Day Eight of our nine-day road trip continue in Cleveland due southeast from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in the kind of neighborhood that wouldn’t normally attract tourists if there weren’t some kind of major draw. As fate would have it, in 1938 a pair of young men named Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster would put their heads together to create an intellectual property (years before the term became commonplace and meaningful) that would bend pop culture into new shapes and change the course of entertainment history.
How I’ve Spent Too Much of This Winter
(In our family my wife’s usually in charge of selfies, but since WordPress asked nicely, I figured one indulgence couldn’t hurt.)
Of all the fruits of the spirit, patience has been more of a struggle for me in recent weeks than any other.
“Philomena”: Penance, Piety, and Parenthood Postponed

The Academy Awards aren’t complete without at least one token high-caliber British nominee on the Best Picture shortlist. Leave it to director Stephen Frears (whose past nominees include The Queen and Dangerous Liaisons) to fit the bill this year with a transatlantic odd-couple quest for reconnection or closure, for truth or justice, and for fury or forgiveness.
Snowfall Burnout
Next person caught singing “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” gets mugged.
Box Office Beyond Borders II: What 2013 Movies Did Other Countries Enjoy More Than We Did?

Outside America, Pacific Rim‘s Cherno Alpha is the Boba Fett of a new generation.
Last year around this time, I asked a question aloud to no one in particular: if we know the highest-grossing movies at the American box office each year, and we know the highest-grossing movies worldwide at all box offices, which movies were the year’s winners if we subtract America’s dollars? What were the rest of Planet Earth’s favorite popcorn flicks?
2013 Road Trip Photos #29: Rock ‘n’ Roll, Never Forgotten
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: pics from our visit to the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame Museum in scenic, underrated Cleveland. Last time I shared the items and exhibits that struck the deepest chords for me. This time: the general-audience objects that also caught our attention.
For example: FLYING DEATH CARS FROM ABOVE! Stage props from U2’s ’92-’93 Zoo TV tour.
The Super Bowl XLVIII Movie Trailer Explosion Roundup
I’d rather not spend my evening typing a thousand words that no one will read because they’re drunk, hung over, or avoiding the internet’s two-pronged takeover by Super Bowl XLVIII and #EsuranceSave30. (If you don’t know what that is, you probably don’t want to know. You have to be a greedy resident of the continental U.S., a registered Twitter user, and not opposed to irritating the heck out of all your followers for the chance to win bucks. I’d rather not perpetuate that, beyond what damage I’ve already done there for purely comedic purposes.)
To that end, please enjoy the following summer action blockbuster EXPLOSIONS-filled trailers that either aired during the Big Game, or had tiny teasers aired for them during the Big Game that directed fans to jump online for the full-length extravaganza. (Compatibility warning: if these aren’t cleared for viewing outside the U.S. or on smartphones, my sincerest apologies. Hopefully a quick search would turn them up at other locations.)
Leaving out Seth MacFarlane’s A Million Ways to Die in the West, the internet notified me of four viable specimens that may or may not make zillions this year at the box office. Enjoy!
1. 30-second teaser for Transformers: Age of Extinction, in which Mark Wahlberg has replaced Shia LeBeouf as the guy who runs away from killer robots. But the image of Autobots riding Dinobots will rule the hearts and minds of fans for the next two days.
Top 10 Signs “Puppy Bowl” Has Jumped the Shark

Blatant corporate sponsorship is the least of Puppy Bowl’s worries.
At least, it was.
“Her”: the Trouble with Mixed-Sentience Couples

If an entire crowd is engaging their Bluetooths and ignoring their surroundings, are they still a crowd?
“Revolution” 1/29/2014 (spoilers): The Fight Club Job

