Yes, There’s a Scene After “The Wild Robot” End Credits

The Wild Robot nuzzling a gosling in its palm.

Concept art for my upcoming fanfic, “Atomic Robo Meets Henery Hawk”.

Today all animated films are guaranteed a release on popular streaming services pretty quickly after completion, whether the studios think they’re worth the effort of a few weeks’ theatrical run first or they’re quitters who send them direct-to-video, which isn’t quite as stigmatizing as it was in the Blockbuster Video era. In happier times my year-end movie-going lists used to be filled with animation, often ranking near or at the top. Nowadays, not so much — trailers and pro reviews aren’t dissuading my middle-ager’s skeptical inertia even when those films do become available for my streaming convenience. I haven’t bothered to add Strange World or Wish to my Disney+ queue, let alone watched them. Whether it’s rampant sequelitis or the innate mediocrity of jukebox musicals or a studio satisfied with selling half-hearted results, don’t hold your breath waiting for my opinions on Kung Fu Panda 4, the Trolls series, or anything containing a Minion after their debut.

Last time I paid full price for a DreamWorks Animated joint, it was in 2019 when the third How to Train Your Dragon proved the weakest of the trilogy. I largely ignored their subsequent, determinedly populist fare till I “had to” watch 2022’s Puss in Boots: The Last Wish as part of my annual Oscar Quest and was astonished at the results. I was therefore a little more receptive when DreamWorks announced their big 2024 release, The Wild Robot, would be directed by Chris Sanders, whose past works include Lilo & Stitch and the first How to Train Your Dragon — two all-ages spectacles he co-directed that I went into with low expectations only for my heart to grow three sizes too big by the end. With The Wild Robot, Sanders has now gone three-for-three with said enlarged heart.

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Yes, There Are Scenes During and After the “Transformers One” End Credits

Young Optimus Prime and Megatron sitting on a couch and smiling.

Just hanging out after work, two buddies who have each other’s backs and will never, ever, ever lead separate sides in a planetary civil war. Friendship!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Seeing every Transformers film in theaters, no matter how much we’ve come to dread them, is among our few enduring father/son traditions. He grew up as they grew bigger and dumber. Nevertheless, the boy and I would suffer each canned serving of Cinema In Name Only and always spend the car ride home dissecting them together…

After Michael Bay ruined toy robots for several generations of kids to come, damage control efforts have varied. Some gave it a nice try; some made things worse. We nearly excused ourselves from seeing Transformers One because the first trailer’s so-so kiddie-comedy vibe felt aimed at complete newbies with no Transformers experience because their parents shielded them from such harmful matter. Then came the showier, more dramatic second trailer, along with the surprisingly positive buzz from early screenings. Those factors convinced us to give the Robots in Disguise yet another chance. To our shock, T1 may in fact be one of the best Transformers feature films of all time, if partly by forfeit.

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Heartland Film Festival 2024 Screening #2: “Micro Budget”

Four young actors looking really helpless

Imagine if Don’t Look Up were made with nearly no money and its only agenda were “make ALL the money!” Now imagine the behind-the-scenes featurettes about that.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! Since 1992 my hometown of Indianapolis has presented the Heartland International Film Festival, a multi-day, multi-theater celebration of cinema held every October. Local moviegoers have the opportunity see over a hundred new works in the realms of documentaries, narrative features, shorts, and animation made across multiple continents from myriad points of the human experience. Some participants stop in Indy on their grand tour of Hollywood’s festival circuit; some are local productions on shoestring budgets; and a wide spectrum of claims are staked in the innumerable niches between, projects with well-known actors screening alongside indies with enormous hearts.

