From Lana and Andy Wachowski, the visionary minds behind The Matrix and its optional ancillary products, comes the next wave in old-fashioned space opera, Jupiter Ascending. It’s got a Chosen One, a shirtless A-list actor, rich evil oppressors, sharp-dressed bounty hunters, garbled proper nouns, mad science, spaceship explosions, a dashing hero saving a damsel in distress from certain death, human/animal hybrids, flying lizard-men, the Chicago skyline, toilet bowl cleaning, a commercial for Dark Souls II, and something way better than your musty old Marty McFly hoverboards: alien hoverskates! If you can’t find anything in this movie that speaks to you, that’s why the new Spongebob Squarepants movie also opened this weekend, just in case.
Tag Archives: Channing Tatum
“GI Joe: Retaliation”: a Big-Budget, Old-Fashioned Military Cartoon

Once again our old friend the White House is humiliated, this time in G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
“White House Down” Trailer: Starring the Jean Grey of American Landmarks
We saw the White House blow up in Independence Day. We saw it blow up again in 2012. As I type this it’s being blown up yet again in theaters in Olympus Has Fallen. Add your own memories here of the White House’s repetitive history of exploding again and again and again at the movies, whether at the hands of terrorists, invaders, or bad weather.
Now add one more death scene to the list, as director Roland Emmerich, the White House’s arch-nemesis, has directed yet another film in which the poor, beleaguered establishment takes a discouraging beating for entertainment’s sake. In the trailer for Emmerich’s new film White House Down, the President’s workspace is targeted neither by aliens nor by Mother Nature. This time the bombs are coming from inside the country: