Shark and Tornado. Tornado and Shark. Who’s the master and who’s the servant?
Because too many viewers patronized the first one! Thanks to America’s unreasonable groundswell of bemused support of the original Sharknado, Syfy and The Asylum felt emboldened enough to scrape together a few more quarters, call in some former celebrities for cameos, clear the browser cache in their visual-effects software, and make Sharknado 2: the Second One on purpose.
I can’t imagine why anyone would write a straightforward review of this, not even if you were a paid TV critic, unless you’re keen to address the arguments for or against the concept of meta-grade-Z flicks. I see both sides of the debate over which is morally superior, mocking unintentionally bad films versus mocking intentionally bad films, but I opted out of the debate and launched into an evening of fun, carefree live-tweeting without contemplating my justifications or pondering the ramifications of encouraging Syfy’s agenda.
Collected below for posterity or whatever are the results of that experience. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. You’ve been officially warned. About the movie and the spoilers, I mean.
Two-hour warning! Are you ready for another walk through the shark? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 30, 2014
Again I find myself in a hashtag quandary: #Sharknado2TheSecondOne vs. just #Sharknado2. I NEED those extra 13 characters. #smallerhashtags
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 30, 2014
"One hour till #Sharknado2TheSecondOne!" he said to all his Friends who proactively put him on Mute.
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
My wife will be missing #Sharknado2TheSecondOne tonight, but asked me to let her know if it's worth it. And then we both laughed.
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
I feel like sharks are played-out divas. Won't someone think of the Nados? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Looking #Sharknado2TheSecondOne on IMDB, wondering which actor plays the secret villain behind it all, the sinister Charles Sharkweather.
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Hasn't even started and I already feel unclean. Gonna have to balance out #Sharknado2TheSecondOne this weekend with some @Criterion films.
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
And thus it begins" Nightmare at 20,000 Sharks". #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"How to Survive a Sharknado", a book that'll come in handy once every zillion years. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Sharknado PTSD is the worst. And there's no FDA-approved drug for them. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Robert. Hays. Cameo. In an airplane. This is. I. I can't. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"I've flown worse." Over Macho Grande? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Fun trivia from my wife: "Bob Wilson" was Shatner's name in that TZ episode.. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
THE WHEATONS ARE ON BOARD AND THEY GONNA DIE! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Airplanes usually…avoid bad weather, right? With much notice from ground control? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
I'm surprised Our Hero isn't just aiming the plane straight AT all the sharks. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Incredibly, the bullets did NOT change the 1000-pound living projectile's trajectory. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
…and that's the story of what REALLY happened to that missing Malaysian plane. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
They kept Robbie Rist's theme from the first one! Because no one else would cover it, I guess. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Mark McGrath is a character, NOT a cameo. If this does well for him, he'll never have to do a Sugar Ray reunion. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
I wonder if they should've asked Matt Lauer to audition first. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
And there's Andy Dick as a cop (NO) and Kelly Ripa and there may be more cameos than sharks in this. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
That's what the Statue of Liberty really means. And that's…one to grow on! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
The commercial says we should be using #Sharknado2 and not #Sharknado2TheSecondOne. THE HASHTAG IS NO LONGER YOUR CALL TO MAKE, SYFY.
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Wow, actually filmed on Liberty Island. I remember this exact angle from the statue. 500 points to Syfy House. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
With these clouds and forecast, and the Mets game is still on schedule? Man, MLB commissioner is strict. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
#Sharknado2TheSecondOne has been brought to you tonight by "The Today Show"! Be sure to stop by the NBC Store on your way out of Manhattan!