Heartland’s 33rd edition runs October 10-20, for which I’ve made plans to catch at least eight films in all (Lord willing). Longtime MCC readers know the rule: every film I see in theaters gets its own entry…

Next up on our to-do list is Micro Budget, an uproarious film-about-filmmaking, which of course means it’s legally guaranteed a Best Picture nomination. The uproarious satire’s skewering of indie movie production might seem offensive to other Heartland participants if they, like its witless fictional auteur, lacked any measurable integrity, artistry, or intent to at least watch a few “How to Make a Movie” YouTube tutorials, let alone see some actual movies while they’re at it.

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Heartland Film Festival 2024 Screening #1: “ReEntry”

Tentative movie poster for "ReEntry with Emily Deschanel and Sam Trammell in profile separated by a science fiction suit in an arched doorway.

Yes, our first film up is sci-fi. I gotta be me. But not all of them will be!

It’s that time again! Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: since 1992 my hometown of Indianapolis has presented the Heartland International Film Festival, a multi-day, multi-theater celebration of cinema held every October. Local moviegoers have the opportunity see over a hundred new works in the realms of documentaries, narrative features, shorts, and animation made across multiple continents from myriad points of the human experience. Some participants stop in Indy on their grand tour of Hollywood’s festival circuit; some are local productions on shoestring budgets; and a wide spectrum of claims are staked in the innumerable niches between, projects with well-known actors screening alongside indies with enormous hearts.

After a few brief dalliances with the festival in the past, last year I dove in a bit deeper and caught six movies in all. The fates of those films have varied in the months since — The Promised Land went on to make the Oscar shortlist for Best International Feature; Fancy Dance is now on Apple+ and remains a must-see for fans of Reservation Dogs or Dark Winds; the even tinier Avenue of the Giants has yet to find a distributor and was still assiduously touring as of this past spring; and so on. I appreciated the chance to see new features before they’re released to the world-at-large, and without waiting for pro critics to weigh in first.

Heartland’s 33rd edition runs October 10-20, for which I’ve made plans to catch at least eight films in all (Lord willing). Longtime MCC readers know the rule: every film I see in theaters gets its own entry. We kick things off with one of this year’s science fiction contestants, which held its official World Premiere right here at Heartland: a small-scale science fiction drama called ReEntry.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 5: Generation X Belongs in a Museum

Panasonic tape recorder from the '80s.

The first music-playing device I ever owned was a tape recorder like this one, but a cheaper brand.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…and took occasional breaks from Lincolnmania. Our random walking tour of the Illinois State Capitol Complex led us to the Illinois State Museum, on the opposite end of the grounds from the State Capitol. As of the date of our visit, their centerpiece special exhibit was called “Growing Up X” — basically a nostalgia prompt-fest of Stuff Generation X Kids Had. We resented the implication that we now belong in a museum and our hobbies (past and present) are anthropological specimens to be wall-mounted for scrutiny by younger generations who don’t get us, in hopes maybe one day they will get us through museum education. We wouldn’t have to take this drastic step if they’d paid attention to our Throwback Thursday posts on the socials.

As members of the scrutinized class, we were curious to see which artifacts were deemed worthy and representative of the lived experience of us kids who dearly wish Baby Boomers had raised us better. I wasn’t surprised to see a few playthings I still have around the house or boxed up in the garage. Some erudite wall space was dedicated to contextualizing our childhoods and the escapist lifelines that let us suspend reality a few minutes at a time. Their vitrines were packed with collectibles that could’ve been culled from a single, shrewd Amazon Marketplace vendor. Nevertheless, some objects evoked deeper responses than others.

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Star Trek to Chicago 2024 Photos, Part 6: And the Rest!

Anne doing jazz hands and wearing a pink sash in front of the neuroscience symposium gateway.

