“American Sniper”: 2,100 Yards to Victory

American Sniper.

“It’s a heck of a thing to stop a beatin’ heart.”

During the final scenes of the box office smash American Sniper, that bit of fatherly commentary is among the last words young Colton Kyle (Max Charles) hears from his father, accomplished Navy SEAL marksman Chris Kyle, in the days preceding his dad’s murder. With that plainspoken admonition, a variation on a famous line from Unforgiven, three-time Oscar nominee Bradley Cooper cuts to the point of director Clint Eastwood’s new film, one of his most controversial and his highest-grossing of all time.

Several previous movies already wagged disapproving fingers at the American government over Iraq in general. Nearly all of them failed. Even one of the least dismissed, The Hurt Locker, garnered more awards than ticket sales. Eastwood apparently took notes on Locker‘s approach and, instead of the usual haranguing and politicizing, set his Iraq movie in Iraq without actually making it a Bush-hating Iraq-shaming thinkpiece. To a certain extent it’s not even about Iraq.

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What We Know So Far About Wizard World Indianapolis 2015

Wizard World Indianapolis!The Indianapolis convention season is starting earlier than ever this year, thanks to our first invasion from the forces of Wizard World. As previously reported for MCC readers a while back, this weekend will be the inaugural Wizard World Indianapolis, downtown at the same Indiana Convention Center that’s hosted several successful Gen Cons and three 2014 comics/entertainment conventions of varying degrees of achievement.

Tonight is the night my brain has chosen to shut out all headlines and focus on pre-planning, which is just as well because I have no worthwhile thoughts at the moment on Spider-Man, Brian Williams, or Jon Stewart, except to say if they all joined forces to costar in Ghostbusters 4, I’d totally add that to my Netflix queue and then forget to watch it.

Right this way for plans, guest list, potential issues, and more!

“Sleepy Hollow” 2/9/2015: The Phantom Forefather’s Forbidden Fortress

Sleepy Hollow!

Tonight’s episode has a flashback in which Ichabod Crane acts as Thomas Jefferson’s beta reader for the Declaration of Independence. When you have scenes like that giving Mr. Peabody and Sherman a run for their money, adding funny captions to the proceedings is just gilding the lily, isn’t it?

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: a bitter 17th-century sorcerer tempted Katrina with Dark Side blood magic; the returned Captain Irving acted in cahoots with the fiendish Henry Parrish, who added the Grand Grimoire to his evil book collection; and Our Heroes learned the shocking true story of the Salem Witch Trials that The MAN thought we couldn’t handle.

In tonight’s new episode, “What Lies Beneath”, special guest Steven Weber (Wings, NCIS New Orleans, Studio 60, more more more) brings to life the man, the myth, the legend, the Founding Father, the third President of the United States of America, the one and only Thomas Jefferson. And not just in flashback.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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“Jupiter Ascending”: Today’s Horoscope Says You Were Meant to Rule

Jupiter Ascending!

Mila Kunis takes overlording lessons from Douglas Booth. Formal fashions by Amidala’s of Naboo.

From Lana and Andy Wachowski, the visionary minds behind The Matrix and its optional ancillary products, comes the next wave in old-fashioned space opera, Jupiter Ascending. It’s got a Chosen One, a shirtless A-list actor, rich evil oppressors, sharp-dressed bounty hunters, garbled proper nouns, mad science, spaceship explosions, a dashing hero saving a damsel in distress from certain death, human/animal hybrids, flying lizard-men, the Chicago skyline, toilet bowl cleaning, a commercial for Dark Souls II, and something way better than your musty old Marty McFly hoverboards: alien hoverskates! If you can’t find anything in this movie that speaks to you, that’s why the new Spongebob Squarepants movie also opened this weekend, just in case.

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Yes, There’s a Thing During “The Grand Budapest Hotel” End Credits

Grand Budapest Hotel!

Fans of the Ralph Fiennes catalog may be disappointed The Grand Budapest Hotel doesn’t invite obvious Voldemort jokes. I’m reminded more of The Avengers. No, not Marvel’s.

Representing for first-half-of-the-20th-century world history in this year’s Academy Awards race is The Grand Budapest Hotel, the most Wes Andersoniest Wes Anderson film ever to Wes Anderson a Wes Anderson. Granted, I’ve only seen four of his other films, and this one’s probably a patchwork homage to nineteen different foreign films I’ve never heard of, but if nothing else it sums up all his past trailers and adds nice costuming flourishes and some charming fake backdrops.

