Tag Archives: walt disney company

“Star Wars: the Clone Wars”: a Few Kind Words at the Funeral

March 21, 2013 By in TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Star Wars: the Clone Wars Clonetrooper Gatling laser

What do you call a Clonetrooper with a Gatling laser? The winner.

While Star Wars fans worldwide have been agog ever since the Walt Disney Company commenced production of the still-untitled Episode VII, a large segment of the fan base has been in mourning this month over the news that the season-five finale of Star Wars: the Clone Wars, which aired March 2nd, would be the final episode of the Cartoon Network series. Though ratings didn’t seem to be an issue and production on a sixth season had already been underway, the message between the lines in the official Lucasfilm press release was that the company’s new long-term mission would be focusing on the ostensible Episode VII era, the future of the Star Wars galaxy after Return of the Jedi, rather than filling in gaps between the previous films. Anyone still in denial had their hopes crushed this week by new reports that Lucasfilm is actively reassigning some Clone Wars contributors to different projects and downsizing others.

Fans are hoping the completed season-six material is allowed to see the light of day in some fashion (as DVD extras? as exclusive online content? as a Disney XD miniseries? as convention bootlegs alongside The Star Wars Holiday Special?), but no promises have been made. The final episode, “The Wrong Jedi”, gave cold comfort and depressing closure to the Jedi training of the series’ central figure, young Ahsoka Tano, providing one last twist of fate that would allow her a gateway into potential further adventures, either in season six or in other media. Now that Episode VII has become Lucasfilm Job One, Ahsoka fans probably shouldn’t get their hopes up.

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The Star Wars Spinoffs You’ll Never See

February 6, 2013 By in Misc. Media, Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Star Wars, Ice Cream Maker Guy

Not coming soon: “Star Wars Origins: Ice Cream Maker Guy”

From the Department of Completely Expected Developments:

This week Disney confirmed they have plans afoot to initiate aesthetic strip-mining and merchandise-driven IP expansion for their latest acquisition, the world-renowned Star Wars universe. We already knew director J.J. Abrams had signed on to captain the ostensible Star Wars Episode VII for release in 2015, but Disney has no moral imperative to stop there. At the very least, we’ve been duly notified of two proposed film spinoffs in the works: one based on Boba Fett, because chicks dig guys who act tough and die quickly; and one based on young Han Solo, which will hopefully be more action-packed and less educational than The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.

Expect many more theoretical projects to be announced in the days ahead as assorted Hollywood professionals shelve their own original ideas and instead spend all their waking hours competing for a turn at being a cog inside Disney’s newest money-making machine. Odds are the following proposed spinoffs will not be a part of any future PR announcements:

* Star Wars Origins: Ice Cream Maker Guy — If you blinked at the wrong moment during the Bespin sequence in The Empire Strikes Back, you missed the fleeting seconds of screen time that comprised the complete career of Willrow Hood, more affectionately known to sarcastic fans as Ice Cream Maker Guy. Last seen (and only seen) carrying a large white cylinder through the crumbling halls of Cloud City, Hood’s meaningless presence has taken on a life of its own in recent years, with enough apocryphal trivia accumulated to support a Wookieepedia entry several hundred words too long. Every single sentence of that entry will be tossed out in favor of an origin story written from scratch. The ideal actor for this role, in my flexible mind: Community‘s Danny Pudi. (It does not have to be Donald Glover. Don’t be racist.)

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Disney Acquires Lucasfilm, Announces “Star Wars: Episode VII”, Steals Headlines from Horrible Hurricane Whatsitsname

October 30, 2012 By in Misc. Media, Movies/Films/Flicks, TV/DVD Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 11 Comments

Disney + Lucasfilm = $$$$$$$The Internet cracked in half Tuesday afternoon when the Walt Disney Company announced it would be spending $4.05 billion on the acquisition of Lucasfilm Ltd. lock, stock, and blaster barrel. Compared to the $4.24 billion that Disney paid for Marvel Entertainment in 2009, Lucasfilm was quite the sweetheart deal. Though many legal approvals and compliance processes are still underway, Disney sweetened the deal by announcing plans to have Star Wars Episode VII in theaters by 2015, just in case government officials needed more incentive to permit the existence of a Disney/Marvel/Pixar/Lucasfilm supercorporation.

The Internet has already spent hours brainstorming the potential ramifications of this creative business arrangement. The usual social networks instantly lost interest in the upcoming election and any major death-related news events. Any long-dormant Star Wars message boards just received a massive defibrillator shock they never saw coming. Within a month or so, expect the mainstream media to hop on the bandwagon and regurgitate all our online blurbs.

Alas, without further elaboration from the parties involved, all we have as of today is unfounded speculation and a long list of questions. So many random thoughts, so little confirmation of what to expect:

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