Anne showing off the cool new sash she got from the cosplayer Kai Ken, after he read her pagh and told her, “Walk with the Prophets.”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Creation Entertainment, one of America’s longest-running convention companies, runs an annual Star Trek gala in Las Vegas that invites scores of Trek cast and crew members to mingle with fans at Vegas prices and at a considerable remove from more than a few states. As a sort of outreach to us faraway fans, in 2024 Creation has launched a “Trek Tour” comprising much smaller versions of that vaunted Vegas show on the other side of the Rockies. This past weekend it was Chicago’s turn. The location was convenient and the guest lineup included so many missing names on Anne’s Trek-actor checklist, we did something we haven’t done in ages: we attended all three days, from the opening minutes Friday morning to the very end of the final panel Sunday night.

“Star Trek to Chicago” (Creation’s official name for the show; official abbreviation “ST-CHI”) was our first hotel-based con in a good while. We understood Creation handles some con aspects rather differently than the other companies we’re used to seeing annually. For Anne’s purposes, that guest list was worth setting aside our mild concerns and giving it a shot. We’re happy and relieved to report the show far exceeded our hesitant expectations.

Some of my past convention write-ups have been unwieldy in length because I’m prone to relating all the stories, including any quotidian ephemera outside the show itself. (A couple of those epic-length narratives were linked to on pro comics-news website, which only encouraged me to keep doing that. It’s been a while, though.) My congenial verbosity works much better if you pretend this writer is a caffeinated Aaron Sorkin character, but I can’t really adjust your internal monologue’s speed settings for you. For the sake of potential new readers, I tried paring down the daily recounts to the most relevant, Trek-forward anecdotes.

Here in the finale: the parts I skipped. Also: actor photo outtakes!

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Star Trek to Chicago 2024 Photos, Part 5: Sunday!

Anson Mount on stage, dressed darkly, listening patiently.

Anson Mount and that famous Captain’s hair.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Creation Entertainment, one of America’s longest-running convention companies, runs an annual Star Trek gala in Las Vegas that invites scores of Trek cast and crew members to mingle with fans at Vegas prices and at a considerable remove from more than a few states. As a sort of outreach to us faraway fans, in 2024 Creation has launched a “Trek Tour” comprising much smaller versions of that vaunted Vegas show on the other side of the Rockies. This past weekend it was Chicago’s turn. The location was convenient and the guest lineup included so many missing names on Anne’s Trek-actor checklist, we did something we haven’t done in ages: we attended all three days, from the opening minutes Friday morning to the very end of the final panel Sunday night.

“Star Trek to Chicago” (Creation’s official name for the show; official abbreviation “ST-CHI”) was our first hotel-based con in a good while. We understood Creation handles some con aspects rather differently than the other companies we’re used to seeing annually. For Anne’s purposes, that guest list was worth setting aside our mild concerns and giving it a shot. We’re happy and relieved to report the show far exceeded our hesitant expectations.

And now, the conclusion — yet another long day with too much fun from end to end. We had no more autographs or photo ops to pursue, just panels and more panels. Thanks to the limited square footage, the ubiquitous carpeting, and the complete lack of hours-long lines, this was our first multi-day convention in active memory not to leave our feet, legs, or backs sore and debilitated by the time we went home. We cherished the sensation of spending our final hours relaxed and not physically destroyed.

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Star Trek to Chicago 2024 Photos, Part 4: Saturday!

Jeri Ryan talking onstage, but somehow the picture rings her in a perfectly circular shadow.

In a mystifying happy accident, Anne managed a pic of Jeri Ryan’s Q&A that looks ripped from a Sears Portrait Studio wall.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Creation Entertainment, one of America’s longest-running convention companies, runs an annual Star Trek gala in Las Vegas that invites scores of Trek cast and crew members to mingle with fans at Vegas prices and at a considerable remove from more than a few states. As a sort of outreach to us faraway fans, in 2024 Creation has launched a “Trek Tour” comprising much smaller versions of that vaunted Vegas show on the other side of the Rockies. This past weekend it was Chicago’s turn. The location was convenient and the guest lineup included so many missing names on Anne’s Trek-actor checklist, we did something we haven’t done in ages: we attended all three days, from the opening minutes Friday morning to the very end of the final panel Sunday night.

