Our 2017 Super Bowl Deserted Restaurant Getaway

Picanha!

Picanha, a.k.a. garlic sirloin, one of Anne’s favorite bites of the night.

Each year my wife Anne and I have indulged our own special Super Bowl tradition: while the rest of the world is watching football and swapping snacks and beers with best friends and chatting about The Sports, the two of us have dinner at a fancy restaurant we’ve never tried before. Between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m., anyplace without a large-screen TV is usually deserted and totally ours for the taking.

The last few years have also seen Super Bowl Sunday coincide with a local event called Devour Downtown, in which dozens of upscale establishments in downtown Indianapolis offer a limited-time sort of blue-plate special that allows plebes like us to come in and sample their cuisine from a specially selected discount menu. It’s still a bit pricier than five-dollar footlongs, but in our experience the quality has always been immeasurably higher, no matter where we’ve gone. This year the event was merged with several others of its kind, expanded citywide, and renamed Devour Indy. We ended up heading downtown anyway, but it’s nice to know we’ll have more compass options in the years ahead.

Tonight’s feature presentation: Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian steakhouse with over two dozen American locations in addition to their flagships back home. For one solid price that was more than we would ever dream of paying for non-special occasions, their Devour Indy special offered a buffet of fancy unlimited appetizers, while the waiters approached every table with a few unlimited side dishes and numerous small yet unlimited meat portions all prepared in the Brazilian way, by which I mean they were made of meat. Good enough for us.

Continue reading

Cooking with Alex Guarnaschelli at Indy’s 2nd Fantastic Food Fest

Alex Guarnaschelli!

True story: Chef Alex is the first person we’ve ever met at a show who mentioned jazz hands in a Q&A before we even had the chance to ask.

Last year my wife Anne and I had the pleasure of attending the inaugural Fantastic Food Fest at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, planned by its creators at Circle City Expos as an annual event bringing together the best and brightest providers from numerous restaurants, markets, farms, caterers, bakeries, and other tremendous sources of locally sourced ingredients and cuisine under one roof for foodies to gather and escape winter doldrums. Year One’s big show brought in a headliner we loved to meet, Chopped host and hometown hero Ted Allen. If the show was successful, we figured we’d return regardless of the guest list.

As Chopped fans, we weren’t disappointed. Year 2 brought in a related special guest all the way from New York City, Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli, the Chopped judge most likely to deliver a ruling composed entirely of clever metaphors. Alex summed up the order of the day as she opened her 1:30 cooking demo: “It’s time to eat and cook and forget about a whole lotta other things for a while.”

Right this way for a photo gallery of amazing colossal foodstuffs!

Sweet Anticipation of Goodies to Come

cookie mix!

Courtesy of my workplace, I came home today after a long, draining week bearing a glass jar of merry Christmas benevolence. Some assembly required.

Continue reading

Cincinnati 2016 Overnighter Photos, Part 6 of 6

Cincinnati!

Our hotel room’s view of downtown Cincinnati high above the nightlife.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s convention time yet again! This weekend my wife Anne and I have driven two hours southeast of Indianapolis to attend a show we’ve never done before, the seventh annual Cincinnati Comic Expo. With her birthday coming up in a few weeks, which usually means a one-day road trip somewhere, we agreed this would count as her early celebration.

Growing up in Indiana, we Hoosiers rarely had reasons to visit next-door Ohio until and unless it was time for another one-day family road trip to Kings Island Amusement Park, a few miles north of Cincinnati. If you believe the movie Anomalisa, the only two reasons to visit Cincinnati itself are the Cincinnati Zoo and Skyline Chili. After we wrapped up our Cincinnati Comic Expo experience, we did none of those things and found a few reasons not to be bored anyway.

Continue reading

2016 NYC Trip Photos #28: The Last Manhattan Mealtimes

Junior's pastry!

Mini-pastry appetizer at Junior’s, one of the better experiences from the second half of our week.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

On our vacations the meals trend in the same direction throughout our week: at first tentative while we’re exploring new territory. After a day or two we’re emboldened enough to experiment with places more imaginative or just more expensive. After peaking midweek with the greatest meals of the year, our dinners then begin to descend in either quality or excitement level as we reach the far end of our budget and tap into our last reserves of energy just to finish out the trip. We try to keep finding gems among the dross, whether the results impress our friends back home or not.

Continue reading

Special Holiday Clearance Giveaways with Love

Meat Donations!

If you’re viewing this photo gallery from a comfy living space on a full stomach, these discount meats probably aren’t meant for you.

Continue reading

2016 NYC Trip Photos #19: Ultimate Manhattan Mealtime

Grill!

If you’ve ever gone to Benihana but resented those showy chefs as superfluous middlemen in your tableside cooking experience, have we got a restaurant for you.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

Visiting two museums along Manhattan’s Museum Mile seemed insufficient, but we’d already seen the Metropolitan Museum of Art on our 2011 trip, and we were running out of time. We had restaurant reservations at the end of Day Four that would prove to be the best meal we’ve ever had in New York City, possibly a contender for Top 5 Meals of All Time.

