“Selma”: For Your Voting Consideration

January 15, 2015 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Selma!

Show of hands: who wants to read what another middle-class white guy thinks about Selma?

So much glowing praise has been written by countless others that I’m not sure my voice needs to count as anything other than a vote for “Yes, you should go see it now,” and this is apropos because voting was one of the key issues at stake in the famous historical event it covers. And what a simple pleasure it is to side with the professional viewing majority who’ve given it a landslide 99% rating on the Tomatometer, nicked slightly by thumbs-down from two white critics over 60.

It took forty-six years for Hollywood to produce the very first theatrical film about the great Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Its predecessors are a few documentaries; an infamous X-rated film that shouldn’t count; two TV-movies, including the Peabody Award-winning Boycott, which sounds very interesting to me right now; and an Emmy-nominated animated time-travel adventure. Thanks to director Ava DuVernay (who previously appeared in last year’s Roger Ebert documentary Life Itself), the MLK film bibliography looks a lot stronger now.

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Former Kickstarter Junkie IV: Here, YOU Save Spaceflight

January 13, 2015 By in Misc. Media Tags: , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments
Fight for Space!

Moviemaking is like spaceflight. Dream big. Aim high. Don’t look down. Curse the budget issues.

Paul Hildebrandt needs your help. For over two years the director and his crew have been conducting dozens of interviews, sifting through countless hours of archival footage, knocking at closed D.C. backrooms, stumping for truth, analyzing the facts, looking for root causes, and working hard to bring you Fight for Space, an ambitious documentary about the sorry state of America’s position in the international space race, where things went wrong, why they’re still off track today, and what barriers still stand between humanity and our return to the stars.

I previously wrote about Hildebrandt’s project in July 2012 when I signed on as a backer to his official Kickstarter campaign. His quest succeeded and exceeded his formidable funding goal of $65,000.00, with pledges totaling over $105,000.00. For the next year-plus, Hildebrandt pursued more interviews, hit roadblocks in several areas (including any and all inquiries into Elon Musk’s SpaceX program, which availed him naught), wrapped filming, began post-production, and updated us once every few months when properly badgered.

Then the money ran out. Hildebrandt was taken aback and humbled by the process, but he means to finish what he started. To that end, he’s just launched a second Kickstarter campaign to raise more funds so he can afford to complete his work as he envisions it.

Hildebrandt needs your help, and so do I. You can make a difference and help this important project finish happening, in hopes that it could shed new light on a touchy subject and change minds nationwide. Also, if there aren’t enough backers in this second round of donations, I’m guessing the whole thing collapses and I’ll never see the rewards I’m still owed from his first Kickstarter campaign. I was kind of hoping to have those in hand before I die.

Hi. My name is Randy. It’s been 25 months since I last gave a single dime to a Kickstarter project…

2014 Road Trip Photos #11: The Flour That Blooms in Adversity

January 12, 2015 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Giant Pancakes!

Someone needs to teach schoolkids the importance of flour to everyday American life. If parents won’t do it, the Mill City Museum will. Pictured above: giant educational pancakes.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

After we finished our business at the Mall of America, our Day Three proceeded from the south end of the Twin Cities to Minneapolis’ north side, where we discovered something completely different.

One of the advantages of traveling without children is that you can stop at historical attractions that they’d never agree to, that would make them think you’ve lost your mind and all your accumulated cool points. If you’d like, you can even check out places that other adults would never dream of investigating because they’re too busy looking for vacation destinations where they can drink or hike or tan or drink or relax or meditate or drink. It takes a special kind of couple to look at each other and think, “Let’s go see the ruins of a flour factory!”

The Mill City Museum is that kind of place, and we are that couple.

And now, a brief history lesson for all the bread geeks out there!

My 2014 at the Movies, Part 2 of 2: the Year’s Least Worst

January 11, 2015 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Interstellar!

“…so then I said to the bull, ‘Take the long way, huh? Thank you, Cyrus.’ So I turned my Mercury around and just kept going and going and…next thing you know, here I am.”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once again January is National List Month, that left-brained time of year when everyone’s last twelve months of existence must be removed from their mental filing cabinets, reexamined, and refiled in specific pecking order from Greatest to Most Grating. The final tabulations reveal I saw 19 films in theaters in 2014 and four via On Demand while they were still in limited release…

And now, on with the countdown:

Right this way for the Year’s Best Films according to some guy!

My 2014 at the Movies, Part 1 of 2: the Year’s Least Best

January 10, 2015 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Horns!