Fun meta-trivia: this entry began as the fifth installment in my ongoing “MCC Home Video Scorecard” series, which is where I’ve lately been clustering my impressions of movies seen not in theaters. This time, I lost control and Budapest crowded out the other three movies I’d planned to include here, so now it has an entry all to itself. I saw this as part of my annual Oscarquest, and so far it’s been the cheapest of this year’s contenders to watch. It took some persistence to catch this affordably, as it’s no longer on Redbox and we don’t subscribe to the correct premium-cable channel, but three visits to the Family Video down the street finally paid off in the form of a $1.00 DVD rental. If you’d rather avoid the thrill of the case or if you hate money, you can also spend $13-$16 through the usual instant-streaming outlets, or Amazon has hard copies on sale for ten bucks (DVD and Blu-ray) as of this writing. Depends on whether or not less substance is worth more money to you, I guess.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #15: Under the Dome

Minnesota Capitol Dome!

Day Four’s self-guided morning tour of the grounds of the Minnesota State Capitol would continue inside. We’ve photographed domes in other capitals — Harrisburg, Charleston, Denver, Madison, Hartford (barely), our own in Indianapolis, et al. — but we usually admire them from a distance, on the assumption that the interiors might resemble ordinary cubicles or BMV offices. No one wants to risk seeing that and ruining the patriotic mystique.

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2014 Oscar-Nominated Live-Action Shorts: From Best to Not-Best

The Phone Call!

Sally Hawkins standing by in “The Phone Call”.

Each year since 2009 my wife and I have made a day-long date of visiting Keystone Art Cinema, the only dedicated art-film theater in Indianapolis, to view the big-screen release of the Academy Award nominees for Best Live-Action Short Film and Best Animated Short Film. Results vary each time and aren’t always for all audiences, but we appreciate this opportunity to sample such works and see what the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences deemed worthy of celebrating, whether we agree with their collective opinions or not. To be honest, this year’s live-action contenders were not my favorite lineup.

Presented below are my rankings of this year’s five Live-Action Short Film nominees, from the most effective to the most not-so-much. One or more of these were formerly streaming online for free, then yanked once they were nominated. It’s my understanding they’re available on iTunes or other such services. Links are provided to the official sites or the next most relevant thing I could locate if you’re interested in more info. Enjoy where possible!

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“Sleepy Hollow” 2/2/2015: Salem Witch Trials and Tribulations

Sleepy Hollow!

And men shall call this villain…Power Pilgrim! Colonel Colonial! Professor Puritan! The Thanksgiving Thaumaturge!

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Our Heroes kept Hawley’s vampire godmother from using a Kali statue inappropriately; Crane learned karaoke works better when Abbie picks the songs; the Ford Motor Company revealed their hopes and dreams for your future; and the resurrected Captain Irving emerged from Purgatory but couldn’t see his reflection, which meant four more weeks of evil.

In tonight’s new episode, “Spellcaster”, another Purgatory fugitive teaches us a new kind of magic; Crane goes house-hunting and works on his trash-talk; Irving’s problems make strange bedfellows; Katrina’s witch powers work for a while; and we finally catch up with Henry Parish — slayer of Moloch, a Horseman no more, still a diorama maker extraordinaire.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

…

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The Super Bowl XLIX Movie Spot Roundup

Tomorrowland!

George Clooney and director Brad Bird welcome you to the World of Tomorrow!

Longtime MCC readers know sports aren’t really my thing, and Super Bowl XLIX is no exception. My wife and I spent the evening dining out, trying new foods, and wandering a deserted downtown Indianapolis to our heart’s content with virtually no other humans around. And then I came home and waited patiently for the internet to tell me which new movie spots I missed.

Please join me in sampling the following summer action blockbuster EXPLOSIONS-filled mini-teaser trailers that apparently aired during the Big Game. Leaving out Seth MacFarlane’s Ted 2 (bleah) and the one infamous gargantuan big-budget slashfic adaptation (zero intention of watching a single trailer for it, let alone the movie), the internet notified me of six different contenders that may or may not make zillions this year at the box office:

Right this way for potential movie awesomeness! Plus a very special party-ruining appearance by the Nationwide Kid!

2014 Oscar-Nominated Animated Shorts: From Best to Not-Best

Feast!

Each year since 2009 my wife and I have made a day-long date of visiting Keystone Art Cinema, the only dedicated art-film theater in Indianapolis, to view the big-screen release of the Academy Award nominees for Best Live-Action Short Film and Best Animated Short Film. Results vary each time and aren’t always for all audiences, but we appreciate this opportunity to sample such works and see what the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences deemed worthy of celebrating, whether we agree with their collective opinions or not.

