Though I don’t advertise it heavily with an intricately crafted banner across my “About” page, Midlife Crisis Crossover maintains an open policy of Ask Almost Anything (because in my lifetime, AAA has been far more beneficial to me than the AMA), which extends not only to regular readers and commenters, but also to constant Likers, silent Followers, and passing Googlers. If you have a question, a plea, an intensely thoughtful comment, or a request for a fun brainstorming list that can’t be answered in a short, simple reply, we’re happy to elevate it to Main Topic status for a future entry and explore the subject further in depth. Caveat: you must prove you’re not an illiterate spammer in order to qualify for this offer.

From time to time we also review queries and curious sentence fragments from passing search engine users, because even the silent, fleeting passersby deserve to be heard, even if they’re no longer around to find the answer they needed. We haven’t checked the ol’ MCC search-term mailbag in ages, and the suggestion box has indeed been stuffed silly. Tonight seems as convenient a night as any to dig in and bring closure to the unclosed.

Let the questioning begin!

* “is there any biblical parts in the movie the crood”

There’s a flood. Close enough?

* “does rachel and matheson due from the grenade in revulution”

If only we’d been so lucky. So far, still ticking.

* “train floats”

No, it won’t. Please think twice before making this misconception integral to your next heist caper.

* “you may see imitators of these five dream team members at comicon”

Are you asking me to search for basketball player impersonators in San Diego? Tell you what: buy me two tickets plus airfare to next year’s shindig, and I’ll play Scavenger Hunter to your heart’s content. Fair warning: I could pick maybe six or seven real-life players out of a crowd, at best. I’m not really the guy you want to hire as a Sports Detective.

* “xenogenesis essay harlan ellison full text”

That particular essay is a must-read litany of evil-fan cautionary tales that any convention geek would do well to hunt down and read for themselves. I have a copy of it taped into one of my scrapbooks, clipped from an old issue of Comics Buyer’s Guide. No way am I posting it here, though — Ellison and/or his lawyers would punch me into the ground.

* “hunger games reaping effie”

Come to think of it, I’d be mildly curious to see a fanfic in which it’s revealed that Effie Trinket is a former Tribute herself. Go write that and let me know how it turns out. For extra credit, allow her to use only makeup as a weapon.

* “who will be at the indy comic con”

Great question! So far the biggest comics-based headliner that will be coming to Indianapolis March 14-16, 2014, is world-famous writer/artist George Perez, whom I’ve already met twice (and who made a special guest appearance here on MCC once to correct something I’d misunderstood), but the con runners have been updating frequently over the past few weeks. Announced guests presently include:

* Daniel Cudmore (Colossus in X:2: X-Men United and the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past)
* Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones)
* Ren and Stimpy showrunner Bob Camp
* Legendary Iron Man artist/writer Bob Layton (“Demon in a Bottle”, “Armor Wars”, “Doomquest”)
* Writer Steve Englehart (Detective Comics, West Coast Avengers, Vision & Scarlet Witch)
* Don Kramer (pre-New 52 Justice Society)
* Joëlle Jones (Madame Xanadu, Oni’s Helheim)
* Joe Phillips (Mister Miracle, Speed Racer)
* Geof Isherwood (Justice, Web of Spider-Man)
* Val Mayerik, co-creator of Howard the Duck
* Big Two colorist Art Lyon
* Fantasy painter Ken Kelly
* Painter Mark Sparacio (I remember when he did covers for CBG)
* ’70s/’80s Marvel artist Keith Pollard (Black Panther, Fantastic Four)
* ’70s/’80s Marvel artist Rich Buckler (pretty much everything; Best of Show was the traumatic “The Death of Jean DeWolff” in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man)

MCC will certainly be checking the official site for future updates. (Caution: Loki artist Esad Ribic had been announced, but canceled.)

* “Ro’kenhrontyes”

Incontestably the most popular MCC search term from the last thirty days. Fun trivia: someone in the Sleepy Hollow writers’ room made up that “legend” from scratch (possibly the episode’s credited writer, Firefly vet Jose Molina), and actual online members of the Mohawk tribe really wish everyone would stop asking them about it.

* “what were some mid life crisis for john adams”

My wife has read David McCullough’s acclaimed biography of our second President, but I haven’t, nor did she mention whether or not this era in his life was covered. I like to think there was a short chapter in which Adams — tired of banging his head against a wall in his dealings with his other, more respected cohorts — got burnt out, threw caution to the wind, tore off his wig, and went cruising around the Cape Cod coastline in a stylish new wagon with flame decals on the side.

* “costume party girls free pics”

This isn’t the sexist Halloween store you’re looking for.

* “is daxter in wreck it ralph?”

I was honestly disappointed with how few recognizable characters popped up in that film. I expected it to put Who Framed Roger Rabbit? to shame in that regard. Either the budget wasn’t there or today’s film crossover negotiations are more treacherous than they used to be.

* “is doug jones the sandman in sleepy hollow”

Jones would’ve been a great fit as the Ro’Kenhrontyes, but Hollywood has more than one tall, lanky guy. In this case it was Marti Matulis, with whom I’m unfamiliar. Perhaps we can watch them duel someday in Pan’s Labyrinth 2: Revenge of the White Monsters.

* “will he come back to me after midlife crisis”

Wish I knew, but consider yourself in my prayers, ma’am. Guys my age (plus/minus 10 years) can be surprisingly confused and/or thoughtless.

* “christopher nolan interstellar budget”

Probably already approaching eleventy jillion bucks and counting. Expect Interstellar to earn Nolan & co. twice that at the box office next year.

* “once upon a time cost per episode”

What’s eleventy jillion divided by a zillion? Slightly more than that, which may explain why this season has so far had the same amount of middling CGI effects as previous seasons, but with a smaller cast per episode.

* “leland orser net worth”

No idea. Not every actor is featured in Forbes. I’m guessing less than Tom Hanks but more than Marti Matulis. Whatever the answer, he deserves more.

* “comic con in indy !!! 2014 march—be there !!!”

FINE! I WILL! STOP OVERUSING PUNCTUATION!