Even though I thought Stephen Sommers’ G.I. Joe: the Rise of Cobra was a handful of loopy action scenes stitched together into summer action filler that bore no resemblance to the Joe I knew from childhood, I decided to give its sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation a chance anyway, in case it had any worth as a “popcorn flick”. In the end, I found myself left with a lot of unpopped kernels.

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