Thor? Thor who? Oh, you mean my sidekick?
More about America’s favorite Asgardian and his brother Thor…
Yes, There Are Scenes During AND After the “Thor: the Dark World” End Credits
Author Archives: Randall A. Golden
Star Wars Episode VII and the Joy of Arbitrary Deadlines
One of the many lessons we learned from the Prequels Trilogy: C-3PO wasn’t built in a day. (Photo taken at the “Star Wars: Where Science Meets the Imagination” traveling exhibit, which my wife and I saw during its stop in Indianapolis last spring. That exhibit wasn’t built in a day, either.)
(As a side experiment along this vein, I’m experimenting here with a timed entry. I have sixty minutes to crank out this entry from start to finish, and whatever state it’s in when minute #60 strikes, I hit “Publish” and there will be an entry about this subject no matter what. Fortunately my special effects needs are minimal and rarely outsourced.)
Five Tracks That Got Me Through Young Stupid Adulthood
Yep. Those are cassettes. This is how old I am.
A childhood in which I was raised to “find my own path” (read: wander blindly through life’s shadowy forests without a tour guide or even a working flashlight) left me with very few tools for suffering the worst trials and shouldering the heaviest burdens, too many of which I brought on myself. By age thirty a series of improbable coincidences and extensive rethinking sessions had led me at long last to an illuminated trail that’s taken me toward much more reliable means and sources of support and encouragement than I ever had during my extended, two-time college-dropout phase.
Before I walked that way, all I had was music.
Of all the hundreds of songs that have caught my attention throughout my life, five in particular stand out as rare instances in which I was moved by music, moments of lyrical lucidity and emotional truth that resonated deep down in that mushy core whose existence the common guy denies, moments I returned to again and again for comfort, advice, consolation, deep thoughts, and/or a boost of spirit. These were five solid shots struck at the foundation of the oddly designed structure that passes for my life.
“Revolution” 11/6/2013 (spoilers): the Abominable Dr. Horn
For Doctor Horn, life is a big ball of stibby stabby torturey worturey stuff.
One key part that definitely worked: the addition of Željko Ivanek as the sinister Dr. Calvin Horn. Before the blackout he toiled away in the Department of Defense’s Alternative Energies Projects division, the same workplace as Ben and Rachel Matheson, whose fault all of this is. He scaled the ladder of post-blackout career advancement and is now “the President’s senior science adviser”, which is more impressive if you accept the Patriots’ as-yet-unseen “President” as the true leader of the withered husk that represents what’s left of America. He doesn’t brook liars, he has his ear on the ground, and he thinks more than one step ahead. He’s not quite up to two steps ahead, but the potential’s in him.
“Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”: Exploring the Possibilities of 0.00001% of the Marvel Universe
Drama! Excitement! Danger! Peaceful forest walks!
I’m warming a little more to the show as the weeks progress. I’m no longer wishing for Skye the fake-hobo hacker to be dismissed and dropped off at her van down by the river. I’m no longer letting the mystery of Coulson’s alleged clinical death undermine my attention. I’ve stopped nitpicking at how Agent Ward looks 25 but we’re expected to believe he has the acumen and respectability of a 50-year-old war veteran. And I can’t remember the last time I was distracted by an underbudgeted special effect.
One major disappointment still looms: while it’s nice to see them playing with elements of the Marvel movie universe — what’s stopping them from exploring more deeply into the actual Marvel Universe?
(Fair warning: one bit later in this article is a mild spoiler for tonight’s new episode.)
“Sleepy Hollow” 11/4/2013 (spoilers): Does Sin Taste Like Chicken?
Indignant Minuteman Rages Against Oppressive Umpire.
For those who missed out, my attempt to streamline the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers.
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“Ender’s Game”: Kids Kill the Darndest Things
If the stakes were catastrophic enough, the training techniques were sufficiently intensive, and the world were just that unforgiving, who’s to say preteens couldn’t be accelerated to maturity and transmogrified into hardened soldiers like today’s eighteen-year-old American military volunteers?
