2015 Road Trip Photos #1: Close Up with Taylor the Swift

Mini-Zachary Taylor!

All the best road trips start with a stop. Sure, you could drive fourteen continuous hours from Indianapolis to New Orleans with pauses only for gas, food, bathrooms, and traffic jams. Or you could break up the monotony of hundreds of miles of forested interstate scenes with some creative opportunities for learning, thinking, or gawking. Some say the journey is better than the destination, but why settle for just one destination?

After an aggravating forty-minute delay due to hometown road construction that saw a three-lane interstate reduced to one backed-up single-file BMV standstill, we were all too relieved to escape town and head south toward open roads, sunny skies, fresh air, American freedom, and pure vacation joy.

Our first stop: a Presidential burial site. Say hi to mini-Zachary Taylor.

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2015 Road Trip Prologue: Our Accidentally Topical Vacation

Beignets!

Certain parties insisted beignets would be the most important important and life-changing aspect of our experience. Let’s just get these out of the way up front.

Each year my wife and I take a road trip to a different part of the United States and see what sorts of historical sites, natural splendors, bizarre man-made creations, culinary marvels, and valuable life lessons await us. We began the tradition in 1999 during our best-friend years as an excuse to attend geek conventions and fan gatherings outside Indianapolis. After four years of narrowly focused hijinks, the tradition evolved through our happily married years into an ongoing project to visit as many other states as possible, see what they have that we don’t, and filter the results through our peculiar sensibilities.

For some families, vacation means picking a campground, braving the wilderness, and hiking until everyone succumbs to bug bites. For some, vacation means a beach, too much alcohol, and sunburns severe enough to scald away the worst hangover. For me as a child, vacation was visiting elderly relatives and napping on their furniture until time to leave. For my wife as a child, vacationing was something other families did because they had spare money.

Today we keep our own agenda. Finding creative ways to spend quality time together. Searching for tourism options that wouldn’t occur to our peers. Scouring for surprises in unusual places. Sometimes investigating the popular destinations when their claims to fame intersect our fields of interest or just pique our curiosity.

We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

Right this way for a brief overview of this year’s road trip!

MCC 2015 Food Photo Marathon #4: Half One Thing, Half Another

Acapulco Burrito!

Our very special MCC extended interlude continues!

Four out of every five business days I bring a home-assembly turkey-‘n’-cheese sandwich to work for lunch. It’s one of the little ways we cut budget corners so we can set aside more disposable income for conventions, vacations, comics, movie tickets, and so on. Spending eight or ten bucks a day on lunch works out to $40-$50/week, or $160-$250/ month, or $1,920-$3,000/year. That’s an awful lot of geek merchandise and travel frills to leave behind. So cheap sack lunches are the rule of my routine.

Once a week I do lunch out with a coworker. On extremely rare occasions, when I’m absolutely sick and tired of Oscar Meyer, and we didn’t have any leftovers in the fridge that I could bring to work and nuke, then I might go out alone for a bite. Pictured above from one such outing is a burrito topped with chili sauce and chili con queso, garnished by a small sidekick of salad, all from a Mexican place called Acapulco Joe’s. I’d been wanting to try it for years, but I kept forgetting it was there. From the dingy decor and rustic exterior, I hadn’t expected an arty presentation that looks like something Two-Face would order from his personal crime chef.

Right this way for a half of a different color!

2001 Road Trip Photos, Part 3 of 3: The Roads to Paducah

Paducah Mural!

This mural was one of several painted on the floodwalls that separated downtown Paducah from the banks of the Ohio River. It’s the only one I photographed and therefore the greatest of them all, probably.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration.

Yes, Metropolis was fun and the Celebration itself had its share of vivid personalities and eye-catching exhibitions, but far be it from us to drive three hundred miles, engage in a single activity, then do an about-face and retreat without surveying some of the nearby environs. Because road-trip science demanded further investigation.

Right this way for preserved bits and pieces of Paducah from fourteen years ago!

