Stranded 40 Feet from Home

My car, stuck at the foot of our stupid driveway.

Cold day. Cold irony.

This week the teeming cloud hordes of Old Man Winter barreled across the American skies and bludgeoned entire states and regions into total pandemonium. Blizzards dumped heavy swaths all around as if half the United States were now honorary Minnesotas. Schools and other community activities that had opened their doors to welcome COVID-19 and its carriers reneged and locked their doors. Power grids failed. Water pipes seized up. Numerous utility companies faced wrathful accountability for their shortsightedness, for skimping on precautionary upgrades, and for being smug greed-heads. Homes became inhospitable and even dangerous, forcing families to seek shelter, charity, and survival elsewhere. The turmoil dragged on for hours and days even after the snowfall ceasefire. Millions of internet users distracted themselves by logging onto their devices by candlelight, their batteries down to 15% or less, and channeling their unchecked rage into scathing verbal attacks on the Zodiac Killer. This week was like 2020 all over again, much like all the 2021 weeks that preceded it, but, like, somehow in its own way even 2020-ier.

Me? I got my car stuck at the end of our driveway.

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I Remember When Winter Was Charming Once

Thanks to unseasonably warmer temperatures this week and a raging thunderstorm last night, the feet of snow that we accumulated over the last several weeks have now been effectively disintegrated. The only remaining clues that anything happened are the new, deadly craters on my commute and the enormous puddles drowning everyone’s lawns. Looking out my window, you’d think we relocated to the Black Lagoon.

Winter isn’t always our wicked nemesis. Back in the days before “polar vortex” became a thing and public schools were open for business five full days per week, sometimes winter could be enchanting. Ah, distant memories.

My wondrous wife, walking in a winter wonderland.

Flashback: January 2009…

How I’ve Spent Too Much of This Winter

old man selfie

(In our family my wife’s usually in charge of selfies, but since WordPress asked nicely, I figured one indulgence couldn’t hurt.)

Of all the fruits of the spirit, patience has been more of a struggle for me in recent weeks than any other.

Yey winter driving…

Snowfall Burnout

Snowpocalypse 2014, Indiana

Next person caught singing “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” gets mugged.

Snowpocalypse 2014 continues to overstay its welcome…

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