“Star Trek to Chicago” (Creation’s official name for the show; official abbreviation “ST-CHI”) was our first hotel-based con in a good while. We understood Creation handles some con aspects rather differently than the other companies we’re used to seeing annually. For Anne’s purposes, that guest list was worth setting aside our mild concerns and giving it a shot. We’re happy and relieved to report the show far exceeded our hesitant expectations.

Friday was a good, quiet day to take care of necessary formalities, get a feel for the show’s procedures, learn the layout, and meet fellow fans. Our next day would be much busier and just as long. Rare is the con that persuades us to stick around from dawn to dusk.

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Star Trek to Chicago 2024 Photos, Part 3: Friday!

Anne smiling and posing with Cirroc Lofton at his table. He's at least 18 inches taller than she is.

Alternate take of that time we met Cirroc Lofton, best known as Jake Sisko from Deep Space Nine.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Creation Entertainment, one of America’s longest-running convention companies, runs an annual Star Trek gala in Las Vegas that invites scores of Trek cast and crew members to mingle with fans at Vegas prices and at a considerable remove from more than a few states. As a sort of outreach to us faraway fans, in 2024 Creation has launched a “Trek Tour” comprising much smaller versions of that vaunted Vegas show on the other side of the Rockies. This past weekend it was Chicago’s turn. The location was convenient and the guest lineup included so many missing names on Anne’s Trek-actor checklist, we did something we haven’t done in ages: we attended all three days, from the opening minutes Friday morning to the very end of the final panel Sunday night…

…skipping a Thursday night prelude where early birds could pick up their badges and see the vendors’ room before anyone else. We figured that’d be unnecessary because we weren’t convinced they could keep us occupied for three straight days, let alone bonus hours. Rather than holding court in a convention center, they set up shop at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare in Rosemont, next door to the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center (home of Fan Expo Chicago). They weren’t even using all the hotel’s meeting spaces — one ballroom was reserved for an unrelated neuroscience seminar. I presume those old scientists resisted any takeover bids from Creation and refused to add panels about Starfleet advancements in their field.

“Star Trek to Chicago” (Creation’s official name for the show; official abbreviation “ST-CHI”) was our first hotel-based con in a good while. I had to search the archives to remember our last such show (as it happens, HorrorHound Indy 2017). We also understood Creation handles some con aspects rather differently than the other companies we’re used to seeing annually. For Anne’s purposes, that guest list was worth setting aside our mild concerns and giving it a shot. We’re happy and relieved to report the show far exceeded our hesitant expectations.

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Star Trek to Chicago 2024 Photos, Part 2: Cosplay!

Anne posing with three different Uhura cosplayers.

Uhura Squad! Maybe they can save Paramount+!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Creation Entertainment, one of America’s longest-running convention companies, runs an annual Star Trek gala in Las Vegas that invites scores of Trek cast and crew members to mingle with fans at Vegas prices and at a considerable remove from more than a few states. As a sort of outreach to us faraway fans, in 2024 Creation has launched a “Trek Tour” comprising much smaller versions of that vaunted Vegas show on the other side of the Rockies. This past weekend it was Chicago’s turn. The location was convenient and the guest lineup included so many missing names on Anne’s Trek-actor checklist, we did something we haven’t done in ages: we attended all three days, from the opening minutes Friday morning to the very end of the final panel Sunday night…

Before we get into the anecdotes and panel rundowns, fandom law requires us to post costume photos ASAP. Please enjoy this modest collection of cosplayers who brightened our weekend around the show floor. We regret we can only represent some of the total cosplay wonderment that was on display throughout the weekend. We’re just an aging couple doing what we can for happy sharing fun. Enjoy! Corrections welcome for those we misidentified!

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Star Trek to Chicago 2024 Photos, Part 1: The Stars in Our Galaxy

Us doing jazz hands with Jeri Ryan!