Harry was pretty sure he’d gone terribly wrong somewhere on his Defense Against the Dark Arts homework.

Once again January is National List Month, that left-brained time of year when everyone’s last twelve months of existence must be removed from their mental filing cabinets, reexamined, and refiled in specific pecking order from Greatest to Most Grating. Here on Midlife Crisis Crossover, we enjoy our annual tradition of spending at least two posts looking back at our year in movies, trying to remember what we thought about them at the time and ultimately deciding which films can beat up which other films. When I reach that realization that my opinions sometimes change over time upon further reflection or second viewings, that’s when the process turns messy and I end up hating my own list. But internet bylaws insist it must be done. And I like lists more than I like internet bylaws.

The final tabulations reveal I saw 19 films in theaters in 2014 (tying with 2007 and 2010 as worst moviegoing years ever) and four via On Demand while they were still in limited release. This count doesn’t include seven 2013 films I attended in 2014 for Oscar-chasing purposes, or any films I watched on home video long after their theatrical run. As one sad example, this harsh rule of mine disqualifies Boyhood from the list since I just watched it via Redbox rental two nights ago. If I’d gotten out of the house for a three-hour theater visit just one more time last summer, it would’ve made my Top 3. Consider this paragraph my version of a Very Honorable Mention.

Links to past reviews and thoughts are provided for historical reference. On with the reverse countdown, then:

Right this way for the weakest of the herd!

“Boyhood”: a Living, Breathing, Three-Dimensional Scrapbook

January 9, 2015 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Boyhood!

“Dad, the magical all-seeing crystal says to watch out for something called ‘the Purge’. Does that mean anything to you?”

The Oscars are coming! As longtime MCC followers should know, I’m one of those guys who makes a habit of seeing all the Best Picture nominees every year for fun and entertainment and amateur prognostication purposes. It’s been my thing since 1997 and there hasn’t been a nominee repugnant enough to ruin the ritual for me yet. I had a couple of close calls full of regret, to be sure, but so far I’ve not backed down.

With the official nominations announcement coming next Thursday morning, January 15th, I decided getting a head start on my marathon might not be a bad idea, especially if we end up with nine or ten films on the docket. By a stroke of luck and/or shrewd marketing calculations, this week saw the home-video release of one of the likeliest nominees, Richard Linklater’s Boyhood. Even if it somehow misses the shortlist because of a crowded field or ballet-box stuffing or whatever, no harm done here — I’d been wanting to see this one anyway. If I bothered with an arbitrary rating system, I’d give Boyhood seven out of five stars, an A-super-plus, a two-minute standing ovation, and the loveliest fruit basket I can afford.

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“Sleepy Hollow” 1/5/2015: Reaping Angels

January 6, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
The Angel Orion!

Our Heroes should’ve known something was wrong as soon as they saw the angel holding a halo over his own head. Truly good angels buy the pricey, floaty kind of halo.

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: One hero fought valiantly but died; one villain died harder when another villain turned betrayer at the last minute; still another villain found himself in chains; and our man Ichabod Crane rode his first motorcycle, possibly not his last.

In tonight’s new episode, “Paradise Lost”: new villains succeed the old; a new outcast offers his services for a price; one old villain seeks redemption; and Katrina Crane gives everyone new reasons to gnash their teeth and rend their garments every time she talks.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

…

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2014 Road Trip Photos #10: The Enterprise Incident

January 4, 2015 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Enterprise bridge!

We spent actual dollars having this souvenir photo taken just so we’d have visual evidence to share with friends. Unfortunately my color-correction skills aren’t up to the task of overriding the exhibit camera’s “Radioactive Circus” filter.

Captain’s Log, stardate 2114.198, Day Three of our trip. Our time frame, destination, and course were all charted months before our missions were chosen. During the itinerary process we discovered one optional assignment that was not indigenous to our target area, but had been established in the Twin Cities area a mere two months before our arrival. While surveying the metropolitan areas themselves was our primary objective, my First Officer and I agreed this might be the sole opportunity of our lifetime to take advantage — not only as a recreational side quest for the sake of our crew (both of us), but as a fact-finding investigation for our colleagues back at HQ.

So that’s why we returned to the Mall of America: not because we love shopping (meh), but because we figured such excellent timing obligated us to check out the traveling museum tour known as Star Trek: the Exhibition.

Right this way for our report!

My 2014 in Books and Graphic Novels

January 2, 2015 By in Comics/Lit, Misc. Media Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Hollow City!

Ransom Riggs’ Hollow City, one of a precious few 2014 books I actually read in 2014.