Presented below are my rankings of this year’s five Animated Short Film nominees, from the greatest to the most head-scratching. It’s my understanding all five nominated animated shorts can be viewed on iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, and other similar sources. Links are provided for official sites or the next relevant thing available. Enjoy!

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2014 Road Trip Photos #14: Sitting Here on Capitol Hill

Lindbergh and Flowers!

Staying in a hotel two blocks away from the Minnesota State Capitol made the first half of Day Four easy to plan. We got up, had breakfast, walked across the street, and did tourism. Charles Lindbergh peeking at us over a radiant flowerbed was just the start of our half-day walking tour of St. Paul.

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“The Imitation Game”: Welcome to the Liars’ Club

The Imitation Game!

“This morning’s message simply says, ‘Eight nominations. Love you guys. Take THAT, Selma. XOXOXO Harvey’.”

World War II dramas win awards. Biopics win awards. Unhappy endings win awards. Films released by the Weinstein Company win awards. Films with Benedict Cumberbatch in them get nominations, and maybe the occasional award for the people around him. For now. So why not toss all those ingredients into a moviemaking mixer and watch the resulting casserole win the big awards bake-off?

Thus did my annual Oscarquest continue with The Imitation Game, in which The Cumberbatch takes a break from playing licensed characters to try out a historical figure instead, as he did in The Fifth Estate except farther from the present and without changing hair color this time. If this pays off and kicks off a lifetime of nonstop peer recognition, maybe someday he’ll have half as many nominations as Meryl Streep does. The internet can dream!

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“Sleepy Hollow” 1/26/2015: Haul Out the Hawley

Ford Presents Sleepy Hollow!

Ford’s Theatre presents Sleepy Hollow! Brought to you by Ford, who are slightly less than half Ichabod Crane’s age!

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Ichabod and Katrina Crane tried rekindling their marriage by taking on a homicidal painting; Buffy’s sister Dawn got to wear an old-timey dress; and Captain Frank Irving rose from the dead and back into policy custody.

In tonight’s new episode, “Kali Yuga”: a woman from Hawley’s past convinces him to go on one last heist Or Else; Abbie teaches Crane the joys and the jeopardy of karaoke; Irving has a terrific day, mostly; and the Ford Motor Company lets You, the Viewers at Home, peek inside the all-new Ford Mustang, examine its spacious interiors, gaze upon its 21st-century Broadway-lit dashboard, and marvel at driving the perfect amount of horsepower to run down a Horseman. And the 2015 Mustang, like Crane himself, is BUILT FORD TOUGH. Brought to you by Ford.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

…

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Technically Easy Ceiling Repair for Hopeless Amateurs

Say! You, there!

Has this ever happened to you?

Ceiling Hole!

You’re at home trying to live or rest or hobby or whatever other normal things you do when you’re not working, unless you work from home and every day is an existential struggle over the Duality of Man, and then suddenly one day you realize you have a hole in your ceiling. Sometimes if you’re lucky, you’re present in the room when the hole is punched and you know exactly what to blame and how to swear vengeance properly. Most of the time, it’s a gradual process that may or may not have begun with a water stain that turned malignant. Still other times, you’d swear that hole wasn’t there when you left for work that morning, but now there’s a surprise ceiling hole and an innocent-looking family holding a football with everyone’s fingerprints on it. Whatever the cause, no two ceiling holes are the same, but the heartbreak is universal.

If you’re a renter, ceiling hole repair is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Call landlord.
2. Complain about hole.
3. Watch your stories till hole is gone.

If you’re a homeowner with a home-improvement skill set, it’s not so simple, but you’ve probably got it covered. If you’re a homeowner without a clue like me, it’s a conscientious burden, it’s a drain on your heating bills, it’s an eyesore that has to be hidden from guests, and it might as well be a geotechnical engineering project for all you know. What do you do?

There’s the highway (i.e., abandon the house)…or my way.

Here’s what I did in too many embarrassing steps!

2014 Road Trip Photos #13: Parks & Ruination

Mill Ruins Park!

No, this image is not an exclusive sneak peek at the surely jaw-dropping graphics from the upcoming Uncharted 4. Along the west bank of the Mississippi River in downtown Minneapolis, Mill Ruins Park is a quiet, disfigured little spot where foliage meets wreckage.

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Best CDs of 2014, According to an Old Guy Who Bought Ten

Sonic Highways!

The Foo Fighters’ Sonic Highways was far from my favorite album, but its eight-city metropolitan hodgepodge was definitely my favorite album cover.