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Judd Hirsch in a taxi. So much decades-old typecasting. Can teens even track any of this? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Thinks our hero Fin, "I hate the smell of shark innards in the morning." #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Richard Kind waits for a hot dog, Oh, and also they're filming a scene around him. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Prediction: ex-ballplayer Richard Kind is this movie's answer to ID4's Randy Quaid… #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Umbrellaphoon attack! Wait, no, it's just the one. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
And Vivica A. Fox is playing this movie's answer to ID4's Vivica A. Fox. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Right after this break, we return to "Black Sunday" with sharkbombs instead of an actual bomb. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Bonus survey question: even with sharkcipitation looming and the game canceled, will the Mets quit or soldier on? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
The number 42 makes a cameo! This means it all MEANS something! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Good thing it's Bring Your Own Bat Day and not Bring Kids With Seafood Allergies Day. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
The #7 train will now take us to our next homage to either "Speed" or "Pelham 1-2-3". #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Vivica A. Fox's understudy is down! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
HUUUR HIPSTERS SUCK HUUUUUR (*sigh*) #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Shark can bite off an entire subway side? Are these Deep Blue Sea bred? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Subway (Eat Fresh!) product placement in a subway. Finally their CEO can die happy. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
And then he stabs the shark with a bat! Stab, batter, stab! Somehow! Bat magic! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
I missed the call: didn't see a "Men in Black 2" homage coming. Who would? Or should? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Ad for the "Go Shark Yourself" app. As if the movie weren't telling all of us that already. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Awww, the widdle baby shark likes Fin! Let's keep him! And name him Gnawy! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Judd Hirsch returns as ID4's Judd Hirsch character. Somewhere, Roland Emmerich is spinning in his money bin. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
WILHELM SCREAM! Will there be more? Let's watch! Or listen and avert our eyes. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Next homage: "Cloverfield"! But with less shaky-cam, totally inauthentic. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"Death by Liberty's Crown" would be a terrible band name. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Remember, kids, buy "The Today Show" wherever you shop or bank! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Please oh please let Tara Reid augment her stump not with a chainsaw but with a Gatling gun. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
FINALLY the obligatory Times Square scene. Can't believe they held out this long. Nice self-control, #Sharknado2TheSecondOne!
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Biz Markie owns a pizza joint! I'd eat there. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Such acting and atmosphere and drama! Wait, no, that's the "As Above, So Below" teaser. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
NO, TWITTER, I DO NOT WANT PROMOTED TWEETS WITH SHARKS IN THEM. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
By the time "Into the Storm" opens, people will be like "A tornado with NOTHING in it? Are those dangerous?" #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Now we're at "Midtown" Deli and not a Subway? Did Subway not pony enough endorsement dough? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Fin's gonna sword-fight him a shark! Hopefully someone tosses the shark a sword so it's an honorable fight. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Tara Reid stays behind to save the children and NOT go find a stump-weapon. It's her free time, I guess. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Stair sharks are the new land sharks. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Oh, no, CG water! A taxi's worst weakness! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Next homage: "Pitfall"! Good thing this isn't a Crocasaurus sequel. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
NOOO! Not Jeff Goldblum's dad! I mean, uh, not Taxi guy! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
BOOOO "jump the shark" joke BOOOOO stop stealing Twitter's easy material BOOOO #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"Let's Be Cops" teaser reminds me of the "Let's Be Cops" Promoted Tweet I saw 15 minutes ago. THEATER-BLOCKED. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
The stirring ex-surfer-dude's elevator speech will be remembered al…what was I typing? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Sure, bicycles can outrun tornadoes! If only Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt had known! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Running around hallways with explosives or weapons or whatever! Master plan courtesy of Hans Gruber Inc. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Only half an hour left and I'm still waiting for McGrath to sing "IIIII JUST WANNA FLY" and flying shark eats him. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"The Today Show" needs YOU to watch NBC every morning! Plug plug pluggity plug plug! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Yeah, tossing explosives into tornadoes is how we here in Tornado Alley cope, too. In our dreams. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"We're gonna need a bigger tornado-bomb. FETCH ME A NUKE." #Sharknado2TheSecondOne #deleteddialogue