Thus is the foundation laid for Ender’s Game: in a future where millions have perished at the hands of insectoid aliens (the predominant taxonomic class of Hollywood aliens), Earth’s last hope — and who knows how many hopes were wasted before the story begins — lie in an interstellar military system built on targeting the most gifted junior high students for recruitment, instead of the older kids least likely to go to college.
Halloween Stats 2013: Citywide Raincheck Crushes Holiday Spirit
My two perennial centerpieces, the disturbing duo of Plastic Faceless Reaper and the Bewildering Spider-Skull . And MCC readers who look closely will recognize a character from a previous entry!
First time in my life, as far as I can recall: this year the city of Indianapolis postponed trick-or-treating until November 1st due to a severe thunderstorm forecast for Halloween night. Considering how the eventual storm left thousands of residents without power for hours, I can’t dispute that it was the right call from a public safety standpoint. Our household was spared the worst of the ostensible onslaught. Our lights blinked once, and one of my Halloween crows fell on its side. If there’s a problem level more insignificant than “first-world problems”, that’s where our threat level fell.
The unavoidable rain delay killed our neighborhood turnout, though.
The MCC Halloween Archive!
Bring a lawn chair, cozy up to the fire pit, and share an MCC entry or two from last October with the entire family!
As a Halloween extra for Midlife Crisis Crossover readers who’ve joined us within the past year, or for anyone who loves a good rerun, we offer any or all of the following links to last year’s themed celebrations of the season:
* “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Trick-or-Treaters” — In which I give American kids unsolicited advice on how to do their job properly and earn their free junk food with a clear conscience.
* “Pumpkin Flavored Everything” — Of the four (4) pieces of fiction ever attempted in MCC’s 530-odd entries to date, this 1000-word tale about family, obsession, and the Great Pumpkin remains the most-Liked so far.
* “Halloween Stats 2012; or, the Decline of Trick-or-Treating Civilization” — I’ve kept track of our trick-or-treater traffic every year since 2007, when we became first-time homeowners and escaped our old apartment that trick-or-treaters refused to approach. It helps me determine the next year’s inventory, and sometimes I think counting things is fun. Expect a follow-up this year, though a day late because Indianapolis has officially postponed festivities to Friday due to rampant murderstorms in our Thursday night weather forecast. Boo, hiss.
Enjoy! And Happy Halloween!
“Revolution” 10/30/2013 (spoilers): Tom Neville vs. the Manchurian Son
On tonight’s new episode of The Tom Neville Show, “Dead Man Walking”, the best scene was shockingly not a Neville scene. Near the very end, a new character rides into the town of Willoughby, a mysterious Dr. Horn whose high-level connection to the Patriots implies big trouble ahead for our man Neville and his gang. I’m excited because, even though all Dr. Horn did this week was literally ride into town and wave hi, he’s played by Željko Ivanek (at right in the above photo), a recurring supporter from the great Homicide: Life on the Street who’s popped into dozens of movies throughout my lifetime and made them better places to be, for at least the span of his own scenes. If Revolution is adding him as a Big Bad, then…well, between him and last week’s strong episode, I may consider being excited about the frequent scenes that don’t have Giancarlo Esposito in them.
Enough about Ivanek. What about this week in Tom Neville news?
Southern Indiana, Autumn Wonderland
My wife and I spent last Saturday deep in the heart of southern Indiana, a land whose most outstanding feature is the autumnal color change that sweeps the forests and lures us city folk from our comfort zones for a spell. If you need a break from your internet addiction, it’s an eye-catching time for it, especially since that entire half of the state is largely off the grid and proud of it.