It’s that time of year again! Even though my musical tastes don’t match anyone geographically near me, aren’t becoming any more stylish as I age, sometimes don’t fit well with my faith, and are increasingly leaning toward a uniform power-pop pageant, I do still like owning physical albums with all-new songs recorded and sequenced by the artists. I prefer CDs while driving because I can pop them in and out of the player with sufficient dexterity and without crashing, because local commercial radio enjoys being terrible, and because, last time I checked, the pre-installed satellite radio won’t accept monthly payments. And any digital music I accumulate tends to sit on my hard drive ignored and/or forgotten

(For more about that segment, I refer you to my thoughts on U2’s free Songs of Innocence, as previously discussed.)

The following list, then, comprises every CD I acquired in 2014 that was also released in 2014. Back-catalog materials are forbidden from inclusion, though for what it’s worth Mike Doughty’s 2011 album Yes and Also Yes deserved to be bought much sooner.

Right this way for lots of, well, white-guy rock!

Top 10 Best Parts of Tonight’s State of the Union Address

SOTU 2015!

President Barack Obama delivered tonight’s State of the Union address with a cartoon angel and devil at either shoulder.

From the Home Office in Indianapolis, Indiana:

10. Biden blinking in Morse code “BIDEN/BEYONCE 2016”
9. One lone applauding Republican getting tased by the Senator next to him
8. A frustrated John Boehner wishing his bottled rage could turn him into Red Hulk
7. Ambassadors from Iran and Cuba giving each other cutesy quizzical Jim-and-Pam looks
6. Three-minute ovation every time Obama took a selfie
5. Special guest Sidney Poitier awarding nine honorary Oscars to Selma
4. Anointing of Anita Sarkeesian as head of newly formed Department of Gamer Tolerance
3. Preview footage from The Force Awakens in which Jedi Knight Obama and John Boyega fight Imperial ninjatroopers
2. Sheepish apology for preempting Marvel’s Agent Carter

And the number one Best Part of Tonight’s State of the Union Address:

1. Scene after the end credits: all-Democrat conga line while speakers blare “Everything is Awesome!!!”

“Sleepy Hollow” 1/19/2015: The Art is a Lonely Hunter

James Colby!

Portrait of the artist who’s out to get you.

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: an angel came to Sleepy Hollow, not with glad tidings from the Lord, but with a wish for the power of Death. So then that didn’t come to pass and we may or may not see the angel Orion again, because Fox execs recently revealed they’re actively tinkering with the show, taking a break from the ongoing apocalypse storyline for a while in favor of more done-in-one monster-of-the-week episodes, like what we used to see on Fringe or Smallville. If they keep focusing on evil-artifacts-of-the-week plots, I’d also toss in the long-forgotten Friday the 13th syndicated series, since that was the show’s exact premise.

In tonight’s new episode, “Pittura Infamante”: Ichabod and Katrina go on their first date since her return from Purgatory; Captain Irving’s return raises questions; special guest Michelle Trachtenberg (Buffy’s sister Dawn) appears in flashbacks as second First Lady Abigail Adams; and the Monster of the Week is a work of art best described as…cutting-edge! (Cue Crypt-Keeper laugh.)

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

…

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2014 Road Trip Photos #12: Urban Serenity Along the Mississippi

St Anthony Falls!

St Anthony Falls, on the Mississippi River in north Minneapolis.

So far on Day Three of our road trip, we’d spent the early morning at the Mall of America and the early afternoon touring the stabilized ruins of a twice-gutted flour mill. For the late afternoon, we took a different direction and headed outdoors for a walk along the banks of the Mississippi River. Behind and around the Mill City Museum lies some refreshing spots of natural scenery and a chance for rather welcome serenity.

Gold Medal Park!

The singular hill in the center of Gold Medal Park, a couple blocks down from the Mill City Museum.

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The 87th Oscars Nominations: Initial Random Thoughts and Lists

Selma!

The long march from Selma to the Dolby Theatre was stopped cold in its tracks by a fabulous year in white cinema.

The Academy Award nominations are in! But you already knew that. Like 99% of America, you likely haven’t seen too many of the nominees yet. The complete list is available in myriad locations (here’s the example I’ve been using for reference), so I don’t see a point in wasting time or space copying, pasting, and reformatting all that off someone else’s site. The nice thing about running my own site is I have no high-pressure word-count quotas to meet.

I’ve seen and written about three of the nominees so far — Birdman, Boyhood, and Selma — all of which I super-liked, all of which I wish could win all the prizes, one of which was dealt a far crappier hand than the other two by the elderly white voting majority of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Perhaps Selma‘s most egregious error was in failing to better balance the dual celebrations of black and white nobility like The Help did. Who can say.

The following lists and other thoughts popped into my head throughout the day while I mulled over this year’s honorees:

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