Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Deadpool & Wolverine” End Credits

Deadpool and Wolverine tied up together in a wasteland.

Now your two favorite Canadian antiheroes come bundled, like cable! (Not to be confused with Cable, not included.)

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: I’m the hypothetical boogey-moviegoer who lurked in the MPA’s hivemind imagination when they invented the PG-13 label! This prudish geek is back for another round of simultaneous enjoyment and irritation flared up from the inner turmoil between my oft-undiscerning appetite for comics-based movies that aim to deliver Something Different, versus my general disdain for F-bombs (with extremely few exceptions) and sex jokes (more adamantly unilaterally). I realize I’m outnumbered millions-to-one among geekdom-at-large, but I find ways to cope, such as typing into the void upon my tiny, mostly nonpaying hobby-job site.

I skipped the first Deadpool in theaters and instead watched it on a Black Friday Blu-ray with variant Christmas cover, where a smaller medium helped minimize its gratuitous indulgences. All the other parts of Tim Miller’s directorial debut were amazing, though, so I upgraded Deadpool 2 to a theatrical outing. The first one was better, but David Leitch delivered far more satisfying renditions of Colossus and Juggernaut than their half-baked mainline forms. I appreciated both films offering pleasures beyond the guilty kind, sometimes to an intentionally daffy extreme, which is not something that automatically bugs me. All told, the Merc with a Mouth’s two misadventures as a headliner were better than most X-films and, fun trivia, outgrossed them all.

Hence more of the same, but no longer confined to a licensed offshoot series that doesn’t “count”. One corporate merger and a few non-superhero films later, Ryan Reynolds and his entourage of masked stunt doubles are back! And this time, it’s more all the way! More fanboy pandering! More fourth-wall breakage! More pop culture references! More overplayed Top-40 oldies from across the decades! More F-bombs! More sex jokes, obsessively specializing in gay-panicky snark! But the more, more, MORE begins with its very title: Marvel Cinematic Universe After Dark! Wait, no, I mean Deadpool & Wolverine!

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Disney World! Part 29: Magic Meals and Mouse Food

Two Dole Whip floats sitting on a shaded wooden shelf, refer to caption.

Disney World superfans love Dole Whips! At left, the basic pineapple soft-serve float. At right, the Tropical Serenade — pineapple-orange-guava juice, coconut ice cream, and a pineapple upside-down cake pop.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and the handlers kept the winners well fed during the employees-only Tuesday night meet-and-greet beach party, Wednesday morning’s mandatory hours-long business-related seminars, and the Wednesday night company dinner party-trap. As you can imagine, we were much more excited to sample concessions and cuisine from the actual Disney World parks on our own recognizance.

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Disney World! Part 28: Magic Kingdom After Dark

Disney's Cinderella Castle lit up all over at night, lots of blue and mostly purple.

Color me floored by Cinderella Castle’s surprising nighttime resemblance to the current Walt Disney Pictures title card.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and time was running out in her one free day. We had less 90 minutes to spend before we had to leave the Magic Kingdom for an appointment. We tried to make them count.

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Yes, There’s a Scene During the “Twisters” End Credits

Twisters movie poster shows release date of July 19th above the two leads standing on a red ruck and looking at an imminently stormy sky.

So, how about that Singin’ in the Rain reboot?

If you think my usual movie entries suffer from subjectivity, don’t expect an exception here. The original Twister holds a special li’l place in my heart for a variety of reasons. Its director Jan de Bont, fresh off the Speed race, was also the cinematographer on my all-time favorite movie. My mom was (and is) a big fan of disaster films, which had a sort of Golden Age in my childhood, from the natural terrors of Earthquake to the man-made systemic failures of The Towering Inferno, The Poseidon Adventure, Airport, and more. Along a more sensitive vein: in the darkest month of my life, pop culture manifested two welcome distractions to take my mind off my anguish when I needed that most: Rhino Home Video’s very first wave of Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes on VHS, and Twister hitting theaters. Setting my baggage aside, their timing was perfect, as the latter would make a great episode of the former.

Fast-forward 28 years and here we go again with Twisters! They’re back, and this time, they’re even windier. My stress levels aren’t as off-the-charts as they were in ’96 (well, as of this minute), but looking around me, I can’t say the same for the rest of the country, if not the world. Leave it to Lee Isaac Chung, director of the 2021 Best Picture nominee Minari and that season-3 hour-long episode of The Mandalorian that focused on reformed Imperial aide Dr. Pershing, to bravely decide it’s time again for humankind to pull together for a shared experience that’s not great, not terrible, just unapologetically crowd-pleasing and thrilling and extremely loud and filled with scenes of unironic smiling…well, when Mother Nature isn’t trying to murder everyone.

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Science Fiction and Alternate Realities at the Indy Shorts International Film Festival 2024

Sandwich board touting the Indy Shorts Film Festival on a brick sidewalk.

Coming to you not-quite-live from Mass Ave. in downtown Indianapolis!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: last year we attended a genuine film festival! For more than a single film! My wife Anne and I enjoyed the Heartland Film Festival experience so much that we’ve resolved to seek more of those opportunities where possible. As it happens, Heartland isn’t the only game ’round these parts.

