Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 7 of 10: Mandatory Amusement Park

March 26, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Anne + Daffy!

Once upon a time, a fake bomb in a crowded public area didn’t cause widespread panic.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps.

If you followed along with our 2003 road trip, you’ll recall we spent one day that week escaping the traditional tourist attractions and historical significance of our nation’s capital to spend a day out of town at a Six Flags amusement park for my son’s sake. One year later, this is us repeating what worked pretty well the first time.

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“Logan”: The Old Man and the Series

March 26, 2017 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Logan!

“Wow, Cyclops is an even bigger jerk in the comics. Maybe I should give these a chance after all.”

Midlife Crisis Crossover calls Logan the Greatest Wolverine Solo Movie of All Time!

That’s not a hard claim to make after the soggy mishmash of X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the mostly not-bad The Wolverine, a Japanese action-adventure yarn that held up well until the final boss battle pitted Our Hero against a vengeful geezer-mech. The latter’s director James Mangold reunites with The Hugh Jackman for one last assembly with Marvel’s once-merry mutants in what may be the X-Men film least likely to sell a single action figure.

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Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 6 of 10: Bathing with the Maid of the Mist

March 23, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Anne + Niagara!

Welcome to the wild, wonderful, wet world of waterfall watchers!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps.

When you’re in the Niagara Falls area, multiple viewing angles are possible — from above, from the bottom, or from a distance. On a normal day, they’re all virtual water rides, especially the literal option.

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Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 5 of 10: Soaking in the Cave of the Winds

March 20, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Bridal Veil Falls!

Come on, folks, single file up to the falls. There’ll be plenty of chances for everyone to feel the deluge!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps.

On our November 2015 trip to Colorado Springs I spent a few hours at an attraction near Manitou Springs called the Cave of the Winds. It was a genuine cave in which I felt actual winds, but it wasn’t my first “Cave of the Winds”. At long last we backtrack to our first encounter with that label on the other side of America.

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More Than Flowers at the Indiana Flower & Patio Show 2017

March 19, 2017 By in Indiana Tags: , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
giraffe and greens!

If this giraffe were real, these plants could kiss their leaves goodbye.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Twice per year my wife and I escort her grandmother to one of two special events at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. Each November we visit the Indiana Christmas Gift and Hobby Show. Each March the highlight of her month is the Indiana Flower & Patio Show, which features numerous displays of colorful flora, booths where gardeners and homeowners can peruse and pick out their new seeds, plants, implements, and accoutrements for tending and cultivating their yards in the forthcoming spring and summer.

This weekend was that time again! After our previous jaunts in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016, once more we walked the springtime labyrinth at the Indiana State Fairgrounds with the intrepid Mamaw, showing her the sights and navigating the nature-loving crowds.

…and every year we come home with at least two entries’ worth of photos — one starring the flowers and one featuring the other outdoor decorations and often irrelevant vendors whose wares are off-topic but allowed in the doors anyway. Sometimes we don’t mind so much, especially if their product is food.

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Flowers Are Pretty 5: The Final Blooming?

March 18, 2017 By in Indiana Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Red Yellow Purple!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Twice per year my wife and I escort her grandmother to one of two special events at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. Each November we visit the Indiana Christmas Gift and Hobby Show. Each March the highlight of her month is the Indiana Flower & Patio Show, which features numerous displays of colorful flora, booths where gardeners and homeowners can peruse and pick out their new seeds, plants, implements, and accoutrements for tending and cultivating their yards in the forthcoming spring and summer. Assorted horticulturists and lawn care companies show off bouquets, sample gardens, and ostentatious flowers you’ll wish you owned.

This weekend was that time again! After our previous jaunts in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016, once more we walked the springtime labyrinth at the Indiana State Fairgrounds with the intrepid Mamaw, showing her the sights and navigating the nature-loving crowds. Thankfully spraining my knee last Saturday didn’t interfere with my wheelchair chauffeur duties. Mamaw, on the other hand, expressed some concern about how many more times we’ll get to share this outing. She’s 91 years old, isn’t beautifying the plots outside her house as much as she used to, and is finding the sensory overload more exhausting than ever.

She was also disappointed that her brother — a mere eightysomething whippersnapper — has exited his role working security at the show after its ownership changed hands last year. Now that he’s no longer hooking her up with free passes, she’s disappointed that we have to (*gasp*) pay our own way into the show. We assured her this isn’t a problem for us. It’s not an upper-class political fundraiser. As long as she’s still interested in attending her annual Super Bowl, we’re happy to keep seeing her there.

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Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 4 of 10: The Cannons of Niagara

March 17, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Fort Niagara!

Because someone has to keep the peace on Lake Ontario.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps.