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"You're just making this up as you go along!" says Vivica A. Fox to screenwriter Thunder Levin. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Flaming stair sharks! Manhattan horror trifecta! Achievement unlocked! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
The Shark Torch is my favorite member of the Fintastic Four. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Why did Fin THROW the ax? Keep a tight grip, CHOP the flying shark, KEEP the ax! You sharkfigher AMATEUR. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
We only have so many minutes left for ad placement, so YOU GO BUY TODAY SHOW MERCHANDISE NOW. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Robert Klein's alive! Best news I've gotten out of this movie so far. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne #PublicService
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Freon tank? Wait, so now we're gonna freeze the thing we were trying to nuke earlier? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne #tryanything
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
A chainsaw! The one true shark kryptonite! If only our world had those. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
"But I've BEEN eaten!" says Ian Ziering, referring to himself and the '90s Hollywood system. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Which of these power tools will save the day? CAN WE BUILD IT? #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
PLOT TWIST: Tara Reid's stump-weapon revealed as a ROTARY saw. Hopefully she charged it for 24 hours first. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Because plugging a chainsaw into a giant power source will infuse it with Merlin's soul! I guess! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Right after the breaK: Fin goes tornado-surfing and hangs ten using a stunned shark as his board. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
In case you wanna watch something worse than #Sharknado2TheSecondOne later this year, here's a teaser for "TMNT"!
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
.@nancipants Vivica's noble sacrifice will make the world safe once again for white, white love! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Quickly, to your trunks! Any old crap you forgot you had will make a useful weapon! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne #wheresmyflashlight
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Ziering flies through tornado power-diving at sharks. A scene his agent insisted MUST be in there before signing on #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
This just in: TODAY SHOW LIVES! You can still watch every morning! Please oh please we need viewers so bad #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Fringe benefit: those shark guts will do wonders for his silky smooth skin! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
PLOT TWIST 2: a successful shark shooting. Chief Brody would be slightly less aghast.at all of this now. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Manhattan keeps rooftop fireworks displays set up 24/7/365 for JUST this kind of occasion, rain or shine. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
Scene during the end credits! Fin eats New York pizza. Biz Markie, you MORE than "Just a Friend"! #Sharknado2TheSecondOne
— Randy Golden (@RandallGolden) July 31, 2014
…and thus it ends with an Avengers end-credits homage, except with pizza instead of shawarma, just like any real NYC tourist would do.
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Midlife Crisis Crossover! 
I actually enjoyed #1, I’ll see it, why the heck not!
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That’s the spirit! It’s already listed in On Demand, and I’m sure they’ll rerun it dozens of times. Very convenient!
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Sometimes mindless entertainment that doesn’t try to be more than that is very satisfying!
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Following and watching (we’re having so much fun laughing and yelling at the TV)
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Fun times, isn’t it? I’ll probably get to watch a second time this weekend with my wife, who only got to see the first ten minutes. I missed several cameos and lines of dialogue the first time around, so for me it’ll be like new!
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Part of the enjoyment for me was seeing, without accessing IMDB, which celebrity would be CGI’d out of existence next from fake shark bites, whether Kelly Osbourne, Wil Wheaton, or Judd Hirsch. It was the basest level of fun I have seen for a long time on television, granted that I could not really follow whatever plot had been written for the film. After all, the subtitle “The Second One” and awkward add ins from other Universal channels like NBC or the Weather Channel, cheapen the experience. I thought it was a good mixture of pop culture, nerd culture, online culture which, probably, will bring ratings for the Sci-fi, excuse me, Syfy Channel.
Morgan Howland
Pop Song History blog.
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This one definitely had a bigger budget than the first one, more celebs interested in joining the fun, and more advertisers wanting to hop aboard the Sharknado Express, and yet the plot was still thinner than newspaper. I rarely watch Syfy Original Movies, but compared to what few I’ve glimpsed, Sharknado 2 is the best Syfy Original Movie in world history.
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