MCC 2015 Food Photo Marathon #4: Half One Thing, Half Another

Acapulco Burrito!

Our very special MCC extended interlude continues!

Four out of every five business days I bring a home-assembly turkey-‘n’-cheese sandwich to work for lunch. It’s one of the little ways we cut budget corners so we can set aside more disposable income for conventions, vacations, comics, movie tickets, and so on. Spending eight or ten bucks a day on lunch works out to $40-$50/week, or $160-$250/ month, or $1,920-$3,000/year. That’s an awful lot of geek merchandise and travel frills to leave behind. So cheap sack lunches are the rule of my routine.

Once a week I do lunch out with a coworker. On extremely rare occasions, when I’m absolutely sick and tired of Oscar Meyer, and we didn’t have any leftovers in the fridge that I could bring to work and nuke, then I might go out alone for a bite. Pictured above from one such outing is a burrito topped with chili sauce and chili con queso, garnished by a small sidekick of salad, all from a Mexican place called Acapulco Joe’s. I’d been wanting to try it for years, but I kept forgetting it was there. From the dingy decor and rustic exterior, I hadn’t expected an arty presentation that looks like something Two-Face would order from his personal crime chef.

Right this way for a half of a different color!

MCC 2015 Food Photo Marathon #2: A Day at Castleton Square

Pinkberry!

Our very special MCC extended interlude continues!

Dateline: January 31, 2015. As part of our annual pilgrimage to see the Oscar-Nominated Live-Action and Animated Shorts, my wife and I have to travel up north to Keystone Fashion Mall, home of Keystone Art Cinema, the only art-house theater in Indianapolis, a long drive from our side of town. The Fashion Mall overhauled their food court a few years ago into a much wider, brighter, more modern space with newer, trendier dining options replacing several of the sort of meat-scoops-on-rice joints that rule all the other malls in town.

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MCC 2015 Food Photo Marathon #1: A “Chopped” Inspired Birthday

[Due to circumstances entirely under our control, we here at Midlife Crisis Crossover are taking a much-needed getaway for reasons that should be easy for any longtime readers to guess. Trust me when I say we’ll have plenty of new stories to share upon our return. We ask for your prayers and kind hopes that the preceding statement doesn’t turn out to be grim foreshadowing to a brutal cautionary tale.

So! While we’re retreating, recharging, renewing, rejuvenating, and restocking our production stations, please enjoy the next several daily entries’ worth of Fun Moments in Food from our past fifteen months. As a proud “nicheless” blog, MCC skips around from topic to topic depending on where all the whims lead, so if this all-foodie salute isn’t your favorite thing ever, rest assured we’ll get back to geek stuff and/or normal stuff viewed through geek lenses rather shortly. Updates as they occur. Enjoy!]

Shrimp Ceviche!

Dateline: my birthday, May 2014. My mom wanted to take us out to dinner. I picked a Mexican place in Brownsburg called Tequila Sunrise for two reasons: one, I was in the mood for it. Two: their menu items contained words we’ve never heard beyond episodes of Chopped.

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Saturday Night’s Not All Right for Fast Food

Icky Dump

Three Saturdays ago my wife and I returned to town after a long, long drive and had neither energy nor willpower to cook supper at home. We weren’t in the mood to wait 60-120 minutes for a table at your Olive Garden/Red Lobster level of weekend hotspots. We’d already racked up a number of single-day expenses and were neither amenable nor properly dressed to go overspend on a nicer, classier, posher, less crowded establishment. So we decided to stop for fast food.

On a Saturday night. I know better than this.

When things went south, they set off a series of flashbacks to my previous career track and reminded me exactly why I should know better.

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How Are YOU Celebrating National Donut Day?

Giant Amish Donut!

The monstrous “Amish donut” was offered for breakfast at the 2014 Indiana State Fair. It had enough calories to power you through a month of Olympic events, or you could use it as a spare golf cart tire.

It’s that time of year again! This coming Friday, June 5th, will be National Donut Day, the greatest non-federal holiday that Hallmark wishes they had invented. Imagine an entire line of National Donut Day greeting cards, with a saccharine message inside and an edible sugary breading on the outside. If Hallmark could spin it expertly enough, they could rake in billions and afford to ditch some of their fake calendar-padding celebrations.

Right this way for a very special MCC salute to donuts!

Birthday 43: a Road Trip for Comics, Art, and History

Freimann Square Park!