Continue reading

When Forgotten Foods Transmogrify into Frights

dark oats!

When I opened the lid on the oatmeal box, I stared long and hard, trying to make sense of what I saw. With a creeping sense of horror I realized I’d found exactly what I was looking for.

Continue reading

2016 NYC Trip Photos #12: Manhattan Mealtimes II

Cake boss cakes!

Sweet, sweet New York City cakes by way of New Jersey. As Seen on TV!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

Day Three in Manhattan brought us more interesting adventures in the fabulous field of food — twice in Times Square, twice in Chinatown. One was a recommendation, but the rest were discoveries on the go, this time with no flawed assistance from Google Maps.

Continue reading

2016 NYC Trip Photos #7: Manhattan Mealtimes

Halal Carts!

Our Day Two lunchtime architect panicked at the idea of being on camera, but graciously invited us to photograph his workspace where the magic happens.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

Upon our return to Manhattan we hoped for interesting adventures in the fabulous field of food. Results varied more than we expected as we did our best to accommodate all tastes and hopes within our little trio — sometimes venturing into businesses unknown, occasionally settling for familiar logos for the sake of party unity. We learned that independent ownership is no guarantee of a successful meal, nor is corporate franchising presumptive of automatic culinary failure.

Continue reading

2016 NYC Trip Photos #2: The Kitchen and the Kitchen

Cesar Chavez Quote!

…and the people who charge you for their food would rather things stay “just business” between you. Nothing personal, of course . It’s not you, it’s them.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

Our hotel of choice for the week was on West 44th Street, squished between larger buildings, on the east edge of the notorious Hell’s Kitchen. On Netflix’s Marvel’s Daredevil it’s a crime-infested urban blight magnet that muggers, robbers, and gangsters of various ethnicities wage war on each other for control because everyone among them knows Hell’s Kitchen is the place to be when you’re on the negative end of the Dungeons & Dragons alignment scale. You never see gangs taking over the shiny, upscale neighborhoods that would be a better fit for their expensive cars and even more expensive suits. The Triads and the Black Stereotypes and the Irishmen of Irishness never claim the Upper West Side as their turf or hold their knife fights in front of those fancy Madison Avenue stores.

Continue reading

Indy Food Trucks Turn Every Summer Transcendental (Part 5 of 3)

El Venezolano!

El Venezolano is one of many Indianapolis food trucks proving there’s more to streetside food than just Mexican tacos. For example: artisan super-tacos from Not-Mexico.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: when we launched four years ago, one of our first miniseries was an ongoing look at the then-burgeoning food truck craze that was sweeping downtown Indianapolis, improving quality of life and giving me viable lunch options besides middling pizza and Subway. (Past entries were here, here, here, and here, though I know a few of those trucks have left the road since then.) The reviews stopped when all that food-truck food exceeded my restricted work-lunch budget, and when they stopped showing up within convenient walking distance.

This summer my wife and I attended multiple events here in town, which we’ve talked about here at length over the past four months. Food trucks showed up to save us on most of these occasions, but I withheld their pics for some future, separate group gallery rather than sandwiching them between photos of parade floats and cosplayers. I was planning to share these within the next two weeks anyway, but with the politically endearing hashtag #tacostrucksoneverycorner now justly trending on Twitter, now’s as good a time as any to catch the mobile-foodie wave, especially since Labor Day is coming up and your fall wardrobe and your precious pumpkin-spiced everything may clash with a few of these.

Right this way for great moments in summer 2016 food trucks!

Fabulous Frothy Fatty Frolicky Friday Fun with a Fondue Fountain

Fondue!

Pictured above is the star attraction from our most recent pitch-in at work: a fondue fountain filled with rich, creamy, sinful chocolate. This enchanting appliance belongs to a kindly grandmother on my team who decided to spoil us with its presence, which made for a celebratory change of pace from the doldrums of day-old grocery donuts, lookalike veggie trays, and a thousand bags of unopened chips. Not one person was the kind of killjoy to complain that this setup had virtually no connection to the “Mexican” theme we’d voted on for the pitch-in.

Continue reading

Indiana State Fair 2016 Photos #1: Our Year in Food

Double Barrel Burger!

We called it the “Goodbye Cruel World Burger”.

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians that other people love, and farm animals competing for cash prizes and herd bragging rights. My wife and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context. At least 70% of our quest is always food.

Right this way for a look at this year’s “Taste of the Fair” contestants!

Not Put Asunder, 12 Years and Counting

Midlife Crisis Crossover!

The writer with his primary collaborator, his #1 fan, and his most vocal fact-checker.

Usually we’re out of town on one of our road trips when our anniversary passes, but today was the first time in years that we were in-state for the occasion. We appreciate the inventors of the calendar finally working out the timing in our favor. It was nice to mark the occasion with a nice meal and greeting cards exchanged on our own turf for a change.

Continue reading

If We Were Having Strawberry Shortcake…

Strawberry Shortcake!

Shortbread biscuit, big scoop of vanilla ice cream, generous serving of strawberries drenched in juice that spilled onto both hands and one shoe, and dollop of whipped cream that the top of the box flattened and made slightly less photogenic. This seven-dollar fundraiser dessert was fine by me.

