Your opinions about The Way Chili Should Be will vary. All I can tell you is my wife and son are fans of this version.

This is not now, nor will it ever be, a home cooking blog. I don’t mind cobbling together the occasional recipe, but I rarely have the patience or attention span to work with the kind of recipe that requires twenty-plus ingredients, some of which I can’t pronounce. Also, my wife does most of the cooking because she works less overtime than I do. In those select moments when I’m motivated and free to cook, three dishes are requested more often than any other. They’re not complicated compared to the average recipe, they’re not fancy, and they’re definitely not healthy, but they’re each a part of simple old me.

Please note: many of you are much better cooks than I am. Many of you will and should turn your nose up at these because of your vastly superior culinary skills. I’m not mocking you; I’m acknowledging your advanced knowledge in this field with utmost sincerity. I was in the fast-food industry for twelve years and developed above-average skills suitable for a fast-paced mass-production grill area, but that career path dead-ended thirteen years ago. Since that time, I’ve done the best I can with the fading talents, remaining free time, and affordable ingredients allotted to me.

(If you want to see me cooking something truly terrible, I’d be happy to share the nightmare fodder from several low-carb cookbooks I resorted to during my 2004-2005 diet. You haven’t known gastronomic misery until you’ve had a sugar-free dessert baked in a crust made from vanilla whey protein powder.)

This way for the secrets of my kitchen! What few there are!