Freimann Square Park, an eminently photogenic city block in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

It’s that time of year again! As of today I’m now 43 years old and trying not to obsess on the fact that I know at least three different guys who died at that exact age, including a near-forgotten high school acquaintance who popped up in last Thursday’s Obituaries section of the local paper.

…CUT. Forget that paragraph. Maybe we’ll set that aside for another, drearier time. Let’s start over.

For the last few years, my wife and I have spent our respective birthdays together finding some new place or attraction to visit as a one-day road trip — partly as an excuse to spend time together on this most wondrous day, partly to explore areas of Indiana we’ve never experienced before. My 2015 birthday destination of choice: the city of Fort Wayne, some 100+ miles northeast of here. It’s home to several manufacturing concerns, one major insurance company, a selection of buildings with historical importance to the locals, and a small comic book convention I’d never heard of before this year. We checked out the area, we found ways to enjoy ourselves, we got some much-needed exercise, and we took photos.

Right this way for the things I just said there would be!

2014 Road Trip Photos #30: Roger and Me

Ebert and me!

Imagine it: a syndicated series called Ebert & Golden and the Movies. Every episode would’ve been thirty minutes of Ebert talking cinema and me nodding my head, taking notes, and silently scrunching up my face if I disagreed.

Welcome to my third annual Roger Ebert entry!

On the occasion of the noted film critic’s passing on April 4, 2013, I wrote at length about the impact he and his partner/rival/dear friend Gene Siskel had on me at an impressionable age. In 2014 I wrote about Steve James’ documentary Life Itself, which unexpectedly became a chronicle of Ebert’s final days as cancer took its toll. (We’ve also visited the Chicago theater named after Siskel, but that doesn’t count. Wrong guy.)

Here we are again with another Ebert tribute after a brief stopover in his hometown. We weren’t even supposed to be there that day.

Right this way for more of that famous thumb!

First Teaser Pic Leaked for “Ronald vs. Hamburglar: Dawn of Grease”

New52 Hamburglar!

I worked for McDonald’s for twelve years and wouldn’t be who or what I am today without the experience, but the place keeps getting funnier every time I see them try something different.

In the past week the venerable fast food behemoth had announced plans to ditch several superfluous menu items, add a few new superfluous items, test a McDonald’s delivery service, and consider raising its workers’ wages across the board so they’ll have an excuse to double their prices. Today the veil of secrecy was lifted on an upcoming TV project in which the company has paid an ad agency to reboot the Hamburglar for a 21st-century audience, maybe because his copyright was about to expire and Arby’s was ready to make a play for him.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #28: The Last Visions of St. Paul

Wabasha Street Caves: the entrance!

Welcome to the wonderful world of urban spelunking!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

Day Six had taken us from the other twin cities of Fargo/Moorhead to a Minneapolis city park with its own 53-foot waterfall, and would end for the evening in Wisconsin. Before we left Minnesota’s Twin Cities for the year, we had one final appointment to keep on Thursday night for a tour that sounded interesting and offered limited windows of opportunity, but came with a catch that we weren’t aware of till after we arrived.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #22: Platter 9 from Outer Space

Space Aliens!

Day Five took us to Fargo around lunchtime. Down the street from the Visitors Center was a restaurant that really spoke to us despite their authentic translator problems.

Right this way for your featured selections from the sci-fi food club!

2014 Road Trip Photos #5: You Can’t Spell “Psychedelic” Without “Deli”

Ella's Deli!

You are about to enter another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of food.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

Our Day One drive through Wisconsin took us in the late afternoon from downtown Milwaukee to the state capital of Madison. We’d driven through Wisconsin in 2006 and 2009, but this was our first time detouring in Madison’s direction. If you’re only looking for roadside oddities, nearly everything on their to-do list is located along a five-mile stretch of Washington Avenue running diagonally southwest-to-northeast between Lake Monona and Lake Mendota. Our hotel was at the northeast end; the State Capitol was at the southwest end. Plotting directions was a cinch.

Between the two endpoints was our dinner destination, Ella’s Deli and Ice Cream Parlor, all decked out like a TGIFriday’s hoarding novelty antiques.

Right this way for a lavishly eye-popping Day-Glo extravaganza!

Pacifying the Pumpkin Police

Pumpkin Donut!

The scene above was part of today’s breakfast: a pumpkin donut. Only because it’s that time of year when every American has a pumpkin quota to fulfill. My part is done. I’m legally free to move on and go back to eating normal food in the flavors I like.

