Tag Archives: television

“Sleepy Hollow” 11/5/2015: Swarm Front

November 9, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Sleepy Hollow!

“Fascinating. You know, Benjamin Franklin’s notebooks contain numerous recipes for delectable wasp cuisine.”

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Our Heroes met Team Bones, borrowed some of their ratings, and spent Halloween fighting Zombie General Howe and his zombie Redcoats with magic blue napalm bazookas. Meanwhile, “fan favorite” Joe Corbin nearly sold out the mysterious Shard of Anubis to new baddie Augustus Nevins over his daddy issues. He’s an excellent team member.

On tonight’s new episode, “This Red Lady from Caribee”: Joey Jo-Jo Junior’s daddy issues make things worse! Our Heroes fight a woman made of wasps, and when she yells, she shoots wasps from her mouth! Pandora reveals slightly more of her horticultural master plan! And the ostensibly sinister Augustus Nevins finally appears onscreen, played by veteran character actor Bill Irwin, last heard as the voice of the robot TARS from Interstellar.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/29/2015: The Deadcoats are Coming! The Deadcoats are Coming!

October 30, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Sleepy Hollow Meets Bones!

Agent. Agent. Doctor. “Curator”.

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Our Heroes fought a creepy, bendy Tooth Fairy; Pandora was mean to little girls; and Ichabod Crane traded hundreds of texts goofy emoji with his new friend Zoe Corinth.

On tonight’s new episode, “Dead Men Tell No Tales”: it’s a very special crossover with Bones! The venerable Fox procedural drama, now in its thirty-seventh season, has been gracious enough to share Thursdays with Sleepy Hollow this season, and since both series feature FBI agents and fish-out-of-water geniuses partnering to fight crime, someone up high decided both series should go on a two-hour double-date based on their matching profile results from TVMingle.com. One focuses on forensic analysis and cutting-edge science and the world’s weirdest desiccated corpses; the other has sinister artifacts and killer demons and a 250-year-old spy. Obviously these two kooky shows are ready for their Vegas wedding.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/22/2015: Better Living Through Dentistry

October 23, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Sleepy Hollow!

“Little girl, by my count this American coin contains no less than six different lies. How many can YOU discern?”

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: We learned the absolutely true story of the eternal Jack the Ripper; our man Crane boldly decided to become a legal immigrant; Jenny Mills caught yet another competitive relic hunter stepping on her turf; and “fan favorite” Joe Corbin was, y’know, there.

On tonight’s new episode, “The Sisters Mills”: the season’s best outing so far sees Abbie and Jenny comparing notes over family matters, Crane and Zoe Corinth trading designer emoji, and we’re told Everything You Know About the Tooth Fairy Is WRONG. Tonight is brought to you by guest director Guillermo Navarro, best known as the cinematographer on most of Guillermo del Toro’s films, having won an Academy Award for his memorable work on Pan’s Labyrinth, and helmed half a dozen episodes of NBC’s Hannibal. As you’d expect, this week’s monster looks fabulously disturbing.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/15/2015: Yours Truly, Nelson the Ripper

October 16, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Sleepy Hollow Ripper!

How the killer sees himself…

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Our Heroes fought a stabby shadow that preyed on evil accountants with dark secrets; sister Jenny showed off her martial arts training against a rival relic hunter, but he got what he came for; Joe Corbin, son of Sheriff, showed up; and the showrunners tried to break the primetime record for most love triangles in a single show with less than six main cast members.

In tonight’s new episode, “Blood and Fear”: Ichabod Crane versus his old foe, Jack the Ripper! Well, technically. Their lives were lived a century apart, but nothing solves a seeming anachronism like a magical MacGuffin. And for those following along with the show in their Sleepy Hollow Vocabulary Workbooks, tonight’s secret word was “exsanguination”. Remember: for the rest of the week, whenever anyone says the secret word, scream real loud!

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/8/2015: The Greatest Spectacle in Wraithing

October 9, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Sleepy Hollow!

Can two appointed Witnesses share a house without driving each other crazy?

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Agent Abbie Mills has now followed Mulder and Scully into the ranks of the FBI; our man Ichabod Crane strongly believes the second Tribulation is nigh; sister Jenny was among the few to survive the great cast-pruning of 2015; Crane has flashbacks about his old colleague Betsy Ross, American Action Spy; and good ol’ Tarrytown welcomed a new Big Bad, the scheming Pandora. (No, not the music service.)

In tonight’s new episode, “Whispers in the Dark”: Abbie and Crane reveal some new secrets, the show adds a few replacement male characters, more tidbits are revealed from the nine-month time-jump, Crane throws himself into some intense household chores, and there’s a Dementor on the loose with an oddly specific serial-killing fetish.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/1/2015: Red Hide, White Eyes, Blue Crane

October 2, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Sleepy Hollow goes to Colonial Times!

Also mentioned tonight but not pictured: the I Cannot Tell a Lie Cherry Pie. With a name like that, the first ingredient had better be real cherries.