So You Want to Be a Super Awesome “Freshly Pressed” All-Star
A fake reader lurking within my subconscious writes:
Dear Mr. Crossover,
Hello! How are you? I am fine. I have been using WordPress.com for four years. Please follow my blog and reblog all three of my posts so far, because I just Liked a random post you wrote last month without reading it and now you owe me. I have another question. I read your About page and it says you had three different posts on Freshly Pressed, which is a really big deal because it means WordPress likes you best. I think that’s really unfair and you didn’t deserve it and I want to know your secret. How can I be more like you and get Freshly Pressed so that I can become famous and everyone will like me and then I can write for Hollywood and make enough money to buy your website and set it on fire and run over the ashes in my new Humvee? Also, I nominated you for a Liebster Award and I will Follow you if you Follow me.
Sincerely,
N.V.S. Strawman
Exposition, WY
http://ripoffsweatshopfashions.wordpress.com
Dear Mr. Strawman,
I wish you hadn’t asked, but I can tell you what I’ve learned from the experiences that changed my life forever and made me Hero of the Internets. As you begin reading, prepare to rethink your entire existence piece by piece, until every second becomes retroactively spectacular from Day Zero onward.
2013 Road Trip Photos #17: Open Sea, Infinite Horizon
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Several different Cape Cod companies offer whale-watching cruises. Your family boards a large boat with dozens of other passengers, spends an hour circumnavigating the Cape, spends another hour or two in the nearest part of the Atlantic Ocean searching for signs of whales, seeks every possible opportunity to gaze upon a real whale in the wild, and spends another hour returning to port. Their cruises are short, fast, and noncommittal compared to your average week-long Alaskan cruise. If you have no real reason to remain out to sea for days, it’s a much more affordable open-water sampling method.
Even if the Hyannis Whale Watching Cruise had turned out whaleless, the voyage itself off the Cape into the nearest reaches of the Atlantic Ocean was a fascinating experience for our family of landlubbers. Our landlocked homeland is hundreds of miles from the nearest ocean, and we certainly don’t have any whale pods conveniently hanging out in Lake Michigan.
The Mantis (With Apologies to Poe)
Once upon a weekday dreary, one that ended with us bleary,
Still we persevered to complete every forgotten chore
As my wife, who got home first, often has the workload worst
Let out the dog before he’d burst, burst right through the door
“Hold on, already!” she muttered, “First let me at the door —
Then you’ll go, and not before.”
For dog’s sake she flung the entry, when, while standing there as sentry,
Nearby hung a praying mantis about as tall as Tipper Gore
Perhaps a slight distortion make I, but it looked her in the eye
It, with mien of calm and cool, perched right on our outer door —
Perched upon the squeaky hinge that held fast our outer door —
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
A Photo Salute to the Little Things About Baseball
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Anyone who knows me is well aware of my aversion to sports… [but] a boon from my employer facilitated tonight’s very special date with my wife at fabulous Victory Field, home of the Indianapolis Indians, our local minor-league baseball team.
(We took many photos for sharing, but the night and I are no longer young. Another time for those, I think, along with the story of how I earned those free tickets…)
I later shared the story of how I earned the tickets, but tonight we present the long-missing conclusion of the Great MCC Baseball Trilogy — i.e., those photos I said I’d share. With the 2013 World Series underway this week, pitting our old pastor’s favorite team against the guys from Fever Pitch, now seemed as good a time as any to recapture that date night my wife and I spent at Victory Field. Our best photos focused largely on the ephemera surrounding the showdown between our Indianapolis Indians and the Louisville Bats. We were more intrigued by the details around the edges rather than by the game itself. We’re weird, atypical Americans like that.
That’s not to say the game didn’t have its moments. Night games in particular are fun for me at Victory Field, chiefly because this was a rare excuse for me to remember what nightlife looks like. I’m not one for barhopping or full-price matinees, and nighttime is when all the best TV shows are on, not to mention it’s my key time slot for internet typing. Diversions from routine can be invigorating, though.
“Revolution” 10/23/2013 (spoilers): Tom Neville on Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Tom Neville, Defender of Wagon Force One!
