“Robot Dreams”: You’ve Got a Friend in Me (for Now)

A cartoon dog and a robot on a skyscraper's observation deck playing around on coin-op binoculars. Other cartoon animal tourists are scattered around the deck, including a yak.

If you love pointing at ’80s stuff or iconic NYC places, have we got a film for you!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Oscar Quest ’24 continues! We do our best to see how many freshly nominated works we can catch before ABC’s big, indulgent Academy Awards ceremony ends the viewing season.

Each year there’s at least one nominee for Best Animated Feature that’s completely unknown to mainstream audiences because they don’t come with a massive corporate brand stamped on the front. This year is no exception: Pablo Berger’s li’l Spanish dramedy Robot Dreams kept me waiting for any kind of release, whether streaming or in theaters. My patience finally paid off: Indianapolis’ own Kan-Kan Cinema was among the few theaters holding exclusive, one-night-only screenings the Wednesday before the Oscars. I showed up alongside three or four dozen other folks at various stages of their own Oscar Quests. Oscar Quest is often such a solitary activity for me that it was nice not to be alone for a little while.

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Yes, There’s a ‘Word of the Day’ After the “Perfect Days” End Credits

Sixtysomething Japanese man in a blue jumpsuit labeled The Tokyo Toilet stands in a park in daytime, smiles and waves at someone offscreen.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this cleaner from the swift completion of his appointed rounds.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Oscar Quest continues! We do our best to see how many freshly nominated works we can catch before ABC’s big, indulgent Academy Awards ceremony ends the viewing season. As is often the case, candidates in Best International Feature endure the slowest rollout of any category due to the complexities of overseas finances and/or struggles to get Stateside studios to pay attention to them and give them turns at our box offices, especially cities outside NYC and L.A.

So far in the BIF competition we’ve caught Spain’s Society of the Snow set in South America, the U.K.’s The Zone of Interest set in Nazi Germany, and Germany’s The Teachers’ Lounge, whose protagonist is from Poland and whose director is of Turkish descent. Our next nominee for your Oscar consideration is Japan’s Perfect Days, from German director Wim Wenders. Thus the mixing-and-matching of nationalities among creators and works continues, apropos of its main character’s aesthetic tastes.

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“The Teachers’ Lounge”: The Case of the School Sleuth Snafu

A teacher wearing a scarf and holding a Rubik's Cube stands in her classroom, empty except for a single student she's talking to offscreen. Subtitle reads, "It's about mathematics not magic."

In my day, teachers could rest easy knowing Encyclopedia Brown would solve all their mysteries for them.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: our fourth annual Oscar Quest continues! We do our best to see how many freshly nominated works we can catch before ABC’s big, indulgent Academy Awards ceremony ends the viewing season. Every year the most challenging category for attaining a 5-for-5 viewing score is Best International Feature. Every single year, three-to-five out of five honored films haven’t even been released in the U.S. before their nominations are announced, so I have to contain myself as they slowly enter the national art-house circuit. Weeks can pass before they reach our Indianapolis theaters. Sometimes my patience pays off; sometimes a straggler or two misses the deadline.

Of this year’s lineup, I watched Society of the Snow on Netflix in early January, and The Zone of Interest arrived here a month ago. Whereas Society was a Spanish film about an Uruguayan ensemble and Zone was a U.K. film entirely about German characters, our next nominee The Teachers’ Lounge (oder “Das Lehrerzimmer” auf Deutsch) was Germany’s official submission for the category, but its main character is Polish and she’s fluent in German and English. ‘Tis truly a solid year for cosmopolitan cinema.

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“To Kill a Tiger” and the MCC Best Documentary Feature 2024 Revue

Closeup of a solemn Indian father in front of a courtroom where many motorcycles are parked out front. Subtitles read, "A father fighting for his daughter in a rape case..." and trail off.

…is apparently a rarer specimen in India than unicorns.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: our fourth annual Oscar Quest continues! We do our best to see how many freshly nominated works we can catch before ABC’s big, indulgent Academy Awards ceremony ends the viewing season. Oscar Quest means seeking out every studio feature we didn’t already watch for fun on our own, every art-house film we underestimated the first time around, every short we’d never heard of, and each and every last-minute procrastinator released on New Year’s Eve in New York or L.A., America’s only two cities. I understand a recent rule change will negate the latter cheaters in the future, a limitation I wholly approve.

