“Sleepy Hollow” 11/10/2014 (spoilers): Soul Food and Heartburn

Blue Succubus!

Soul-sucking demon or not, nightclub mood lighting isn’t flattering to anyone.

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Katrina Crane escaped the villains’ grasp, only to be cursed with a magical evil pregnancy intended to birth a bouncing baby Moloch, which her husband Ichabod thwarted by using an artifact to upconvert ordinary sunlight into the Aurora Borealis, a demon baby’s one weakness. An unperturbed Henry Parish moved quickly to his next scheme involving a jar of red liquid with large contaminants floating around inside. Meanwhile, Abbie Mills showed up for Election Day but never found out if her vote made a difference.

In tonight’s new episode, “Heartless”…it’s Our Heroes versus a succubus! I first learned about those from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual. Or maybe it was the Fiend Folio. I forget which. That game taught me a lot of mythology and folklore at an early age. Succubi definitely weren’t a Level-1 monster, I remember that much.

For those who missed out, my attempt to hash out the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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MCC Home Video Scorecard #3: Histories Rewritten

Disney's Lone Ranger!

Coming next fall to The CW: Winklevoss and Wonka! They’re loose-cannon buddy-cops, hot on the trail of Mike Teavee and the Facebook Staff!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: the recurring feature that’s me jotting down capsule-sized notes about Stuff I Recently Watched at home. In this batch: an expensive tale about Massive Explosions of the Oooold West; an epic from the end of China’s Warring States period; a World War II short story about the time they almost killed Hitler; and an animated sort-of adaptation of a famous novel about an honorary teen pirate.

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“Sleepy Hollow” 11/3/2014 (spoilers): Katrina the Pregnant Witch

Sleepy Hollow!

It’s Election Day in Sleepy Hollow! May the best not-evil, not-undead candidate win!

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: the late Sheriff Corbin’s long-lost son became a Wendigo; the jailed Captain Irving got more charges added on to his rap sheet; Crane learned to hate yoga; we learned the truth about Squire Boone, secret cannibal; and Henry sent a magical spider made of super-poison to sneak inside a sleeping Katrina’s open mouth.

In tonight’s new episode, “Deliverance”, Our Heroes face an immaculate inception, moral debates about elderly little boys lost, a new name for Moloch, the secret healing power of the Northern Lights, and the wonder of Election Day. Crane’s fake papers may not be enough to bypass local voter ID laws, but he’s more than happy to offer suggestions to Lieutenant Abbie, who’s proud that it only took 180 years and two amendments before American black women like her could finally vote, so you darn well better believe she’s gonna. As a consolation prize, Abbie gives Crane her “I Voted” sticker, so no one can say the democratic process left this privileged white man totally empty-handed.

For those who missed out, my attempt to streamline the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #21- 22: “Jane the Virgin” vs. “Mike Tyson Mysteries”

Gina Rodriguez!

I haven’t forgotten about this very special project, but I had a certain viewing/posting order in mind that would’ve put some thematic coupling to these entries. That plan was derailed when two of the pilots on the master list were not available for viewing On Demand, my primary source of after-airing catch-up. I’m in the process of making special arrangements to see those two without resorting to pirating or (ugh) buying them on iTunes. That leaves me with two pilots I’ve watched in the past month that share absolutely nothing in common except that I haven’t covered them yet. Maybe this works if we all agree to pretend Jane the Virgin and Mike Tyson are mismatched buddy-cops who have to get along for the sake of their jobs, and that there are high stakes and…I don’t even know how to finish this sentence in any remotely entertaining manner. The two series are like comparing apples and Edsels. I give.

Onward, then:

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“Horns”: The Devil’s Dues and Don’ts

Horns.

The protesters were right all along: Harry Potter is the Devil.

Horror is rarely my thing anymore, but Horns was a different, rarer event for me: a movie based on a novel I’d actually read. Checking out the original book was a natural leap since I was a fan of author Joe Hill’s comics series Locke & Key. I was also curious to see how his writing style compared to his famous father’s. (Summed up: Hill’s dark, rural underside doesn’t have his dad’s grandiloquent flourishes, but his lean-‘n’-mean approach is pretty propulsive nonetheless.)

My reaction to the novel was a bit mixed, but I felt compelled to check out the movie version anyway — partly out of curiosity, and partly because nearly three months had passed since I watched any 2014 releases (my last theater trip was for Guardians of the Galaxy) and I’ve been itching to see something new. And Horns happened to be available On Demand before its U.S. theatrical release on Halloween, so I figured why not. ‘Twas the season.

…and I have to mention it stars the Daniel Radcliffe, the Man Who Lived. That part’s important to some, I suppose.