It’s Jeri Ryan! You might remember her from such shows as Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Picard, Boston Public, Leverage, AMC’s Dark Winds, and more!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: my wife Anne and I are big fans of geek/comic/entertainment conventions. Anne’s first con was November 30, 1991; years later she introduced me to that world. Our hometown of Indianapolis would host a modest Star Trek-themed con every Thanksgiving weekend (and still does!). We attended several of them together, back when those were the only game in town for years. As we’ve expanded our travel capabilities over time, the past decade’s Midwest comic-con boom has afforded us far more options for geeking out together and in large crowds. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

The last Trek-themed show we attended was 2022’s Star Trek: Mission Chicago, a joint production between Paramount Pictures and ReedPOP (the producers of C2E2) that was meant to be the first in a series of large-scale gatherings celebrating the universe that Gene Roddenberry and his successors built. We attendees were impressed with the results; sadly, due apparently to insufficient attendance as measured by the unseen tricorders of The Powers That Be, plans for future installments were canceled.

Two years later, here we go again! Creation Entertainment, one of America’s longest-running convention companies, runs an annual Trek gala in Las Vegas that invites scores of Trek cast and crew members to mingle with fans at Vegas prices and at a considerable remove from more than a few states. As a sort of outreach to us faraway fans, in 2024 Creation has launched a “Trek Tour” comprising much smaller versions of that vaunted Vegas show on the other side of the Rockies. Two weeks ago they brought the fan-magic to Nashville; forthcoming stops are scheduled in New Jersey and Dallas. This past weekend it was Chicago’s turn. The location was convenient and the guest lineup included so many missing names on Anne’s Trek-actor checklist, we did something we haven’t done in ages: we attended all three days, from the opening minutes Friday morning to the very end of the final panel Sunday night.

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Best CDs of 2023 According to an Old Guy Who Bought 7

The covers of all seven albums reviewed in this entry, laid out on my kitchen table.

Alphabetically arranged by artist, the nominees were…

Hi, I’m Fat Casey Kasem and welcome to another Top Less-Than-Ten list! And no, that isn’t a coaster that got sorted into the middle row by accident.

As part of my annual series of year-in-review entries, some of which I procrastinate much longer than others, I remain one of six people nationwide who still prefers compact discs to digital downloads. My hangups about vinyl would require a separate essay unto themselves. My new-album splurges are rare because: (a) it’s increasingly tougher for new music to catch my ear as I grow older and more finicky; and (b) my favorite yesteryear acts died, stopped recording, or swiveled in directions away from me. That usually means missing out on what majorities loves, thus further dropping me down the bottomless wishing well into total irrelevance as chronicled on this very website a couple times per week.

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“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice”: The Curse of Repetition

Shadowy Beetlejuice's face mugs directly into the camera, bathed in bluish-green light.

Who’s gonna believe the star of such dramas as Dopesick and Clean and Sober could possibly headline a comedy?

Seems only fair if the Ghostbusters can stage a comeback tour decades past their prime, so can one of the biggest ghosts they never caught, right?

I was 15 when a young Tim Burton followed up his feature debut, the wacky and eminently quotable Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (in theaters when he was only 27!), with the even wackier and definitely more expensive Beetlejuice. The first few times I saw it, his hyperactive imagination, his fanciful take on afterlife bureaucracy, his mixed-media creations, and the ensemble’s zest were a welcome escape from reality into fun-house tomfoolery. But the more times I watched it, the more I noticed cracks in the seams and nitpicking got easier. Apart from a few low-key exceptions over the next few decades (Big Eyes, Big Fish) I’d come to accept Burton generally has little vested interest in narrative coherence. Many of his works are thin clotheslines from which he hangs edgy gags, fantastical monstrosities, and non sequitur set-pieces that were fun to draw in his concept sketchbooks and entertain best if you don’t pay close attention to what’s happening. They’re popcorn flicks for us art-class loners.

