Can We Count My New PS3 Toward My Obligatory Midlife Crisis?

Bioshock!

Here I come to save the day in a cruddy pic from this afternoon’s Bioshock session.

For a blog with “midlife crisis” in the title, it may seem odd that I don’t discuss the concept much. Other than the casual references in my About page, my only direct treatment of the subject was in an entry from MCC’s first month, before I had readers or any clear idea where this site would be going.

The short version of that old entry: I think I’m okay on the midlife crisis front. So far, no urge to go splurge on a flashy sports car whose insurance payments, speeding tickets, and designer gas requirements would devastate me. No desire to go prowling for an under-25 replacement wife that I’d disappoint on multiple levels. No fleeting whims to quit the day job that makes this entire long-term experiment possible. No chance of drastic fashion overhaul, hair implants, or radical blubberectomy. And, thankfully, no therapy sessions scheduled to scrutinize a burdensome lack of Happy.

Yet, anyway.

But there was one item I picked up on Black Friday 2014 that I’m hoping will be the one big unplanned expenditure to fully sublimate any such lingering, as-yet-imperceptible, subconscious urges to escape reality or to revisit those bygone days of youthful vim and vigor: a used PS3.

Continue reading

The MCC Christmas Archive 2014!

Christmas with Morgan Freeman

Submitted for your re-approval: the third annual MCC imaginary reading of A Charlie Brown Christmas‘ version of the Christmas story by Not Morgan Freeman. (Freeman photo credit: CynSimp via photopin cc)

By the time many of you glance at this, the Christmas season will be over and your internet contributions for the rest of the year will consist mostly of blocking former loved ones on Facebook and brainstorming New Year’s resolutions that were made to be broken. For anyone who wants to prolong the magic, the following guide to recommended Midlife Crisis Crossover Christmas entries from 2013 and 2014 is provided here as a value-added holiday gift for anyone who’s been too busy for reading this month, for longtime MCC readers who love themed compilations, for those who forgot what last year was like, or for incorrigible MCC spammers who need new pages to infiltrate. For new readers who joined us in 2014, last year’s MCC Christmas archive should bring you up to date on what you missed from MCC Year One, and provides glimpses into what ideas I might be tempted to recycle in 2015.

Enjoy! And if I don’t see you tonight or tomorrow: Merry Christmas!

Frosty the Snowman!

* “My Super Awesome ‘Frosty the Snowman’ Reboot Pitch” — If you click on just one of these entries, let it be my outline for a thirteen-episode Frosty series reboot called Snowman, which totally deserves a mid-season slot on The CW, or maybe Esquire TV. My favorite thing I’ve done all month, possibly one of my five favorite 2014 entries in terms of sheer writing joy.

Continue reading

Procrastination Bites (MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #23-26)

State of Affairs!

No need to fret, Ms. Heigl. Grey’s Anatomy can’t hurt you anymore.

Bloggers love writing prompts. Toss them a random topic, see what they can do with it, cross your fingers and wish them the best on their mental exercise. I don’t mind them myself, sometimes. If there’s a subject on which I have even the most tangential thought, in many cases I can find something creative and/or catchy to do with it, provided there’s no vital scheduling needs involved.

Writing prompts are an enjoyable challenge for me if everyone’s fine waiting anywhere from two days to three years for my results. It doesn’t matter if the idea came from the WordPress.com Daily Post. It doesn’t matter if it came from current events. And as I’ve discovered over the past four months, it makes no difference if the idea was mine.

Speaking of which: I have a commitment to fulfill and a project I said I’d finish.

Right this way for the grand finale!

Happy Thanksgiving from MCC!

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving!

Every chef’s least favorite part of the Thanksgiving experience: the customer complaints.

In the spirit of the American holiday, the management here at Midlife Crisis Crossover would like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving upon you ‘n’ yours, and to express our sincerest gratitude to You, the Viewers at Home. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks very much for your generous encouragement signals in all their varied forms. Danke schön for making this long-term hobby experiment enjoyable even when it’s not easy. And enjoy a Special Thanks during the end credits for just being You.