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MCC Home Video Scorecard #2: Costumes and Scares

42: the Jackie Robinson Story!

Chadwick Boseman: a black hero in a white genre.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: we launched a new recurring feature that’s me jotting down capsule-sized notes about not-new movies I catch at home. In this batch of Stuff I Recently Watched: two recent horror DVDs that were given to me for free, just in time for Halloween; one Shakespearean adaptation with a most unusual costuming approach; and one period-piece/biopic featuring an actor whose biggest starring role yet was just announced earlier today with much delightful fanfare.

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/27/2014 (spoilers): Everyone Knows It’s Wendigo

Sleepy Hollow!

Abbie and Crane share drinks and toast to absent characters at the Tarrytown Cheers.

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Ichabod Crane learned his beloved Katrina was keeping yet another secret from him, this one involving the accidental death (or was it murder) of his long-lost ex-fiancé, who returned from the dead as a zombie naiad and killed a dear friend. Meanwhile, Crane’s evil son Henry Parish received evil demerits from his demon overlord Moloch for not submitting this petty revenge exercise through the proper evil approval channels.

In tonight’s new episode, “And the Abyss Gazes Back”, it’s time to meet yet another long-lost family member we never knew: Our Heroes meet Zach Appelman as Joe Corbin, son of the late Sheriff Corbin, for which Clancy Brown returns in another minute of new voiceover. Joe’s got a secret, Henry’s got plans, Hawley brings friends, Jenny brings organs, Captain Irving faces temptation, and Crane faces the sinister threat of backstabbing gamers. Also, there’s a monster.

For those who missed out, my attempt to streamline the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #20: “Constantine”

John Constantine!

“The power of comics compels you to watch! The power of comics compels you to watch! Um, uh, accio remote!

It’s time for more comic book TV! Longtime readers know John Constantine from his first appearance as an obnoxious Swamp Thing ally and/or as the star of his own mature-readers DC/Vertigo series that ran for 25 years before it was canceled and replaced by a more mainstream version ready-made for super-hero crossovers. Too many movie viewers first knew him as the focus of just another failed Keanu Reeves vehicle, whose high point was Tilda Swinton as a creepy angel. The new John in NBC’s Constantine is basically Dr. Strange on zero hours’ sleep wearing Harvey Bullock’s clothes. Regardless, the cunning yet selfish antihero has been handled by so many great writers over the decades, shown in so many states of mind operating in so many peculiar ways, that this pilot had no chance of pleasing all the people all of the time.

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/20/2014 (spoilers): The Daughter in the Water is the Plotter of Slaughter

Bram and Katrina!

A not-quite-tender moment between Abraham van Brunt (Neil Jackson), a.k.a. the Headless Horseman, a.k.a. Death, and Katrina Crane, Spy Witch (Katia Winter).

(…because it would’ve been too easy to run with “The Rain of Pain Falls Mainly on Crane”.)

Anyway. Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Our Heroes killed a Pied Piper, our man Crane (Tom Mison) became an unlicensed stunt driver, Nick Hawley (Matt Barr) got paid for broken merchandise, Henry Parish (John Noble) added some crushed bone flute to his pantry, and the Sleepy Hollow Word of the Day was “gillygaupus”, which means “a stupid, awkward person”. Did you use it in a sentence this week? Good job! Was it directed at someone else online? If so, why am I not surprised?

In tonight’s new episode, “The Weeping Lady”, mean Captain Reyes and the entire Irving family remain offstage as Our Heroes must face the undead threat of…Ichabod Crane’s evil ex-girlfriend!

For those who missed out, my attempt to streamline the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #19: “Star Wars Rebels”

Star Wars Rebels!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…the Keystone Kops were alive and well and still wearing useless helmets.

Star Wars Rebels is the first of two animated pilots on the project list, and one of the very few that my wife and I had planned to try anyway. She’s a longtime dedicated Star Wars fan with an Expanded Universe emphasis, as are some of my oldest internet cohorts. Together we watched nearly every episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars until its abrupt cancellation. We number among the many thousands of fans waiting impatiently and vainly for closure on the life of former Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano. Regardless, we’d look and feel weirder if we didn’t give the new show a try.

Far as I can tell, nearly everyone who’ll love any media product with the words “Star Wars” on it has given the show an A for existing. So far to me, it’s Firefly for kids. There’s some good and some less-good in that.

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MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #18: “The Flash”

The Flash!