I realize the popular thing for bloggers looking to commiserate with other bloggers is to participate in the popular #WeekendCoffeeShare, in which everyone pretends they’re drinking coffee while rambling about personal goings-on and this interaction eventually translates into superstar writing careers for one and all. I’ve never tried it because I’m not great at blogging according to a calendar (mine or anyone else’s), it’s established fact that I’m terrible at networking and will therefore toil in obscurity till I die satisfied with my choices, I never go to the kind of coffeehouses that serve coffee worth photographing, and I tend to avoid topics that would necessitate resorting to stock photos unless my brain refuses to let such a topic go. But I have new photos from a special occasion today, and a busy night ahead of me before an even busier weekend after that, so I ask your forgiveness for stream-of-consciousness multitasking a smidge outside the box.

Right this way for Indy outdoor photos plus rambling!

Big Burgers and Other Bites at My Birthday Bonanza

New Jack City!

This boy’s big ballyhooed birthday burger banquet at The B Spot.

My wife and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our respective birthdays together traveling to some new place or attraction as a one-day road trip — partly as an excuse to spend time together on those most wondrous days, partly to explore areas of Indiana we’ve never experienced before. My 2016 birthday destination of choice: the northern Indiana city of Elkhart, with a bonus stopover in South Bend, both some 100+ miles north of here. Elkhart was regrettably cut a little short because the weather was miserable and tried to freeze us in our tracks, but we had enough fun to fill out another four-part miniseries starring a candy factory tour, a super-hero roadside attraction, and a selection of the “art” in Elkhart. Also, food.

Part Four of Four: that food! It wouldn’t have been my birthday without it. Only one of our three meals was in Elkhart, and it wasn’t a full meal, but I do hope you’ll forgive the aging birthday guy his occasional off-topic digressions. I hear it’ll get worse as I get older.

Right this way for random acts of meat!

Spare the Cupcakes, Spoil the Student

Mini-Cupcakes!

My mom’s final day of employment is May 31st, but her retirement party was this afternoon, because who wants to party the day after Memorial Day? Granted, several coworkers took today off to lengthen their three-day weekend and technically voted against partying in a sense — or at least partying with us — but we could only push the date back so far. Preceding the party was a prodigious lunch pitch-in with a spread that included spaghetti, chicken fingers, BBQ meatballs, two pasta salads, one actual salad, macaroni ‘n’ cheese, scalloped potatoes, one hundred bags of potato chips, an assortment of grocery bakery department desserts, and my own acclaimed, freshly baked brownies. The interdepartmental team effort treated Mom like a queen.

Unfortunately that noontime feast left most of the retirement party guests with no appetite later. We expected a certain catering surplus, but still overestimated our needs. Our simple refreshments comprised one bowl of mandatory weird fruit soda hybrid punch and four dozen mini-cupcakes. By the end of the shindig the punch was gone, but we had three dozen mini-cupcakes to spare.

Right this way for just two more paragraphs!

Hot Latte and the Chocolate Factory

Dark Chocolates!

One quarter-pound of Double Dark Truffles garnished by two dark-chocolate-covered Oreos. Yep, I’ve reached that advanced age when dark chocolate begins tasting better than milk chocolate.

My wife and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our respective birthdays together traveling to some new place or attraction as a one-day road trip — partly as an excuse to spend time together on those most wondrous days, partly to explore areas of Indiana we’ve never experienced before. My 2016 birthday destination of choice: the northern Indiana city of Elkhart, with a bonus stopover in South Bend, both some 100+ miles north of here. Elkhart was regrettably cut a little short because the weather was miserable and tried to freeze us in our tracks, but we had enough fun to fill out another four-part miniseries starring a candy factory tour, a super-hero roadside attraction, and a selection of the “art” in Elkhart. Also, food.

Part One of Four: a tour through a chocolate factory, conducted without a single child casualty. It can be done, Mr. Wonka, you demented jerk.

Right this way for the tour, the machines, and the chocolate!

Birthday 44: A Festival of Food, Flavor, and Fire

Opa!

Now THAT is a birthday candle. Why spend an hour lighting forty-four individual wax sticks when you can just set a piece of cheese on fire for twice the lumens and three times the wow factor?

It’s that time of year again! As of today I’m now 44 years old, not dead yet, and still not entering true Midlife Crisis mode with a fancy sports car or a mistress my son’s age. I’m fine with skipping that phase if everyone else is cool with it.

Most of my birthday was frittered away at work, serving others and digging into spreadsheets and doubling my caffeine intake so I could stay awake enough to get to the good parts of the day, while keeping myself too busy to ponder mortality or dwell on the never-ending internal debate over whether I’m truly applying myself toward fulfilling my life’s true purpose(s) here on this imperfect ball of dirt, dust, and Drumpf.

I continued tabling that potential pontification after work and went out to dinner at a promising restaurant that recently opened on our side of Indianapolis. Whenever a nice restaurant opens within five miles of our house, that’s reason enough for us to celebrate, birthday or no birthday.

Right this way for our big fat Greek dinner!