Of the four Great Lakes we’ve visited, Lake Ontario was the only one considered a strategic location worthy of a military outpost by both the French and the British back in the eighteenth century. For fans of natural attractions and American history — you can bet my wife qualifies — Fort Niagara State Park is a logical addition to your upstate New York vacation itinerary.

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Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 3 of 10: Another Great Lake, Another Gray Sky

March 16, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Bullseye Returns!

Hi, kids! I’m Bullseye the Target Dog! You might remember me from our 2003 road trip! I’m back and I bring you the gift of bright colors!


Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps.

I’m not sure how it works in normal families. If unpleasant weather threatens to shroud their vacation scenery in visual mediocrity, maybe they call the whole thing off, take advantage of their unreasonably flexible lifestyles, and reschedule everything for a different week in hopes that the sun will return and bask their photos in a luxurious, magazine-quality aura. We wouldn’t know.

But this was the week we reserved for vacation, and these were the results Mother Nature gave us. Sometimes God’s Creation has to have unpretty off days so we can appreciate the beautiful ones all the more. And sometimes you have to dig through the superficial layers and make the moment special yourself even if the sun has flunked its dress rehearsal.

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The View from Atop the Badlands (and 1,500 Entries)

March 15, 2017 By in Meta, Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Badlands!

Call it “South Dakota Gothic”. Photo taken by my son, age 14 at the time and too happy to stay off-camera whenever we’d let him.

Dateline: July 2009. Our road trip east across the length of South Dakota took us to Badlands National Park, which is end-to-end entirely made of geology and panoramas and tourist taking turns whispering, “Whoa.” The above photo from that particular road-trip collection is one of several I’ve never shared online before now. The wide, wondrous view from atop one of the Badlands’ many peaks has come to mind more than once today, least of which was a late showing of Logan in which Our Heroes take their own road trip up through the Dakotas and enjoy a scene in these familiar surroundings. To be honest, said scene was set in North Dakota, not South, but the coloration, texture, and height are identical. And in our case we saw a lot less bleeding. Otherwise, close enough.

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Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 2 of 10: Niagara Falls!

March 13, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Niagara and Horseshoe!

I’d considered naming this chapter “NIAGARA FALLS! Slowly We Turned…” but maybe three readers would get it, and none of you under 40.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps.

Spoiler in our lead photo: we got to Niagara Falls! Our MCC remastering of the original 2004 travelog continues…

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Our Hall of Heroes Comic Con 2017 Photo Gallery

March 11, 2017 By in Conventions & Events, Indiana Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
MST3K Mads!

Say hi to the roadshow cast from Manos: The Jazz Hands of Fate.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: last May my wife and I traveled three hours north to the town of Elkhart to visit the Hall of Heroes Museum, an impressive collection of toys, comics, merchandise, and movie memorabilia. We also walked along their Main Street downtown, enjoyed ourselves despite the unseasonably bitter temperatures, and expressed hopes of returning one day.

Today was that day. This weekend museum owner Allen Stewart oversaw the first annual Hall of Heroes Comic Con, a natural extension of his longtime hobbies and all our favorite comic cons where we’ve encountered his company’s booth on multiple occasions. Thanks to the event explosion we’ve been enjoying in or near Indianapolis over the past four years, we’ve had chances to attend more shows and meet more creators and actors than in all our previous forty Hoosier years combined. We can’t attend every show ever, but we’ll make the time and the drive if something or someone nails our interests.

For me, Stewart and his team did exactly that. Pictured above at left is Frank Conniff, a.k.a. TV’s Frank from Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of my all-time favorite TV series. At right is Trace Beaulieu, better known as TV’s Frank’s nefarious boss Dr. Clayton Forrester, and the original voice of Crow T. Robot. We previously met him at C2E2 2015, but this is a far better photo, and not just because it has TV’s Frank in it. Beyond meeting Joel Hodgson at Indy Pop Con 2014 and Mike, Kevin, Bill, and Mary Jo in St. Louis in 2000, the esteemed Mr. Conniff was the only major cast member I hadn’t met yet.

For that alone, for giving me the unexpected opportunity to complete the autograph set on my copy of The MST3K Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, I deem this a fantastic weekend, 12/10 hope to visit yet again someday.

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Our 2004 Road Trip, Part 1 of 10: Erie and Grey

March 10, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Danger No Swimming!

Scenes like this are why no one lets us design travel brochures.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: once upon a time in 2004, Anne and I got married and had a honeymoon! A week later, we (and my son) embarked on our fifth annual road trip.

Welcome to the first installment of another special MCC miniseries, representing the original travelogue from our first vacation as a capital-F Family: a drive northeast from Indianapolis up to see the watery wonders of Niagara Falls and its adjacent tourist traps. Some hindsight editing will be included along the way as part of the “special edition” processing.