Every year the same product wave pummels all consumer shorelines: pumpkins are in, everything else is out. Pumpkin flavors permeate and overwhelm every conceivable grocery item, restaurant dish, and miscellaneous product or service. Looking away or hiding are futile defenses because pumpkin surrounds you in every direction from your personal space to the horizon. You’ll never be allowed to exit autumn until and unless you surrender to the will of Big Pumpkin.

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Our 2006 Road Trip, Part 6: The Worst Pirate-Themed Anything of All Time

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

Day 2: Sunday, July 23rd (continued)

After a long, hard day of amusement and soaking came another long-preplanned stop, dinner at a restaurant named Crabby’s Seafood Buffet. Not just all-you-can-eat seafood: every ad we saw from the Internet to brochures to local posters pictured a pair of clean-cut geeks pretending to be surly pirates in satin, posing beneath a caption vowing “Free Pirate Battle!” This promise was in every single ad we saw, more of a mantra than a motto. To us, this sounded like Medieval Times with a different angle and more food. We expected to improvise our meals on the run all vacation long, but Crabby’s was the only restaurant specified on our itinerary because it just sounded that promising. They even give each patron their own paper pirate hat to wear all through the meal. As with the Jelly Belly Factory, my son protested his hat and refused to don it.

We, on the other hand…

Crabby's

Beyond these doors were sights that would’ve made Spongebob Squarepants shred himself with fury.

Regarding the meal that spelt DOOM for us landlubbers…

2013 Road Trip Photos #14: It’s Chinatown!

After spending the morning of Day Four stalled on the interstate and all afternoon in Quincy, we spent the early evening in Boston’s version of Chinatown. It’s much smaller than its counterpart we visited in Manhattan in 2011, and a little less tailored to nosy tourists (by which I mean I still haven’t gotten over how Manhattan’s Chinatown had information kiosks and a large directory in the middle), but Boston’s has its own way of doing things.

Chinatown Gate, Boston

Step beyond the gate into another realm!

Empty Nest, Week 6: a Mission of Mercy and Meat

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: in mid-August my son moved into his own apartment up at college, living alone for the first time. Naturally we underwent various bouts of grief, panic, pacing back and forth, imagined scenarios of endless possible disasters, and a sort of loving numbness that I wouldn’t necessarily call acceptance.

Last weekend my wife and I paid him a visit and took him out to lunch at a local joint recommended by people we trust. Thus we declared Saturday burger time at a local oxymoron named the Triple XXX Family Restaurant.

Triple XXX Family Restaurant, West Lafayette, Indiana

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Chicago Photo Tribute #4: a Few of Our Favorite Little Places

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

[This coming] weekend is the fourth annual Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo (that “C2E2″ thing I won’t shut up about) at Chicago’s McCormick Place convention center, which my wife and I will be attending for our third time. As a tribute to this fascinating city, and an intro to C2E2 newcomers to provide ideas of what else Chicago has to offer while they’re in town, a few of this week’s posts will be dedicated to out experiences in the Windy City when we’re not gleefully clustered indoors with thousands of other comics and sci-fi fans.

Part One was worm’s-eye views of the skyscrapers and other upward fixtures about town. Part Two looked at Chicago from other angles. Part Three was our art appreciation festival. Today in Part Four: some of the local businesses that caught our attention and imaginations.

When you mention Chicago to anyone who’s ever been there, any restaurant discussion inevitably turns to deep-dish pizza. Chicago has no shortage of pizza places, and I’m sure everyone has their favorite. One of their largest, most well-known chains is Giordano’s. I’d trade half the nationwide pizza franchises in Indianapolis for a Giordano’s near us.

Pictured below: a pie of my own choosing, topped with sausage and anchovies. I’m the only person I know who stomachs anchovies, steeped as they are in salty richness.

Giordano's Pizza, anchovies, Chicago

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Subway’s Scandalous Inconsistent Breadmaking: What Else Are They Hiding?

Times Square visitors were warned to be on the lookout for rogue eleven-inch sandwiches impersonating cute, innocent footlongs.

Today Subway, the world’s fastest growing lunchmeat sandwich company, joined the sad but worldwide fraternity of restaurants whose only membership requirement is the awesome specter of a PR fiasco.

