Space Makes Every Movie Better

The Martian!

Matt Damon had no idea how far he’d have to drive to track down Minnie Driver.

I’d never heard of Andy Weir’s novel The Martian until the first trailer for director Ridley Scott’s movie adaptation surprised the internet last week. I had no idea what to expect, and the name “Ridley Scott” told me things could go either way. Fortunately what I saw seemed somewhat different enough from Interstellar, Contact, Armageddon, and all those ’90s Martian disaster films (Mission to Mars, Red Planet, Total Recall, Mars Attacks!) that I considered myself somewhat impressed and a bit hopeful that some of the reviews end with hyperbole such as “Ridley Scott’s boldest vision of the future since Alien and Blade Runner!” or “Isn’t it time we forgave him for The Counselor?”.

That was my first thought. My second thought regarding this trailer in which Matt Damon, super-genius, defies expectations and accomplishes nigh-impossible doctorate-level feats under improbable circumstances while everyone else stands back and watches in befuddlement…my second thought is we’re about to see the long-awaited sequel Will Hunting, Good King of NASA. I don’t think I’m complaining, though. In fact, maybe more movie characters should buy tickets to go see the Final Frontier up close and rake in a few extra hundred billion bucks worldwide. Or on an interplanetary scale, even.

Right this way for Pitches! In! SPAAACE!

Not My Favorite Writing Environment

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Not my favorite bed.

It’s that magical time again! Once or twice a year the recurring lower back pain that strikes when I least expect it chooses the worst possible time to come at me, ruin a few days, and keep me some combination of humble and humiliated.

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2001 Road Trip Photos, Part 3 of 3: The Roads to Paducah

Paducah Mural!

This mural was one of several painted on the floodwalls that separated downtown Paducah from the banks of the Ohio River. It’s the only one I photographed and therefore the greatest of them all, probably.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration.

Yes, Metropolis was fun and the Celebration itself had its share of vivid personalities and eye-catching exhibitions, but far be it from us to drive three hundred miles, engage in a single activity, then do an about-face and retreat without surveying some of the nearby environs. Because road-trip science demanded further investigation.

Right this way for preserved bits and pieces of Paducah from fourteen years ago!

2001 Road Trip Photos, Part 2 of 3: Super-Villains vs. the Super Museum

Super Museum!

Look, up on the bucket list! It’s a bird sanctuary! It’s a plane hangar! It’s the SUPER MUSEUM!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration.

Much of the Superman Celebration is like any small-town carnival party: a mix of great local foods and pro concession stands; traveling amusement park rides; amateur sports competitions; a parade or two; a group community yard sale; and things like that. But every small-town carnival party committee in America wishes it had a tourist attractor as heroic as the Super Museum.

Right this way for more about the Museum, and photos of the 2001 Superman Celebration special guests!

2001 Road Trip Photos, Part 1 of 3: The Great City of Metropolis

Us + Superman!

The two of us have attended the Superman Celebration four times. This was our first group shot with their iconic statue. Photo by some fellow tourist with no concept of how centering works.

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen wonders, constructs, architecture, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. My son tagged along from 2003 until 2013 when he ventured off to college. In later years those trips took the form of cross-country drives to other states, passing by odd roadside attractions to see historically significant locales, world-famous landmarks, and/or pretty natural scenery. For our first four trips, we were all about geek-centric gatherings.

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration. More than just a carnival acknowledging their local heritage and history, the Celebration invites tourists from all walks to come join in their festivities, as well as actors from various Superman movies, TV shows, and other related Super-works who come in for autographs and Q&As.

The 37th annual Celebration is coming up this weekend, June 11-14, 2015. We regret we’ll be missing this one due to other commitments, but in honor of that special occasion, we dug through our scrapbooks and photo albums to unearth our 35mm souvenirs of the very first time we visited the self-styled real-world hometown of the Man of Steel.

Right this way for classic shots of Superman’s kind of town!

The Night Bruce Campbell Came to Town

Bruce Campbell!

Famous movie guy Bruce Campbell creates a special moment for some other fan. Hero of the autograph line!