Back When I Wore Halloween Costumes
Fortunately for our uncommon family, J. K. Rowling created characters for every imaginable somatotype.
Most of the accessories were thrift-shop finds. My son’s Weasley hair was simulated using an entire can of orange hair spray. We spent the evening accompanying her sister’s family and had a total blast. And then we never did it again.
A Few Plugs for Old Friends
Erin Boyes and just desserts, in promo art for writer/director Seth Sherwood’s short film Fruitcake.
Historically speaking, Midlife Crisis Crossover has been terrible at plugging friends’ projects. You’d think it would be one of the many natural uses for a nicheless blog like mine, and yet…here I am, smacking my forehead and feeling sheepish about the oversight. If I can’t pass along their good news and upcoming projects — especially for the magnanimous one or two among them who’ve kindly passed word along about this site to their own connections since its inception — then what can I pass along?
In that spirit, MCC offers the following items of interest for your perusal. It’s been a privilege to share membership in the same online community with each of these contributors, who deserve the success they seek in their respective walks of life. If said success includes a product with a “Special Thanks” section, here’s hoping they keep the little people in mind. LOUD COUGH.
* * * * *
2013 Road Trip Photos #16: Parts of a Whale
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Several different Cape Cod companies offer whale-watching cruises. Your family boards a large boat with dozens of other passengers, spends an hour circumnavigating the Cape, spends another hour or two in the nearest part of the Atlantic Ocean searching for signs of whales, seeks every possible opportunity to gaze upon a real whale in the wild, and spends another hour returning to port. Their cruises are short, fast, and noncommittal compared to your average week-long Alaskan cruise. If you have no real reason to remain out to sea for days, it’s a much more affordable open-water sampling method.
Such a vacation plan begs the question: did we actually see any whales?
The answer: yes, but not an entire whale. We had no moment of cinematic majesty in which a humpback whale vaulted high above the sails in slow motion for the perfect photo op. Not once did a sperm whale jut its head out of the water and spray water through its blowhole in our faces. Nor did we witness a single second of an entire whale pod racing across the surface or dancing together in an intricately choreographed Busby Berkeley extravaganza. That would’ve been worth twice the ticket price, but you have to understand: those scenes in movies and TV shows are performed by Hollywood stunt whales. In our world, not every whale is that gifted, or that starved for human attention.
With that in mind, my family and I bring you the following display of cinema verité, in which we present what whale photography really looks like without a special effects budget. Behold the wonder of nature at its finest!
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The Old Introvert’s Guide to a Fun Night on the Town All Alone
The average loner feels as if they’re always on the outside looking in. This is a POV of me on the inside looking out, convincing myself that I’ve turned the tables on the rest of humanity. Your move, humanity.
Just got back from attending my first concert in years…I have multiple reasons for rarely indulging in live music, but in those extremely rare situations when bands I actually, truly like (or liked at one time) come to town, this old man has been known to grant exceptions.
For the record, as with many of my past concert experiences, I attended alone. My wife and I share many important qualities and beliefs, but we differ on some of the unimportant stuff, including but not limited to musical preferences. That’s hardly a recipe for disaster, but if I want to catch one of my favorite musicians live, it means I’m on my own. The only acquaintances who share my musical tastes all live in different states. When I was younger, it was a bit more soul-crushing to find myself alone in a crowd full of happy couples and cliques. The older I get, the less it damages me.
When I have the opportunity to check out something interesting beyond our four walls, it’s not an automatic assumption that someone must be there to hold my hand. My wife and I find plenty of opportunities for quality time, but sometimes I’ll heed the call of a potentially rewarding solo adventure. How do I keep my spirits up without whining about loneliness or making sad puppy-dog eyes at other people and wishing really hard that they were my BFFs? What follows is a partial list of some of the personal guidelines that served me well on this particular jaunt.
Midlife Crisis Crossover! 