Of all twenty-six pilots in this series, I had more mixed emotions about The Flash in advance than I did any of the rest. When I began collecting comics at age six, Barry Allen was one of the first heroes to teach me about truth, justice, and sequential numbering in long-running comics. I still have issues #270-350, along with the first 200+ issues of Wally West’s subsequent series (including the weirdly numbered Zero Hour and DC One Million crossovers). The first time he came to TV in 1990, I’d taped nearly every episode on VHS years before DVD was a thing, and when it became a thing and the show was eventually granted its release, finally getting to see the legendarily preempted Captain Cold episode was, pardon the expression, pretty cool. Until several years ago, I was a longtime fan of the Flash legacy.

I entered with trepidation into his new vehicle produced by The CW, purveyors of the frequently aggravating Smallville, which left me with so many negative emotions that to this day I still haven’t convinced myself to try a single episode of Arrow because I assumed the results would be similar or worse. (I haven’t forgotten Birds of Prey, either. Yikes.) Knowing that The Flash was a direct spinoff from a show I’m not watching didn’t encourage me, nor did the announcement that both shows are already planning their first crossover (ugh). Insert obligatory reference here to other problems with translating DC heroes to other media, especially movies.

But it’s on the list. So I gave it a try. And I was happy to be surprised. (Fair warning to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet: one paragraph in this entry covers the specific subject of Easter eggs. If you’re a fan of those and plan to savor them as a surprise someday, consider this your courtesy spoiler warning.)

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/13/2014: Pasty Piper Packed a Peck of Prickly Perils

Abbie Mills!

I’d normally add a silly caption to this pic of Abbie holding a bone flute, but I’m having trouble thinking of anything humerus.

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Lt. Abbie Mills and Ichabod Crane chased after a coin that turned townspeople to the Dark Side; we met Nick Hawley (Matt Barr), greedy magic-item hunter; Irving was moved to Tarrytown Psychiatric but learned his defense attorney is the Horseman War; and, speaking of which, Henry is Sleepy Hollow’s newest, evillest, busiest shyster — none more qualified to teach young deviants How to Get Away With Murder.

In tonight’s new episode, “Go Where I Send Thee…” Jenny Mills, Katrina Crane, the Horseman, and meddling Captain Reyes are benched for the week while Our Heroes meet a new foe — a whirling dervish with a familiar name, an ancient vendetta, supernatural swordsmanship, and an edgy tune for the kids.

For those who missed out, my attempt to streamline the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #16-17: “Black-ish” / “Mulaney”

Black-ish!

Don’t look at me for a caption. They got this covered.

In this corner, a onetime almost-movie star who has his own Food Network show! In that corner: a former SNL writer with some standup comedy experience! These two sitcoms have almost nothing in common, not even their ratings. I watched the pilots for both a while back and procrastinated doing anything with my notes…until now.

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MCC Home Video Scorecard #1: Monsters Overseas

Moses!

Moses (John Boyega) parts the sea of critters in Attack the Block.

In my ongoing quest to scribble things down before they vanish from memory and personal history, for a while now I’ve been trying to coming up with a system for jotting down notes about the movies I watch at home. I normally limit my movie writing to new theatrical releases, indies On Demand, and Best Picture nominees during Oscar season, but I’d like to engage in slightly more notetaking for the fun of it — tracking what I watch as I go and recording my impressions in brief, not in 2000-word list-bombs. Once I’ve forgotten the entire movie six months from now, I can return to my previous capsule and remind myself whether or not it was worth remembering.

On to the first batch of Stuff I Recently Watched…

MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #13-15: “Gracepoint” / “Murder” / “Stalker”

Gracepoint!

Our Heroes prepped for their roles by attending a seminar on “Surviving an American Remake of a European Series” and then reading viewer complaints about The Killing.

This very special, pretty unwise MCC project continues!

I’m combining three entries in one for simple bookkeeping reasons. See, some MCC entries get Likes from fellow WordPress users. Some MCC entries see an uptick in site traffic. Some rare MCC specimens are blessed enough to garner both. Up to this point most of the MCC 2014 Pilot Binge entries have been earning neither. Even spammerbot accounts are looking at them and thinking, “This no good! We go spam other bloggers! You call when you go back to posting photos! THEN we link you to counterfeit Louboutins long time!”

I refuse to quit the project because that’s the kind of mule-headed fool I am, even if means more TV viewing discomfort. A few pilots may still merit individual entries in the future, but I’ve received the message loud and clear that not every impression I have is worth 700-1,000 words. It doesn’t help that my tastes are sometimes confounding and governed by peculiar guidelines. Regardless, we’ll see what we can do with this silent input and go from there.

And now, a few words on three pilots about MURDER.

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“Sleepy Hollow” 10/6/2014 (spoilers): Silver Malignings Playbook

From the Judas Mint!