Relevant to this entry, the Quest of course also covers the documentaries — long or short, foreign or domestic, cheerfully uplifting or fatally dreary. (Uplift was in short supply worldwide this year. I blame humanity.) Most years, the Best Documentary Feature category divides two ways: those readily available to stream versus those frustratingly sat-upon until after the season ends and my Oscarmania has subsided. This is the first year I’ve caught all five nominees on time, though one of them required a little extra effort.

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“Madame Web”: O, What A Mangled Web We Grieve

IMAX poster for Madame Web in a theater hallway. Visual elements include five eyes in separate circles surrounding a falling body. In the middle there's a tiny spider. There are concentric circles and some cluttered webbing.

Note the use of classic spider elements, such as webbing, multiple unmatched eyes, and someone falling down a waterspout.

We interrupt our annual Oscar Quest for this breaking announcement:

“If you take on the responsibility, then will come great power.”

Is your mind blown yet? Your life irrevocably changed? Your latent Spider-powers activated? Your craving for scrambled Marvel Easter eggs whetted?

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The MCC 2024 Oscar-Nominated Short Film Revue

Tenebroso illustration of a giant pink pig with pinprick eyes looming in the shadows over a girl rendered in black-and-white.

Some pigs are nice, like Wilbur or Arnold Ziffel. Some pigs are made of rage.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: my annual Oscar Quest continues! I’m still trying to catch all the Academy Award nominees I can before the big ceremony regardless of whether I think I’ll like them or not, whether their politics and beliefs agree with mine or not, whether they’re good or bad for me, and whether or not my friends and family will care in the least bit.

Each year since 2009 (except for 2021’s pandemic lockdown marathon) I’ve ventured out to the few Indianapolis theaters carrying the big-screen releases of the Academy Award nominees for Best Live-Action Short Film and Best Animated Short Film. Results vary each time and aren’t always for all audiences, but I appreciate the opportunities to sample such works and see what the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences deemed worthy of celebrating, whether I agree with their collective opinions or not. My wife and adult son usually accompany me on the journey and we make a family outing of it, even though Oscar Quest is not their problem. Since 2019 I’ve also given myself extra credit for catching as many nominees for Best Documentary Short Film as possible, depending on their availability online, for the most complete shorts experience possible.

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“The Zone of Interest”: Where the Grass Is Not Greener

The wife of Auschwitz's commandant shows off her massive garden. At the backyard's edge is the ten-foot stone wall surrounding the concentration camp.

A tour through a spacious, beautiful backyard garden. Meanwhile out of sight, thousands are murdered.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: my Oscar Quest continues — that annual ritual where I catch as many newly Academy Award-nominated features and shorts as I can before the big, fancy, low-rated TV ceremony. In the case of The Zone of Interest, though, as soon as I learned of it from last autumn’s professional film-festival write-ups. I’d already decided I’d see it once it was available to us commoners, with or without the compulsory power of statuettes. Back in 2000 its writer/director Jonathan Glazer first made his mark with Sexy Beast, in which Sir Ben Kingsley terrified one and all as a gangster whose supernova force-of-will nearly pulverized every other actor in frame. If Glazer could coax the Gandhi Oscar-winner of all people to go there, I figured the sky would be the limit for him.

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In a Field Somewhere, Noticing “The Color Purple”

Movie poster for "The Color Purple" focusing on its three proud Black leading actresses.

Remember what happens when you walk past purple in a field and don’t notice it.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Oscar Quest 2024 continues! I’m still seeing how many of this year’s Academy Award nominees I can watch before the big night on March 11th. Used to be, I’d only hold myself accountable for the Best Picture nominees, but this is my fourth year trying to track down all works from all categories, even those with a single nomination to their credit. If I left the house to catch them in an actual theater, they get their own entry. That’s the MCC rule, no matter how much I might end up rambling.

That brings us to The Color Purple, the movie based on the musical based on the novel, not a movie based on the musical based on the movie based on the novel, because that would just be silly. The 1985 adaptation of Alice Walker’s novel, directed by Steven Spielberg and written for the screen by a white Dutchman (one of three guys credited for Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade), was nominated for 11 Oscars but left the ceremony statueless. The latest version, from first-time feature-length director Blitz Bazawule (one of the co-directors of Beyoncé’s Black Is King) and screenwriter Marcus Gardley (The Chi, Foundation), has only a single nomination, tying with several other wannabe-luminaries such as the fifteen short films and Flamin’ Hot. But it’s still in the running.

