Disney World! Part 29: Magic Meals and Mouse Food

Two Dole Whip floats sitting on a shaded wooden shelf, refer to caption.

Disney World superfans love Dole Whips! At left, the basic pineapple soft-serve float. At right, the Tropical Serenade — pineapple-orange-guava juice, coconut ice cream, and a pineapple upside-down cake pop.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and the handlers kept the winners well fed during the employees-only Tuesday night meet-and-greet beach party, Wednesday morning’s mandatory hours-long business-related seminars, and the Wednesday night company dinner party-trap. As you can imagine, we were much more excited to sample concessions and cuisine from the actual Disney World parks on our own recognizance.

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Disney World! Part 28: Magic Kingdom After Dark

Disney's Cinderella Castle lit up all over at night, lots of blue and mostly purple.

Color me floored by Cinderella Castle’s surprising nighttime resemblance to the current Walt Disney Pictures title card.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and time was running out in her one free day. We had less 90 minutes to spend before we had to leave the Magic Kingdom for an appointment. We tried to make them count.

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Disney World! Part 27: The Magic Kingdom Beyond the Castle

Bronze Lincoln bust on a pedestal in front of a black-and-white painting of Walt Disney.

We found their miniature American history museum! And you can’t have one of those without a bust of Lincoln.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t have to, so we could do actual tourism together in this supernaturally fun place where our families could never afford to visit in childhood, unlike all the other, more well-off whitebread kids who outnumbered us tens-of-millions-to-2. Thus we spent our afternoon in the Magic Kingdom wandering more than riding, gawking more than waiting in lines, and feeling dumbstruck at sights that surely would’ve blown our minds if we’d come here as kids. It was impossible to hold onto our Gen-X jadedness here.

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Disney World! Part 26: It’s a Small, Small, Small, Small World

Three cutesy singing animatronic figurines with tribal face paints, two mushroom-shaped and one shaped like a thumb. Everything's blue and purple.

Welcome to animatronic Africa with mood lighting!

I ask you, what better time than right now for a shiny happy feel-good gallery of an alternate Earth in which everyone sets aside their differences, concedes they were all cranked out by the same animatronic manufacturer, celebrates mutual captivity on the same indoor canal, welcomes outsiders without fear of mass shootings or assassinations, and drowns out any concerns by singing the same catchy jingle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

…sorry, what were we talking about?

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Disney World! Part 25: Adventure Friends Cavalcade

Disney World parade cast members: Mary Poppins and Stitch, dancing. Mary's eyes are closed. Bert the chimney sweep is nearly offscreen, aghast at something.

If Mary Poppins thinks those Banks whelps were a handful, wait’ll she gets a load of Stitch.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t. We didn’t leave ourselves a lot of time to explore the Magic Kingdom park — i.e., the one with the world-famous castle in it — but we encountered plenty of surprises in the short time allotted.

Case in point: the Disney Adventure Friends Cavalcade! There we were, wandering toward the northern border of Frontierland when we ran into a newly formed roadblock, which made way for a slew of Disney characters to emerge from a gate on our left. An even mix of popular favorites and deep-dive obscurities merrily danced, pranced, strolled, fed upon adulation, and maybe taught us a lesson that sometimes there are good reasons to stop traffic.

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Disney World! Part 24: Dance Party at Cinderella Castle

Hundreds of guests walking up to the fancy magic castle on a bright spring day.

This was the wallpaper on my work computer for the next several months.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, free of company business and responsibilities, so we could at last spend quality time together at The Most Magical Place on Earth™. After indulging for a couple hours back at the resort to recuperate from our intergalactic morning at Hollywood Studios, we followed our Park Hopper pass to the one place where sixteen billion Disney World blogs say you’re supposed to start your travelogue, rather than holding it back till Chapter 24: at Disney’s Magic Kingdom park, starring the iconic Cinderella Castle.

