Tag Archives: reviews

Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Doctor Strange” End Credits

November 6, 2016 By in Comics/Lit, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Doctor Strange!

“By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth!” says no one in this movie ever. 0/10, huge letdown, not sure why they even bothered.

In my comic-collecting childhood, I thought Dr. Strange was okay. He’s had occasional memorable stories from talented writers and artists such as Roger Stern, Peter B. Gillis, Michael Golden, Marshall Rogers, Paul Smith, Chris Warner, Chris Claremont, Gene Colan, Brian K. Vaughan, Mark Waid, and so on. The current run by Jason Aaron and Chris Bachalo isn’t bad and looks stupendous. The original stories by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko were okay, but never left the same impression on me that their three-year Amazing Spider-Man collaboration did. Doc has never exactly been an all-time Top 5 hero for me. I bought his series on and off, skipping entire years and runs. I don’t mind him, but I didn’t have to have a movie about him.

It’s a good thing Marvel didn’t ask me for my opinion before arranging for Benedict Cumberbatch and director Scott Derrickson to turn Doctor Strange into such a profound panoply of prismatic panoramas. I mean, I still cling to hope of one day buying opening-day passes for Squirrel Girl: The Motion Picture or maybe a Mary Jane solo movie, but I’m okay with the Master of the Mystic Arts going first. I guess.

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“Sully”: Meddling in the Miracle on the Hudson

November 4, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Sully!

“Look, I’ve tried to cooperate patiently with this inquiry, but for the last time, I don’t know anything about this ‘David Pumpkins’ fella.”

Director Clint Eastwood’s new drama Sully takes us back to a time when every so often the national media had reasons to write headlines about good things that happened, even if meanwhile behind the scenes everything later fell apart, but the follow-up headlines were such dull sequels to the original inspiring pieces that they were relegated to the back section of the newspaper after the obituaries and sharing a page with The Family Circus, which no one reads and so everyone would assume that was that And They All Lived Happily Ever After. It’s also one of those early-bird Oscar hopefuls that the major studios release in autumn so they can be rushed to convenient home video in time for AMPAS voters to catch them at their leisure at home, rather than being expected or remotely willing to visit their local theater twenty or thirty times over the course of the voting season so they can get honestly informed about their choices. Then again, should Oscar voters be any more informed than those of us who vote in every political election? Are we hypocrites for wishing Hollywood always aimed for high standards of integrity than we do when it comes to naming the winners in their own history books? I like to think if Sully himself were an actor, he’d be disgusted about the whole process and deliver a great speech to shame them all into being more scrupulous film fans, and then maybe go on to run for President, because you know he’d do it sincerely and not as a promotional precursor to his forthcoming “SullyTV” project. Sully’s noble like that, but good luck getting him to admit it.

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So There’s an Extra During the “Kubo and the Two Strings” End Credits

October 12, 2016 By in Meta, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Kubo and the Two Strings!

Animation so accomplished, even the characters can’t help staring at each other in awe.

One of my long-standing rules here on Midlife Crisis Crossover is that every movie I watch in theaters gets its own entry. The results aren’t a formal review so much as they’re a brick-by-brick deconstruction to cherry-pick which parts I’m interesting in recording my thoughts about for my own future archival purposes, stitched together with just enough exposition and summation for any MCC readers interested in following along even if they haven’t seen the movie in question.

Said subsection of readers isn’t what it used to be. I realize the format is odd and amateurish in some respects, and it’s not lost on me that the movie entries receive far fewer Likes from other WordPress users than our travel photo galleries do. But part of the grand MCC experiment is facilitating my itch to write and express myself, hoping anyone else out there finds kernels of usefulness in my indulgences, and not wallowing in self-loathing second-guessing whenever they don’t. It’s been one of the tougher aspects of the blogging process to grapple, and I think I’m thiiiiis close to nailing it.

I saw Kubo and the Two Strings over a month ago but kept procrastinating its entry because I worried the results would be a 1000-word stream-of-consciousness brainstorming session of every complimentary adjective Roget ever catalogued. And if there’s one opinion above all that I’ve acquired after 4½ years of writing about theatrical releases, it’s that I’ve grown to hate adjectives as a word class. Rather than risk abolishing the long-standing rule mentioned in paragraph one, I can either stick to my commitment or find something else to write about between travel entries.

Soooo who wants to see me typing lots about the week in politics?

…

…okay, then: Kubo!

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“Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”: Books > Movie

October 5, 2016 By in Comics/Lit, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Miss Peregrine!

“I’m sorry, young lady, but you’ve exceeded your three-minute screen time maximum. Please go fetch the CG monsters from their trailers and then go join the other children on the bench.”