All the major news media completely missed the fact that 2015 marks the tenth anniversary of the first time Bruce Campbell, star of the Evil Dead trilogy and other favored works, directed a feature film. I was reminded this evening as I was digging through a stack of old 35mm photos in a beat-up shoebox labeled “2005” and ran across evidence of the time Campbell hosted a special screening here in Indianapolis. And I was there!

Right this way for a few old pics from the Golden archives!

2014 Road Trip Photos #33: Season Finale, Last Call for Outtakes

Bi-Centennial Money Car!

One of the many vehicles that missed the cut for Part 29 was the Bi-Centennial Money Car, a ’76 Cadillac covered in pennies. Some things you’re really curious about, and then some things you realize you’d rather not ask.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: we guided you through our annual road trip in thirty-two episodes, from Indianapolis to Minnesota/St. Paul to Fargo to home again. In our grand finale: one last round of outtakes from everywhere and everything else we saw besides Minnesota, all kinds of little bonus moments in between the shots in the previous chapters. Sure, I could’ve simply done a more thorough job of vetting photos the first time around and made the previous entries twice as long, but then what would I do for outtakes?

Right this way for the end of all 2014 things!

Marvel’s New “Star Wars” Comics: 6-Month Progress Report

Star Wars 6!

This month in Star Wars #6: Boba Fett tries to prove he’s not a loser by going after Luke Skywalker. “Go big or go home,” I guess. (Art by John Cassaday and Laura Martin.)

Marvel’s takeover of the Star Wars comics license from Dark Horse is nearly halfway through its first year, having published a combined eighteen issues to date between three ongoing series and one miniseries thus far. In our household I’m the one with the lifelong comics habit, while my wife is the dedicated Star Wars fan. I have dozens of longboxes; she has a six-foot shelf overflowing with hundreds of Expanded Universe novels. Strictly speaking, Star Wars comics are among those few releases that hold potential interest for both of us. Her enjoyment of Dark Horse’s output outlasted mine by a wide margin, but we’re in a new era and a new universe now, with different creators, different priorities, and different results.

Fair warning for context: I’ve seen all six films multiple times (a couple of them way too many times), but Star Wars is not one of my primary geek specialties as it is for her. My perceptions of George Lucas’ favorite galaxy are skewed because I experienced the original film trilogy in the following order:

1. Heard about the original Star Wars from friends while my mom went to see it without me
2. Bought and read the Empire Strikes Back novelization from a school book fair
3. Saw Return of the Jedi twice in theaters, then read the Goodwin/Williamson comics adaptation
4. Years later, saw Star Wars
5. A decade or so after that, possibly after high school, saw ESB

Despite several attempts at reading random issues, I never got into Marvel’s original 114-issue Star Wars series, not even for Jax the giant green bunny. I read a smattering of Dark Horse works and liked a few things here and there, but I mostly bought them for my wife until and unless she told me to drop titles at her discretion. When I heard about Marvel’s acquisition and reboot using several of their top creators, I think I was more excited than she was. Then again, I’m not the one who just had thirty-odd years’ worth of treasured, memorized, extensively researched Expanded Universe history and intricacies tossed into a garbage chute by Lucasfilm Marketing. (Been there, done that, felt that pain. Welcome to my life as a fortysomething comics fan.)

In my skewed opinion as an old guy who likes comics more than Star Wars, Marvel’s current titles rank as follows from least best to definite best.

Right this way for MCC’s Top 4 countdown!

Saturday Night’s Not All Right for Fast Food

Icky Dump

Three Saturdays ago my wife and I returned to town after a long, long drive and had neither energy nor willpower to cook supper at home. We weren’t in the mood to wait 60-120 minutes for a table at your Olive Garden/Red Lobster level of weekend hotspots. We’d already racked up a number of single-day expenses and were neither amenable nor properly dressed to go overspend on a nicer, classier, posher, less crowded establishment. So we decided to stop for fast food.

On a Saturday night. I know better than this.

When things went south, they set off a series of flashbacks to my previous career track and reminded me exactly why I should know better.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #32: Outtakes, Minnesota

The Source!

Alternate closeup of “The Source” in Rice Park, a gift to the city from the erstwhile Women’s Institute of St. Paul. in Part 16 I posted a wider shot from the other side that captured the whole fountain and a few gratuitous, ubiquitous cranes.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

With each year’s travelogue we like to conclude with a second-chance review through the hundreds of photos we took to see which photos were unfairly cut from the final roster, which ones didn’t fit into the narrative but possess their own merit, and/or which ones slipped through the cracks for no valid reason…

In the penultimate chapter of our 33-part saga, we take a look back at scenes from Minnesota, mostly the Twin Cities, that were skipped the first time around for a variety of reasons. No photographer shares every shot they take, but sometimes a few keepers get unfairly lost in the shuffle.

Right this way for one final mini-tour through the North Star State!

How Are YOU Celebrating National Donut Day?

Giant Amish Donut!

The monstrous “Amish donut” was offered for breakfast at the 2014 Indiana State Fair. It had enough calories to power you through a month of Olympic events, or you could use it as a spare golf cart tire.

It’s that time of year again! This coming Friday, June 5th, will be National Donut Day, the greatest non-federal holiday that Hallmark wishes they had invented. Imagine an entire line of National Donut Day greeting cards, with a saccharine message inside and an edible sugary breading on the outside. If Hallmark could spin it expertly enough, they could rake in billions and afford to ditch some of their fake calendar-padding celebrations.

Right this way for a very special MCC salute to donuts!

“Tomorrowland”: By Science For Science

Tomorrowland!

As Tomorrowland transports you from the real world to the unreal, the music swells and swears you’ve never seen this kind of breathtaking cityscape before, except in Thor, The Fifth Element, the Star Wars prequels, the last several Final Fantasy sequels, the Ratchet and Clank series, the richer planets on Firefly, Jupiter Ascending, Futurama

The trailers for Tomorrowland didn’t do much for me, but the name of director Brad Bird is on my ever-shrinking short-list of creators who commands my automatic attention with each new work. I count The Iron Giant and The Incredibles among my favorite films, “Krusty Gets Busted” as my all-time favorite Simpsons episode, Ratatouille as an underrated gem in Pixar’s back catalog, and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol as the rare fourth film in a series that tops the first two. The Tomorrowland trailer could’ve been two minutes of Brad Bird filling out tax forms and I would’ve penciled it into my calendar.

And then I went and saw it.

One of my online cohorts called it “the worst thing Brad Bird’s ever done”. I feel like that’s a phrase that should never exist and everything he shoots should turn into an alchemical blend of gold stars and platinum A-pluses and bubbly magic dust. I refuse to complete this paragraph with “Well, this had to happen sooner or later,” because, no, it didn’t have to happen.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #31: Outtakes on the Way

Starry Night Buffalo!

This “Starry Night” buffalo was one of several unexpected sights we saw while driving but weren’t in a position to pull over for careful posing. I slowed my roll, my wife got the shot, and then I totally overlooked it while I was compiling the Day 5/6 Fargo/Moorhead pics. Let’s just pretend we were saving the best buffalo for last.

With each year’s travelogue we like to conclude with a second-chance review through the hundreds of photos we took to see which photos were unfairly cut from the final roster, which ones didn’t fit into the narrative but possess their own merit, and/or which ones slipped through the cracks for no valid reason. The eight pics in this first set of outtakes share a common bond: all were taken on the way there and back again while our vehicle was in motion. No brakes, no setup, just snapping as quickly as we could. It’s all a part of the MCC No Attraction Left Behind initiative.

(As always, photos are clickable for enlargement and resolution and such.)

Right this way for more sights and signs on the way!

An Old Guy’s Very First “Weird Al” Yankovic Concert

Weird Al Yankovic!

Dateline: 5/28/2015 — Just got back from tonight’s “Weird Al” Yankovic concert at Indianapolis’ Old National Centre (formerly the Murat Shrine until new corporate overlords focus-grouped the history right out of its name). At my age, and with many Weird Al albums lining my shelves, you’d think this would’ve been my fifth or sixth time, or that perhaps I spend summers following him and studying his arcane accordion methods. Alas, such is not the case. Despite my inexcusable shame and four decades of poor timing, now I can say I’ve seen him live, and that’s another bucket list item crossed off with gusto.

