Tag Archives: vacation

Our 2023 Road Trip #3: Tennessee Geeks ‘n’ Grub

April 5, 2025 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Two stuffed dolls of Grogu and Pancake Popple the same size sitting on a display case. Hanging above them on the wall are five Snorks toys.

Grogu and Pancake Popple welcome you to their burger joint!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken one road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. After years of contenting ourselves with everyday life in Indianapolis and any nearby places that also had comics and toy shops, we overcame some of our self-imposed limitations and resolved as a team to leave the comforts of home for annual chances to see creative, exciting, breathtaking, outlandish, historical, and/or bewildering new sights in states beyond our own. We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

For 2023 it was time at last to venture to the Carolinas, the only southern states we hadn’t yet visited, with a focus on the city of Charleston, South Carolina. Considering how many battlefields we’d toured over the preceding years, the home of Fort Sumter was an inevitable addition to our experiential collection…

After the overlong Kentucky leg, only Tennessee stood between us and the Carolinas. Our first hotel of the evening would be in a rather charming city where we previously stayed for a convention and had hoped to revisit someday. Same as the first half of the day, the drive took far longer than we would’ve liked, though this time road construction wasn’t to blame.

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Our 2023 Road Trip #2: Ernest Meets Henry Clay

March 31, 2025 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Jim Varney's tombstone with a large green plant, small Slinky Dog and other items left in tribute.

Somewhere in the multiverse is a timeline where this counted toward our list of Presidential burial sites. Our timeline, not so much.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken one road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. After years of contenting ourselves with everyday life in Indianapolis and any nearby places that also had comics and toy shops, we overcame some of our self-imposed limitations and resolved as a team to leave the comforts of home for annual chances to see creative, exciting, breathtaking, outlandish, historical, and/or bewildering new sights in states beyond our own. We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

For 2023 it was time at last to venture to the Carolinas, the only southern states we hadn’t yet visited, with a focus on the city of Charleston, South Carolina. Considering how many battlefields we’d toured over the preceding years, the home of Fort Sumter was an inevitable addition to our experiential collection…

Over halfway into Day One we were already running behind schedule in Kentucky, but wanted to commit at least one act of sightseeing before heading to our next state. Our not-so-obvious choice: Lexington Cemetery! Longtime MCC readers know we’ve visited the final resting places of over half the Presidents of the United States of America, but on rare occasion we’ll pay respects to other notable personalities as well. Lexington has no Presidents to its credit (though we’ll get to an erstwhile Commander-in-Chief later in this miniseries), but a few well-known names were laid to rest there. One of them was even born after 1900.

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Our 2023 Road Trip #1: Kentucky Greets ‘n’ Greeks

March 30, 2025 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Purple horse statue with large blue logo on one side for the town of Simpsonville, "Horse Capital of the World".

Kentucky racehorses! Now available in grape flavor.

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken one road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. We grew up in families that couldn’t afford annual out-of-state vacations. We were geeks more accustomed to vicarious life through the windows of pop culture than through in-person adventures. After years of contenting ourselves with everyday life in Indianapolis and any nearby places that also had comics and toy shops, we overcame some of our self-imposed limitations and resolved as a team to leave the comforts of home for annual chances to see creative, exciting, breathtaking, outlandish, historical, and/or bewildering new sights in states beyond our own, from the horizons of nature to the limits of imagination, from history’s greatest hits to humanity’s deepest regrets and the sometimes quotidian, sometimes quirky stopovers in between.

We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

After 2022’s sojourn northeast to the peaceful scenery of Vermont, for 2023 we switched directions and headed south for some American history tourism (one of Anne’s favorite things), some Southern culinary comfort, and some light searching for any Civil War statues they hadn’t already toppled. It was time at last to venture to the Carolinas, the only southern states we hadn’t yet visited, with a focus on the city of Charleston, South Carolina. Considering how many battlefields we’d toured over the preceding years, the home of Fort Sumter was an inevitable addition to our experiential collection.

First we actually had to get there. Our journey began, as they nearly always do, with episodic pit stops in the other states between us and our eventual destination. For most of our southbound vacations, Kentucky is first in line.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 10: Lincoln Home & Law & Gifts

November 15, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Anne in a gift shop with dark brown wood-paneled walls, smiling and waving a top hat.