Indianapolis is also home to the Indy Shorts International Film Festival, which began as a sort of Heartland spinoff but has taken on a life of its own. It’s the largest Midwest festival of its kind, enjoys a lofty status as an official qualifying event for consideration in the three Academy Awards short-film categories, and has indeed seen past participants go on to Oscar nominations (e.g., last year’s The Barber of Little Rock). This year they fielded 5,130 submissions from filmmakers worldwide and whittled them down to 200 selections that have screened over the course of 34 programs across six days up to and including this very weekend.

I scored two free tickets courtesy of my employer, one of the festival’s sponsors, to attend one program of my choice. I’m game for just about any sort of genre or category and didn’t feel beholden to seek the most geek-forward material, but their “Science Fiction and Alternate Realities” program lined up neatly with an open time slot in what’s proven a rather hectic weekend for us, so we leaned into our geek-aesthete side anyway.

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“A Quiet Place: Day One”: The Mega-Muppets Take Manhattan

Lupita Nyong'o hunched fearfully in an alley, hugging a black-and-white cat.

“I’m not coming out of this alley until you promise Nakia gets more scenes in the next Black Panther.”

Previously on A Quiet Place: Emily Blunt was a heroic mother surviving on a post-apocalyptic farm with her remaining kids and without her Concerned Husband until things once again went awry and they fled to a nearby island, the perfect hiding place from that unnamed alien army who jump-‘n’-slash at the slightest noises but whose fatal weaknesses happened to include bodies of water. Our Family’s happy ending was nice for about ten minutes until one of them learned how to boat. Nevertheless, the day was later saved and human life found a way.

Director John Krasinski kept A Quiet Place: Part II‘s premise simple: “What if the first flick just kept going and was actually three hours long?” The sequel was more an expansion pack than a standalone tale unto itself. It came packaged with a free mini-prequel on the front, needlessly depicting how Day One of the invasion quickly devastated their small town. It was a satisfying course of more-of-the-same, but not in any groundbreaking way that left me yearning for further adventures in the Hyper-Hearing Horror-Horde Cinematic Universe.

Nevertheless, here we go again with some more prequel, A Quiet Place: Day One. With Krasinski off doing other things (i.e., IF, which I skipped), apparently any new AQP extensions are forbidden from moving the main characters forward, much like the Star Wars universe’s treadmilling-in-place spinoffs. Within that common yet exasperating genre-series boundary, what were the odds of a substitute filmmaker steering away from more-of-the-sameness?

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Disney World! Part 27: The Magic Kingdom Beyond the Castle

Bronze Lincoln bust on a pedestal in front of a black-and-white painting of Walt Disney.

We found their miniature American history museum! And you can’t have one of those without a bust of Lincoln.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t have to, so we could do actual tourism together in this supernaturally fun place where our families could never afford to visit in childhood, unlike all the other, more well-off whitebread kids who outnumbered us tens-of-millions-to-2. Thus we spent our afternoon in the Magic Kingdom wandering more than riding, gawking more than waiting in lines, and feeling dumbstruck at sights that surely would’ve blown our minds if we’d come here as kids. It was impossible to hold onto our Gen-X jadedness here.

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On the Unthinkable Occasion of Our 20th Wedding Anniversary

Us doing jazz hands in front of an enlarged photo of George Washington's mansion.

Fun times at George Washington’s Mount Vernon on our 2024 road trip.

It’s that time again! Another year of blessed bliss married to the amazing Anne, another “Happy Anniversary to Us!” entry, another dinner to celebrate, and another nearly unrelated lead image. This year’s milestone is also a multiple of 5, so society says it’s worth extra skill points!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: two geeks met in 1987 in high school German class, somewhat out of sync with the ordinary folks around us. Divine timing would keep our unplanned parallel paths intertwining over the years. Everything led up to our determinedly simple wedding in 2004, by which time we best friends had already started traveling together after growing up in families and lifestyles that didn’t lend themselves to much of it. All these years later, our story continues together through ups and downs, highs and lows, chuckles and tears, aches and pains, and mountains and valleys both figurative and literal.

We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

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Disney World! Part 26: It’s a Small, Small, Small, Small World

Three cutesy singing animatronic figurines with tribal face paints, two mushroom-shaped and one shaped like a thumb. Everything's blue and purple.

Welcome to animatronic Africa with mood lighting!

I ask you, what better time than right now for a shiny happy feel-good gallery of an alternate Earth in which everyone sets aside their differences, concedes they were all cranked out by the same animatronic manufacturer, celebrates mutual captivity on the same indoor canal, welcomes outsiders without fear of mass shootings or assassinations, and drowns out any concerns by singing the same catchy jingle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

…sorry, what were we talking about?

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Disney World! Part 25: Adventure Friends Cavalcade

Disney World parade cast members: Mary Poppins and Stitch, dancing. Mary's eyes are closed. Bert the chimney sweep is nearly offscreen, aghast at something.

If Mary Poppins thinks those Banks whelps were a handful, wait’ll she gets a load of Stitch.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t. We didn’t leave ourselves a lot of time to explore the Magic Kingdom park — i.e., the one with the world-famous castle in it — but we encountered plenty of surprises in the short time allotted.

Case in point: the Disney Adventure Friends Cavalcade! There we were, wandering toward the northern border of Frontierland when we ran into a newly formed roadblock, which made way for a slew of Disney characters to emerge from a gate on our left. An even mix of popular favorites and deep-dive obscurities merrily danced, pranced, strolled, fed upon adulation, and maybe taught us a lesson that sometimes there are good reasons to stop traffic.

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