Whether you’re visiting loved ones, liked ones, or other ones, or opting out of the visiting experience altogether, may your celebratory meals be enjoyed in peace, love, harmony, and kindness in both spirit and tongue. May your gathering remain festive and filled with fellowship, and may it not turn into a flame war so atrocious that it earnsits own hashtag.

And don’t forget to thank the hard-working chef(s) and collaborators who made your Turkey Day feeding possible. Even if the turkey is a little dry, or the dinner rolls are a little overcooked, or they forgot to salt anything, or they think jellybeans are an acceptable substitute for stuffing, or they’re serving their homemade off-putting cranberry-rhubarb-coconut cobbler again, their generosity, diligence, and talents nonetheless deserve a round of recognition. After you’ve complimented them or handed them awards, then you can go fall asleep in their favorite recliner or on their living room rug. Cheers!

Entry Postponed on Account of Powderkeg Detonation

Ferguson 11-24-14.

America tonight in a nutshell. (Source: somewhere down in the Twitter fusillades.)

The Midlife Crisis Crossover management regrets that tonight’s regularly scheduled Sleepy Hollow recap has been postponed until Tuesday night on account of breaking developments in the infamous town of Ferguson, MO, where the grand jury in the Michael Brown shooting, given five possible options on which to indict Officer Darren Wilson, has chosen exactly zero of those options and determined amongst themselves that the case doesn’t merit going to an actual capital-T Trial in court.

According to a lengthy statement recited on live TV by St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney Bob McCulloch, the grand jury reached this decision after hearing conflicting testimonies from five dozen witnesses, three autopsies that all agreed with each other, lots of documents, folders, samples, forensic thingamabobs, and so on but I think America as a whole stopped listening to McCulloch several minutes before he finished and retreated to an undisclosed safe location from which he could monitor any unsightly damage inflicted on his Wikipedia entry.

Continue reading

Gazing Upon the Works of Others

Autumn Maple, 2014

This is probably my last autumn photo of the year. I sure didn’t make this tree, but I did work to save its life one year during a terrible drought that pushed it to the brink. Taking extra steps to keep this pretty piece of Creation around seemed the least I could do for the sake of nature in general and our backyard in particular.

Continue reading

MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #13-15: “Gracepoint” / “Murder” / “Stalker”

Gracepoint!

Our Heroes prepped for their roles by attending a seminar on “Surviving an American Remake of a European Series” and then reading viewer complaints about The Killing.

This very special, pretty unwise MCC project continues!

I’m combining three entries in one for simple bookkeeping reasons. See, some MCC entries get Likes from fellow WordPress users. Some MCC entries see an uptick in site traffic. Some rare MCC specimens are blessed enough to garner both. Up to this point most of the MCC 2014 Pilot Binge entries have been earning neither. Even spammerbot accounts are looking at them and thinking, “This no good! We go spam other bloggers! You call when you go back to posting photos! THEN we link you to counterfeit Louboutins long time!”

I refuse to quit the project because that’s the kind of mule-headed fool I am, even if means more TV viewing discomfort. A few pilots may still merit individual entries in the future, but I’ve received the message loud and clear that not every impression I have is worth 700-1,000 words. It doesn’t help that my tastes are sometimes confounding and governed by peculiar guidelines. Regardless, we’ll see what we can do with this silent input and go from there.

And now, a few words on three pilots about MURDER.

Continue reading

“The Night Before Awesome Con”: a Poetic Live-Tweet Distraction

Awesome Con Indy 2014! Woo!

Awesome Con Indy! October 3-5, 2014. Tickets still available!

Saturday my wife and I will be checking out the inaugural Awesome Con Indianapolis down at the Indiana Convention Center. Awesome Con will be our sixth convention this year, but we have high hopes that this experience will find its own positive form of uniqueness. The guest list isn’t too lengthy or overwhelming, and contains quite a few names we’re excited to meet. We presume there’ll be nifty new things to buy, too.