Mainstream news outlets reported an alleged Australian Facebook vandal sharing an incriminating photo of a “footlong” Subway sandwich next to a ruler measuring its length at a mere eleven inches. These same news outlets failed to ask the bigger question in my mind: shouldn’t a continent that primarily uses the metric system be offering “meterlong” sandwiches? I’d consider moving there.

Subway fans were appalled at this covert product reduction that the company allegedly perpetrated right under their noses. All those paid-for inches of fast food, withheld from countless sandwiches sold in good faith, were clearly a misdeed committed by greedy corporate one-percenters. Millions of enraged citizens responded by driving like mad to the Subway next door to their house, buying a footlong, measuring it, Instagramming the results with an indignant caption, and eating it anyway.

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2012 Road Trip Photos #2: Truman’s Grave, Bobo’s Drive-In, and Our Intro to Smashburger

Day One continued onward from Vandalia, out of Illinois and into Missouri. We’ve seen bits and pieces of St. Louis in the past, so we didn’t schedule a stop within city limits. Instead we headed west to St. Charles, where we stopped for lunch at a chain unfamiliar to us called Smashburger. It took us a few minutes to discern their road sign from afar because it looked like a GameStop. When we noticed that the strip mall had two such logos, we looked more closely and realized only one of them was a GameStop.

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Indianapolis Food Trucks Topple Tyrants, Establish Benign Well-Fed Regimes (Part 4 of 3)

Previously I shared my impressions of sixteen different competitors in the burgeoning field of Indianapolis food truckery, still available in parts one, two, and three. These wondrous, infrequently convenient providers still enliven many a humdrum rat-race weekday…and they won’t stop multiplying.

In the month that’s passed since the conclusion of the trilogy, I’ve had the pleasure of doing business with four more trucks, all worth hunting down.

Hoosier Fat Daddy’s Food Bus — Some trucks too closely resemble delivery trucks and repair services. I’m embarrassed how many times I’ve looked out the window and convinced myself I’ve spotted a new truck, only to realize it’s just a crew of linemen from Indianapolis Power and Light. The HFD distinctive purple bus doesn’t share that problem. Their meat loaf sliders were right up my alley, mostly because I’m the only member of my household who’ll eat meat loaf, a rare treat in my eyes because of meat loaf deprivation. The Barney-colored purveyor of cuisine Americana also offer rib tips and turkey legs, for those seeking traditional fare in non-slider formats.

Chuck Wagon Deli — As one of the few people on Earth who winces whenever he sees a Subway sign (long story), I had low expectations when approaching the very nicely painted truck that offers deli sandwiches, something I rarely crave because I’ve eaten cold turkey sandwiches for lunch three days a week for over a decade. Then I found out that a six-inch extra-wide jam-packed fully flavorful Philly cheesesteak and a bag of chips would only set me back $4.50. I was also impressed at their selection of nearly a dozen different sandwiches. Most food trucks are lucky to have half that much variety. For the space of one meal, I recanted my anti-sub hate and mentally awarded them five stars out of four.

Circle City Spuds — Also not normally exciting to me: baked potatoes. My wife can’t get enough of them. I can. I gave Circle City Spuds a shot nonetheless, and found myself the proud, temporary owner of a fresh, hot potato topped with BBQ pulled pork and macaroni-‘n’-cheese. As toppings. Yes, it wasn’t pretty. I didn’t care. If it helps, some of their varieties contain healthy vegetables, including but not limited to broccoli. You can enjoy those while I go back to reminiscing about my amazing mac-‘n’-pork potato of death.

Some of This, Some of That — At last, after several timing failures, SOTSOT finally stopped by on a day when I could avail myself of their Cajun fare. I take it as a good sign that they’ve upgraded to a larger truck and ditched their original illegible logo in favor of bright red boldness that fairly glows from across the street. I grumbled as I waited one-third of my half-hour lunch break for them to whip up a sausage po’boy, but it was so generous and pretty, I forgave them as I carried it back to work amidst stares from jealous passersby. It was one of the sloppiest food-truck dishes I’ve had to date, but I can live with that.

With those, my personal food-truck sampling total now stands at twenty. I know more trucks are out there somewhere, plying their wares in the wrong parts of the city and intentionally avoiding my money. FINE. Suit yourselves. I’ll just be over here lamenting what might have been and still avoiding Subway as much as possible.

