The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 8: The Lincoln Museum Minus Lincoln

Statues: Mary Todd Lincoln trying on a dress while Elizabeth Keckley pins it in the back.

Mary Todd Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckley, her personal dressmaker and confidante.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…especially at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum, but they offered much more than excerpts from our old school textbooks. Most museums nowadays beat out my old textbooks, that’s for sure. Throughout our travels over the past 25 years we’ve found the subjects out there more varied, the exhibits filled with new names I never heard until I learned them through the magic of historical tourist attractions.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 7: His Presidential Library & Museum

Statues of the Lincoln family (Abraham, Mary and their three sons) in front of an indoor replica of the White House facade. Anne stands between two of the boys, doing jazz hands.

If you liked Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy or Archie Meets the Punisher, you’ll love “Anne meets the Lincoln family”! This fall on C-SPAN 3!

How do you do, fellow olds! Here on Election Day Eve 2024, do you feel the despairing urge to retreat from the present-day reality’s endless shenanigans into not-too-distant days of yore, when Presidential candidates with far more character endured and even persevered through much worse times in American history? Have we got the escape hatch for you!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…which are even cooler when they’re paired with statues in action! We got all that and more when we departed the Illinois State Museum for our next stop, the much larger Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum. This huge edifice was opened in 2005 and contains the Lincoln Presidential Library and other research collections, in addition to a series of statues reenacting various moments in the sixteenth President’s life. The statues were sadly not animatronic, but that didn’t seem to bother the few dozen field-tripping students we had to wade through on our way in. A selection of relics were found here and there around the life-sized exhibits.

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So Many Signs: Indianapolis Redecorates for the 2024 Coming of Taylor Swift

Giant Taylor Swift mural on the front of a Marriott whose face is all blue glass. She has a pink guitar.

Attack of the 300-Foot Taylor Swift!

TAYLOR SWIFT IS COMING! TAYLOR SWIFT IS COMING! TAYLOR SWIFT IS COMING!

Here in Indianapolis, our local media are positively ecstatic to have anything to talk about besides politics, homicides, and the city’s increasingly toxic levels of road construction. For those just joining us: Ms. Swift’s Eras Tour will be stopping in Indy this weekend to play three nights at Lucas Oil Stadium. While she and her entourage take over the place, our Indianapolis Colts will be staying with buddies in Minnesota until someone calls and gives them the okay to come back, which will depend on how they do Sunday against the Vikings.

Tickets to her sold-out Hoosier trilogy are still available through the usual auction sites and scalpers for four-digit sums, so don’t expect live coverage from me. Downtown hotel rooms are sold out across the board, though some are available around the edges of town and in the suburbs. Tourists are welcome to fill those up as well, but please be aware, when planning how to get from your hotel to the stadium, the first several hundred Google results for “mass transit Indianapolis” are a long list of pipe dreams sprinkled with a few nice tries.

In preparation for the influx of hundreds of thousands of folks into our modest city, they’ve gussied up our downtown! In addition to the amazing colossal Swift temporarily pictured on the giant blast-shield Marriott on West Street, thirty-two new street signs have been posted at various intersections, pretending to rename them after her songs and albums. I work downtown four days a week and own four of her CDs, so I felt I ought to do something resembling participation. Monday afternoon I sent myself on a side quest at lunchtime to take a long walk and see how many of those signs I could spot before my feet were ground into mulch. Please enjoy this gallery of results, a fraction of the total signage out there for the gawking all this week!

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 6: Misc. Museum

A human skeleton and a horse skeleton posed together in a museum.

A man and his horse: the skeletons! Purchased in 1919 for non-Halloween purposes.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…though sometimes placard-based education can be interesting. The Illinois State Museum is smaller than our Indiana State Museum, but lured us to their doorstep with a temporary exhibit of Stuff Generation X Kids Had (including us!). We made the most of our admission fees and browsed other rooms while we were there.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 5: Generation X Belongs in a Museum

Panasonic tape recorder from the '80s.

The first music-playing device I ever owned was a tape recorder like this one, but a cheaper brand.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…and took occasional breaks from Lincolnmania. Our random walking tour of the Illinois State Capitol Complex led us to the Illinois State Museum, on the opposite end of the grounds from the State Capitol. As of the date of our visit, their centerpiece special exhibit was called “Growing Up X” — basically a nostalgia prompt-fest of Stuff Generation X Kids Had. We resented the implication that we now belong in a museum and our hobbies (past and present) are anthropological specimens to be wall-mounted for scrutiny by younger generations who don’t get us, in hopes maybe one day they will get us through museum education. We wouldn’t have to take this drastic step if they’d paid attention to our Throwback Thursday posts on the socials.