Now it’s Friday night and I’m still not ready. I’ve had a busy week (not all of it was my fault) and my attention span has been stretched to its limits in myriad directions. I’m really trying to concentrate and prepare for our big, fantabulous day of walking, shopping, walking, meeting, walking, cosplayers, walking, potentially talking to someone, and after that some more walking because my free parking is several blocks away. But I needed to unwind first before I could resume researching.

Right this way for tonight’s short, special presentation!

Nighttime in Rosemont Between the Panels

Nighttime in Rosemont.

Pictured: the view from our hotel room at the Westin O’Hare in Rosemont, IL, during the weekend of this year’s Wizard World Chicago. It’s nestled next to I-190 and minutes away from the large, famous airport you may have heard name-checked in all the headline news today. Between the airport traffic and the stream of endless events at the Stephens Center, Rosemont is a sparkly yet reserved town, wired for entertainment and insomnia.

Most convention attendees spend their evenings indulging in the after-dark events such as film screenings or NSFW panels, networking, fraternizing, carousing, generally partying to the break of dawn. Meanwhile for us sensible, old-time squares, nighttime is our signal to retreat from the hubbub, skip all the alcohol that everyone else cherishes, settle into the plush confines of our accommodations, exploit all the amenities that don’t incur surprise room charges, and recharge all manner of batteries.

I took this shot on a whim while standing between the curtain panels and the windows, letting the cooler air near the glass creep around me and waft away the day’s tensions, worries, and cumulative physical strains. It was an oasis of momentary serenity in a bustling, bristling weekend.

Then my wife turned on the TV. Because all those basic-cable channels weren’t gonna inventory themselves. Meditative tranquility gave way to the screeching cacophony of a thousand know-it-all talking heads, upon whom I wished immediate whooping cough.

I’m revisiting this moment (the sedate part, not the screeching part) during a week when multi-tasking has stretched me thin, morale has been shakier than usual, and feedback signals of doubt and indifference have obscured my concentration. I could use another few minutes like these to stare through the dark horizons, seek the pinpoints of light, pause for an ethereal refresher, and remind myself of the dawns yet to come, the brighter lights ahead, and the promises behind why we do what we do.

The MCC 2014 Pilot Binge: Kickoff and First Down

Utopia!

Not a codeword for the new fall TV lineup.

And now for something completely regrettable:

I have a short list of TV shows I follow every year, but I don’t watch nearly as much TV as the average internet user my age. I don’t connect with what many of today’s sitcoms consider “humor”. The Wire ruined all ordinary police shows for me for all time. We don’t subscribe to any premium cable channels. I’m not remotely interested in any show that describes itself as “sexy”. My list of disqualifiers goes on and on.

This year I’ve decided against my better judgment to dare myself to do something different. I spent time this weekend reading the official annual “Fall TV Preview” cover features in the latest issues of Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide, and compiled a list of the new shows that merited full articles or capsule previews. I omitted a few premium-cable shows for the one reason mentioned above (the pirating option is off the table) and a few online-only streaming shows for assorted logistical reasons. That left me with a list of twenty-six TV shows in all.

Right this way for the details…

There’s Nothing Wrong with Your Internet Connection. For Now.

Net Neutrality.

90% of the following message was provided as an unpaid courtesy by Battle For The Net. The other 10% is value-added MCC editing and reformatting.

* * * * *

If you woke up tomorrow and your internet looked like this, what would you do?

Imagine all your favorite websites taking forever to load, while you get annoying notifications from your ISP suggesting you switch to one of their approved “Fast Lane” sites. Think about what we would lose: all the weird, alternative, interesting, and enlightening stuff that makes the Internet so much cooler than mainstream cable TV. What if the only news sites you could reliably connect to were the ones that had deals with companies like Comcast and Verizon?