The royal granddaddy of YouTube musical parodists was here in town touring for his most recent album, Mandatory Fun, much of which longtime MCC readers may remember hearing last year. My wife, a generous and loving woman to whom I owe and offer never-ending gratitude, bought me a ticket as an early birthday gift. She knows it’s rare that my favorite musicians come to Indy, and even rarer that I take advantage of such opportunities. Due to logistical issues I regretfully ended up attending solo, but the magic of modern technology allowed me to show her a couple of wobbly photos from the scene and send occasional confirmation that I was still in one piece and hadn’t been mugged or drugged or stomped flat in a mosh pit or tempted to desert her and become a full-time Weird Al roadie. I’m sure he has a years-long waiting list for that anyway.

Right this way for a few more pics and the complete set list!

“MAD MAX FURY ROAD” IN SUPER AWESOME DOLBY 4K DIGITAL 3-D ALL-CAPS-O-RAMA!

MAD MAX FURY ROAD!

EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT CHARLIZE THERON, BUT NO ONE’S TALKING ABOUT THE REAL STAR OF THIS MOVIE: THE CARS! WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CARS!

I FINALLY SAW “MAD MAX FURY ROAD”! BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULDN’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT! I SAW IT IN 3-D BECAUSE THAT WAS THE NEXT SHOWING! I THINK THE GLASSES MADE THE EXPLOSIONS LOUDER! AND THEN IT TOOK ME FOUR HOURS TO WIND DOWN! DON’T EVEN ASK ME HOW MANY STUNTS I PULLED ON THE DRIVE HOME! AT LEAST ONE! DON’T TELL MY WIFE!

RIGHT THIS WAY FOR MAD MAX! MAD MAX! MAD MAX!

Indy 500 Festival Parade 2015 Photos, Part 6 of 6: Star Wars and Potpourri

Boba Fett!

By the time this parade was over, Boba Fett, was gonna have someone put in the cargo hold.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This year marked the fifth time my wife and I attended the Indy 500 Festival Parade in downtown Indianapolis. It’s an annual date-day tradition for us — partly to see the floats and high school marching bands, partly for the famous names (even if the rest of the audience loves them more than we do), and partly because I love the sight of a bustling downtown Indianapolis (which needs to happen every single weekend ever).

The next six entries (to be posted over the next few days as quickly as time and attention span permit) represent a fraction of the pics my wife and I snapped.

The miniseries finale, then: stuff set aside from Parts 1-5. Center of attention in this batch: Star Wars! A bevy of costumed citizens from George Lucas’ far, faraway galaxy marched alongside the Speedway 500 Regiment, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood 501st Legion. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen an Indy 500/501st crossover, but anytime these two teams care to collaborate is fine by us.

Right this way for the conclusion to another six-part saga!

Indy 500 Festival Parade 2015 Photos, Part 5 of 6: The Nationalities Council

Nationalities Council!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This year marked the fifth time my wife and I attended the Indy 500 Festival Parade in downtown Indianapolis. It’s an annual date-day tradition for us — partly to see the floats and high school marching bands, partly for the famous names (even if the rest of the audience loves them more than we do), and partly because I love the sight of a bustling downtown Indianapolis (which needs to happen every single weekend ever).

The next six entries (to be posted over the next few days as quickly as time and attention span permit) represent a fraction of the pics my wife and I snapped.

Each year our 500 Festival Parade pics always include a few shots of the Nationalities Council of Indiana, a local nonprofit that makes a strong showing every time with a scintillating array of members showcasing their heritage in costumes and clothing from dozens of nations. Their official Facebook page sums up their mission statement:

The Nationalities Council is a non-profit, all-volunteer educational foundation comprised of more than 50 ethnic or national affinity organizations plus other groups, corporations and individuals interested in celebrating Indy’s diversity. For more than 30 years, the Council has worked to increase the visibility of and participation by ethnic groups in the community life of central Indiana. The Council’s website includes links to hundreds of multicultural and international organizations in Indianapolis and Indiana, a comprehensive calendar of international events, and links to thousands more pages of information, including the only comprehensive directory of ethnic restaurants, markets and festivals in the Indianapolis area. The Ethnic Hoosier, a monthly newsletter, is sent free of charge to an electronic mailing list. Since 1976, the Nationalities Council’s annual International Festival, held each fall at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, has been a popular “Celebration of Diversity” that introduces thousands of schoolchildren and adults to the wide range of Indy’s culinary, historical, social, ethnic and linguistic heritage.