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“Ferrari”: The Big Race Not in the Oscar Race

Adam Driver playing the white-haired Enzo Ferrari, sitting at a dinner table with his hands held out palms-down, staring into the camera as he explains what happens when two particular engine parts don't line up perfectly.

What this pic and movie really need are some Photoshopped 3-D Force-lightning.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: I tried starting my annual Oscar Quest three weeks early by catching several potential nominees before the Academy’s official announcement, in hopes of reducing my eventual legwork. Two of those screenings proved useless to my Quest in the end: Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon (which was on the Best Visual Effects shortlist, but got justly bumped by Godzilla) and Ferrari, a vehicle for Adam Driver to explore a matured variation on his House of Gucci accent. Rendered irrelevant like that, this entry could’ve been procrastinated another week or two, but then I realized maybe it’d be a good idea to slot something between the entries for American Fiction and The Color Purple, which really would not work as a double feature.

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I Would’ve Voted for “American Fiction” Three Times If I Could’ve

Jeffrey Wright as an author sitting at his laptop in a very nice house, thinking hard about his next sentence.

“It was a Black and blackly night…”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: as a lifelong lover of satire, I was annoyed at missing American Fiction when it played the Heartland Film Festival months ahead of the current Oscar season, but its one and only showtime and location were lousy for me. The drive would’ve been a nearly-hourlong construction-zone slog to Central Indiana’s most upscale area, arguably a breeding ground for the very crowd that the film’s most withering commentary targets.

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My Oscar Quest 2024 Quick-Start Scorecard

Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer in one of the black-and-white flashbacks. He's seated at a table, incredulous during testimony and reaching for his coffee mug.

“Now I am become Oscar, the booster of careers.”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: every winter is my annual Oscar Quest, during which I venture out to see all Academy Award nominees for Best Picture, regardless of whether I think I’ll like them or not, whether their politics and beliefs agree with mine or not, whether they’re good or bad for me, and whether or not my friends and family have ever heard of them. I’ve seen every Best Picture winner from Wings to Everything Everywhere All at Once, and every Best Picture nominee from 1987 to the present, many of which were worth the hunt. You take the good, you take the bad, and so on.

Starting in 2020 I upgraded to the Oscars Quest Expanded Challenge, in which I see how many nominees I can watch in all categories before the big ceremony. Thanks to the expansion of streaming services I’ve seen every Oscar-nominated feature and short for the years 2021 and 2022, even in minor categories like Best Original Song. I enjoyed surprises and suffered regrets. Sometimes I have to wait for smaller nominees to arrive at the art-house theaters here in Indianapolis. Sometimes I luck out and they’re on our subscribed streaming services of choice. Sometimes I go for a streaming rental. In extreme cases a Redbox disc rental might be warranted. I go wherever the Quest takes me.

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“Poor Things”: Terry Gilliam’s Frankenhooker

Poor Things movie poster on display at a shopping-mall theater. It has the logo, Emma Stone with dark hair and thick eyebrows, and weird stuff at the bottom.

Winner of two Golden Globes! Too bad I’ve never cared about the Golden Globes.

Show of hands, who wants to hear opinions from a prude who avoids buying any Criterion Collection releases about “sexual liberation” or “sexual awakening”, who went to see a shamelessly, zealously “sex-positive” film?

No? No one? Understood. G’night! See you next entry! I’ll let y’all know when I post some more Disney World photos!

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2023 at the Movies at My House

Jessie Buckley and Riz Ahmed sit expectantly on the floor in front of a wall-mounted microwave. Two of her fingers are bandaged.

Time once more to gather the family ’round the appliance of your choice!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: : in 2023 I made 24 trips to the theater to see films made that same year. Meanwhile at home, I kept up with select new releases depending on what was conveniently available through our family’s streaming subscriptions, what sounded most watchable, and/or what felt like potential future Oscar nominees that should be gotten over with in advance to ease my annual Oscar Quest time crunch. For value-added fun, as an anniversary gift from my lovely wife Anne we now have Amazon Prime, which expanded our options without expanding my available TV free time. I did what I could within the time slots allotted.

Hence the fourth annual installment of the MCC tradition borne of the pandemic: a ranking of all the brand new films I saw on comfy, convenient home video in their year of release. Sure, they could’ve been 24 separate entries written in real time as I consumed them, but that’s not how I roll. The Academy Award nominations announcement is coming up January 23rd, which I’ve been keeping in the back of my mind as the deadline for this listicle, so that incentive to get these done clearly worked. On with the countdown!