Now Burton is 66, our ghost-with-the-most Michael Keaton is a 73-year-old Emmy Award Winner, and I’m a middle-aged married loner, but 36 years later, here we all go again with Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. The old pals and two-time Bat-collaborators have locked elbows for a new nostalgia-fest with much of the same gags, same lines, same makeup ‘n’ wardrobe, same nearly everything.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 4: Around the Capitol Complex

Colorful 5-foot-tall top hat in a visitors' center. Images on the hat include young Abe Lincoln riding in a red car on a highway, a "Welcome to Springfield" sign, the official Lincoln's Home museum, and a wraparound cursive logo starting with the words "Road Trippin'".

A giant top hat welcomes road-trippers to the Illinois State Capitol Complex Visitors Center. We do love being seen.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

After our scenic tour inside the Illinois State Capitol, we returned to the car, drove over to the Capitol Complex behind the building, and drove a few laps around their visitor parking lots until a space finally opened up closer to our next attraction. Some spaces were cordoned off for a construction project; others were taken up by a few buses whose passengers we never encountered. The complex was apparently a popular place on Friday mornings.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 3: The Illinois State Capitol

Looking up inside a capitol dome. Brown and tan stained glass middle ring, green center circle, circular silvery frieze in the outer circle. Around the perimeter are archways to various halls.

In 9 out of 10 capitol buildings, looking up into the dome is the coolest part.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

Case in point: after Lincoln’s tomb we wandered into downtown Springfield for some local flavor and sightseeing, only some of which was Lincoln-cenetered. Naturally we had to add the Illinois State Capitol to our state capitol collection, since we were already adding Springfield itself to our state capital collection anyway. We just really like collecting stuff.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 2: More Wars, More Memorials

Large all-white globe on an outdoor pedestal. The Pacific Ocean side has metal discs marking locations where Illinoisans died in combat.

The World War II Illinois Veterans Memorial marks casualty locations across the Pacific theater.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

The Lincoln Tomb is the most widely known part of Oak Ridge Cemetery, but curious visitors can find other departed souls and tributes to hometown soldiers who sacrificed their lives for their country, not just the Civil War. Whereas many cities and towns we’ve visited tend to plant their war memorials in or around their capitol buildings, town squares, Main Streets, or downtown areas, Springfield’s collection is near Oak Ridge’s west exit, at a remove from all the other Lincoln sightseeing options. Once again we had to navigate around field-trippers to take pics, as well as a small biker clan that had come to pay respects to the fallen they knew.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 1: The Tomb of Honest Abe

Indoor brown rectangular monument shaped like a tall sarcophagus. Inscribed on the front: "Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865". State flags line the curved yellow wall behind it, plus the quote "Now he belongs to the ages."

President #16, Abraham Lincoln, d.4/15/1865, age 56.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: in addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. Sometimes there’ll be a convention or special event fortuitously scheduled for the occasion; other times, we’ll take a short road trip somewhere we haven’t been before. The time spent together is the best birthday gift, every May for me and every October for her. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

I’d rather not relive how we spent my birthday this year, but I’m more than happy to leap-frog past it to May 2023 and recount a much cheerier experience. Perhaps “cheerier” is the wrong word considering our first stop was a cemetery.

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The MCC Presidential Burial Site Visitation Checklist (so far)

Inside George Washington's tomb: two marble coffins and a wreath on a stand that was just placed moments before in a daily ceremony.