Quite a few commentators have dismissed the big-screen adaptation of the first volume in Ransom Riggs’ bestselling Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children young-adult series as “Tim Burton’s X-Men”. In comics we’ve learned to accept the coexistence of dozens of super-teams among the numerous universes over the past century, many of which aren’t superfluous and forgettable. Meanwhile in movies, someone gathers a few paranormals and no one can think of any other basis for comparison beyond the X-Men. Y’all do know “school for kids with powers” isn’t a rare pop culture concept anymore, right? Besides, I called dibs on the joke four years ago and beat the rush. See below.

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Scarecrow and Mr. Grey in “Anthropoid”

September 10, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments
Anthropoid!

Just hanging out in Prague, trying to look cool and impress Czech chicks and maybe not get executed.

In this age of wall-to-wall summer action blockbusters and the multiple temptations to entertain ourselves at home for cheap, we have a hard time getting out there to see and support the obscure, scrappy little films whenever they air in the precious few local theaters that bother to screen them. On rare occasion my wife and I will find spare moments to make the long trek to the one art-house theater on the opposite side of Indianapolis if something tempts us on a not-so-busy weekend. Nine out of every ten experiences have ranged from pleasant to surprising to thrilling.

It’s been a while since we’ve run up against that tenth out of ten films. As soon as it opened here in town, we made an appointment with Anthropoid because films about World War II are usually her cup of tea. This time, not so much.

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Yes, There’s a Scene During the “Suicide Squad” End Credits

August 7, 2016 By in Comics/Lit, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Suicide Squad!

Not the Bad News Bears reboot we want, but maybe the Police Academy reboot we need.

Midlife Crisis Crossover calls David Ayer’s Suicide Squad the best DC Comics film since The Dark Knight!

To be candid, that’s not too much of a compliment if you reconsider the competition. I suppose it’s a close race with The Losers, but I think of that more as a DC/Vertigo movie even though the original Losers were an old-time DC property. Suicide Squad has quite a few flaws in need of fixing — or, quite possibly, unfixing if you believe the press — but the overall studio-approved package contains a lot of well-crafted elements, some inspired performances, and a pretty faithful approximation of the 1980s Squad of my teenage years.

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Yes, There’re Scenes During AND After the “Ghostbusters” End Credits

August 5, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Ghostbusters!

Paparazzi photo from the listening party for the new Fall Out Boy theme.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: I went ahead and reviewed co-writer/director Paul Feig’s controversial Ghostbusters reboot without seeing it first:

A-plus-plus-plus-plus-plus-plus. Eleventeen stars out of six. Two thumbs and five “WE’RE #1” giant foam fingers up. Two standing ovations, twelve “Good Job!” happy grading stickers, four Employee of the Month certificates, three Peabody Awards, a two-year supply of Rice-A-Roni (the San Francisco treat!), and one honorary “Joe Bob says check it out!” Midlife Crisis Crossover calls Ghostbusters “One of the year’s best films!” based on the fact that I just felt like typing those words in that order for this purpose. Since I haven’t had a man card to my name in ages, this is the kind of arbitrary whim that really impresses my wife.

…because someone had to bring balance to the internet. That someone didn’t have to be a guy, of course.

As of last night, now I’ve seen it for real. And every movie I watch in a theater for real gets an entry, even if I technically covered it already, even if the rest of America has already moved on to the next movie discussion.

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“Star Trek Beyond” The Space Fast & the Space Furious

July 25, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Star Trek Beyond!

New character Jaylah (Sofia Boutella from Kingsman: The Secret Service) promises she’s not a rebooted character, her name isn’t Ms. Khan, and she isn’t a radically reimagined Mugatu.

Thirteenth time’s nearly the charm for the long-running film series, which needed to make up for the ground lost by JJ Abrams’ 2013 superfluous Wrath of Khan remake. This time around the Powers That Be went with a different style of director — Justin Lin, mastermind behind four Fast and the Furious entries, including the one where nearly all the heroes teamed up and became the AAA Avengers with their very own Fast and Furious Cinematic Speedway. Lin knows a little about diving into established universes, and a lot about spectacularly timed whiz-bang action sequences. I assumed sight unseen that Star Trek Beyond would therefore have some of the best starship battle sequences in all of Trekdom (or at least it had better), but would he be capable of the kind of cerebral depth that the old-time fans demand from their Enterprise crew?

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Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Finding Dory” End Credits

July 3, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Finding Dory!

Hipster fish coffee: the next big trend. Call it “Pescafe”.

America’s favorite fish are back! (Sorry, Charlie.) Finding Dory is a rare sequel in which the main character returns but is relegated to a sidekick role and gets fewer lines, like the third Hobbit movie. Seems unfair that Ellen DeGeneres’ agent can beat up superstar Nemo’s agent, but that’s how it goes in Hollywood.

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MCC Home Video Scorecard #8: Of Pee-Wee and Poe

June 30, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks, TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , 7 Comments
Pee-Wee's Big Holiday!