This year, rather than narrow down their parade appearance to one or two nominal shots, I’ve decided turn the spotlight in their direction for an entire entry and post every usable shot we have, because that’s how impressive I thought they were. Further information regarding what they do is available at either of those last two links.

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Indy 500 Festival Parade 2015 Photos, Part 4 of 6: Floats and Balloons

Shrek!

The super-sized avatar of Mike Myers brings you a humongous dose of Memorial Day weekend cheer!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This year marked the fifth time my wife and I attended the Indy 500 Festival Parade in downtown Indianapolis. It’s an annual date-day tradition for us — partly to see the floats and high school marching bands, partly for the famous names (even if the rest of the audience loves them more than we do), and partly because I love the sight of a bustling downtown Indianapolis (which needs to happen every single weekend ever).

The next six entries (to be posted over the next few days as quickly as time and attention span permit) represent a fraction of the pics my wife and I snapped.

Part Four, then: floats! Balloons! Giant props! People in fuzzy costumes! And other mandatory components of all the greatest parades ever.

Right this way for inflatable heroes, sincere floats, and the star of a series that ran three seasons and a movie!

Indy 500 Festival Parade 2015 Photos, Part 3 of 6: This Year’s Guests

Nico & Vinz!

Pop stars Nico & Vinz were among this year’s parade headliners who were more familiar to viewers under 40 than they were to me. But still: Nico & Vinz!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This year marked the fifth time my wife and I attended the Indy 500 Festival Parade in downtown Indianapolis. It’s an annual date-day tradition for us — partly to see the floats and high school marching bands, partly for the famous names (even if the rest of the audience loves them more than we do), and partly because I love the sight of a bustling downtown Indianapolis (which needs to happen every single weekend ever).

The next six entries (to be posted over the next few days as quickly as time and attention span permit) represent a fraction of the pics my wife and I snapped.

Part Three, then: this year’s lineup of celebrity guests and local personalities of note. Actors, musicians, and athletes are a staple of the Indy 500 Festival Parade, and it’s always interesting to watch their responses and see how many of them and their companions whip out their phones to take pics while they’re on the move.

Right this way for Pacers, Colts, singers, a mascot, and more!

Indy 500 Festival Parade 2015 Photos, Part 2 of 6: Marching Bands!

Hornheads!

Some band photos are better than others. I’m thinking about using this one to go with my next pitch for a TV series called “Hornheads”.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This year marked the fifth time my wife and I attended the Indy 500 Festival Parade in downtown Indianapolis. It’s an annual date-day tradition for us — partly to see the floats and high school marching bands, partly for the famous names (even if the rest of the audience loves them more than we do), and partly because I love the sight of a bustling downtown Indianapolis (which needs to happen every single weekend ever).

The next six entries (to be posted over the next few days as quickly as time and attention span permit) represent a fraction of the pics my wife and I snapped.

Part Two: the full rundown on all the marching bands that performed in this year’s parade, who brought us the gift of music and hopefully also brought plenty of water or Gatorade for their long hours spent not-sitting during this bright, burning day. My wife was in high school marching band once, remembers those drawbacks all too well, feels your pain, and appreciates your sacrifice and talents.

Super-special note: if you’re in, or know someone who’s in, one of the following bands and would like to see more photos of them, please let us know. Either leave me a note in the comments section below or use the “Contact MCC!” form located up in the masthead. We’re used to receiving a few such requests every year and we’re more than happy to help out band members and their supporters. Between the two of us, though, we took over 600 photos today. I’m not going into photo overkill mode and cramming all of that into this entry until and unless I know someone besides us is genuinely interested.

Right this way for marching bands ahoy!