Panamanian golden frogs — critically endangered, rather poisonous, and adorable hanging together from their little leaf shelter.
Before writing this chapter, Anne and I watched the first episode of the BBC’s inspiring, horrifying, utterly gorgeous Planet Earth II on Netflix, and now I’m ashamed of every inadequate animal photo we’ve ever taken. But let’s proceed with another batch of zoo memories anyway.
Sorry, chocoholics, this yummy-looking deer is merely a display item.
In my son’s youth we tried to accommodate him on our road trips with at least one kid-friendly stop, usually either an amusement park or zoo. This year, thanks to the generosity of groundbreaking chocolatier Milton Hershey, we got two for the price of one.
DAY 7: Retracing our path up I-64, once again passing the West Virginia State Capitol. And a biker dude.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, marvels, history, and institutions we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. Beginning with 2003’s excursion to Washington DC, we added my son to the roster and tried to accommodate his preferences and childhood accordingly.
Our 2007 drive down to Orlando had one personal milestone for me: my first contact with the Atlantic Ocean. My moment lasted about ten minutes before thunderstorms chased us away from the coast. As Atlantic beach experiences go, Florida gave me a lousy first impression. For 2008 we decided a second try was in order. Rather than take back-to-back trips to the same state, we researched other east-coast beach options, judged them by their nearby attractions, adjusted for our modest budget that couldn’t possibly afford upper-class oceanfront accommodations, and settled on what we hoped would be a suitable sequel.
Thus in this year of our Lord did we declare: the Goldens are going to Virginia Beach!
…and then we came home and I finally got medical attention.
But first: the final day of our trip. Also, a value-added bonus — a selection of photos we skipped in previous entries for various reasons.
A teenager taking a reluctant wildcat on a walk. What’s the worst that could happen?
When my son was younger and first began tagging along on our road trips in 2003, we tried to include either one zoo or one amusement park on each itinerary as a concession for his sake. We’d already fulfilled the 2008 quota with an entire day spent at Busch Gardens Europe. On our way home we ran across another zoo we hadn’t considered, that hadn’t shown up in our review of mainstream Virginia brochures. We were in the area, the timing was convenient, and the sign out front promised tourists could have their pictures taken with live tiger cubs, presumably small and furry and adorable. That part sounded fun.
I mean, sure, we wound up having one of the most frightening moments in our entire 18-year road trip history. But hey: happy fun animals! Well, some of them. Sorta. The ones that weren’t bitter, at least.
An unlikely trio poses for the cover of their big debut album.
Strange visitor from another world, technically.
Near the end of a long day’s travels, it’s a confusing sort of relief to find yourself greeted by this sort of strange yet soothing sight.
This fellow refused to move, as if he was too busy waiting in vain for a callback from Pixar casting.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Every year since 1999 my wife Anne and I have taken a trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. For 2017 our ultimate destination of choice was the city of Baltimore, Maryland. You might remember it from such TV shows as Homicide: Life on the Street and The Wire, not exactly the most enticing showcases to lure in prospective tourists. Though folks who know me best know I’m one of those guys who won’t shut up about The Wire, a Baltimore walkabout was Anne’s idea. Setting aside my fandom, as a major history buff she was first to remind skeptics who made worried faces at us for this plan that Maryland was one of the original thirteen American colonies and, urban decay notwithstanding, remains packed with notable history and architecture from ye olde Founding Father times. In the course of our research we were surprised to discover Baltimore also has an entire designated tourist-trap section covered with things to do. And if we just so happened to run across former filming locations without getting shot, happy bonus…
What’s not to love about an aquarium? It’s a wonderland teeming with life in myriad forms and mesmerizing colors, many of which you’ve never seen before. Mood lighting and soothing blue waters surround you, and help to offset the noisy kids running around all over the place and shouting, “LOOK AT THAT ONE! NO, LOOK AT THAT ONE! COOOOOOL!” If you enter without children as we did, then you’re not beholden to their curious questioning, their short attention spans, or their zigzag walking styles as they bounce from one captivating tank to the next. You can lollygag around at your own pace and decide for yourself which fish you’d rather skip, which fish you’d like to stare at for a few minutes while contemplating the intricacies of Creation, and which lifeforms you’d like to spend ten minutes trying to get a single decent picture of for posterity.