Collect twenty-nine more of these and you can trade in for one corrupted Apostle, or wait till you see what’s behind Door #2…

Previously on Sleepy Hollow: Captain Irving was committed to Tarrytown Psychiatric for easier visitation rights and unknowingly signed a contract with War in blood; Jenny Mills was sent back to jail by Abbie’s clueless new boss; Our Heroes reassembled Ben Franklin’s American Frankenstein using Death’s skull, but forgot to put a leash on it; and Ichabod’s wife pitched her new spinoff Katrina Crane, Spy Witch, which might have a shot when Fox pulls the plug on Utopia.

In this week’s new episode, “Root of All Evil”, family secrets are revealed, money is the bad guy, small-town law firms are shady, trust is a commodity, and Crane recoils from an abomination that the rest of society too easily tolerates: men who wear hats indoors.

For those who missed out, my attempt to streamline the basic events follows after this courtesy spoiler alert for the sake of time-shifted viewers…

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Awesome Con 2014 Photos, Part 3 of 3: What We Did and Who We Met

Awesome Con entrance!

Gateway to Awesome! Ostensibly.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This weekend my wife and I attended the inaugural Awesome Con Indianapolis, the latest attempt to bring the geek convention life to our fair-sized city. [yadda yadda yadda] The important thing for now is, there were costumes! And photos of same!

Our Awesome Con experience wasn’t entirely about cosplay photos. Our day had its successes and disappointments.

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Awesome Con 2014 Photos, Part 2 of 3: More Costumes!

Vince Glortho!

Louis Tully, a.k.a. Vince Glortho. Hobbies include Twister, Parcheesi, locking himself out, and warning us how we’ll all perish in flames.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

This weekend my wife and I attended the inaugural Awesome Con Indianapolis, the latest attempt to bring the geek convention life to our fair-sized city. [yadda yadda yadda] The important thing for now is, there were costumes! And photos of same!

Last time: half of our cosplayer photos. This time: the other half of our cosplayer photos. Regrettably, we didn’t attend the Saturday evening costume contest, but we like to think we saw our fair share. Otherwise, the same MCC disclaimers apply as last time.

Right this way for costumes, costumes, and costumes!

Awesome Con 2014 Photos, Part 1 of 3: Marvel and DC Costumes

Surf Joker!

Best Joker of the Year. Not just a fan creation, this getup was from a specific episode of the ’66 series that my wife remembers in detail. When the DVD boxed set comes out in November, her pain can be yours, too!

This weekend my wife and I attended the inaugural Awesome Con Indianapolis, the latest attempt to bring the geek convention life to our fair-sized city. The great and powerful Gen Con has had an established presence for years, but cons for other interests besides gaming have had mixed results. In March, the first Indiana Comic Con brought in actors from Game of Thrones and drew in a crowd of thousands that they were ill-equipped to handle, resulting in hundreds (at least) of angry citizens being locked out and turned away. At the end of May, the first Indy PopCon brought in a healthy mix of actors and comics creators, but attendance fell short of expectations. Awesome Con is our newest contestant, an expansion of a company whose previous efforts were in Washington, DC.

Like Indy PopCon, Awesome Con had no specific focus, mixing guests and dealers from the worlds of comics, gaming, TV, animation, and so on. We tried to keep our expectations modest after our previous experiences, but when the local news media kept boasting attendance expectations of 30,000+, particularly in light of the con’s numerous TV ads and interviews, we wondered if perhaps things would go differently this time.

More about that later. The important thing for now is, there were costumes! And photos of same!

Standard caveat for newcomers to MCC: This is something my wife and I enjoy doing, to show our appreciation and awe for those with the flair for this particular aspect of the scene. We apologize in advance for the costumes we missed, and for the non-professional results. Comments and especially corrections are always welcome and appreciated. She and I aren’t plugged directly into every single geek scene out there, so if you notice any wanton acts of mislabeling, please don’t hesitate to call me out. I enjoy learning about new worlds and universes, giving credit where it’s due, and dispelling my old man’s ignorance.

Right this way for round one!

MCC 2014 Pilot Binge #12: “Bad Judge”

Bad Judge, Worse Show.

“Time for karaoke! Where do we start? ‘Bad Reputation’? ‘I Am Woman’? ‘Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves’? ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T’? Or something by the Fray?”

In case the title Bad Judge was a little too shorthand and didn’t prepare you, the pilot is quick to give you everything you need to know to form your own snap judgment and recuse your TV from the rest of the proceedings. I assume it owes some gratitude and royalties to either Bad Teacher or Bad Santa, but I really wouldn’t know and intend to stay ignorant of all such likenesses.

Before I continue, I suppose I could add a courtesy spoiler alert for anyone who’s saving this mistrial on their DVR for a rainy, thundering, frog-pouring kind of day. The element of surprise certainly didn’t help me out.

…so, where were we?