When Pee-Wee and Joe saw the breadth of their diorama, they wept, for there were too many worlds left to conquer.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: the recurring feature that’s me jotting down capsule-sized notes about Stuff I’ve Been Watching at home. Some of this is catch-up that missed the cut last time due to memory loss, so consider this a handy wrap-up of 2016 home viewing to date. I think. More or less. Not counting Netflix series, anyway.

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“Ghostbusters”: Best Film of the Year, Possibly, Let’s Assume

June 21, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments
Ghostbusters!

For Your Film Award Consideration. Like, all of them, because we have a dream.

Normally I wouldn’t review a film till after I’ve seen it, but I get the impression from some corners of the internet that cause-and-effect are now passé and prejudging is all the rage with the poorly parented kids these days. I’ve been watching the ongoing Ghostbusters debates for months from the sidelines, but the following tweet kind of broke me Monday evening:

https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/745014178914566144

I can’t figure out which shopping site he was browsing, but honestly, that’s how we’re playing armchair critic, guys? By shooting things down that make us frown without even trying them? With attitudes like that, I’m guessing none of those faux advance reviewers ever gave vegetables a chance, either.

Hi, geese. Call me gander. Let’s go ahead and review Ghostbusters like it’s the greatest thing in the galaxy, 100% sight unseen, three weeks before it opens. Free country! Free speech! Free boorishness! Free self-immolation!

Right this way for a heavy-duty shot of positivity adrenaline for Generation Shouty!

Yes, There’s a Scene After the “X-Men: Apocalypse” End Credits

June 9, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
X-Men Apocalypse!

In an unprecedented negotiation victory, the cast’s contracts allowed them to rewrite the entire screenplay between takes to their own satisfaction and without the director’s input. Believe it or not!

Marvel’s merry mutants are back! Academy Award Winner Jennifer Lawrence and her amazingly lower-paid friends return for X-Men: Apocalypse, the ninth film in a cinematic universe that’s unwritten at least 3¾ previous installments out of its own continuity. Everything you thought you knew, every film you thought was worth saving, every character you thought was more important than other characters, you’re wrong. Shut up, go to the concession stand, and don’t come back until you agree to stop thinking so hard about any of this. Just be happy that director Bryan Singer is finally telling the one major story that You, the Viewers at Home, clearly demanded most: the secret origin of Professor X’s bald head.

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My Free Comic Book Day 2016 Results, Best to Least Best

May 17, 2016 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Deadpool!

Our annual Free Comic Book Day tradition saw us once again at Indianapolis’ own Downtown Comics North, where cosplayers are always on hand to greet kids, accompanying adults, and regulars alike. Naturally for pop culture’s Year of Deadpool there was Deadpool, so please enjoy Deadpool because Deadpool.

On May 7th my wife and I had the pleasure of once again observing Free Comic Book Day, the least fake holiday of them all. Readers of multiple demographics, thankfully including lots of youngsters, flocked to our local stores and had the opportunity to enjoy samplers from all the major comic companies and dozens of indie publishers. This year’s assortment saw more all-ages comics than ever, so this wasn’t just an outreach to longtime fortysomething collectors who need no further enticement.

I never grab copies of everything, but this year I got a little more grabby than I thought. This entry was procrastinated days past its relevance expiration date because it took me that much longer to find the free time to read them all, even those I could speed through in three minutes flat. In my mind, regardless of total consumption minutes, each issue ought to be a satisfying experience for any new reader who opens the cover without any foreknowledge. Historically, each publisher’s offerings tend to fall into one of six story levels, ranked here in order from “Best Possible Display of Generosity and Salesmanship” to “Had to Slap SOMETHING Together, So Whatever”:

1. New, complete, done-in-one story
2. Complete story reprinted from existing material
3. A complete chapter of a new story with a proper chapter ending
4. Partial excerpt from an upcoming issue that will also contain all these same pages
5. No story, just random pinups or art samples
6. Disposable ad flyer shaped like a comic

Surprisingly, none of this year’s samples settled for option 5 or 6. Good show, publishers.

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Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Captain America: Civil War” End Credits

May 10, 2016 By in Comics/Lit, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Civil War!

Chadwick Boseman leads an all-star cast in Black Panther: Civil War, quite to my delight.

The worldwide phenomenon about two unique individuals from very different worlds — one with his armor and his billions, the other with his enviable muscles and his onetime fervor for The American Way — will rank high among other films in the $300-million U.S. box office club at year’s end. Once again the major studios prove they’re still capable of putting out product that can contemplate serious topics even while reveling in visual dynamics and not shying away from moments of emotional intensity.

No, not the one with the Marthas’ boys in it.

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Late Thoughts About “Daredevil” Season 2

April 20, 2016 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Punisher!

