In a Field Somewhere, Noticing “The Color Purple”

Movie poster for "The Color Purple" focusing on its three proud Black leading actresses.

Remember what happens when you walk past purple in a field and don’t notice it.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Oscar Quest 2024 continues! I’m still seeing how many of this year’s Academy Award nominees I can watch before the big night on March 11th. Used to be, I’d only hold myself accountable for the Best Picture nominees, but this is my fourth year trying to track down all works from all categories, even those with a single nomination to their credit. If I left the house to catch them in an actual theater, they get their own entry. That’s the MCC rule, no matter how much I might end up rambling.

That brings us to The Color Purple, the movie based on the musical based on the novel, not a movie based on the musical based on the movie based on the novel, because that would just be silly. The 1985 adaptation of Alice Walker’s novel, directed by Steven Spielberg and written for the screen by a white Dutchman (one of three guys credited for Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade), was nominated for 11 Oscars but left the ceremony statueless. The latest version, from first-time feature-length director Blitz Bazawule (one of the co-directors of BeyoncĂ©’s Black Is King) and screenwriter Marcus Gardley (The Chi, Foundation), has only a single nomination, tying with several other wannabe-luminaries such as the fifteen short films and Flamin’ Hot. But it’s still in the running.

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“Ferrari”: The Big Race Not in the Oscar Race

Adam Driver playing the white-haired Enzo Ferrari, sitting at a dinner table with his hands held out palms-down, staring into the camera as he explains what happens when two particular engine parts don't line up perfectly.

What this pic and movie really need are some Photoshopped 3-D Force-lightning.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: I tried starting my annual Oscar Quest three weeks early by catching several potential nominees before the Academy’s official announcement, in hopes of reducing my eventual legwork. Two of those screenings proved useless to my Quest in the end: Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon (which was on the Best Visual Effects shortlist, but got justly bumped by Godzilla) and Ferrari, a vehicle for Adam Driver to explore a matured variation on his House of Gucci accent. Rendered irrelevant like that, this entry could’ve been procrastinated another week or two, but then I realized maybe it’d be a good idea to slot something between the entries for American Fiction and The Color Purple, which really would not work as a double feature.

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I Would’ve Voted for “American Fiction” Three Times If I Could’ve

Jeffrey Wright as an author sitting at his laptop in a very nice house, thinking hard about his next sentence.

“It was a Black and blackly night…”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: as a lifelong lover of satire, I was annoyed at missing American Fiction when it played the Heartland Film Festival months ahead of the current Oscar season, but its one and only showtime and location were lousy for me. The drive would’ve been a nearly-hourlong construction-zone slog to Central Indiana’s most upscale area, arguably a breeding ground for the very crowd that the film’s most withering commentary targets.

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My Oscar Quest 2024 Quick-Start Scorecard

Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer in one of the black-and-white flashbacks. He's seated at a table, incredulous during testimony and reaching for his coffee mug.

“Now I am become Oscar, the booster of careers.”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: every winter is my annual Oscar Quest, during which I venture out to see all Academy Award nominees for Best Picture, regardless of whether I think I’ll like them or not, whether their politics and beliefs agree with mine or not, whether they’re good or bad for me, and whether or not my friends and family have ever heard of them. I’ve seen every Best Picture winner from Wings to Everything Everywhere All at Once, and every Best Picture nominee from 1987 to the present, many of which were worth the hunt. You take the good, you take the bad, and so on.

Starting in 2020 I upgraded to the Oscars Quest Expanded Challenge, in which I see how many nominees I can watch in all categories before the big ceremony. Thanks to the expansion of streaming services I’ve seen every Oscar-nominated feature and short for the years 2021 and 2022, even in minor categories like Best Original Song. I enjoyed surprises and suffered regrets. Sometimes I have to wait for smaller nominees to arrive at the art-house theaters here in Indianapolis. Sometimes I luck out and they’re on our subscribed streaming services of choice. Sometimes I go for a streaming rental. In extreme cases a Redbox disc rental might be warranted. I go wherever the Quest takes me.

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“Poor Things”: Terry Gilliam’s Frankenhooker

Poor Things movie poster on display at a shopping-mall theater. It has the logo, Emma Stone with dark hair and thick eyebrows, and weird stuff at the bottom.

Winner of two Golden Globes! Too bad I’ve never cared about the Golden Globes.

Show of hands, who wants to hear opinions from a prude who avoids buying any Criterion Collection releases about “sexual liberation” or “sexual awakening”, who went to see a shamelessly, zealously “sex-positive” film?

No? No one? Understood. G’night! See you next entry! I’ll let y’all know when I post some more Disney World photos!

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2023 at the Movies at My House

Jessie Buckley and Riz Ahmed sit expectantly on the floor in front of a wall-mounted microwave. Two of her fingers are bandaged.