Sleepy Hollow is back! The third season kicked off tonight in its new time slot, where it’ll be competing against ABC’s invincible Shonda Rhimes lineup instead of CBS’ Scorpion. I’m not sure this move is an upgrade. More troubling was the departure of the previous showrunners and several cast members, including the Headless Horseman and the great Orlando Jones, who’ll be truly missed. Tom Mison, Nicole Beharie, and Lyndie Greenwood are still around, joined by new cast members, new monsters, presumably a new Big Bad, new artifacts, new vocabulary words, and wacky new collisions between our man Ichabod Crane and the bemusing 21st century America. Midlife Crisis Crossover previously brought you speedy, after-show recaps of Season One and Season Two, and we’re stubbornly sticking with the tradition until it’s canceled or turns unwatchable, whichever comes first. I’m pretty okay with neither eventuality happening, really.

The season premiere, “I, Witness”, as directed by Robocop‘s Peter Weller, kept our reunion simple with a straightforward demon hunt, leavened with a flashback to a historical friend, hints of another sinister long-term scheme in the works, and a merry visit to a themed restaurant called Colonial Times, which is like a Medieval Times sequel with a longer, cheesier menu.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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… Continue reading →

Moving Away from Evergreen Terrace

April 12, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments
Simpsons DVDs!

Guess which season saw the introduction of a new box design. And guess which set I hate most for ruining everything.

Obsessive completists who collect physical media and refuse to give up on The Simpsons received heartbreaking news this week when longtime producer Al Jean revealed Season 17 would be the final DVD/Blu-ray set produced. In numerous back-and-forth discussions with fans on Twitter, Jean cited poor sales in a world where streaming media has become the preferred viewing option for a lot of former disc buyers. It’s not hard to argue the diminishing aesthetic returns on later seasons may also have contributed to America’s growing consensus as to exactly how much of the show deserves to be archived in their own homes.

For anyone with the true collector mentality, this cancellation poses a special form of anguish: a no-frills Season 20 set was rush-released in 2010 as an anniversary merchandising tie-in. Anyone who’s bought them religiously since Season 1 will now have a eternal gap between 17 and 20 that can never be filled through legal means, to say nothing of the unreleased 21 through 60. Granted, you could pay to watch those online via Amazon, or indulge in the Simpsons World app if you care to watch the show on certain devices. You could store said device on the DVD shelf between 17 and 20, and argue till your face is Homer-pants-blue that it’s close enough. You’d be wrong.

For my wife and myself, it’s another stumbling block to our once-fervent Simpsons fandom.

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Top 10 Surprises in the Upcoming “Teletubbies” Reboot

April 7, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , 8 Comments
Teletubbies Time Warp!

Pictured left to right: William Shatner, Harry Shearer, June Foray, and Seth MacFarlane. Or not.

Sooner or later, every old intellectual property must be revitalized for a new generation that has no interest in it. Revivals are perpetually on the way in every medium –as of this minute, your slate of candidates includes Archie, Logan’s Run, and even gum-wrapper superstar Bazooka Joe. Why waste your time and imagination inventing new characters when you can just stamp your preferences onto someone else’s venerated labor of love?

Also on the way: the return of the Teletubbies! England’s other, other, other Fab Four were psychedelic freeform heroes to a generation of toddlers born at a weird time. Now that formerly captive audience will have the opportunity to recapture their childhood, reunite with their old mentors, and complain about all those years of characterization, continuity, and PBS crossovers that are being tossed out the window and now the seasons they’ve collected on VHS are null and void. Welcome to 21st-century entertainment, youngsters.

Right this way for…another list!

Let Me Know When “Community” Season 6 is on DVD

March 18, 2015 By in Misc. Media Tags: , , , , , , , 7 Comments
Community!

Abed and Jeff during the premiere’s Apology Montage. Maybe someday I’ll accept it, but I’m just not ready tonight.

The big television event is here! Except not on television. At last, the fabled meta-sitcom Community returned tonight with the first two all-new episodes of its sixth season, but not on NBC anymore. Instead, in what I hope was a self-aware feat of ironic self-handicapping, the show has relocated to Yahoo! Screen, which spent the past ninety minutes of my life acting like RealPlayer used to in the ’90s, except larger and hopefully with a little less spyware. Yahoo!’s entry into the internet streaming competition didn’t fare well in the test sessions I’d performed prior to tonight, but I wanted to persevere anyway for the sake of the show that’s produced four of the funniest seasons of TV ever.

I took performance notes during the experience for posterity and as an outlet for my disappointment. With the streaming results, I mean, not with the actual show.

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What’s Right About This Supergirl Photo?

March 7, 2015 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

Supergirl Smiles!

At the end of this week, Warner Brothers treated the public to our first glimpse of Whiplash‘s Melissa Benoist in her next role as the star of CBS’ proposed Supergirl series. The CW had been handling the honors on DC Comics’ TV universe with Arrow and The Flash, but Superman’s best cousin will be movin’ on up to the larger, more powerful network that hopefully won’t skimp on the effects budget or require her to endure contrived crossovers with CSI: Cyber.

Right this way for the other photo, and the part I liked best….