Indianapolis Food Trucks Cure Pandemics, Negotiate Worldwide Economic Stability (Part 3 of 3)

Concluding my recollections of what our local food trucks have done for me. My experiences with the following trucks weren’t exactly scarring, but arguably had margin for improvement. Some cases may have been singular events unlike the average customer’s experience; others may simply not be my cup of tea.

Scratchtruck — Our side of downtown offers very few oases for large, fast burgers. Make no mistake, I was grateful for the chance to try their 1/3-pound Scratch Burgers, topped with bacon marmalade, arugula and gorgonzola. It was worth the money and deserves some repeat business. My fries, which cooled off in no time flat, were less demanding of an encore.

West Coast Tacos — The granddaddy of all trucks, the one that started it all here in Indy. They were the first to specialize in imaginative tacos bereft of cheese, lettuce, or tomatoes. They’re absolutely not a Taco Bell homage. Unfortunately, when I tried three varieties in one meal, the meat on my chicken teriyaki taco tasted as though it had been sitting in a dry marinating pan for hours. As someone who once worked at McDonald’s during a time when they failed at venturing into the fajita market, I know a thing or two about dry marinating pans and the meat they ruin. If I’m wrong and that texture was intentional, then this isn’t my thing after all.

Molly’s Great Chicago Fire — Chicago-style hot dogs with tons of toppings. Great toppings and decent deli-style buns, but on a good day our downtown also has hot dog carts with same-size dogs for half the price. They’re the only truck I know with a breakfast menu (my all-time favorite food group), but I’ve never seen them around in the morning.

Der Pretzel Wagen — I support the concept of pretzels presented in various wondrous forms. My pretzel dogs were great, but when der Wagenmeister asked if I wanted any mustard, I had the audacity to ask for mustard…and ketchup. I could feel the temperature in the air between us drop fifteen degrees as he searched the truck for a packet with such a look. In my defense, I don’t insist on ketchup for every hot dog I eat. I almost never dump it on burgers or fries. Sometimes I’m just in a weird mood and don’t feel responsible for upholding everyone else’s high-falutin’ culinary standards. Besides, if I really wanted to gauche it up, I would’ve asked for Cheez Whiz, or maybe grape jelly.

Groovy Guys Gourmet Fries — Nacho fries, pizza fries, and other variations in the topped-fries genre. The top layer of my steak-‘n’-cheese fries was a small, delectable meal. Below the surface, all that remained were ordinary fries. I had hoped in vain for total meat saturation. They also offered deluxe fry dips such as hummus and sesame ginger sauce — something I should try next time, perhaps, but not as a main dish. I’ll need to pack a sandwich that day.

The following trucks have parked nearby but found ways for me to miss them anyway:

Some of This, Some of That — The first couple times they stopped by, their logo was so hard to read that I couldn’t discern their name well enough from my floor to google them for details. Eventually I caught the name and learned they’re another Cajun truck. I wouldn’t mind trying them, but they’ve mastered the art of hanging out only on days when I have no extra money. That bad timing is totally not their fault, unless they have spy sensors in my wallet and a cruel sense of humor.

Side Wok Dumplings — The first time I noticed them out front, a police car later double-parked near them with lights flashing and hung out for quite a while. The next time they appeared, the sign on their side had been removed. I haven’t seen them since. Their last tweet was five months ago. I’m betting somewhere out there is a great anecdote that connects those sketchy details.

Fat Sammies — An Italian food truck should be a saucy, intoxicating experience. I wish I knew. They pulled away just as I was walking toward them with cash on hand and appetite in stomach. This happened twice. The second time, it was 12:30 on a Friday. As of this writing their last tweet was four months ago. I sense something is amiss.

The list presented in this three-part miniseries is by no means complete. I’m aware of a few trucks that stake out territories outside downtown, and not just in the suburbs. I’ve found this is the biggest drawback to the food truck concept: if you know a specific truck you want to sample, or if you grow too attached to a great one, then you may have to hunt them down. Their collective, lively Twitter presence is a boon for keeping fans and foodies informed of their whereabouts, as are food-truck locator sites such as Roaming Hunger or TruxMap.

More often than not, you’ll have to be patient and wait for them to appear unto you as a pleasant surprise. I like to think the stronger and more popular among them are here to stay. Just the same, check ’em out when the opportunity arises, before a food truck glut begins culling more of the herd…or worse, before someone gives Unigov a reason to brainstorm harsh new rules and regulations to appease their brick-‘n’-mortar competition.