Time again for the annual entry in which I protest to the world that, yes, I do indeed read books and stuff. Despite the lack of MCC entries about my reading matter, I’m never not in progress on reading something, but what I read is rarely timely, and those few timely items frequently don’t inspire a several-hundred word response from me. I can go on and on about movies and TV shows (albeit with mixed results); books, not so handily. It’s a personality defect that merits further analysis at some point.

Presented below is my full list of books, graphic novels, and trade collections that I finished reading in 2014, in order of completion. Three were part of a 3-in-1 Sci-Fi Book Club edition and made sense to read back-to-back, but consequently took up more reading weeks than I expected. A few other items were pure catch-up of books that had been sitting on the unread shelf for far too long and were technically irrelevant by the time I got around to them. As I whittle down the never-ending stack that’s bothered me for decades, my long-term hope before I turn 60 is to get to the point where my reading list is more than, say, 40% new releases every year. That’s a lofty goal, but I can dream

That list, then…

All is Quiet on New Year’s Day. GOOD.

January 1, 2015 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Lucky!

Some holidays were made for lethargy.

After a busy Christmas weekend and a restless year in general, I determined New Year’s Day would be an oasis of peace and inaction. No working, no running errands, no visiting relatives, no spending hours on home improvement or inessential chores, no new projects even if they’re fun ones, no heavy lifting, no hard thinking, and no activities that resemble my day-job responsibilities.

Good news: complete lack-of-mission accomplished. My concentration levels are rising. My worries are muted. My nerves are steady. How our dog Lucky spent New Year’s Eve (pictured above) is how I spent today. I love it when a plan comes together.

Some of this re-energizing trance will be wasted because I’m denied the luxury of a four-day weekend and will be reporting to work Friday. Chores and home activities will likely be Saturday’s themes. For now, I’m taking what I can get, enjoying the moment, and living for a short while longer like a spoiled house dog. If you haven’t tried it I highly recommend it, but only in moderation. If too many of us choose to live this way 24/7, our society crumbles and all the older citizens will write indulgent thinkpieces shaming us all. So today only, the rest; tomorrow, back to the stress.

…

Too much typing. Stopping now.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

WordPress.com Magic Elves Offer Colorful Second Opinion of My 2014

December 31, 2014 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Happy New Year, internet! Here’s hoping 2015 personally comes to your house, pushes 2014 down a staircase, pushes a piano down the stairs after it, blames it on 2013, and works double overtime to be a vastly better year for you. I won’t tell on 2015 if you won’t.

As in years past, those all-knowing stats overseers at WordPress.com have compiled an automated 2014 Annual Report for each and every blogger on their roster, complete with New Year’s fireworks that you can pretend is a handy screensaver by leaving your computer on and your browser open 24/7.

Right this way for the link to the report, and a rundown of unique MCC entries you may have missed!

Midlife Crisis Crossover 2014 in Review: Our 3rd Annual Stats Party!

December 31, 2014 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments
Indy Pop Con!

This outtake from Indy Pop Con captures some of the brighter parts of my 2014: LEGO, conventions, new T-shirts, Star Wars, and my wife. Not in that order.

Hey there, supporters and strangers! Welcome to the third annual Midlife Crisis Crossover year-in-review. This modest site was launched on April 28, 2012, as a nervous experiment in writing whatever came to mind in a space to call my own, and so far it’s been a much more fulfilling pastime than lurking around message boards and tapping my foot impatiently while waiting for other fun people to discuss things I wanted to discuss. Last week saw the release of MCC’s 900th post, and so far I’m at a loss to explain exactly how that happened. I dreaded 2014 would be the year I ran out of anecdotes and opinions and jokes, but in hindsight I can’t think of a reason to let that stop me now. If this happened months ago, everybody do me a favor and don’t tell me, because the longer you let me ramble on like this, the funnier it’ll be to watch my eventual horrified epiphany.

MCC’s 2012 was a slow rise from nothingness to quantifiable somethingness. Our 2013 was about steady upward trending as I kept exploring my limitations and horizons. 2014, on the other hand, saw largely flatlined traffic except around a few key events. This peaceful plateau may be in part because 2014 was MCC’s first year without a single entry achieving the much-vaunted WordPress.com “Freshly Pressed” status, that prized occasion in which the WordPress staff shares a well-regarded work of yours with a much wider audience of fellow WordPress users. Without such a generous boost to accelerate audience growth this year, it meant trying to hold your attention with old-school methods — by keeping the content coming, by appreciating the greatest audience of all times, by digging into topics that might interest other humans besides myself, by trying not to suck, and by wishing really hard that magic search-engine genies would do all my marketing for me.