Unfortunately for our more modest cameras, colorful settings don’t compensate for dim lights. Many of our pics at the National Aquarium came out blurry. This gallery, then, represents the best of what we tried to do. When you’ve had no formal training or thousand-dollar devices, sometimes patience and hope are the best tools you have. We only had a couple of hours till closing time, but it proved just enough time to see the main exhibits and enjoy the air conditioning.
Scene from a darker Oz timeline in which the Wicked Witch’s hourglass ran out…but Dorothy didn’t let that get in the way of vengeance.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife Anne and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
We’ve been to the Indianapolis Zoo several times over the years. A couple of times, we’ve paid visits to check out their holiday programming.
This one’s for the orangutans. Just the orangutans.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
We conclude these galleries with a look at the scenes behind the animals — the spacious, sometimes lavish enclosures provided for the various residents at our zoo. When I was a kid, the old zoo on the east side was all about stacks of metal cages, concrete floors, and tightly crowded wildlife as depressing sideshow. My family has seen a number of zoos around the country over the past dozen years and appreciate those that defy the obsolete paradigm. If they can tuck in a few works of art around the edges for value-added visual flair, so much the better.
To their credit, giraffes sound absolutely nothing like David Schwimmer in person.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
In today’s chapter: one last miscellaneous mammalian menagerie — all the remaining animals that caught our eyes and got caught on camera just right.
Turtle. Tortoise. Terrapin. Shell guy. Whatever.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
In today’s chapter: a smattering of reptiles from the Zoo’s climate-controlled Deserts enclosure. Plus one amphibian for, like, diversity or whatever.
“I’m sorry, we will not be taking any questions at this press conference, but thank you for showing up and lavishing attention on me anyway.”
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
In today’s chapter: a selection of our zoo’s waterborne creatures — mostly mammals, but with a few fish flung into the fray for fun.
The A-list diva emerges from the crowd and allows you to bask in her presence.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
In today’s chapter: another batch of birds, this time focused in two interactive enclosures where visitors could get up close to the wildlife, feed them on a limited basis, and pray they don’t choose that day to rebel.
Just another humdrum work day for the new orangutan clerk at the Zootopia DMV.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
In today’s chapter: monkeys! Often the highlight of a zoo visit as they’re frolicking and gallivanting and perpetrating mischief on each other…um, we picked a bad Saturday for them, apparently. Mostly we found simians in a state of quiet solemnity, relaxing where they were and pondering their life choices. As with us humans, not every day is a party for one of nature’s most party-hearty animals.
“Hey, human! If you run into John Waters sometime, ask him why he won’t take our calls, will ya?”
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
In today’s chapter: feathers! Wings! Beaks! Colors! And one special visitor for the holiday, trying his best not to be seen.
“Sure hope you’re not waiting for me to get my butt stuck inside that stump like that idiot Winnie-the-Pooh.”
Longtime MCC readers have perused galleries of the various zoos we’ve visited throughout the course of our annual road trips, from San Antonio to Minnesota to Atlanta to Queens to my favorite so far at the base of Cheyenne Mountain (the prologue, the main event, and the best part). When our long-term MCC remastering project is completed over the next year or so, readers will also eventually be treated to pics of our experiences in Omaha, Philadelphia, and The Worst Zoo We’ve Ever Visited, which shall remain nameless for now. And those were just the menageries we’ve seen with the word “zoo” in their titles.