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My 2023 at the Movies, Part 2 of 2: The Top 10

Four main cast members from the Dungeons & Dragons movie step into a medieval arena, booed by the crowd.

Over 300 films stepped into the 2023 arena. Ten step out.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s listing time again! In today’s entertainment consumption sphere, all experiences must be pitted against each other and assigned numeric values that are ultimately arbitrary to anyone except the writer themselves. It’s just this fun thing some of us love doing even though the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.

Of those 24 releases, 15 were sequels or chapters in an ongoing universe or venerated popcorn-flick IP. Eight were superhero films. Two were animated. Two were entirely subtitled. Ten had scenes during or after the end credits. Four were screenings at the 32nd annual Heartland Film Festival, not all of which have received wide U.S. runs as of this writing.

Here’s the annual rundown of what I didn’t miss in theaters in 2023, for better or worse. Links to past excessively wordy reviews and sometimes bizarrely construed thoughts are provided for historical reference…

And now, on with the Year’s Best Movies countdown:

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My 2023 at the Movies, Part 1 of 2: The Year’s Least Best

Scene from the second Shazam movie with all six powered-up Shazam Family members standing on a bridge, looking at you.

2023 was the 20th anniversary of the classic “LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!” LARPing video. The future that faux-wizard foresaw has arrived.

It’s listing time again! In today’s entertainment consumption sphere, all experiences must be pitted against each other and assigned numeric values that are ultimately arbitrary to anyone except the writer themselves. It’s just this fun thing some of us love doing even though the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.

I saw 24 films in theaters in 2023 that were actually released in 2023, a 33.3% increase over 2022 as COVID-19 retreated slightly into the bushes and folks began making more movies, many of them watchable. That number doesn’t include seven Academy Award nominees that were officially 2022 releases, but which I saw later outside the house as part of my annual Oscar Quest. It also doesn’t include the 2023 films I watched on streaming services, which will receive their own listicle.

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“The Crown” Season 6: All Ten Episodes Ranked According to a Guy Who Learned UK History Along the Way

Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth II dressed in white, standing in Westminster Abbey and contemplating the future. Hanging back on either side of her are Olivia Colman and Claire Foy, each in black as their respective Elizabeths from previous seasons.

Lilibet 1, Lilibet 2, and Lilibet 3 ponder the final fate of the Queen-Verse.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: at the start of the pandemic my wife Anne and I binged the first three seasons of Netflix’s The Crown, soon caught up with the rest of fandom, and kept up ever after. One slight hitch: while Anne is a major history aficionado, that was never my forte, especially not the story of Queen Elizabeth II and her subjects, some of whom were her own trod-upon relatives:

Compared to my blissfully ignorant self, Anne is far more knowledgeable of history in general and British royalty in particular. My interest in their reigning family went dormant for decades beginning on the morning of July 29, 1981, when my family woke up at 5 a.m. — over summer vacation, mind you — to watch Prince Charles marry Princess Diana, two strangers I knew only as frequent costars of my mom’s favorite tabloids. Their wedding lasted approximately six days and was performed in slow motion with British golf commentators prattling through the lengthy silences in between the happenstances of nothingness. For the next 15-20 years I retained nothing of British history apart from their role as the Big Bad in the American Revolution. Frankly, I’ve learned more about their country’s storied past from my wife and from Oscar-nominated movies than I ever did from school. Sad, unadorned truth.

So far I’ve enjoyed “The Crown” anyway, and understood most of what’s gone on…

We watched along as new episodes were released. I tracked our viewing with listicle rankings of season 4 and season 5. Not only were we enjoying the show enough for me to want to write about it, but all three entries also generated unexpectedly massive traffic, sometimes even dwarfing our comic-con cosplay galleries. (As I’m writing this, the Season 5 entry is still one of last week’s Top 3 posts.) I grumbled when Netflix made the very AMC-esque decision to split the sixth and final season into two parts, leading off with a four-episode miniseries-within-a-series covering The Death of Di. I understood the reasons (i.e., they were a self-contained story and Everyone Loves Princess Diana), but I felt the quartet didn’t justify a minuscule listicle. So I broke from the format and stretched my thoughts into a different sort of list. No one cared.

Looks like it’s listicle time again!

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“The Boy and the Heron”: No Sanctuary for Old Birds

Anime characters march down a path through a grassy yard. One young woman wearing a kimono and carrying a bow leads six shorter, elderly women all carrying brooms and itching to swat someone.