As members of the scrutinized class, we were curious to see which artifacts were deemed worthy and representative of the lived experience of us kids who dearly wish Baby Boomers had raised us better. I wasn’t surprised to see a few playthings I still have around the house or boxed up in the garage. Some erudite wall space was dedicated to contextualizing our childhoods and the escapist lifelines that let us suspend reality a few minutes at a time. Their vitrines were packed with collectibles that could’ve been culled from a single, shrewd Amazon Marketplace vendor. Nevertheless, some objects evoked deeper responses than others.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 4: Around the Capitol Complex

Colorful 5-foot-tall top hat in a visitors' center. Images on the hat include young Abe Lincoln riding in a red car on a highway, a "Welcome to Springfield" sign, the official Lincoln's Home museum, and a wraparound cursive logo starting with the words "Road Trippin'".

A giant top hat welcomes road-trippers to the Illinois State Capitol Complex Visitors Center. We do love being seen.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

After our scenic tour inside the Illinois State Capitol, we returned to the car, drove over to the Capitol Complex behind the building, and drove a few laps around their visitor parking lots until a space finally opened up closer to our next attraction. Some spaces were cordoned off for a construction project; others were taken up by a few buses whose passengers we never encountered. The complex was apparently a popular place on Friday mornings.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 3: The Illinois State Capitol

Looking up inside a capitol dome. Brown and tan stained glass middle ring, green center circle, circular silvery frieze in the outer circle. Around the perimeter are archways to various halls.

In 9 out of 10 capitol buildings, looking up into the dome is the coolest part.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

Case in point: after Lincoln’s tomb we wandered into downtown Springfield for some local flavor and sightseeing, only some of which was Lincoln-cenetered. Naturally we had to add the Illinois State Capitol to our state capitol collection, since we were already adding Springfield itself to our state capital collection anyway. We just really like collecting stuff.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 2: More Wars, More Memorials

Large all-white globe on an outdoor pedestal. The Pacific Ocean side has metal discs marking locations where Illinoisans died in combat.

The World War II Illinois Veterans Memorial marks casualty locations across the Pacific theater.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

The Lincoln Tomb is the most widely known part of Oak Ridge Cemetery, but curious visitors can find other departed souls and tributes to hometown soldiers who sacrificed their lives for their country, not just the Civil War. Whereas many cities and towns we’ve visited tend to plant their war memorials in or around their capitol buildings, town squares, Main Streets, or downtown areas, Springfield’s collection is near Oak Ridge’s west exit, at a remove from all the other Lincoln sightseeing options. Once again we had to navigate around field-trippers to take pics, as well as a small biker clan that had come to pay respects to the fallen they knew.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 1: The Tomb of Honest Abe

Indoor brown rectangular monument shaped like a tall sarcophagus. Inscribed on the front: "Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865". State flags line the curved yellow wall behind it, plus the quote "Now he belongs to the ages."

President #16, Abraham Lincoln, d.4/15/1865, age 56.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: in addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. Sometimes there’ll be a convention or special event fortuitously scheduled for the occasion; other times, we’ll take a short road trip somewhere we haven’t been before. The time spent together is the best birthday gift, every May for me and every October for her. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

I’d rather not relive how we spent my birthday this year, but I’m more than happy to leap-frog past it to May 2023 and recount a much cheerier experience. Perhaps “cheerier” is the wrong word considering our first stop was a cemetery.

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The MCC Presidential Burial Site Visitation Checklist (so far)

Inside George Washington's tomb: two marble coffins and a wreath on a stand that was just placed moments before in a daily ceremony.

#1, George Washington! d.12/14/1799, age 67. His and Martha’s sarcophagi share a vault at Mount Vernon, in this teaser image from our 2024 road trip.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: every year since 1999 my wife Anne and I have taken a trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. We also like to travel on our respective birthday weekends — sometimes to comic conventions that just so happen to coincide with our celebrations of continued existence, sometimes to neighboring towns and states of significance to our interests. After being raised as virtual shut-ins, it’s been a joy to expand our horizons together, gradually and on a modest budget. We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

Among our many recurring motifs are final resting places of Presidents of the United States of America. Anne is a major history buff whose vacation research leans heavily to famous American people, places, events, and artifacts. In our early traveling days, a few dead Presidents just so happened to be located near sites we were seeing for other reasons, or on the same convenient roadside. As we’ve diversified our directions over time and expanded the scope of what we considered a “point of interest”, the late leaders of our nation kept ranking on our to-do lists. They’ve basically become a long-term side quest for us. We earn no trophies or high-fives from imaginary teammates; we’re just seeing how many of them we can visit before we’re too old or broken down to continue.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 9: The Rest of Our Day

State fair carnival rides with a big Midway sign and a cutesy blue elephant mascot statue welcoming guests.