(My stubborn insistence on burying the lede in its exact position in the narrative might explain why this miniseries’ traffic has been demoralizingly negligible, which in turn is why I haven’t bothered rushing it. Or maybe it’s because everyone on Earth already read those first sixteen billion Disney World blogs and has zero interest in giving pity-clicks to #16,000,000,001. Or everyone’s richer than we are and you’ve already been there six times and I’m boring you with what you’ve already seen for yourself. Nevertheless, here we are!)

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Disney World! Part 23: Hurray for Hollywood Studios

Disney World cast member in Daisy Duck costume standing on a picnic blanket in the grass, pointing way off to our left. Behind her is a large square arch with a Disney's Hollywood Studios sign.

Daisy Duck doing her best Babe Ruth impression.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, which we began at Hollywood Studios because, apropos of us, that’s where Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge was. We didn’t ride any more rides that morning, but we found plenty to photograph beyond the worlds of Star Wars, Toy Story and the Muppets. ‘Tis a magical place!

(Especially the palm trees, which were everywhere we turned. We don’t have those back home in Indiana, but judging by these pics, you’d think they were the only things we were excited to see.)

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Disney World! Part 22: It’s the Muppet Show!

On the side of a colorful exterior hodgepodge wall is a large clock with Kermit's face in the middle and twelve circled stars instead of numbers. The hands point to 2:00.

It’s Kermit o’clock somewhere!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, when we ran straight to Disney’s Hollywood Studios and went crazy Broadway-style. Several blocks’ worth of Star Wars bazaar and flight simulators had taken our breath away, and the Toy Story section had turned Andy’s bedroom floor into a veritable sculpture garden, but deep down in the geeky grade-schooler in me, all of them take a back seat to the Muppets, who were first to plant their freak-flag in his heart

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Disney World! Part 21: Toy Story Land

Roller coaster shaped like Slinky Dog rides 20+ feet in the air over a walkway that looks like a video game racetrack. It has circular arches; the front one says "GO!"

The Slinky Dog Dash coaster! No, we aren’t on it.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day to do whatever we wanted in Disney World vicinity, whether it was riding rides or just wandering around them. Other options included Disney Springs or just wallowing at the Grand Floridian’s spa facility. Some options were more tempting than others.

We’d dallied for so long in Galaxy’s Edge that everyplace else in Hollywood Studios had crowded up in the meantime. We next sauntered north to Toy Story Land, Star Wars’ next-door neighbor geographically and corporate-family-wise. Much of the area is for the kiddos, but grown-ups have options, too. After escaping the First Order and piloting the Millennium Falcon our inner whirligiggish sens-o-meters were at max capacity for a while. We middle-agers were plenty entertained walking around this alt-universe showcase of what Andy’s bedroom might’ve looked like at worm’s-eye-view if he’d been jointly cloned from Frank Lloyd Wright and Pee-Wee Herman.

We loved the designs of the rides, the buildings, the statues, the muchness of it all. We were intoxicated with that long-lost sensation we used to get every time Pixar made a new film.

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Disney World! Part 20: The Museum of Star Wars

Full Rey desert costume including goggles and face mask, plus big fictional speeder parked behind her. Exhibit backdrop is a nighttime desert with a rich, bluish-purple sky.

One of Daisy Ridley’s Rey costumes and her speeder.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off to enjoy together from dawn to dusk. Galaxy’s Edge was of course our feature presentation and favorite part of the entire vacation, but it wasn’t the only place to find Star Wars in Hollywood Studios. Up on the northwest side of the park, their Animation Courtyard section held Star Wars Launch Bay, a low-key gallery of props, vehicles, posters, miniatures, and other arts sprung forth from the collective Lucasfilm imagination. The building itself was removed from the main thoroughfares and a bit depressing with its all-black walls and minimalist adornment apart from the objets d’art themselves. It was a stark contrast from the rest of the uniformly eye-popping park and sparsely attended. It was arguably a good place for a time-out for guests who could use mental-health intermissions away from overpopulated theme-park hubbub.

On the “pro” side: it was more sights to see from, of, and about the Star Wars. Consider it extra credit to the interactive Galaxy’s Edge experience, albeit a few blocks down the road from all those superior, more lavishly exhibited areas.

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