Miyazaki hive represent!

The Final Film from Visionary Animator Hayao Myazaki is a phrase that’s been pushed before in marketing, but maybe this time Studio Ghibli totally means it for sure, no take-backs, not a hoax, The Boy and the Heron is absolutely the animation master’s swan song from his beloved medium and then they’re unplugging all his screens and no longer accepting his notes on their future productions, which will merely have to do the best they can without his sage guidance and relentless perfectionism. Hopefully Ghibli’s next phase goes far better than that time Disney ushered in a new artistic era for themselves and the result was Chicken Little.

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Yes, There’s a Scene During the “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” End Credits

Jason Momoa and Patrick Wilson on a beach. Aquaman is trying to catch his breath and holds up his hand waiting for a high-five. His evil half-brother Orm, shirtless and bedraggled after a long prison stay, holds Aquaman's Trident of Naptune in one hand and just stares back at him, leaving him hanging.

Poor King of Atlantis, waiting in vain for all his DC fans to come high-five him again in theaters.

R.I.P., DC Extended Universe. I wouldn’t call theirs “a good run” through-and-through, but it had worthy moments. It’s a shame only a handful of us attended the farewell party in theaters, a.k.a. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. It’s also a shame this rather expensive, mostly underwater half-CG-cartoon sequel was only the year’s second-best DC film.

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Yes, There’s Foreshadowing After the “Godzilla Minus One” End Credits

Japanese woman on a train looking out the window, which hazily reflects a rampaging Godzilla heading her way.

Warning: objects in reflection may be scarier than they appear.

In 2019 writer/director Takashi Yamazaki’s historical-fictional The Great War of Archimedes voiced a younger generation’s righteous anger at the hawkish military statesmen who may have deceitfully goaded Japan into World War II and examined the question, “What if one lone hero had risen up to expose their lies and tried to avert the war? Also, what if he were a math whiz?” After their country’s resignation from the League of Nations, officials who oppose elder colleagues’ proposal to build the ultimate super-battleship — clearly the herald of a forthcoming offensive rather than an ostentatious precautionary defense — recruit an antiwar savant to prove the mega-boat would be wildly more expensive than they’re letting on and hopefully foil their plot. The filmmaker best sums up the hubris of those would-be conquerors in a chilling boardroom debate where one contemptuous admiral dismisses the will of the people that is so beneath him: “Without the state, the people are nothing.”

Currently available for streaming on Amazon Prime and some ad-supported services, Yamazaki’s fast-paced high-stakes calculus melodrama expresses regret over the arrogant leadership of yore and proves their audiences are far more open-minded to supporting niche sub-subgenres than Americans are. But it’s especially striking for its opening set piece, a flash-forward to the final fate of the Yamato — a harrowing, five-minute ocean-disaster modern-CG epic mash-up of Titanic and Pearl Harbor bloodier than both films combined. Viewers will know The End going in, yet watch in escalating horror how some dissenting officers might’ve foreseen that outcome but played along anyway.

Four years later Yamazaki’s American theatrical debut follows the same train of recriminating thought as he shifts focus from pre- to post-war Japan. Amid the remains of its decimated cities — not just the two commemorated in all “NEVER AGAIN” speeches and essays ever since — he reemphasizes the past sins of the ruling class and celebrates the indomitable spirit of the Japanese people who rise up to defend their homeland against a flagrantly aggressive common foe. They band together not with their government but despite their government. As it happens, that foe is a famous giant lizard.

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My 2023 Reading Stacks #3

Covers of the first two books reviewed below.

Two books about movies, some of which are based on books. One book technically works as a sequel to the other.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Welcome to our recurring MCC feature in which I scribble capsule reviews of everything I’ve read that was published in a physical format over a certain page count with a squarebound spine on it — novels, original graphic novels, trade paperbacks, infrequent nonfiction dalliances, and so on. Due to the way I structure my media-consumption time blocks, the list will always feature more graphic novels than works of prose and pure text, though I do try to diversify my literary diet as time and acquisitions permit.

Occasionally I’ll sneak in a contemporary review if I’ve gone out of my way to buy and read something brand new. Every so often I’ll borrow from my wife Anne or from our local library. But the majority of our spotlighted works are presented years after the rest of the world already finished and moved on from them because I’m drawing from my vast unread pile that presently occupies four oversize shelves comprising thirty-five years of uncontrolled book shopping. I’ve occasionally pruned the pile, but as you can imagine, cut out one unread book and three more take its place…

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