But we don’t have to leave town to see animals. I mean, besides the occasional deer and rabbits we see in our suburb, or the coyote that I’ve heard are skulking around other neighborhoods. We’re fortunate to live in a city with its own answer to all those options — the Indianapolis Zoo, which has come a long way over the last thirty years from its early days of depressed wildlife hunched over in tiny, stacked chain-link cages. Today their living spaces are vaster, the environments are natural and pretty in their own right, the animals are varied, and the concession stands have made progress in lunchtime edibility and flavors. It’s a fun place to be, but we’ve been to our zoo so many times that it never occurred to me till a couple weeks ago that in five years of Midlife Crisis Crossover, we’ve never posted a single photo of it here. That changes now.
In June my wife and I took my mom for a walk around the premises of our own Indianapolis Zoo to check out the current residents and the architectural upgrades on a sunny but not-so-sweltering Saturday. In this very special miniseries, we’ll take a look at the beasts and critters who welcomed us and hundreds of other families along the way.
Once more, just the noses: the Space Shuttle Explorer and a shuttle booster in the Kennedy Space Center‘s Rocket Garden.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, marvels, history, and institutions we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. For 2007 we changed up our strategy a bit and designed an itinerary for what would prove our most kid-friendly outing ever. Granted, my son was now twelve years old and less kid-like than he used to be, but the idea was sound in principle.
Thus in this year of our Lord did we declare: the Goldens are going to Florida!
…and then we came home. The End.
Wait, no, I did that wrong. Last call for Florida photos!
Woe betide any jester who thinks it’d be awesome to toss an alarm clock into the middle of naptime.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, marvels, history, and institutions we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. For 2007 we changed up our strategy a bit and designed an itinerary for what would prove our most kid-friendly outing ever. Granted, my son was now twelve years old and less kid-like than he used to be, but the idea was sound in principle.
Thus in this year of our Lord did we declare: the Goldens are going to Florida!
Every time we brought my son on vacation in the early days, we tried to tailor at least one stop more for him than for the adults. Zoo Atlanta fit the bill nicely, but it wasn’t our only stop for wildlife on this trip. There’s something to be said for a site that offers a particular specialization, especially when there’s a chance of genuine, teeth-baring animal action.
A zoo where elephants enjoy their own version of Walden Pond? Sure, why not.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, marvels, history, and institutions we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. For 2007 we changed up our strategy a bit and designed an itinerary for what would prove our most kid-friendly outing ever. Granted, my son was now twelve years old and less kid-like than he used to be, but the idea was sound in principle.
Thus in this year of our Lord did we declare: the Goldens are going to Florida!
Longtime readers have seen the title before. If you don’t know the drill, it’s not hard to figure out. We had time for just one stop on Day Two in Atlanta, which gave us a nice option for crossing “zoo” off the to-do list. It was certainly one of the most sylvan zoos we’ve ever visited, and we had the privilege of seeing one set of very special guest animals that were only in town from overseas for a limited time. It was incentive enough.
The oddest thing about this moose photo op is that I have no memory of the shirt IM’ wearing in it. Once I started regaining lost weight in the years ahead, it was probably first into the Goodwill bag.
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Welcome to the first installment of another special MCC miniseries, representing the original travelogue from our 2005 drive from Indianapolis to San Antonio, Texas, and back again in far too short a time…
As you get older it’s always interesting to look back through your old photos, recall past occasions spurred by visual stimuli from the photos you saved, and kick yourself for the pics you either lost over time or never took in the first place. Searching our personal archives in preparation for this remastered miniseries got a bit annoying when I realized we had five times as many dead-animal pics as we did live-animal pics. The disparity between this entry and our San Antonio Zoo visit was no intentional slight on our part against the Lone Star State or its perception of animals.
Or maybe at age 33 I just thought stuffed animals were more fascinating than live ones like what we have back home at the Indianapolis Zoo. Honestly, we’ve been to our own zoo so many times, we probably have enough shots to make our own flipbook of the animals aging in real time. But creatively posed ex-critters? That’s, like, different. I guess?
Midlife Crisis Crossover! 