Continue here for MCC’s own best and worst of 2014!

“The Battle of the Five Armies” Plus Martin Freeman as THE Hobbit

December 30, 2014 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , 9 Comments
Azog the Defiler!

“Let’s take this once more from the top! Real actors to the south, CG replicants to the north, and…ACTION! STAB STAB STABBY-STAB STAB!”

The end of the beginning is here! The epilogue of the prologue has arrived! The grand finale that goes in the middle of the story, even though it was hardly there originally, is finally out! And now it’s time for Part 3 of 6: the Final Chapter!

In An Unexpected Journey we watched a disgruntled Tim from The Office saunter through dangerous territories and endure slovenly dwarven hijinks. In The Desolation of Smaug we watched a resourceful Dr. John Watson brave wild carnival rides and face the growly wrath of a super-sized, serpentine Sherlock Holmes. And now, in The Battle of the Five Armies, director Peter Jackson takes us on one last guided tour of Middle-Earth filled with racial politics, emotional turmoil, treasure addiction, star-crossed lovers, all-out war, Revenge of the Sith continuity knot-tying, video game magic, the world’s funniest riding animals, and a few special appearances by frazzled hitchhiker Arthur Dent. Closure is truly ours for the taking.

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Can We Count My New PS3 Toward My Obligatory Midlife Crisis?

December 29, 2014 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments
Bioshock!

Here I come to save the day in a cruddy pic from this afternoon’s Bioshock session.

For a blog with “midlife crisis” in the title, it may seem odd that I don’t discuss the concept much. Other than the casual references in my About page, my only direct treatment of the subject was in an entry from MCC’s first month, before I had readers or any clear idea where this site would be going.

The short version of that old entry: I think I’m okay on the midlife crisis front. So far, no urge to go splurge on a flashy sports car whose insurance payments, speeding tickets, and designer gas requirements would devastate me. No desire to go prowling for an under-25 replacement wife that I’d disappoint on multiple levels. No fleeting whims to quit the day job that makes this entire long-term experiment possible. No chance of drastic fashion overhaul, hair implants, or radical blubberectomy. And, thankfully, no therapy sessions scheduled to scrutinize a burdensome lack of Happy.

Yet, anyway.

But there was one item I picked up on Black Friday 2014 that I’m hoping will be the one big unplanned expenditure to fully sublimate any such lingering, as-yet-imperceptible, subconscious urges to escape reality or to revisit those bygone days of youthful vim and vigor: a used PS3.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #9: Another Hick in the Mall, Part 2

December 28, 2014 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Nickelodeon Universe!

Welcome to Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America! Also, there are stores.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

Readers who followed along last summer with the remastered edition of our 2006 travelog may have been disappointed at the dearth of photos in the Mall of America chapter. The great and powerful Mall is an enormous structure with hundreds of places to visit and acquire stuff, but last time we just didn’t think to use our cameras much because shopping and photo ops are two activities that tend to be mutually exclusive activities in our minds.

Right this way for more mall pics than last time!

The MCC Christmas Archive 2014!

December 25, 2014 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments
Christmas with Morgan Freeman

Submitted for your re-approval: the third annual MCC imaginary reading of A Charlie Brown Christmas‘ version of the Christmas story by Not Morgan Freeman. (Freeman photo credit: CynSimp via photopin cc)

By the time many of you glance at this, the Christmas season will be over and your internet contributions for the rest of the year will consist mostly of blocking former loved ones on Facebook and brainstorming New Year’s resolutions that were made to be broken. For anyone who wants to prolong the magic, the following guide to recommended Midlife Crisis Crossover Christmas entries from 2013 and 2014 is provided here as a value-added holiday gift for anyone who’s been too busy for reading this month, for longtime MCC readers who love themed compilations, for those who forgot what last year was like, or for incorrigible MCC spammers who need new pages to infiltrate. For new readers who joined us in 2014, last year’s MCC Christmas archive should bring you up to date on what you missed from MCC Year One, and provides glimpses into what ideas I might be tempted to recycle in 2015.

Enjoy! And if I don’t see you tonight or tomorrow: Merry Christmas!

Frosty the Snowman!

* “My Super Awesome ‘Frosty the Snowman’ Reboot Pitch” — If you click on just one of these entries, let it be my outline for a thirteen-episode Frosty series reboot called Snowman, which totally deserves a mid-season slot on The CW, or maybe Esquire TV. My favorite thing I’ve done all month, possibly one of my five favorite 2014 entries in terms of sheer writing joy.

