Give Our Regards to the Indiana Flower & Patio Show

Tulips!

Shout-out to the wandering stranger who just had to stop and ogle the wooden reindeer at that exact moment.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Twice per year my wife Anne and I escort her grandmother to one of two special events at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. Each November we visit the Indiana Christmas Gift and Hobby Show. Each March the highlight of her month is the Indiana Flower & Patio Show, which features numerous displays of colorful flora, booths where gardeners and homeowners can peruse and pick out their new seeds, plants, implements, and accoutrements for tending and cultivating their yards in the forthcoming spring and summer. Assorted horticulturists and lawn care companies show off bouquets, sample gardens, and ostentatious flowers you’ll wish you owned.

[After the 2016 show] Mamaw…expressed some concern about how many more times we’ll get to share this outing. She’s 91 years old, isn’t beautifying the plots outside her house as much as she used to, and is finding the sensory overload more exhausting than ever. As long as she’s still interested in attending her annual Super Bowl, we’re happy to keep seeing her there.

Now she’s 92. Despite our hopes for a miracle or a superpower origin or even a monkey’s paw, she isn’t getting any younger. After her medical event last November we wondered for months if she would feel up for any more public outings. Neither Anne nor I wanted Mamaw to miss out on her favorite place in the springtime…but as of right now, our annual tradition is officially not happening.

Continue reading

More Than Flowers at the Indiana Flower & Patio Show 2017

giraffe and greens!

If this giraffe were real, these plants could kiss their leaves goodbye.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Twice per year my wife and I escort her grandmother to one of two special events at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. Each November we visit the Indiana Christmas Gift and Hobby Show. Each March the highlight of her month is the Indiana Flower & Patio Show, which features numerous displays of colorful flora, booths where gardeners and homeowners can peruse and pick out their new seeds, plants, implements, and accoutrements for tending and cultivating their yards in the forthcoming spring and summer.

This weekend was that time again! After our previous jaunts in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016, once more we walked the springtime labyrinth at the Indiana State Fairgrounds with the intrepid Mamaw, showing her the sights and navigating the nature-loving crowds.

…and every year we come home with at least two entries’ worth of photos — one starring the flowers and one featuring the other outdoor decorations and often irrelevant vendors whose wares are off-topic but allowed in the doors anyway. Sometimes we don’t mind so much, especially if their product is food.

Continue reading

Flowers Are Pretty 5: The Final Blooming?

Red Yellow Purple!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Twice per year my wife and I escort her grandmother to one of two special events at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. Each November we visit the Indiana Christmas Gift and Hobby Show. Each March the highlight of her month is the Indiana Flower & Patio Show, which features numerous displays of colorful flora, booths where gardeners and homeowners can peruse and pick out their new seeds, plants, implements, and accoutrements for tending and cultivating their yards in the forthcoming spring and summer. Assorted horticulturists and lawn care companies show off bouquets, sample gardens, and ostentatious flowers you’ll wish you owned.

This weekend was that time again! After our previous jaunts in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016, once more we walked the springtime labyrinth at the Indiana State Fairgrounds with the intrepid Mamaw, showing her the sights and navigating the nature-loving crowds. Thankfully spraining my knee last Saturday didn’t interfere with my wheelchair chauffeur duties. Mamaw, on the other hand, expressed some concern about how many more times we’ll get to share this outing. She’s 91 years old, isn’t beautifying the plots outside her house as much as she used to, and is finding the sensory overload more exhausting than ever.

She was also disappointed that her brother — a mere eightysomething whippersnapper — has exited his role working security at the show after its ownership changed hands last year. Now that he’s no longer hooking her up with free passes, she’s disappointed that we have to (*gasp*) pay our own way into the show. We assured her this isn’t a problem for us. It’s not an upper-class political fundraiser. As long as she’s still interested in attending her annual Super Bowl, we’re happy to keep seeing her there.

Continue reading

More Than Flowers at the Indiana Flower & Patio Show 2016

Dramatic Modern!

A variety of patio design options included this stark, eye-popping Dramatic Modern setup that can be part of your backyard for the high, high price of don’t-even-ask.