…or Marvel’s Punisher Season 1, or even Marvel’s Karen Page, Ace Reporter Season 1, depending on which arc you thought was a keeper.

I will never finish binge-watching any series at the same time as the rest of the world. Never. TV has to wait its turn in line for my attention along with internet, writing, moviegoing, gaming, full-time day-jobbing, homeowning, husbanding, and whatever other errands and obligations lure me away from home. I get to things when I get to them even if it means I miss out on all the really cool chat circles.

I’m actually proud I finished season 2 of Netflix’s Marvel’s Daredevil this early, to be honest. I’d expected it to take weeks and more weeks, but my schedule found a way. And I’m already one whole episode into season 2 of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which was just uploaded last Friday. For me, this counts as “on a roll”.

Right this way for spoiler-tastic thoughts about Daredevil, The Man Without Cheer…

“Zootopia”: Welcome to the Harerdome

April 18, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Zootopia!

If you refuse to see it in theaters, the “sloth trailer” alone is a hoot. I can only imagine how excruciating that scene probably was to animate using, like, a hundred times as many frames per movement.

The worldwide phenomenon about two unique individuals from very different worlds — one who’s itching for justice, one who’s given some thought to law enforcement — passed $300 million this weekend at the U.S. box office and proved major studios are still capable of putting out product that can contemplate serious topics even while reveling in visual flair and not shying away from moments of intensity or even a few tears.

No, not the one with the angry costumed guys in it.

Right this way for a few words about Disney’s “Zootopia”!

“Race”: For Your Next Black History Month Consideration

April 5, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Race!

It’s one of those MCC traditions dating back to our humble beginnings nearly four years ago: if I see a movie in theaters, it gets an entry. My wife and I saw the Jesse Owens biopic Race near the end of Black History Month, but the requisite write-up kept getting pushed back as I let other topics cut in line to stall for time while I thought through what I wanted to type. Right now it’s down to its last hundred American screens, but with the home video release scheduled for May 31st, we can all pretend this is actually an advance review and I’m more of a DVD vanguard than a procrastinator.

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The One With “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” In It

March 30, 2016 By in Comics/Lit, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Batman v. Superman!

Which grim-‘n’-gritty breakfast mascot’s product do you think should win: Batman Chocolate Strawberry cereal or Superman Caramel Crunch cereal? Both are real things now in stores, and they’re banking on this movie to sell them somehow.

Look, everyone else online had a turn venting about Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice the past few days, so I want my turn now. The TL;DR version:

* Not the worst Zack Snyder film ever
* Definitely not the worst super-hero film ever
* It had good things in it
* The good things were outnumbered
* I don’t actively root against DC’s films to fail, but I’m not gonna mollycoddle them with blind adulation, because superheroes are not my religion
* Filmmakers still don’t get Superman
* This movie is more about superpowers than about superheroes
* I’ve been collecting comics for 37 years and I’m 98% certain I’m not this film’s target audience
* If Monday night’s Supergirl/The Flash crossover was an Earth-1 team-up, BvS is its Earth-3 doppelgänger

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“Kung Fu Panda 3”: Eats Yaks & Leaves

March 6, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Kung Fu Panda 3!

“Dad, do you think they’ll let me present an award at next year’s Oscars? Or at least the Kids Choice Awards?”

It’s post-Oscar season movie time! That inevitable season when the major studios helpfully fill up theaters with numerous counterprogramming choices, by which I mean flicks that will never, ever win quality-based awards but might just make a buck or two off those moviegoers who couldn’t care less about the overwrought film-award pomposity. Usually when you see an animated release on the post-Christmas slate, it’s one that was made overseas for twenty bucks that would’ve gone to straight-to-video if the studio weren’t desperate for some first-quarter earnings on their P&L sheets.

So I was surprised to see Kung Fu Panda 3 dumped into a wintertime slot. I barely remember anything about the second one except an impressive ship crash and Gary Oldman’s lame evil peacock, but the original was an eye-popping martial-arts spectacular that proved to be one of Jack Black’s best-ever vehicles and one of my top five Dreamworks Animation films to date. I was hoping the third would be more like the first.

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MCC Home Video Scorecard #7: Oscar Prep Time

February 28, 2016 By in Movies/Films/Flicks, TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Bridge of Spies!

Oscar champ Tom Hanks weaves through an argumentative viewing public with past nominees Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone) and Alan Alda (The Aviator) in Steven Spielberg’s Bridge of Spies.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: the recurring feature that’s me jotting down capsule-sized notes about Stuff I Recently Watched at home. In this batch: we prepare for Sunday night’s Academy Awards ceremony starring Chris Rock and a crowd of soon-to-be-flabbergasted white folks with brief notes on the final Best Picture nominee, one nominee in other categories, and one tiny overlooked film that would make a great double feature with one of the other Best Picture nominees.

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