2001 Road Trip Photos, Part 2 of 3: Super-Villains vs. the Super Museum

Super Museum!

Look, up on the bucket list! It’s a bird sanctuary! It’s a plane hangar! It’s the SUPER MUSEUM!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration.

Much of the Superman Celebration is like any small-town carnival party: a mix of great local foods and pro concession stands; traveling amusement park rides; amateur sports competitions; a parade or two; a group community yard sale; and things like that. But every small-town carnival party committee in America wishes it had a tourist attractor as heroic as the Super Museum.

Right this way for more about the Museum, and photos of the 2001 Superman Celebration special guests!

2001 Road Trip Photos, Part 1 of 3: The Great City of Metropolis

Us + Superman!

The two of us have attended the Superman Celebration four times. This was our first group shot with their iconic statue. Photo by some fellow tourist with no concept of how centering works.

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen wonders, constructs, architecture, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. My son tagged along from 2003 until 2013 when he ventured off to college. In later years those trips took the form of cross-country drives to other states, passing by odd roadside attractions to see historically significant locales, world-famous landmarks, and/or pretty natural scenery. For our first four trips, we were all about geek-centric gatherings.

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration. More than just a carnival acknowledging their local heritage and history, the Celebration invites tourists from all walks to come join in their festivities, as well as actors from various Superman movies, TV shows, and other related Super-works who come in for autographs and Q&As.

The 37th annual Celebration is coming up this weekend, June 11-14, 2015. We regret we’ll be missing this one due to other commitments, but in honor of that special occasion, we dug through our scrapbooks and photo albums to unearth our 35mm souvenirs of the very first time we visited the self-styled real-world hometown of the Man of Steel.

Right this way for classic shots of Superman’s kind of town!

2014 Road Trip Photos #33: Season Finale, Last Call for Outtakes

Bi-Centennial Money Car!

One of the many vehicles that missed the cut for Part 29 was the Bi-Centennial Money Car, a ’76 Cadillac covered in pennies. Some things you’re really curious about, and then some things you realize you’d rather not ask.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: we guided you through our annual road trip in thirty-two episodes, from Indianapolis to Minnesota/St. Paul to Fargo to home again. In our grand finale: one last round of outtakes from everywhere and everything else we saw besides Minnesota, all kinds of little bonus moments in between the shots in the previous chapters. Sure, I could’ve simply done a more thorough job of vetting photos the first time around and made the previous entries twice as long, but then what would I do for outtakes?

Right this way for the end of all 2014 things!

2014 Road Trip Photos #32: Outtakes, Minnesota

The Source!

Alternate closeup of “The Source” in Rice Park, a gift to the city from the erstwhile Women’s Institute of St. Paul. in Part 16 I posted a wider shot from the other side that captured the whole fountain and a few gratuitous, ubiquitous cranes.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

With each year’s travelogue we like to conclude with a second-chance review through the hundreds of photos we took to see which photos were unfairly cut from the final roster, which ones didn’t fit into the narrative but possess their own merit, and/or which ones slipped through the cracks for no valid reason…

In the penultimate chapter of our 33-part saga, we take a look back at scenes from Minnesota, mostly the Twin Cities, that were skipped the first time around for a variety of reasons. No photographer shares every shot they take, but sometimes a few keepers get unfairly lost in the shuffle.

Right this way for one final mini-tour through the North Star State!

2014 Road Trip Photos #31: Outtakes on the Way

Starry Night Buffalo!

This “Starry Night” buffalo was one of several unexpected sights we saw while driving but weren’t in a position to pull over for careful posing. I slowed my roll, my wife got the shot, and then I totally overlooked it while I was compiling the Day 5/6 Fargo/Moorhead pics. Let’s just pretend we were saving the best buffalo for last.