Humanity’s lived for fifteen years without electric guitars, CD players, or iTunes, and yet hair metal refuses to die.
“Nebraska”: If I Had $1,000,000…
Alexander Payne’s new film Nebraska perfectly replicates that forlorn Midwest sensation of being trapped in rooms with hordes of impressionable, elderly relatives all living on the same slow-motion wavelength, visiting and reminiscing and comparing their amnesia levels and enjoying life’s remaining minutes at the speed of molasses, except when they’re jumping to conclusions at hyperspeed. When that happens to me, I put on a brave front while suppressing the desperate urge to crawl out of my skin. With SNL’s Will Forte acting as my proxy and reenacting my childhood family vacations so vividly, I’m surprised I didn’t convulse in my seat with flashbacks.
2013 Road Trip Photos #28: More to Rock-‘n’-Roll Than Elvis and the Beatles
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: on Day Eight we woke up in Cleveland on purpose. Not many vacationers will lead a story off with that confession. This wasn’t like our last time in Cleveland, an ill-fated day in 2004 when we ended up trapped there for several hours, having been clobbered by a sneaky one-two punch of alternator failure and overturned semi. No, this time I wanted to be in Cleveland all day long. We had a to-do list of geek stops and I meant to assay every last one of them.
Our second stop of the day has a high-ranking item on my modest bucket list for years: the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum, ruling majestically from the coast of Lake Erie. I’ll be honest: its six-hour distance from home wasn’t the only reason I’d procrastinated a visit. I was afraid the whole place will be one massive, nostalgic, retrograde tribute to old acts from thirty or forty years ago, just like the average Grammys ceremony. I was honestly surprised at the breadth of musical acts honored inside these randomly shaped walls.
Yes, There’s a Message After the “Dallas Buyers Club” End Credits
Older fans of Matthew McConaughey’s spate of ’90s romantic comedies may be in for a shock when they walk into Dallas Buyers Club and see him playing Christian Bale’s character from The Machinist. He and costar Jared Leto (both radically transformed and up for Oscars this year) underwent severe weight loss for their roles in this based-on-a-true-story underdog drama that’s one part can’t-we-all-just-get-along and four parts sticking-it-to-The-MAN.
Because Not Every Movie Should Be Turned into Joyless Homework
Movies are fun to look at, even when they’re boxed up and stacked on shelves. I enjoy writing down my thoughts about them — whether inspired or incredulous, amazed or aggravated — before too much time passes and the details vanish (if not the entire movie, in some cases). But I’ve grown to despise my self-imposed assignments of constructing an English-class essay every time I come home from the theater.
When something that’s supposed to be fun isn’t, then something needs to be done differently to rediscover the fun in it.
21 Movie Headlines That Don’t Belong on a Front Page

Fun trivia: Googling “Joe Don Baker Mitchell remake” yields negative-3,000 results.
I can think of numerous examples off the top of my head for most steps of the filmmaking process and marketing campaign. To illustrate my apathy, let me walk you through the vantage point of internet news outlets — not official sources such as The Hollywood Reporter, Variety, or Nikki Finke, but the other guys. Pretty much all the other guys.
For the sake of argument, let’s pretend the following examples revolve around a remake of the 1975 police drama Mitchell, which starred Joe Don Baker as Oscar Madison from The Odd Couple, plus a gun, minus friends. Let’s pretend we’re in a near-future dystopia in which Hollywood used up its first 5,000 ideas and the only things standing between us and the bottom of the barrel are Mitchell and The Snorks. And James Cameron already has plans for the Snorks.
“Revolution” 1/22/2014 (spoilers): It’s Not Lupus

One of the tense researching scenes from tonight’s CSI: Willoughby.
I’d much rather rattle on about that etymology chain than cover tonight’s main story about the town of Willoughby suffering from the heartbreak of widespread typhus. As I previously complained when it was Sleepy Hollow‘s turn to use the epidemic plot device back in October, “Diseases can be a really dull antagonist.”
Empty Nest Update #3: Handling Our First School Shooting

For Andrew Boldt and family. Our prayers and thoughts are with them tonight.
Today during the course of one of our usual workday back-‘n’-forth email volleys, I thought it odd when my wife sent me another, separate email with a new title: “Purdue Shooting”. She knew she’d have my full attention.
Within the same minute that I opened her email, my son the Purdue freshman texted me. In case I heard about a shooting at Purdue, he wrote, he wanted me to know he was fine, even though he’d been in the same building where and when the shooting occurred.
That disrupted my concentration for a while.
“Sleepy Hollow” 1/20/2014 (spoilers): All Roads Lead to War

As soon as the finale was over, rest assured Jenny Mills was on the internet within minutes, registering her incredulity throughout the world.
2013 Road Trip Photos #26: the House That Vitameatavegamin Built
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
We spent the late afternoon some 220 miles westward in Jamestown, birthplace of a certain funny redhead that brightened your grandparents’ lives. She used to be in all the papers.
The centerpiece of Lucy tourism is kept downtown in a dual storefront. One half recalls the production company Lucy created with her first husband, actor/musician/bandleader Desi Arnaz..
…and the other half of that storefront is the Lucy Desi Museum, devoted to souvenirs from the lives of TV’s original wacky couple, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. Inside these walls lies a veritable cavalcade of whimsy and wonder and all the Lucy gift-shop merchandise you can carry home in your long, long trailer.
Like a Bubble in a Snowstorm

Photo by my wife, who was nice enough not to call me crazy to my face during our windblown photo shoot.
With the right combination of persistence and timing, your Sisyphean efforts will produce a few shimmering, fragile globes, floating in the narrow space between obstacles. For scant seconds, you can enjoy your tiny, beautiful creation and derive a little joy from it.