Time once more to gather the family ’round the appliance of your choice!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: : in 2023 I made 24 trips to the theater to see films made that same year. Meanwhile at home, I kept up with select new releases depending on what was conveniently available through our family’s streaming subscriptions, what sounded most watchable, and/or what felt like potential future Oscar nominees that should be gotten over with in advance to ease my annual Oscar Quest time crunch. For value-added fun, as an anniversary gift from my lovely wife Anne we now have Amazon Prime, which expanded our options without expanding my available TV free time. I did what I could within the time slots allotted.

Hence the fourth annual installment of the MCC tradition borne of the pandemic: a ranking of all the brand new films I saw on comfy, convenient home video in their year of release. Sure, they could’ve been 24 separate entries written in real time as I consumed them, but that’s not how I roll. The Academy Award nominations announcement is coming up January 23rd, which I’ve been keeping in the back of my mind as the deadline for this listicle, so that incentive to get these done clearly worked. On with the countdown!

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Disney World! Part 5: Disney Easter Eggs

Large egg with nearly two dozen Disney characters painted on it.

No, I mean this kind of Disney Easter egg.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

During the late afternoon of my one-man tour through the Grand Floridian grounds and around the Disney Resorts’ monorail track, in their main lobby I came across what’s apparently an annual Easter feature in their Main Building: an exhibit of egg-shaped sculptures honoring their companies’ films and theme park rides. Some weren’t egg-shaped, instead containing egg motifs. Some were new for 2023; some were holdovers from the past. A few were works-in-progress. All were a gentle admonishment to myself that, yes, I’m sharing these pics well outside the Easter 2023 season when we took them, but in plenty of time for Easter 2024, skipping right over Valentine’s Day and getting ahead of Hallmark for once.

Not all the pics are mine; Anne finally got a chance to peruse the Grand Floridian for herself Wednesday afternoon when she found some unexpected free time between activities and I was several miles away. Between the two of us, we found most of the Easter eggs, which of course weren’t really “hidden”.

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My 2023 at the Movies, Part 2 of 2: The Top 10

Four main cast members from the Dungeons & Dragons movie step into a medieval arena, booed by the crowd.

Over 300 films stepped into the 2023 arena. Ten step out.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s listing time again! In today’s entertainment consumption sphere, all experiences must be pitted against each other and assigned numeric values that are ultimately arbitrary to anyone except the writer themselves. It’s just this fun thing some of us love doing even though the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.

Of those 24 releases, 15 were sequels or chapters in an ongoing universe or venerated popcorn-flick IP. Eight were superhero films. Two were animated. Two were entirely subtitled. Ten had scenes during or after the end credits. Four were screenings at the 32nd annual Heartland Film Festival, not all of which have received wide U.S. runs as of this writing.

Here’s the annual rundown of what I didn’t miss in theaters in 2023, for better or worse. Links to past excessively wordy reviews and sometimes bizarrely construed thoughts are provided for historical reference…

And now, on with the Year’s Best Movies countdown:

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My 2023 at the Movies, Part 1 of 2: The Year’s Least Best

Scene from the second Shazam movie with all six powered-up Shazam Family members standing on a bridge, looking at you.

2023 was the 20th anniversary of the classic “LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!” LARPing video. The future that faux-wizard foresaw has arrived.

It’s listing time again! In today’s entertainment consumption sphere, all experiences must be pitted against each other and assigned numeric values that are ultimately arbitrary to anyone except the writer themselves. It’s just this fun thing some of us love doing even though the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.

I saw 24 films in theaters in 2023 that were actually released in 2023, a 33.3% increase over 2022 as COVID-19 retreated slightly into the bushes and folks began making more movies, many of them watchable. That number doesn’t include seven Academy Award nominees that were officially 2022 releases, but which I saw later outside the house as part of my annual Oscar Quest. It also doesn’t include the 2023 films I watched on streaming services, which will receive their own listicle.

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Disney World! Part 4: Party of One v. Party of Many

Nighttime shot across a lagoon. On the far shore is a tiny blue castle and a practically neon hotel. The moon shines brightly through a hazy sky, At left is a pier empty but lit.

Far from other tourists, this was my view across Seven Seas Lagoon of Disney’s Contemporary Resort. The glowing blue mountain is Cinderella’s Castle.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Our Disney Resort experience had only just begun. We’d been together all day, but wouldn’t be for long. Among the divergences in the four-day itinerary, Anne had to attend an “evening event” for employees only beginning at 5 pm at the Grand Floridian’s Convention Center. We plus-ones were cordially asked to go bug off on our own recognizance. At first I’d worried about possibly spending my solo night sulky and depressed. It’s a thing I do sometimes.

Then I remembered I was at DISNEY WORLD. I had some light exploring to do before my big, big day tomorrow.

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