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2014 Christmas Photos, Because Christmas

December 24, 2014 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Mamaw's Tree!

Closeup of my wife’s grandmother’s Christmas tree. The family sees to it that it’s put up and decorated and standing tall for her every year.

Christmas! Christmas! Christmas! Just, y’know, for the record.

Lots of folks out there are busy, bustling, hustling, jostling, careening around their nearest shopping district and/or enduring work for just one more shift until that wonderful time arrives. So much to plan, so many gatherings to negotiate, so much food to hoard and craft into pleasant shapes before the stores shut down, so few moments to spare for reading or internet interaction or Liking stuff. It’s okay. I understand. We’re busy here, too, even though this is MCC’s 900th entry and I feel like I should be celebrating or something. But hey, Christmas and all that, right?

In that spirit of bouncy Christmas merriment and limited free time, we present Christmas pics of recent vintage never before shared on MCC, until now for your split-second perusal and positive Christmas reinforcement. Please enjoy, then go do whatever you gotta do, up to and including CHRISTMAS!

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42 Bath & Body Works Rejects for Last-Minute Christmas Shoppers

December 23, 2014 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , 9 Comments
Bath & Body Works!

This photo contains SPOILERS for some of our relatives, but they never visit this site. Lucky me!

I don’t know if your local strip malls have Bath & Body Works stores, but ’round these parts they’re the uncontested champions of creating and marketing soaps, shampoo, shower gels, lotions, sprays, and other assorted cleansing liquids in imaginative flavors, scents, or made-up poetic themes. You can’t buy just one B&BW item in a given kind such as Juniper Breeze, Country Apple, Twilight Woods, Midnight Pomegranate, Dancing Waters, or Warm Vanilla Sugar. You have to collect the entire set or else your bathroom cabinet contents won’t match and all your showers and baths will go horribly wrong. Other customers can just tell, and their concerned glares will heap shame upon you and your failure to treat hygiene as pretty-smelling Serious Business.

The women in my wife’s family love, love, love their B&BW products. Every one of them has a favorite flavor or scent from the vast catalog of personal cleansing products. Amazingly, my wife has memorized the favorites of every single relative so she’ll know exactly which stocking stuffers to buy. I’ve never once seen her swap their gels by accident, nor vice versa. Somehow they all have a system and it works for them. This sort of thing doesn’t have to be divided among gender lines, but my son, my brothers-in-law, my nephews, and I are united in our befuddlement while this part of the annual gift exchange goes on. We figure as long as we’re clean, or at least clean-ish, we’re good to go.

Right this way for your last, best, most desperate holiday gift-giving guide!

Why I Hate Comic Book Crossovers

December 22, 2014 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

DC Comics Presents 85!

When I was 13, DC Comics Presents #85 was one of many issues I bought that crossed over with DC’s epic event Crisis on Infinite Earths, back when buying tie-in issues was a new concept and I was easily persuaded to spend extra money on comics. For longtime MCC followers who don’t know comics, now you know the origin of the phrase “Crisis Crossover”, which was a thing for a long time.

Today an online chum was curious why I turn vitriolic whenever a comic book discussion turns to the subject of crossover events. Thousands and thousands of readers love it when Marvel or DC Comics plan a major story that’s told partly through a miniseries whose storylines and subplots branch out to affect between ten and fifty other comic books during a three- to six-month publishing span. They’re such a proven sales-driving phenomenon that by the time you’re deep in the middle of occasions such as Marvel’s current Axis or DC’s upcoming Convergence, the executives and editorial staff are already looking forward to the next crossover after that one.

Reprinted below is an edited version of the 1200-word answer I cranked out earlier this evening in half an hour off the top of my head. My response didn’t require much research, soul-searching, or structural fussiness. It’s rare that anyone asks me a question that spurs such an immediate, entry-length response, so I’m archiving it here for future reference the next time someone asks.

(The full-length, more carefully crafted version would be three times as long and take more hours to fine-tune than I have at my disposal tonight. Another time, perhaps)

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Christmas Shopping? I’m Not Even Done With My November Chores

December 20, 2014 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , 9 Comments

Raking Leaves!

Every day at work this week, the small talk turned largely to one of two topics: “Here, have some sugary snacks!” and “Got your Christmas shopping done yet?” I hate when small talk uncovers a festering wound the questioner didn’t know was there.

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