Prior to 2006 all our amateur photography depended on 35m cameras, back in the day when finished film rolls had to be dropped off for developing and whose pics then had to be scanned using the terrible tech available on our low budget at the time, then uploaded via miserable AOL 56K modem. For years I hated hated HATED scanning under those conditions, which means our oldest internet friends who already read what Anne and I wrote have never seen any of the photos that’ll be newly shared throughout these ten chapters. Very little about these entries will approach 1080p quality. Back in our day, this is what history looked like. When these were first posted, they were as much about the writing as they were about the pics. That’s why two of the ten chapters will contain more words than pictures, if you need such an advance warning. They’re our stories to tell nonetheless, captured in our memories if not by our shutter clicks.

Enjoy!

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The Adventures of Alex & Maggie and Their Flighty Sidekick Supergirl

March 10, 2017 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Supergirl!

“Hey, everybody, come look! Alex and Maggie did a cute thing again! Awwww, I love their show!”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: my wife and I thought so highly of that new CBS series Supergirl that we met four of its stars at two different events last year — Mehcad Brooks and Peter Facinelli at Metropolis’ Superman Celebration; and before that, Chyler Leigh and the Melissa Benoist at Chicago’s C2E2. Fun folks from a fun show.

At launch, Supergirl was a bright, optimistic series about one of the most frequently mishandled members of the Superman family, of which Anne has been a lifelong fan. As an adult she’s been to the Superman Celebration five times with me; as a girl she read all the Superman-related books she could find at our local library and watched Superman: The Movie on videodisc so many times that she memorized it. Literally. All of it. Could recite the entire movie line-for-line from beginning to end. She never could say the same for Supergirl’s movie, which was…well, I haven’t watched it in thirty years, so I can’t fairly say how it ranks compared to Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, but it’s down there. She hasn’t kept up with any of DC Comics’ other TV shows since Smallville, but she was intrigued at the idea and generally happy with season one. Same went for me, despite the intermittent bits of cheesiness I was fine with shrugged off.

Then the series moved to The CW.

(Housekeeping note up front: this entry dives into developments from the March 6th episode. Consider this your courtesy spoiler warning.)

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Sand Getting Everywhere: Our 2004 Road Trip Honeymoon Prelude

March 7, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Anne in Sand!

At last, no more squabbling relatives, no more ritual expectations, no more formal wear, and best of all, no more wedding planning ever again. NEVER EVER EVER.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: twelve years ago, before we went on vacation, Anne and I got married!

The guests had left earlier than expected and effectively canceled the scene where we were supposed to walk to my car through a hail of blown bubbles. After cleanup the bride and groom made a hasty retreat, dropped off all the gifts at home, then sped north to our honeymoon destination that was absolutely not an exotic tropical island resort, though portions of it bore faint resemblance to one in our humble eyes.

Ours was a most economical wedding experience partly by circumstance but mostly by preference. Neither of us comes from families in a position to drop several thousand bucks in one place on any object or experience ever. Anne’s dress, which I adored to pieces, was a great find at JCPenney. My attire was cobbled together piecemeal at Value City, as I’ve never owned a full, matching suit in my life, not even now in 2017. Our wedding rings were a Black Friday purchase I’d scored a month before I proposed. Everything from church to flowers to wedding planner to all the other mandatory expenses –- which I can’t remember because I was the groom –- added up to a few hundred at most. Anne and I already each had a failed marriage on our respective rap sheets and were absolutely in agreement and okay with taking the lo-fi route all the way. I promise you it can be done, kids.

Our big honeymoon plan was to revisit our old friend Lake Michigan, last seen on our 2002 road trip to Grand Rapids. And we knew at least one place on the Indiana side with a beach and a view.

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Raggedy Anne and Randy: Our 2004 Road Trip Wedding Prologue

March 6, 2017 By in Meta, Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Goldens!

Hi! We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we did this one time.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: in recent weeks we’ve been sharing the stories of our annual road trips that we undertook before I launched MCC in April 2012. Starting from the beginning and working our way forward, so far we’ve covered 1999 to 2003. Making the leap to 2004 first requires a digression for an important milestone.

A while back we reprinted the he-said-she-said tale of our relationship in Part One and Part Two of a special two-part miniseries. After seventeen years of knowing each other as classmates, coworkers, neighbors, best friends, and eventually an official Dating Couple, in July 2004 Anne and I became husband and wife and our world was never the same, except for the part where we still did road trips every year.

The following is a retelling of our blessed, frequently awkward wedding day, a time of joy and music and accidents, two weeks before we embarked on that year’s fun, frequently awkward journey. The following essay was previously shared with a small circle of friends but has been given the “special edition” treatment for archiving here on MCC.

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Lego. Batman. Movie. Three Products in One!

March 5, 2017 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Lego Batman Movie!

Sneak preview of Lego Batman arriving on the red carpet at next year’s People’s Choice Awards.

(Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na)
LEEEGOOO!
(Na na na na na na na na na na na na)
BAAATMAAAN!
(Na na na na na na na na na na na na)
MOOOVIEEE!
(Na na na na na na na na na na na na)
LEGO! BATMAN! MOVIE!
(Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na)
LEGO! BATMAN! MOVIE!
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dada-da-da-da-da!
TOY AAAAAAAAD!

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Our 2003 Road Trip, Part 7 of 7: This Americana Life

March 2, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
children's television!

Oscar the Grouch! Mr. Rogers! Howdy Doody! The Flintstones! Rocky and Bullwinkle! Bugs Bunny! Face it, true believer — this museum’s got ’em all!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: our fifth annual road trip became our first family road trip as we jettisoned our convention plans and took my son to scenic Washington DC to learn history and significance and architecture and so forth. We took a handful of photos using ye olde 35mm film when we weren’t busy corralling and entertaining the boy.

After three straight days and several aggregate miles of walking our nation’s capital and one amusement park of questionable safety, we three were wrecked. If you use a DC map to retrace the itinerary of our Tuesday and Thursday excursions, it would look like one of those old Family Circus cartoons where Billy has to walk from the front gate to the front door, and his dotted trail shows you the twenty-seven stops he made along the way first. At the end of it all, our feet were just about in need of sole transplants, and the sunburn around my neck and shoulders was blistering. Anne was slightly better off but carrying her own battle damage. My son, the most resilient of us three, was just pretty tired.

After the subway dropped us off at the Smithsonian station for the last time, we wanted to brave just one more stop that sounded right up our alley: the National Museum of American History. Just one more museum. That’s all we asked.

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Our 2003 Road Trip, Part 6 of 7: From Lincoln to Kennedy

March 2, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Lincoln Memorial!

Giant Lincoln hasn’t been in quite as many films as the White House has, but fans of the Night at the Museum or Planet of the Apes series will recall his big moments there and in too many other films where he’s defaced or destroyed.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: our fifth annual road trip became our first family road trip as we jettisoned our convention plans and took my son to scenic Washington DC to learn history and significance and architecture and so forth. We took a handful of photos using ye olde 35mm film when we weren’t busy corralling and entertaining the boy.

Our Thursday walk led us from the White House to the nearby buildings and statues to the west, to the Vietnam National Memorial, to yet another memorial, one of the many mandatory stops while you’re in DC. Many such famous landmarks and institutions are easily covered within the same convenient walking distance. Not all of them, unless you’re a serious hiker. Or a dunce planning your final day in town using maps not drawn to scale.

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Our 2003 Road Trip, Part 5 of 7: From the White House to Vietnam

February 27, 2017 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Anne and White House!

When we showed our photos to family and friends later, we realized Anne had taken so many of them that this shot was one of the very few that proved she was actually there.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: our fifth annual road trip became our first family road trip as we jettisoned our convention plans and took my son to scenic Washington DC to learn history and significance and architecture and so forth. We took a handful of photos using ye olde 35mm film when we weren’t busy corralling and entertaining the boy.

Day Five: Thursday, July 10, 2003. Our last full day in DC would once again be spent walking and walking and walking. We had more memorials and museums to check off, and only so much time to hit them all. We made the most of our options while we still had any energy remaining, and for as long as our feet would hold out after the previous two days’ calisthenics. As we would later find with our two New York City trips in 2011 and 2016, there are some major cities with too many attractions to cover in a single road trip no matter how many days you set aside for it. So we prioritized the number one attraction in the DC area and headed there first.

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MCC Live-Tweeting: Oscars 2017

February 27, 2017 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Jimmy Kimmel!

“You want one of these so bad? Go make a movie that doesn’t suck, you lazy bum.”

The 89th Academy Awards began in style with Justin Timberlake singing or possibly lip-syncing his big Trolls single “Can’t Stop the Feeling”, but ended with all the feelings at cross-purposes when final presenters Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty — reunited fifty years after Bonnie & Clyde lost to In the Heat of the Night — made Oscar telecast history by inadvertently announcing La La Land as the winner when in fact the name printed on their card was Moonlight. La La producer Justin Horowitz broke the news when, after their speech time had already begun, he approached the mic and tried to re-announce the award. At first the audience thought he was just being humble and demurring. Then everyone realized he was serious and extremely classy as he held the card up for the cameras to see. Much confusion and Twitter quips about “fake news” ensued till things were confirmed and the Moonlight team tentatively took the stage and took their turn at thank-yous.

Between those memorable moments, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel hosted in an effort to drum up business for his own show by bringing in his own bits such as “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets”, practical jokes, his Matt Damon feud, and I couldn’t tell you what else because I’ve never watched his show unless tonight’s Oscars telecast counted as an episode of it.

Right this way for the list of winners and a running commentary!