On September 10th, just a few days before the FCC’s comment deadline, public interest organizations are issuing an open, international call for websites and internet users to unite for an “Internet Slowdown” to show the world what the web would be like if Team Cable gets their way and trashes net neutrality. Net neutrality is hard to explain, so our hope is that this action will help show the world what’s really at stake if we lose the open Internet.

If you’ve got a website, blog or Tumblr, get the code to join the #InternetSlowdown at the official site. The Internet Slowdown official Tumblr also has a quick list of other things you can do to help spread the word about the slowdown.

Get creative! Don’t let us tell you what to do. See you on the net September 10th!

Net Neutrality.

* * * * *

Special thanks to Automattic, the talented minds behind WordPress, for supporting this effort all the way. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen them advocating from the front lines of the internet battlefield. If I could hug or high-five each of their employees personally, I totally would.

Top 10 Ways I’ll Be Celebrating MCC’s 800th Entry

Sundae in Salem!

I had no idea how to illustrate this entry. After 28 months I still have no site branding to showcase. I’m not in the mood for anything prideful. Please randomly enjoy this outtake from our 2013 road trip — me eating a sundae at the Witch’s Brew Cafe in Salem, MA. Why not.

We interrupt our Wizard World Chicago 2014 galleries to bring you this brief intermission noting the occasion of Midlife Crisis Crossover’s 800th post!

Neither writer’s block nor Hollywood’s siren call nor reckless abandon nor typing-finger tumors have stayed me from my appointed fixation yet. If and when MCC crashes and burns someday, I hope I can think of reasons to blame anyone and everything except myself.

From the Home Office in Indianapolis, IN: Top 10 Ways I’ll Be Celebrating MCC’s 800th Entry:

10. 10,000-word all-star salute to me, myself, and I

9. Have a WordPress “Freshly Pressed” banner tattooed across my chest

8. Reprint a past entry no one else liked except me; grovel for pity-Likes

7. Eight-hour scenes-after-end-credits marathon

6. Saccharine love letter to my wife that makes all other readers nauseous

5. Write epic fanfic crossover “Bunheads Go to Sleepy Hollow”

4. Buy a PS4 and one game; play until my gamer-cred upticks; then go settle every Quinn/Sarkeesian rage-war single-handedly

3. Prize drawing to get rid of all my unwanted DC New 52 comics

2. Live-tweet a Dog with a Blog rerun

And the number one Way I’ll Be Celebrating MCC’s 800th Entry:

1. Family road trip to Ferguson!

How Much Would You Pay for Midwest Convention Space?

Who N.A.!

Who North America is a regular staple at our regular cons. They seem to be doing okay, even though they have to pay for four or five times the space.

This past Wednesday I walked into my comic shop and waded into the middle of a conversation about booth space prices. Awesome Con is staging their first Indianapolis show in October, and the guys weren’t too keen on what was being asked, how much extra a corner booth would cost over an endcap, and why the con’s rep promised them a “locals” discount over the phone that appeared nowhere in the marketing materials. Much snickering ensued.

Continue reading

Granny Driving in Tractor Parade (experiment #2)

Granny on tractor

Sample image from our day spent strolling around the 2014 Indiana State Fair. As you might expect from a state fair, there were unhealthy new food items and small entertainment spectacles and amateur art and general Hoosier happenings all around, such as the driver seen here, one of several participants in a midday parade around the fairgrounds’ long racetrack alongside numerous other farmers on tractors.

More photos to come in the next couple days, here on MCC…

Not Put Asunder, Ten Years and Counting

Us in Fargo!

This is how everyone spends their tenth wedding anniversary, right? Because my wife and I sure wouldn’t want to look out of place or anything.

Right this way for a post-vacation update!

A Muted Moment with a Meaningless Muffin

Muffin!

Sometimes a lazy summer strikes when you least expect it. For a few random days at a time, you’re surrounded by quiet, relaxing doldrums. Your TV schedule loses its pulse. Theater screens are usurped by movies clearly rated NFY (Not For You). Headline news is, if not slow per se, more irrelevant to you than usual. Sometimes a muffin with too many ingredients is the most exciting thing that’s happened to you.

