2016 NYC Trip Photos #5: Central Park Walkathon

Conservatory Water!

Conservatory Water may have the most boring name of any body of water on Earth, but it’s a pretty place for toy boat regattas.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

On our 2011 vacation we saw maybe 5% of the total square footage of Central Park, if that. We saw a feature or two, but were so drained by the time we got there that the oppressive summer heat burned away the last of our energy reserves along with any drive for exploration. After we finished with St. Paul’s Chapel, we decided another, longer tour through Central Park was in order. It wasn’t our first choice, but it was an inevitable choice.

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2016 NYC Trip Photos #4: Refuge with St. Paul

St. Paul's Chapel!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

Our overarching travel theme for Day Two in Manhattan: visiting sites we missed on our first trip back in 2011. Seeing the World Trade Center plaza with fewer cranes and construction cordons was every bit as impressive and daunting as we expected. Across Church Street on the WTC plaza’s east side stands the Churchyard of St. Paul’s Chapel, which was closed for construction on our last visit. We regretted missing out on such a vital location in the 9/11 story the first time around, though its most interesting object to us predated that day by 212 years or so.

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2016 NYC Trip Photos #3: One World, Many Views

One World Observatory!

When we began brainstorming the to-do list for our encore visit to New York City, we wanted to see new places and object we missed the first time around. The list included a handful of places we’d seen before but wanted to revisit — either to relive the same impressions or to catch up with recent changes.

Five years ago, when last we visited the World Trade Center plaza, this skyscraper was an extra-large stump. Today it’s the all-new all-different One World Trade Center, the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. Americans may know it better by its original nickname, the Freedom Tower. On the morning of Day Two, we called it our obvious first stop.

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2016 NYC Trip Photos #2: The Kitchen and the Kitchen

Cesar Chavez Quote!

…and the people who charge you for their food would rather things stay “just business” between you. Nothing personal, of course . It’s not you, it’s them.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…

Our hotel of choice for the week was on West 44th Street, squished between larger buildings, on the east edge of the notorious Hell’s Kitchen. On Netflix’s Marvel’s Daredevil it’s a crime-infested urban blight magnet that muggers, robbers, and gangsters of various ethnicities wage war on each other for control because everyone among them knows Hell’s Kitchen is the place to be when you’re on the negative end of the Dungeons & Dragons alignment scale. You never see gangs taking over the shiny, upscale neighborhoods that would be a better fit for their expensive cars and even more expensive suits. The Triads and the Black Stereotypes and the Irishmen of Irishness never claim the Upper West Side as their turf or hold their knife fights in front of those fancy Madison Avenue stores.

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2016 NYC Trip Photos #1: Welcome to New York (reprise)

LaGuardia!

My mom is a big fan of Airport and other ’70s disaster films. She might change her mind if she ever flew.

Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. My son tagged along from 2003 until 2013 when he ventured off to college, leaving us empty nesters to do our own thing the past two years.

After spending his last two summers alone at his college apartment, my son had been dropping hints that he really wanted to tag along with us this year for a change of scenery and diet, no matter where we went. With his senior year imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here.

In honor of his all-time favorite vacation to date, one that was definitely in my Top Five, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City. We guys had been dying for an encore, and while Anne has her own Top Five list in mind, she was game for whatever. Her gracious acquiescence was especially appreciated when I suggested a major modification.

In November 2015 we took a second trip to Colorado Springs and flew for our first time. Like, up in the sky inside actual airplanes, which neither of us had ever done before in our entire lives because neither of us grew up in families with that kind of budget. The temporary hearing damage wasn’t endearing to me, but we enjoyed so many aspects of our first flight that I thought my son could benefit from trying flying as well. It helps that today’s airfare frequently costs thousands less than I’d imagined. All told, round-trip tickets for the three of us wasn’t prohibitively more expensive than our usual mode of a week-long auto rental plus multiple gas fill-ups.

This decision meant no official, week-long road trip for us in 2016 (and, sadly, missing out on a lot of quirky roadside stops between here and there), but once you get past our use of a different traveler delivery system, our NYC 2016 tour looks and feels much like any of our other trips. Super-sized historic memorials. Famous burial sites. A couple of shows. Singers, dancers, and cosplayers. Art, pop, and geek culture. Museums, zoos, parks, and statues. Comics, animation, filmmaking, video games, and spaceships. And most importantly, restaurants that aren’t McDonald’s or Subway.

We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

Right this way for Day One!

Our 2011 Road Trip #29: The Season Finale — NYC Outtakes

Empire State Building!

One of several Empire State Building shots taken from the Top of the Rock. Collect ’em all!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: we guided you through our first trip to New York in twenty-eight episodes — July 9-17, 2011. The original version of this travelogue was posted for friends on another website but was remastered for archival posterity here at my permanent internet hideaway on MCC. Dozens of never-before-seen photos were added. Several chapters were expanded, rewritten, or torn apart and glued back together in different order. And I fixed a sad number of typos I never caught the first time around.

Here, in our grand finale: a selection of outtakes from various chapters, most of these also new to readers far and wide. A few were technically deficient but held just enough quirk not to be junked. A few were redundant. A few that captured isolated moments were disconnected from the rest of the narrative. A few came out as pure settings in need of a foreground subject. One memento required me to scan a page from my wife’s NYC 2011 scrapbook with her gracious permission and the promise that I wouldn’t damage her own diligent handicraft. Enjoy!

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Our 2011 Road Trip #26: Hamilton’s Final Show

Hamilton Death Rock!

I haven’t seen a rock with this many compliments engraved in it since that time the Bedrock Bugle gave five stars to a new bronto-rib joint.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

We were finished with New York City for the year, but our road trip wasn’t over yet. Our Indiana home was a few states away, and nicer parts of New Jersey had highlights to share with us before we left.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #25: Our Last Times Square Parade

New Year's Eve ball!

This New Year’s Eve ball may be retired, but it’s still got enough magic in it to perform random countdowns to nothing in particular. Kids love countdowns.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

Sooner or later, everyone who can’t afford to live in New York has to leave New York. With a handful of hours left on Day Six, it was our turn to start spreading the news and leave here today. We voted unanimously for one last walk through Times Square — one last chance to immerse ourselves in that vibrant hodgepodge teeming with life and lights and wonder and costumes and tourists needing directions and open-air claustrophobia, often not in that order.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #24: Washington vs. Columbus

Washington Square Arch!

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

After lunch at Peanut Butter & Co., we walked another block-‘n’-a-half northeast through Greenwich Village to Washington Square Park, one of those diverse, bustling, happy public places that all the best city parks aspire to be so they can attract the attention of Hollywood location scouts.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #23: Peanut Butter and Dragon Fruit

Dragon fruit lady!

This outgoing saleslady spoke just enough English to SELL! SELL! SELL!

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

When we had been brainstorming alternatives and last-minute requests the night before, a return to Chinatown was at the top of my son’s list. Those four hours of walking ourselves to death on Tuesday had yielded very little in the way of strange new foods for him to try. We can’t get him to touch pasta at home unless he can make eye contact with a Chef Boy-Ar-Dee logo, but he bore no such prejudice against the untested grounds of Chinatown merchants.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #22: Winnie the Pooh and Ghostbusters Too

New York Public Library!

Hi, we’re the lions at the New York Public Library! You might remember us from such films as The Wiz and Roland Emmerich’s The Day After Tomorrow! We have a terrible agent.

Considering how many films have been made in New York, it wouldn’t be hard to create a vacation itinerary made entirely of sights Hollywood has already shown us. Retracing the steps of those filmmakers can be fun, but it’s especially rewarding when they lead you to unexpected treasure.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #21: Grand Central to Fifth Avenue and Back Again

Trump Clock!

It’s 7 p.m. Do you know where your billionaires are?

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

The back half of our Day Six was like a Family Circus cartoon where a dotted line struggles to keep up with li’l Jeffy while he cavorts and frolics and gambols and flits about from one distraction to the next until he ends his five-mile run roughly three feet from where he started. From Midtown to the East River to Fifth Avenue and back to Weehawken — we were all over the Manhattan map, alternating between those blessedly convenient subways and some overenthusiastic walking whenever the railways fell short of our goals.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #20: Welcome to Our World of Toys

Anne + Lego Harrison Ford!

As a lifelong fan of Harrison Ford, Anne accepts that Lego Indiana Jones is the closest she’ll ever come to meeting the real deal. But she can dream.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

When you bring a kid or two with you on vacation, assuming you don’t secretly hate them, and assuming you’re not one of those negligent parents who needs to learn a special life lesson about how not to be a selfish jerk, then it follows that your itinerary should have some stops that the kid will enjoy more than you do. And if you should happen to find something interesting about those stops for yourself, then hey, everyone wins.

Thus our family set forth on the trail of the last remaining FAO Schwarz in America. If nothing else, it would make a nice bookend with our visit to the Times Square Toys R Us.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #19: The Long Road to the United Nations

Chrysler Building!

Hi, I’m the Chrysler Building! You might remember me from such films as Armageddon and Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla! I have a terrible agent.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

On this trip we limited ourselves to two modes of transportation: walking and subway. Cabs and buses are popular options with some folks, but cabs are expensive and buses…frankly, I have no idea why we avoided buses. Soon we would learn that New York City’s subway system is extensive, but it doesn’t make every attraction an easy convenience, especially not in 90-degree temperatures.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #18: A Day at the Met

Chinese Tapestry!

After spending some time resting and admiring this Chinese mural, a trio of young European girls asked me to take their photo for them. One tourist to another, it was the least I could do.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

After the Sony Wonder Tech Lab, we returned to the subway, rode to 86th Street, and walked due west to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Seeing this entire ZIP-code-sized labyrinth of a museum would take months and require camping gear. In gracious deference to the member of our party with the shortest attention span, we kept a narrow focus on the Asian sections. On our next NYC trip someday before I die, it’ll be my turn to see what I want.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #17: The Empire State Building on $0.00 a Day

Empire State Building!

That precious sight everyone treasures whenever they find it in Manhattan: a real live tree.

Because every tourist is required to check in at King Kong’s favorite scratching post, pretend old-fashioned romance awaits us on the observation deck, and then run like crazy before Roland Emmerich finds six more ways to destroy it while we’re in striking distance.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

Right this way for mandatory Empire State Building pics!

Our 2011 Road Trip #16: Bright On Broadway

Lion King Mask!

“MUFASA WELCOMES YOU AND REMINDS YOU TO TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.”

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

After plumbing the depths of Grant’s Tomb we had an afternoon appointment for our very first Broadway show: The Lion King. But first we had to get there. The trip down from 122nd Street to 45th Street wasn’t a short one.

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Our 2011 Road Trip #15: Grant’s Tomb Raider

Grant's Tomb!

Literally the closest we’ve ever been to Harlem, which was a few blocks northeast of here.

There’s that wife of mine, once again on her quest to catch ALL the dead Presidents. It would require our longest subway ride of the week, but a special treat was waiting for us at the end of the line.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

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Our 2011 Road Trip #14: Chinatown!

Lin Ze Xu!

Lin Ze Xu welcomes you to the south end of Chinatown, but not your opium. His 19th-century version of the War on Drugs happened long before Nancy Reagan taught us all to just say no.

[The very special miniseries continues! See Part One for the official intro and context.]

Chinatown was like nothing we’d ever stepped into before — block after block of overpacked mom-‘n’-pop shops, restaurants with all-paper signage, dingy dives with no English names out front, and respectable businesses stacked atop businesses with even more businesses crammed under and between them, their streets teeming with life and bootleg lady-shopper bait (useless against my wife, who’s not into fashion shopping) and the worst smells we hope we’ll ever know, whether from the deadliest spices known to man or from all the endless displays of fresh-slaughtered seafood, some of it still writhing. My son wanted to see every single block of it, even the blocks ruled by Vietnamese or Thai shopkeepers instead of Chinese.

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Ads of Darkness, Ads of Light

Suicide Squad!

Some movie posters want to sell you happy fun times using all the colors of the rainbow. In terrible times like these, not everyone wants to embrace the dark side. Sometimes even our creepiest antiheroes are redrawn to radiate with kaleidoscopic pop-art joy in hopes of convincing tourists and natives alike that our next trips to the theater will leave us smiling and cheering while murderers and other malcontents save the day. Apparently that’s why the Suicide Squad now stands tall above Times Square looking as far removed from murky Zack Snyder dystopia as possible.

Meanwhile in other universes, other antiheroes couldn’t care less whether you smile or shudder.

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