The show-stopping tap-dancing abolition-loving certifiably Presidential finale!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…and it all comes down to this: last call for Lincoln! Two entries’ worth of Abe-centric attractions combined into one double-sized finale!

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 9: ‘Round Springfield

November 10, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Brick wall mural of Homer Simpson eating one of many pink-frosted donuts raining upon him from above. Psychedelic tattoos cover his open yellow flesh.

The third Springfield we’ve ever visited has a mural that peers into a fourth Springfield.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…and Springfield had no shortage of engagement for us out-of-towners nestled among the numerous museums and points of Lincoln-based interest — food, art, a spot of geek shopping, and Saturday morning downtown street events we hadn’t expected.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 8: The Lincoln Museum Minus Lincoln

November 7, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Statues: Mary Todd Lincoln trying on a dress while Elizabeth Keckley pins it in the back.

Mary Todd Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckley, her personal dressmaker and confidante.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…especially at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum, but they offered much more than excerpts from our old school textbooks. Most museums nowadays beat out my old textbooks, that’s for sure. Throughout our travels over the past 25 years we’ve found the subjects out there more varied, the exhibits filled with new names I never heard until I learned them through the magic of historical tourist attractions.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 7: His Presidential Library & Museum

November 4, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Statues of the Lincoln family (Abraham, Mary and their three sons) in front of an indoor replica of the White House facade. Anne stands between two of the boys, doing jazz hands.

If you liked Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy or Archie Meets the Punisher, you’ll love “Anne meets the Lincoln family”! This fall on C-SPAN 3!

How do you do, fellow olds! Here on Election Day Eve 2024, do you feel the despairing urge to retreat from the present-day reality’s endless shenanigans into not-too-distant days of yore, when Presidential candidates with far more character endured and even persevered through much worse times in American history? Have we got the escape hatch for you!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…which are even cooler when they’re paired with statues in action! We got all that and more when we departed the Illinois State Museum for our next stop, the much larger Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum. This huge edifice was opened in 2005 and contains the Lincoln Presidential Library and other research collections, in addition to a series of statues reenacting various moments in the sixteenth President’s life. The statues were sadly not animatronic, but that didn’t seem to bother the few dozen field-tripping students we had to wade through on our way in. A selection of relics were found here and there around the life-sized exhibits.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 6: Misc. Museum

October 25, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
A human skeleton and a horse skeleton posed together in a museum.

A man and his horse: the skeletons! Purchased in 1919 for non-Halloween purposes.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…though sometimes placard-based education can be interesting. The Illinois State Museum is smaller than our Indiana State Museum, but lured us to their doorstep with a temporary exhibit of Stuff Generation X Kids Had (including us!). We made the most of our admission fees and browsed other rooms while we were there.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 5: Generation X Belongs in a Museum

October 10, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Panasonic tape recorder from the '80s.

The first music-playing device I ever owned was a tape recorder like this one, but a cheaper brand.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

…and took occasional breaks from Lincolnmania. Our random walking tour of the Illinois State Capitol Complex led us to the Illinois State Museum, on the opposite end of the grounds from the State Capitol. As of the date of our visit, their centerpiece special exhibit was called “Growing Up X” — basically a nostalgia prompt-fest of Stuff Generation X Kids Had. We resented the implication that we now belong in a museum and our hobbies (past and present) are anthropological specimens to be wall-mounted for scrutiny by younger generations who don’t get us, in hopes maybe one day they will get us through museum education. We wouldn’t have to take this drastic step if they’d paid attention to our Throwback Thursday posts on the socials.

As members of the scrutinized class, we were curious to see which artifacts were deemed worthy and representative of the lived experience of us kids who dearly wish Baby Boomers had raised us better. I wasn’t surprised to see a few playthings I still have around the house or boxed up in the garage. Some erudite wall space was dedicated to contextualizing our childhoods and the escapist lifelines that let us suspend reality a few minutes at a time. Their vitrines were packed with collectibles that could’ve been culled from a single, shrewd Amazon Marketplace vendor. Nevertheless, some objects evoked deeper responses than others.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 4: Around the Capitol Complex

September 15, 2024 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Colorful 5-foot-tall top hat in a visitors' center. Images on the hat include young Abe Lincoln riding in a red car on a highway, a "Welcome to Springfield" sign, the official Lincoln's Home museum, and a wraparound cursive logo starting with the words "Road Trippin'".

A giant top hat welcomes road-trippers to the Illinois State Capitol Complex Visitors Center. We do love being seen.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

After our scenic tour inside the Illinois State Capitol, we returned to the car, drove over to the Capitol Complex behind the building, and drove a few laps around their visitor parking lots until a space finally opened up closer to our next attraction. Some spaces were cordoned off for a construction project; others were taken up by a few buses whose passengers we never encountered. The complex was apparently a popular place on Friday mornings.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 3: The Illinois State Capitol

September 13, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Looking up inside a capitol dome. Brown and tan stained glass middle ring, green center circle, circular silvery frieze in the outer circle. Around the perimeter are archways to various halls.

In 9 out of 10 capitol buildings, looking up into the dome is the coolest part.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

Case in point: after Lincoln’s tomb we wandered into downtown Springfield for some local flavor and sightseeing, only some of which was Lincoln-cenetered. Naturally we had to add the Illinois State Capitol to our state capitol collection, since we were already adding Springfield itself to our state capital collection anyway. We just really like collecting stuff.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 2: More Wars, More Memorials

September 8, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Large all-white globe on an outdoor pedestal. The Pacific Ocean side has metal discs marking locations where Illinoisans died in combat.

The World War II Illinois Veterans Memorial marks casualty locations across the Pacific theater.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

In addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. On past trips we’d visited the graves, tombs, mausoleums and virtual posthumous palaces of 24 American Presidents in varying accommodations and budgets. One of the biggest names ever to grace the White House kept eluding us: Abraham Lincoln, planted a mere three hours away in Springfield, Illinois. In May 2023 I figured: let’s make his tomb a trip headliner of its very own, not a warm-up act on the road to Branson or whatever. History is technically more Anne’s fervent interest than mine, but we found plenty to do beyond reading wordy educational placards…

The Lincoln Tomb is the most widely known part of Oak Ridge Cemetery, but curious visitors can find other departed souls and tributes to hometown soldiers who sacrificed their lives for their country, not just the Civil War. Whereas many cities and towns we’ve visited tend to plant their war memorials in or around their capitol buildings, town squares, Main Streets, or downtown areas, Springfield’s collection is near Oak Ridge’s west exit, at a remove from all the other Lincoln sightseeing options. Once again we had to navigate around field-trippers to take pics, as well as a small biker clan that had come to pay respects to the fallen they knew.

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The Lincoln Birthday Weekend, Part 1: The Tomb of Honest Abe

September 7, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Indoor brown rectangular monument shaped like a tall sarcophagus. Inscribed on the front: "Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865". State flags line the curved yellow wall behind it, plus the quote "Now he belongs to the ages."

President #16, Abraham Lincoln, d.4/15/1865, age 56.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: in addition to our annual road trips, my wife Anne and I have a twice-yearly tradition of spending our birthdays together on some new experience. Sometimes there’ll be a convention or special event fortuitously scheduled for the occasion; other times, we’ll take a short road trip somewhere we haven’t been before. The time spent together is the best birthday gift, every May for me and every October for her. We’re the Goldens. It’s who we are and what we do.

I’d rather not relive how we spent my birthday this year, but I’m more than happy to leap-frog past it to May 2023 and recount a much cheerier experience. Perhaps “cheerier” is the wrong word considering our first stop was a cemetery.

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Disney World! Part 31: The Season Finale and the Magic Outtakes

August 25, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Cinderella Castle shot closely enough to cut off its spires but far enough away that the dozen or so cast members dancing onstage are tiny. A giant Disney World 50th-anniversary seal is still mounted on the castle.

Alternate shot of the 4:00 Thursday performance of Mickey’s Magical Friendship Faire at Cinderella Castle.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…though we treasured the free times allotted to her in between. Nevertheless, the trip reached its conclusion. Before we leave Orlando behind, let’s take a look back at a selection of outtakes that didn’t make the cut in our previous thirty chapters for various reasons. I’ve arguably posted too many pics as it is, in this epic-length vacation slideshow carousel that didn’t quite hold its audience captive. The average internet user has likely been to Disney theme parks multiple times in their lives and may chuckle at the expense of us starstruck bumpkins who’ve gone on and on about this. Congrats on your affluent first-world upbringing that we didn’t quite have. To us the Disney World trip was like a one-in-a-billion lottery win minus the devastating tax burden. And I’d wager our ending credit card balances were smaller than yours.