#1, George Washington! d.12/14/1799, age 67. His and Martha’s sarcophagi share a vault at Mount Vernon, in this teaser image from our 2024 road trip.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: every year since 1999 my wife Anne and I have taken a trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. We also like to travel on our respective birthday weekends — sometimes to comic conventions that just so happen to coincide with our celebrations of continued existence, sometimes to neighboring towns and states of significance to our interests. After being raised as virtual shut-ins, it’s been a joy to expand our horizons together, gradually and on a modest budget. We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

Among our many recurring motifs are final resting places of Presidents of the United States of America. Anne is a major history buff whose vacation research leans heavily to famous American people, places, events, and artifacts. In our early traveling days, a few dead Presidents just so happened to be located near sites we were seeing for other reasons, or on the same convenient roadside. As we’ve diversified our directions over time and expanded the scope of what we considered a “point of interest”, the late leaders of our nation kept ranking on our to-do lists. They’ve basically become a long-term side quest for us. We earn no trophies or high-fives from imaginary teammates; we’re just seeing how many of them we can visit before we’re too old or broken down to continue.

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“Alien: Romulus”: When the Perfect Killing Machine Stops Evolving

Red-and-black poster with a xenomorph face-hugger attached to a buzz-cut Asian actress.

In space, no one complains about eating the same meal rations again and again and again.

I can’t speak for fans of Ghostbusters or of Harry Potter post-Deathly Hallows, but whenever I get attached to an IP, I’m excited whenever that universe shows signs of forward motion or at least simulating it. Granted, when it comes to the Alien movies, my opinions are already warped — James Cameron’s Aliens is one of my Top 5 films ever, which I saw years before I got around to Ridley Scott’s original. I also respected Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s engagingly bonkers Alien Resurrection for pushing the series’ boundaries and actually getting somewhere — anywhere — after edgy pre-auteur David Fincher’s Alien³ ramrodded Ellen Ripley’s story into a literal dead end.

All Alien works since then have treated Resurrection as The End, and/or as a disowned mistake. Directors — not to mention writers of its various transmedia spinoffs — limit themselves to rooting around the limited preceding timeline for unoccupied dance floors where they can twirl in place and try out their freshest moves, never quite distracting from how the club has had the same dusty disco strobe and jukebox since 1997. Double-dates with Predators were one-night stands that no one could maintain eye contact with. When Scott himself barged back in indignantly all, “SEE HERE NOW!” we knew he could make spaceships shinier and creatures slimier, but Prometheus gave us a half-unwritten origin and Alien: Covenant was a cram session to finish the same assignment in as few pages as possible.

27 years later the franchise continues moving nowhere at sub-FTL velocity with Alien: Romulus, a pre-sequel brazenly set between Alien and Aliens in hopes of blending in, in more ways than one. I’ve seen no previous works by Fede Álvarez or his co-writer Rodo Sayagues (though Don’t Breathe is on my extremely long mental to-do list), so I came into this with few preconceptions except a faint awareness that gore is his medium. I saw the first trailer at C2E2 with an exclusive Álvarez intro, which was promising, but the second gave away way too much. I offered benefit of the doubt for as long as I could.

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Disney World! Part 31: The Season Finale and the Magic Outtakes

Cinderella Castle shot closely enough to cut off its spires but far enough away that the dozen or so cast members dancing onstage are tiny. A giant Disney World 50th-anniversary seal is still mounted on the castle.

Alternate shot of the 4:00 Thursday performance of Mickey’s Magical Friendship Faire at Cinderella Castle.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…though we treasured the free times allotted to her in between. Nevertheless, the trip reached its conclusion. Before we leave Orlando behind, let’s take a look back at a selection of outtakes that didn’t make the cut in our previous thirty chapters for various reasons. I’ve arguably posted too many pics as it is, in this epic-length vacation slideshow carousel that didn’t quite hold its audience captive. The average internet user has likely been to Disney theme parks multiple times in their lives and may chuckle at the expense of us starstruck bumpkins who’ve gone on and on about this. Congrats on your affluent first-world upbringing that we didn’t quite have. To us the Disney World trip was like a one-in-a-billion lottery win minus the devastating tax burden. And I’d wager our ending credit card balances were smaller than yours.

Anyway: last call for Disney World photos! And an epilogue.

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