With each year’s travelogue we like to conclude with a second-chance review through the hundreds of photos we took to see which photos were unfairly cut from the final roster, which ones didn’t fit into the narrative but possess their own merit, and/or which ones slipped through the cracks for no valid reason. The eight pics in this first set of outtakes share a common bond: all were taken on the way there and back again while our vehicle was in motion. No brakes, no setup, just snapping as quickly as we could. It’s all a part of the MCC No Attraction Left Behind initiative.

(As always, photos are clickable for enlargement and resolution and such.)

Right this way for more sights and signs on the way!

2014 Road Trip Photos #30: Roger and Me

Ebert and me!

Imagine it: a syndicated series called Ebert & Golden and the Movies. Every episode would’ve been thirty minutes of Ebert talking cinema and me nodding my head, taking notes, and silently scrunching up my face if I disagreed.

Welcome to my third annual Roger Ebert entry!

On the occasion of the noted film critic’s passing on April 4, 2013, I wrote at length about the impact he and his partner/rival/dear friend Gene Siskel had on me at an impressionable age. In 2014 I wrote about Steve James’ documentary Life Itself, which unexpectedly became a chronicle of Ebert’s final days as cancer took its toll. (We’ve also visited the Chicago theater named after Siskel, but that doesn’t count. Wrong guy.)

Here we are again with another Ebert tribute after a brief stopover in his hometown. We weren’t even supposed to be there that day.

Right this way for more of that famous thumb!

2014 Road Trip Photos #29: The Fast and the (in)Famous

Batmobile!

At conventions we’ve seen a 1966 Batmobile and one of Nolan’s Bat-Tumblers, but the Batman Returns Batmobile was an elusive quarry…until now.

Day Seven. The end of our road trip was nigh. Eight hours and 500+ miles separated us from home, but the vacation wasn’t over yet. In the past we’ve always felt let down when our final day’s stops were just for food, gas, and bathrooms. That’s no fun, memorable way to conclude your year’s best adventure. This time we founds a few notable places along the way that we’d overlooked in previous years. One of them was full of cars.

Right this way for more cars for the good and the evil!

2014 Road Trip Photos #28: The Last Visions of St. Paul

Wabasha Street Caves: the entrance!

Welcome to the wonderful world of urban spelunking!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

Day Six had taken us from the other twin cities of Fargo/Moorhead to a Minneapolis city park with its own 53-foot waterfall, and would end for the evening in Wisconsin. Before we left Minnesota’s Twin Cities for the year, we had one final appointment to keep on Thursday night for a tour that sounded interesting and offered limited windows of opportunity, but came with a catch that we weren’t aware of till after we arrived.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #27: The Lovely Minnehaha Shuddered

Minnehaha Falls!

A few hours’ drive southeast from Fargo/Moorhead brought us right back to the Twin Cities, where we did lunch and had two more sights to see before exiting Minnesota for the year.

Through no conscious intent, many of our to-do list stops for our seven-day vacation comprised man-made structures, companies, businesses, and other unnatural things — memorials, sculptures, State Capitol domes, foodstuffs, and so on. Nature was present in the background, but in a state containing a reputed 10,000+ lakes, we weren’t veering out of our way for specific natural wonders nearly often enough by the average traveler’s standards.

That brings us to Day Six and Minnehaha Falls.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #26: Voyage Like a Viking

Hjemkomst!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

We knew Day Six would be our last day in North Dakota and Minnesota for the foreseeable future. Based on our preconceptions, pop culture history, and the accents of people I used to know in the area, we figured we ought to visit at least one attraction with vaguely Scandinavian influence before heading back to the Midwest.

Behold: the majestic Hjemkomst!

Right this way for more Viking-style pics!

2014 Road Trip Photos #25: An Evening Stroll Through Downtown Fargo

Fargo Billboard!

To me, this is cooler than any billboard in my hometown.

Day Five’s return trip from the nuclear missile command center back to Fargo was draining and featureless. Our evening plans took us to the complete opposite of that: Fargo’s cozy, artful downtown. Lots of brownstone buildings from times past redone at ground level with contemporary storefronts, hiding the occasional flourish here and there, all largely deserted on a Wednesday evening. The whole place was practically ours.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #24: American Doomsday Machines

Bunker Entrance!