We almost never ride rides at the fair, but they’re fun to glance at briefly from a distance.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

…and it all comes down to this: everything else we saw around the fairgrounds that didn’t need their own chapters. The Thursday we attended was also BMV Day, for which our Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles offered discount passes at nearly half-off admission price. Couple that with an advance parking pass that also lopped a few bucks off, and our total entrance bill was nicely reduced so we could blow more cash on food instead.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 8: The Year in Art

Medusa! Possibly digital painting.

Medusa!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

Our State Fair may have ended last Sunday, but I’m not finished with it yet! Admittedly, attending the fair and Fan Expo Chicago a week apart was perhaps a bit much. Nevertheless, we’re going into (hopefully) a much more relaxing weekend that’ll give me the free time and mental space to tie up some loose ends…starting with two more State Fair photo galleries.

Anne and I are at that age when we’re more interested in visiting the exhibit halls than we are in rattling our bones on the Midway rides. We enjoy seeing what new works of paint, photography, building blocks, and science have been offered up for the various competitions. The State Fair holds its massive celebrations on behalf of our farmers, but Indiana has no shortage of artists, either. Whether adults or kids, the illustrators come from all demographics, work in multiple media, and bring ideas from pop culture as well as from their own influence and home life. They each contribute in their own ways to the Hoosier State hometown legacy.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 7: The Year in Antiques

Mr. Spock's Music from Outer Space: the album.

Featuring such timeless classics as “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Earth”, “Beyond Antares”, and “Music to Watch Space Girls By”. Yes, really.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

One of the fair’s regular features is the antiques competition, chiefly displayed on the second floor of the Indiana Arts Building. No one’s ever posted the rules, criteria, rankings, or anything expository beyond signage implying, “Here are some antiques not for sale.” Contestants bring in ancient items they unearthed somewhere, a secret council convenes far from inquisitive eyes, prize ribbons are placed next to some of them, yadda yadda yadda, they’re at your Indiana State Fair.

Amid the quilts and ’50s baby dolls and blue-and-white dishware, a few items with historical value and/or pop culture cachet will catch our attention. We congratulate the winners of this year’s Antiques We Looked At for More Than Three Seconds Contest, sponsored by ConHugeCo, Inc.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 6: The Year in Lego

Lego Pokemon!

Lego Pokemon! Lego Pikachu, Lego Geodude, and Lego Snorlax.**

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

Lego is a frequent sight at our State Fair. 4-H kids and competitors in other art contests routinely turn in works of Lego as their favorite sculpting medium. There’s nothing emphatically Hoosier about them. To my knowledge we have no Lego factory and no Legoland theme park. Indiana was not a beachhead for Danish explorers. The Lego Indiana Jones sets have nothing to do with Indiana per se, much as we might wish to contrive otherwise. But at our state fair there’s always room for Lego.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 5: Food for Displaying, Not Devouring

Bluey made of cans, next to the letters NDY also made of cans.

Canned Bluey! Standing next to an Indianapolis “N-D-Y” photo-op setup.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

Our favorite part is the new food, but some of their most ingenious uses of food are available neither for purchase nor consumption. Exhibit A: the annual Canstruction contest! The charitable organization holds eponymous events nationwide in which engineers and other clever planners compete against each other to build the best sculpture made entirely from canned goods, preferably in recognizable shapes and not ordinary stacks with boring titles like “We Bought an Aldi”. After the judging and the public displaying are over, all those meticulously planned figures are torn down and the components are donated to local hunger relief charities, who in turn forward them to needy families. Thus these temporary installations live on only if everyone takes pictures of them.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 4: Land of the Glowing Giants

Side view of a T-Rex lying down with its mouth open and its tail sticking straight out horizontally.

Flee from the mighty T-Rex that gapes to all comers with its muscular jaws! Or relax at the table and chairs under its butt.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

As if Artscape and the chainsaw sculptures weren’t enough art: on the north end of the fairgrounds, the relatively new space known as The Backyard — which in 2023 was covered in basketball courts and dubbed Hoopfest — hosted an exhibit called Illuminate, comprising a collection of giant-sized organisms that look impressive in daylight but are actually huge lanterns activated at night. Online sources allege this is its second annual occurrence, except the previous works were Asian-themed and those same sources swear they were stationed in Expo Hall. Considering our 2023 visit to Expo Hall turned up only caged critters, I’d be curious to know the building’s exhibition timeline. It sucks to discover just now that we missed something cool.

