If you’ve been following Indiana’s tumult in national headlines, which I covered to a limited extent in last night’s entry and satirized obliquely last week, then you’re aware that the signing of Indiana’s remix of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act has incentivized the American jester majority to demote every resident in the once-kind-of-okay state of Indiana to the status of infamous generalized punchline stereotype for the next six months. So that’s been pretty inhibitive to my mental state, especially when internet quote-unquote “friends” join in the pummeling. Because, y’know, it’s my personal fault that a Congressman became governor by carrying 49% of the vote in an election with something like 52% voter turnout, and I have no idea how many eligible Hoosiers aren’t registered to vote and would drive the per-capita percentage still downward. Doesn’t matter to the world, though: if one-fourth of us make a wish, so wish we all.
Tag Archives: Grumpy Cat
Top 10 April 1st Headlines to Skip for Your Own Good
Yes, Americans, it’s that time of year again. April Fools Day is back and still not abolished. That special day you’ll spend trusting no one, suspecting every good deed, indulging every paranoia, checking every inanimate object twice for spring-loaded traps, fasting to avoid surprise hot sauce or rat poison, narrowing your eyes at every internet headline and wondering which spawn of The Onion will be the one to catch you off-guard, damage your calm, and embarrass you in front of cute people. We here at MCC tried to warn you last year, and yet here you are again, trying to live through April Fools like a stubborn mule. I just don’t get you.
But would you at least take some precautions? You’ll feel much better about your day if you quash someone else’s pranks, dodge a few attempted pratfalls, and skip over your favorite news site’s fake headlines. With your sanity in check and your anxieties unprovoked, you’ll be cackling and preening while those annoying little rascals starve without the site traffic. Someone ought to teach them a lesson, so I’m dumping all the burden on you.
Grumpy Cat Signs Three-Year $5 Million Deal to Join “The View”
In the wake of recent conflicting headlines regarding the revolving-door employment status of its longtime participants, ABC’s The View announced a new initiative to move forward into a bold new era by hiring Internet sensation Tardar Sauce, star of the massively popular “Grumpy Cat” meme, as new co-host to represent for furry, nonhuman, and hatemonger minorities. The arguably photogenic Ms. Sauce will replace outgoing co-host Joy Behar and has sinister plans to drive out the three survivors until none remain. ABC executives are on board with this dramatic plan in hopes of boosting viewership in the precious young-adult-male demographic from its current double-digit negative ratings share.
Viewers who were Grumpy Cat fans before Grumpy Cat was cool are cordially invited to share her official site or her official Facebook page with bandwagon jumpers to show how superior you are to them, even though she hates you and newcomers equally.