In our previous installment, you saw flowers and nothing but flowers from the 2016 Indiana Flower and Patio Show. But the exhibition, sprawled across two buildings at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, has so much more to offer than pretty flower displays. Various vendors offer gardening implements, flower and vegetable seeds, digging advice, contest drawings/telemarketing signups, garage finishing services, gutter-cleaning inventions, non-stick cookware, liquor, chocolate, nuts, coffee cakes, summer sausage, massages, eyelashes, poor abandoned pets, Indianapolis Star subscriptions, and more more more. And if you love aggressive sales pitches, DirecTV bought five separate booths specifically to irritate me, because the four booths they had last year didn’t do the job thoroughly enough, according to their anti-me tone-deaf focus groups.

But enough about marketing peeves. Let the pageantry and shopping begin!

Right this way for candy, characters, patio ideas, animals, and the little old lady who loved every minute of it!

4 Flowers 4 Pretty: Another Flower & Patio Show

Indiana Flower & Patio Show!

It’s that time yet again! Spring is imminent if not premature here in Indiana, and my wife and I compiled a new assortment starring nature’s most colorful objects that rhyme with “powers”. Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Twice per year my wife and I escort her grandmother to one of two special events at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. Each November we visit the Indiana Christmas Gift and Hobby Show. Each March the highlight of her month is the Indiana Flower & Patio Show, which features numerous displays of colorful flora, booths where gardeners and homeowners can peruse and pick out their new seeds, plants, implements, and accoutrements for tending and cultivating their yards in the forthcoming spring and summer. Assorted horticulturists and lawn care companies show off bouquets, sample gardens, and ostentatious flowers you’ll wish you owned.

We brought you pretty flower photos in 2013, in 2014, and in 2015, and the sequels will continue until they don’t. Once again I’ll be stepping aside and letting the flowers show themselves off and demonstrate what they contribute to Creation and property values. Not only would I get half the names wrong, but here in America tonight it’s the annual Daylight Savings changeover, the one where clocks spring forward, everyone loses an hour of sleep, and we all spend Sunday grumpy and mumbling. It’s in that mindset that I’m letting easy-to-glance-at pictures outnumber all those thinking words that usually occupy this space.

…that’s too many words already. I’ll stop. Relax and enjoy!

Right this way to scroll through pretty flower photos, Like, and then go back to bed!

More Than Flowers at the Indiana Flower & Patio Show 2015

Blue!

In our previous installment, you saw flowers and nothing but flowers from the 2015 Indiana Flower and Patio Show. But the exhibition, sprawled across two buildings at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, has so much more to offer than pretty flower displays. Various vendors offer gardening implements, flower and vegetable seeds, digging advice, contest drawings/telemarketing signups, garage finishing services, gutter-cleaning inventions, non-stick cookware, liquor, chocolate, nuts, coffee cakes, summer sausage, massages, eyelashes, poor abandoned pets, Indianapolis Star subscriptions, and more more more. And if you’re a fan of pushy sales pitches, this year DirecTV had no less than four different booths staffed with aggressive go-getters excited about interrogating and shaming you over your home entertainment choices.

Meanwhile, their comparatively classy competitors over at Comcast/Xfinity bought one (1) booth and, instead of practicing gotcha salesmanship, invited a celebrity spokesperson to hang out with them and sign autographs: Blue, the official mascot for the Indianapolis Colts!

(At left in the first photo above, that’s my wife’s grandmother being smothered with fuzzy showbiz love. And in case you’re wondering, I have no idea why Blue has streamers in his nose. As a chronic sufferer of sinus problems myself, I say any technique that keeps the airways free is fair game. Ignore the gawkers and run with it.)

Right this way for more photos of not-flowers! And, okay, a few more flowers that got in the way, too.

Flowers Are Pretty III: the Freshening

Purple's a Flower!

Purple! Purple’s a flower.

It’s that time again! Spring has seen fit to return to the land, and my wife and I have a new batch of photos from the Indiana Flower and Patio Show, a delicate rush of fresh spring air to dispel the morose ugliness of winter and remind us of life waiting for us outside.

Right this way for more flowery flowering flowers!

%d bloggers like this: