Yes, There’s a Scene During the “Tron: Ares” End Credits

Jared Leto in black and red CGI armor. The glass faceplate retracted partially to reveal his face. Everything around him is red lines.

In a better film we’d see Morbius evolve into Morpheus and leave the Grid for the Matrix.

When I was 10, the original Tron was one of the last films I saw at the Westlake Drive-In before it closed a month later. I remember being bored, my typical response to a lot of Disney live-action, and got more fun out of the 4-in-1 arcade game even though some malls charged double to play it (i.e., fifty whole cents, a ripoff at the time). My son was a teenager when we saw Tron: Legacy and quickly forgot most of it, though the action sequences were impressive enough that I noted fledgling director Joseph Kosinski’s name before he went on to bigger, better works. In between those wobbly goalposts, Nine Inch Nails’ 1989 debut Pretty Hate Machine was in heavy rotation in my various high school cassette players, so a young Trent Reznor’s industrial synth-metal assaults hold a certain place in my pop-culture heart even though I haven’t kept up with his later, lesser albums. (Fun trivia: Reznor and I share a birthday!)

Nostalgia isn’t an automatic drug of choice for me, but sometimes I’ll play along with its corporate pushers just to see what they think might get me high by injecting my own liquefied childhood into my eyeballs. Fifteen years later Disney has turned Tron‘s CPU off and back on again to install its latest IP expansion pack Tron: Ares, whose marketing tries awfully hard to target Gen-X as if anyone my age yearned for this to be a trilogy to save on our DVD shelves until we die and our beneficiaries give all our boxed sets to Goodwill. The thin dimensional boundaries between video games and the real world have been breached quite a bit since 1982 (Wreck-It Ralph! Pixels! Ready Player One!), to say nothing of invasions from their kid cousin Virtual Reality (from The Lawnmower Man on up), so really, what’s Tron have to offer besides grasping for an extended warranty on its own obsolescence?

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Yes, There’s a Scene During the “Moana 2” End Credits

Moana holding an oar, Maui holding his giant hook, both standing on a boat and looking upward.

They’re back! And they brought their favorite tools!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: in Walt Disney Pictures’ century-long quest to devote at least one major animated feature to every human community or geographic region ever, they turned their attention to the Pacific Islands for Moana, a rousing high-seas mythical adventure that featured the lyrical stylings of Lin-Manuel Miranda during his post-Broadway movie-musical phase and a strong duo at its core — Auli’i Cravalho as the titular heroine whose connection to her environment brought an end to her home island’s cursed isolation; and Dwayne Johnson (on break from like twelve other acting jobs) as the vain demigod Maui who helped save the day with his magic tattoos, animal shapeshifting, and enchanted Saw-hook.

Moana and Maui are back with Moana 2, which was conceived as a Disney+ series before execs remembered movies can make way more money than TV, especially if the movie doesn’t suck. The reworking of that proposed material may explain why we have three credited directors and only two writers (the latter of which include Jared Bush, who was one of eight on the first one), but it works well enough for anyone who simply wants more Moana and Maui and isn’t finicky about the rest. The tremendously upgraded budget helps, one befitting a Disney theatrical release rather than simply stapling together whatever rough animatics were already in the can. It isn’t perfect and the first one’s better, but it’s better than the dregs of, say, The Fox and the Hound 2.

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Disney World! Part 31: The Season Finale and the Magic Outtakes

Cinderella Castle shot closely enough to cut off its spires but far enough away that the dozen or so cast members dancing onstage are tiny. A giant Disney World 50th-anniversary seal is still mounted on the castle.

Alternate shot of the 4:00 Thursday performance of Mickey’s Magical Friendship Faire at Cinderella Castle.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…though we treasured the free times allotted to her in between. Nevertheless, the trip reached its conclusion. Before we leave Orlando behind, let’s take a look back at a selection of outtakes that didn’t make the cut in our previous thirty chapters for various reasons. I’ve arguably posted too many pics as it is, in this epic-length vacation slideshow carousel that didn’t quite hold its audience captive. The average internet user has likely been to Disney theme parks multiple times in their lives and may chuckle at the expense of us starstruck bumpkins who’ve gone on and on about this. Congrats on your affluent first-world upbringing that we didn’t quite have. To us the Disney World trip was like a one-in-a-billion lottery win minus the devastating tax burden. And I’d wager our ending credit card balances were smaller than yours.

Anyway: last call for Disney World photos! And an epilogue.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 8: The Year in Art

Medusa! Possibly digital painting.

Medusa!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

Our State Fair may have ended last Sunday, but I’m not finished with it yet! Admittedly, attending the fair and Fan Expo Chicago a week apart was perhaps a bit much. Nevertheless, we’re going into (hopefully) a much more relaxing weekend that’ll give me the free time and mental space to tie up some loose ends…starting with two more State Fair photo galleries.

Anne and I are at that age when we’re more interested in visiting the exhibit halls than we are in rattling our bones on the Midway rides. We enjoy seeing what new works of paint, photography, building blocks, and science have been offered up for the various competitions. The State Fair holds its massive celebrations on behalf of our farmers, but Indiana has no shortage of artists, either. Whether adults or kids, the illustrators come from all demographics, work in multiple media, and bring ideas from pop culture as well as from their own influence and home life. They each contribute in their own ways to the Hoosier State hometown legacy.

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Disney World! Part 30: The Last Sunrise and the Character Breakfast

A Princess Tiana cast member in a yellow ballroom dress and tiara poses regally while Anne and I do jazz hands on either side of her.

A royal meet-‘n’-greet with Princess Tiana!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…but the rest of the time was ours for frolicking around Disney World and our Disney Resort. Sadly, the magic eventually had to end. We had one more bit of mixed business and pleasure on the itinerary before takeoff.

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Disney World! Part 29: Magic Meals and Mouse Food

Two Dole Whip floats sitting on a shaded wooden shelf, refer to caption.

Disney World superfans love Dole Whips! At left, the basic pineapple soft-serve float. At right, the Tropical Serenade — pineapple-orange-guava juice, coconut ice cream, and a pineapple upside-down cake pop.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and the handlers kept the winners well fed during the employees-only Tuesday night meet-and-greet beach party, Wednesday morning’s mandatory hours-long business-related seminars, and the Wednesday night company dinner party-trap. As you can imagine, we were much more excited to sample concessions and cuisine from the actual Disney World parks on our own recognizance.

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Disney World! Part 28: Magic Kingdom After Dark

Disney's Cinderella Castle lit up all over at night, lots of blue and mostly purple.

Color me floored by Cinderella Castle’s surprising nighttime resemblance to the current Walt Disney Pictures title card.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and time was running out in her one free day. We had less 90 minutes to spend before we had to leave the Magic Kingdom for an appointment. We tried to make them count.

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Disney World! Part 27: The Magic Kingdom Beyond the Castle

Bronze Lincoln bust on a pedestal in front of a black-and-white painting of Walt Disney.

We found their miniature American history museum! And you can’t have one of those without a bust of Lincoln.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t have to, so we could do actual tourism together in this supernaturally fun place where our families could never afford to visit in childhood, unlike all the other, more well-off whitebread kids who outnumbered us tens-of-millions-to-2. Thus we spent our afternoon in the Magic Kingdom wandering more than riding, gawking more than waiting in lines, and feeling dumbstruck at sights that surely would’ve blown our minds if we’d come here as kids. It was impossible to hold onto our Gen-X jadedness here.

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Disney World! Part 26: It’s a Small, Small, Small, Small World

Three cutesy singing animatronic figurines with tribal face paints, two mushroom-shaped and one shaped like a thumb. Everything's blue and purple.

Welcome to animatronic Africa with mood lighting!

I ask you, what better time than right now for a shiny happy feel-good gallery of an alternate Earth in which everyone sets aside their differences, concedes they were all cranked out by the same animatronic manufacturer, celebrates mutual captivity on the same indoor canal, welcomes outsiders without fear of mass shootings or assassinations, and drowns out any concerns by singing the same catchy jingle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

…sorry, what were we talking about?

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Disney World! Part 25: Adventure Friends Cavalcade

Disney World parade cast members: Mary Poppins and Stitch, dancing. Mary's eyes are closed. Bert the chimney sweep is nearly offscreen, aghast at something.

If Mary Poppins thinks those Banks whelps were a handful, wait’ll she gets a load of Stitch.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t. We didn’t leave ourselves a lot of time to explore the Magic Kingdom park — i.e., the one with the world-famous castle in it — but we encountered plenty of surprises in the short time allotted.

Case in point: the Disney Adventure Friends Cavalcade! There we were, wandering toward the northern border of Frontierland when we ran into a newly formed roadblock, which made way for a slew of Disney characters to emerge from a gate on our left. An even mix of popular favorites and deep-dive obscurities merrily danced, pranced, strolled, fed upon adulation, and maybe taught us a lesson that sometimes there are good reasons to stop traffic.

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