Not this year, though. Behold: Illuminate! In daylight! I haven’t been to the State Fair at night in 23 years, and there’s no way we’d’ve had enough energy to stay awake and mobile from opening to closing time, so please enjoy some giant unlit lanterns in sunshine! With neon paint that’s, like, a kind of glowing!

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 3: Where the Art Museum Meets the Chainsaw

Blue cube suspended in midair with a light in the middle of it. Each metallic cube side is intricately patterned to project shadows on the surfaces surrounding it.

What if the Cosmic Cube were bigger so it’s harder to steal, prettier than a 6-sided die, and held a more enlightening kind of power?

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

Every MCC miniseries devoted to the fair has at least one chapter devoted to the works of art we encounter in the various exhibit halls. Art took center stage this year courtesy of Newfields (f/k/a the Indianapolis Museum of Art), who stepped into the role of “presenting sponsor” and brought new flourishes to old spaces.

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 2: Let’s Pretend We’re Influencers

Anne and I doing jazz hands on a fake Olympics pedestal. The wall behind us is an ad for WTHR's local Olympics coverage with a photo of the Eiffel Tower filling the empty space where a bronze medalist should be standing.

Thanks to Indianapolis’ NBC affiliate WTHR, we can pretend we’re Olympians! Everyone loves the Olympics, we’re told!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context…

Our photo galleries typically showcase the places we’ve been, the things we’ve seen, or the events we experienced — i.e., the memories I want to retain that are also hopefully interesting and/or useful to anyone else in the universe besides just Anne. Sometimes we forget to take pics of each other, or I simply skip posting them because I already know what we look like. That’s the exact opposite of 99% of the entire internet; hence our perennially low traffic stats, apparently. I don’t get the whole “me me me” thing that constitutes a viable career for some folks, but I’m told that’s totally a thing and that an entire Insta-feed of selfies is in fact a form of psychologically responsible behavior and they have the tax forms to prove it.

For once, let’s give in to peer pressure from internetters half our age and compile an entire gallery of us and only us. As it happens, during our fairground day-date we wound up taking more photos of each other than usual (or having strangers snap the two of us), so here’s what it looks like when we’re enjoying each other’s company without worrying what anyone else thinks of us. Please enjoy! Smash those buttons! Share with your 50,000 nearest friends! If you don’t, you’re a judgmental, ageist hypocrite who enables body-shaming and you’re on the same side as the shallow, dump-worthy exes in every rom-com ever! It’d sure be a real shame if your S.O. ever found out! Cheers!

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Indiana State Fair 2024 Photos, Part 1: Our “Taste of the Fair” Tour

Pulled pork marinated with rich barbecue sauce, served on a sugary biscuit.

All four State Fair food groups in one sandwich: meat, sugar, dough, and fruit.

It’s that time again! The Indiana State Fair is an annual celebration of Hoosier pride, farming, food, and 4-H, with amusement park rides, cooking demos, concerts by musicians either nearly or formerly popular, and farm animals competing for cash prizes without their knowledge. My wife Anne and I attend each year as a date-day to seek new forms of creativity and imagination within a local context.

Most years, we’re all about the food. Each time our favorite part is the “Taste of the Fair” competition, in which vendors showcase ostensibly new dishes in hopes of enticing foodies and/or impressing attendees who seek more to fair-life than eating the same corn dog again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) The TotF lineup is announced weeks in advance so everyone can plan their meals and experiments accordingly.

This year’s Taste of the Fair dishes and drinks number a staggering 46 in all, a 50+% jump over last year’s assortment. We tried 10 of them across our 7½-hour stayand walked off several of those cumulative calories around the fairgrounds and the exhibit halls, whose contents we’ll cover in subsequent chapters. I was tempted to rank these in a gratuitous listicle, but I’m not in the mood to pit vendors against each other and right now cannot think hard about any of this because I am so exhausted. To keep things simple, everything’s presented in our purchasing order from 9:40 a.m. to 4:45 EDT.

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Disney World! Part 15: EPCOT’s Harmonious

blue purple fountains lights silhouettes of zebra and elephant in profile

The Circle of Life…after dark!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Before we recount what happened with the company dinner at EPCOT, it’s important and calming for me to focus first on the most breathtaking part of that long Wednesday evening. At 8:30 p.m. all of us guests were ushered from the banquet facility on the park’s west edge to a centralized, gated party space on the north shore of World Showcase Lagoon. Snacks and booze were offered while we were treated to the 9:00 showing of the park’s resident closing-time light show, a 30-minute program called Harmonious. A synchronized, beauteous onslaught of fireworks, fountains, spotlights, kaleidoscopic effects, oddly shaped screens on floating platforms, songs familiar and unfamiliar, and a barely discernible narrative. It’s all you could want from the end of an amusement-park day and more.

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