Anyway: last call for Disney World photos! And an epilogue.

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Disney World! Part 30: The Last Sunrise and the Character Breakfast

August 7, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
A Princess Tiana cast member in a yellow ballroom dress and tiara poses regally while Anne and I do jazz hands on either side of her.

A royal meet-‘n’-greet with Princess Tiana!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…but the rest of the time was ours for frolicking around Disney World and our Disney Resort. Sadly, the magic eventually had to end. We had one more bit of mixed business and pleasure on the itinerary before takeoff.

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Disney World! Part 29: Magic Meals and Mouse Food

August 4, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Two Dole Whip floats sitting on a shaded wooden shelf, refer to caption.

Disney World superfans love Dole Whips! At left, the basic pineapple soft-serve float. At right, the Tropical Serenade — pineapple-orange-guava juice, coconut ice cream, and a pineapple upside-down cake pop.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and the handlers kept the winners well fed during the employees-only Tuesday night meet-and-greet beach party, Wednesday morning’s mandatory hours-long business-related seminars, and the Wednesday night company dinner party-trap. As you can imagine, we were much more excited to sample concessions and cuisine from the actual Disney World parks on our own recognizance.

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Disney World! Part 28: Magic Kingdom After Dark

August 3, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Disney's Cinderella Castle lit up all over at night, lots of blue and mostly purple.

Color me floored by Cinderella Castle’s surprising nighttime resemblance to the current Walt Disney Pictures title card.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and time was running out in her one free day. We had less 90 minutes to spend before we had to leave the Magic Kingdom for an appointment. We tried to make them count.

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Disney World! Part 27: The Magic Kingdom Beyond the Castle

July 20, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Bronze Lincoln bust on a pedestal in front of a black-and-white painting of Walt Disney.

We found their miniature American history museum! And you can’t have one of those without a bust of Lincoln.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t have to, so we could do actual tourism together in this supernaturally fun place where our families could never afford to visit in childhood, unlike all the other, more well-off whitebread kids who outnumbered us tens-of-millions-to-2. Thus we spent our afternoon in the Magic Kingdom wandering more than riding, gawking more than waiting in lines, and feeling dumbstruck at sights that surely would’ve blown our minds if we’d come here as kids. It was impossible to hold onto our Gen-X jadedness here.

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Disney World! Part 26: It’s a Small, Small, Small, Small World

July 14, 2024 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Three cutesy singing animatronic figurines with tribal face paints, two mushroom-shaped and one shaped like a thumb. Everything's blue and purple.

Welcome to animatronic Africa with mood lighting!

I ask you, what better time than right now for a shiny happy feel-good gallery of an alternate Earth in which everyone sets aside their differences, concedes they were all cranked out by the same animatronic manufacturer, celebrates mutual captivity on the same indoor canal, welcomes outsiders without fear of mass shootings or assassinations, and drowns out any concerns by singing the same catchy jingle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

…sorry, what were we talking about?

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Disney World! Part 25: Adventure Friends Cavalcade

July 5, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Disney World parade cast members: Mary Poppins and Stitch, dancing. Mary's eyes are closed. Bert the chimney sweep is nearly offscreen, aghast at something.

If Mary Poppins thinks those Banks whelps were a handful, wait’ll she gets a load of Stitch.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t. We didn’t leave ourselves a lot of time to explore the Magic Kingdom park — i.e., the one with the world-famous castle in it — but we encountered plenty of surprises in the short time allotted.

Case in point: the Disney Adventure Friends Cavalcade! There we were, wandering toward the northern border of Frontierland when we ran into a newly formed roadblock, which made way for a slew of Disney characters to emerge from a gate on our left. An even mix of popular favorites and deep-dive obscurities merrily danced, pranced, strolled, fed upon adulation, and maybe taught us a lesson that sometimes there are good reasons to stop traffic.

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