Right this way for upcoming plans after the calm…

Midlife Crisis Crossover #0: the One-Man Dramatis Personae

Welcome! Turn Back!

Welcome! Turn back! Welcome back! Hie thee hence! Join us! Shoo! Whichever!

Welcome to entry #733 here at Midlife Crisis Crossover! If this were a mainstream comic book, I would’ve already stopped and relaunched a new site with a new #1 at least thirty-seven times by now. Fortunately, I have no marketing department giving me marching orders. Unfortunately, I have no marketing department spreading word of me to the four corners of the planet. The compromise is so aggravating.

If you’re just joining us or recently discovered the site, you may be a bit disoriented, even after reading the “About” page I wrote two years ago and have amended a few times since then. That version contains the “in-story” reasoning behind the site name without confessing that it was contrived using the Wheel of Fortune “Before and After” method. I’m sure it sounds like rubbish if you’re not a comics fan who knows what a “Crisis Crossover” was. The bottom-line truth is I needed a name that no other writer, blogger, or sensible creative type would want. That’s one objective met, then.

In the days of yore, comics writers followed a helpful rule of thumb: “Every issue is someone’s first.” New readers appreciate accessibility. Most sites use the “About” Page to catch visitors up to speed and don’t look back. (I offered baseline advice on this one time.) While mine does its job to a certain extent, it doesn’t summarize every version of me that readers have seen in these pages. Sometimes each me can act as though they exist on a different Earth apart from my other selves. Sometimes those worlds drift apart. Sometimes the me of two worlds vibrates in harmony as one. Sometimes worlds collide.

Right this way for the Unofficial Handbook of the Midlife Crisis Crossover Universe!…

Rallying for Rarasaur.

Rarasaur!

The original Rarasaur mascot says hi!

Once upon a time, there was a happy, prolific blogger named Rara, read and loved by many. In her time on WordPress she’s been a font of creativity, effervescence, community spirit, encouragement, whimsy, thoughtfulness, and simple ways of pulling out of downward spirals. She’s been featured on WordPress’ Freshly Pressed main stage more than once. She’s been a frequent guest contributor on other sites, from relative unknowns to the official site for The Queen Latifah Show.

Full disclosure: I’m a follower. We’ve exchanged comments back and forth on each other’s sites and shared geek thoughts and sensibilities. Many, many other folks in the WordPress community could say the same and have better, more inspirational stories to tell. She’s respected and cheerily infectious that way.

And then one dreadful day she saw coming, The MAN sent Rara to jail.

How you can help in little ways…

Midlife Crisis Crossover Celebrates Two Years, 700 Entries, Countless Stories Yet Untold

WordPress 2nd anniversary!

Your official 2nd-anniversary notification from WordPress looks like this. Printing, framing, embossing, and/or enlarging to poster size are optional at the writer’s expense.

It’s that time again! Through the grace of God and the stubbornness of me, Midlife Crisis Crossover reached and surpassed its second anniversary on April 28, 2014. I postponed the party because I didn’t want to interrupt my annual C2E2 photo journal marathon at its height, and I fancied the idea of coinciding with this, MCC’s 700th entry. That’s two milestones nailed at one time, both highlighted without passing on the extra costs to You, the Viewers at Home!

For those interested in reliving the creation of MCC and/or time-traveling to key points in its distant past, the following moments are recommended for historical purposes:

* The first official MCC entry, basically a satire of the Indianapolis majority’s unseemly, senseless hatred of mass transit. I spent a full week writing and refining this launch post, researching blogging platforms, and experimenting with the control panel once I’d made my decision. After going live on April 28th, it had maybe seven whole views in its first week of existence. With almost no promotion and nothing in mind resembling a quote-unquote “marketing strategy”, I like to think that’s seven more views than I had any right to expect.

This way for more topics, answers to forgotten questions, ruminations on possible futures, and possibly more!