Down here in the bunker, during Armageddon you might not have needed 3 million SPF sunblock.

Conscious survivors of the 1980s remember the uneasy Cold War days, when tensions between America and the USSR were at their peak. Each side had their credos, their agendas, their grudges against each other, their spies, their cross-purposes, and their active, massive, scary nuclear arsenals in case the other side got any deplorable ideas. Movies like WarGames, Fail-Safe, The Day After, Dr. Strangelove, and 60% of all post-apocalyptic sagas mined our fears of mutual assured destruction for cautionary tales, humanist allegories, and disturbing visuals, all the more frightening to us youngsters because we couldn’t be sure that the adult politicians in charge wouldn’t do something stupid and trigger the end of the world.

Both countries still have their differences today, but relations aren’t at anywhere near the same state of hateful paranoia, so everyone’s cut back on their standby nuclear stockpiles. Out in the middle of the North Dakota flatlands, there’s one distant, decommissioned hideout codenamed Oscar-Zero where the U.S. military once stationed a handful of men 24/7 to oversee the controls and prepare to throw the world’s deadliest switches in case the American President declared Game Over.

Today you can bring in the whole family for a visit. There’s a guided tour and a gift shop.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #23: North Dakota Flatland Interlude

Tractor!

You know you’re truly on a road trip through the most peaceful parts of the American heartland when you can take photos while you’re driving without frightening your spouse to death.

We realized during the planning stages that Day Five would have some of the longest, potentially least exciting driving stretches of the entire trip. We’d already spent four hours on the road from the Twin Cities to Fargo before lunch, but we had another destination on the afternoon itinerary, some ninety minutes further still.

We’d seen the beautiful sights of South Dakota on our 2009 road trip, but this was our first time stepping into its upper twin. Both were granted statehood on the same day in 1889, but the parts we saw didn’t look much alike.

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2014 Road Trip Photos #22: Platter 9 from Outer Space

Space Aliens!

Day Five took us to Fargo around lunchtime. Down the street from the Visitors Center was a restaurant that really spoke to us despite their authentic translator problems.

Right this way for your featured selections from the sci-fi food club!

2014 Road Trip Photos #21: Fame and Fargo

Chuck Yeager!

General Chuck Yeager was the first man to break the speed of sound. And he’s been to Fargo.

Day Five brought us to a state we’d never seen, a town I’d known only from a movie, and some familiar names we didn’t expect to greet us.

I-94 West through Minnesota takes you to the twin cities of Moorhead, MN and Fargo, ND, two cities in different states with very different levels of popularity, all thanks to Hollywood. A few miles into North Dakota, a quick stop at their Visitors Center is all it takes to connect with big-name actors and personalities. One or two of them are even from Fargo.

Right this way for hands across Fargo!

2014 Road Trip Photos #20: Monkey Donuts and the Rest Stop Lake

Mojo Monkey!

Two of the four creations we sampled at Mojo Monkey Donuts in St. Paul: Hanna Banana and the Maple Bacon Bar. (Click to enlarge! That way you get even more donut!)

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year from 2003 to 2013 my wife, my son, and your humble writer headed out on a long road trip to anywhere but here. Our 2014 road trip represented a milestone of sorts: our first vacation in over a decade without my son tagging along for the ride. At my wife’s prodding, I examined our vacation options and decided we ought to make this year a milestone in another way — our first sequel vacation. This year’s objective, then: a return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. In my mind, our 2006 road trip was a good start, but in some ways a surface-skimming of what each state has to offer. I wanted a do-over.

My wife and I awoke on Day Five in St. Paul a little grateful that our lodgers did not offer the sort of free continental morning snacks we’re used to seeing in our hotels every year. Being deprived of this standard money-saving amenity forced us to hunt for breakfast options in our surroundings, preferably on the imaginative side.

Right this way for more donuts and Minnesota greenery!