“A Quiet Place: Day One”: The Mega-Muppets Take Manhattan

Lupita Nyong'o hunched fearfully in an alley, hugging a black-and-white cat.

“I’m not coming out of this alley until you promise Nakia gets more scenes in the next Black Panther.”

Previously on A Quiet Place: Emily Blunt was a heroic mother surviving on a post-apocalyptic farm with her remaining kids and without her Concerned Husband until things once again went awry and they fled to a nearby island, the perfect hiding place from that unnamed alien army who jump-‘n’-slash at the slightest noises but whose fatal weaknesses happened to include bodies of water. Our Family’s happy ending was nice for about ten minutes until one of them learned how to boat. Nevertheless, the day was later saved and human life found a way.

Director John Krasinski kept A Quiet Place: Part II‘s premise simple: “What if the first flick just kept going and was actually three hours long?” The sequel was more an expansion pack than a standalone tale unto itself. It came packaged with a free mini-prequel on the front, needlessly depicting how Day One of the invasion quickly devastated their small town. It was a satisfying course of more-of-the-same, but not in any groundbreaking way that left me yearning for further adventures in the Hyper-Hearing Horror-Horde Cinematic Universe.

Nevertheless, here we go again with some more prequel, A Quiet Place: Day One. With Krasinski off doing other things (i.e., IF, which I skipped), apparently any new AQP extensions are forbidden from moving the main characters forward, much like the Star Wars universe’s treadmilling-in-place spinoffs. Within that common yet exasperating genre-series boundary, what were the odds of a substitute filmmaker steering away from more-of-the-sameness?

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Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Inside Out 2” End Credits

Joy stands excitedly at the control panel with Anxiety, who looks sheepish and very orange. The room is all purple with rows of yellow light bulbs.

Manic Pixie Dream Joy welcomes Frazzled Rock!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Pixar made an entire movie about feels feeling feels! As someone who responds well to films that probe deeper emotions than “wheeeee”, I named Pete Doctor’s Inside Out my favorite film of 2015 – against the heavyweight competition of Creed, Spotlight, and Fury Road — after its in-depth examination of baseline emotions via cutesy anthropomorphization, as well as its complicated theses about the importance of sadness and the beginning of the end of childhood, wrecked me in the theater twice, back in that bygone era when I’d go see a film in theaters more than once if I thought it was that awesome.

Nine years later, Pixar has the blemished scorecard of any ordinary animation studio. I’ve had such mixed reactions that I only saw one of their last five films in theaters (and regretted giving in to the cash-grab). Nevertheless, I agreeably let them redeem Inside Out‘s stack of goodwill chips and left the house to catch the new Inside Out 2 while my inner voices of Skepticism and Hope squabbled with each other like Siskel and Ebert. Each of them scored points off the other, leaving me wrecked and nitpicky.

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My 2023 Reading Stacks #4: The Ludicrously Delayed Triple-Sized Wrap-Up

Bunch of books piled on our dining table, mostly graphic novels.

I usually prefer showing off all the covers, but we are waaaaay past the deadline that nobody gave me.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Welcome to our recurring MCC feature in which I scribble capsule reviews of everything I’ve read that was published in a physical format over a certain page count with a squarebound spine on it — novels, original graphic novels, trade paperbacks, infrequent nonfiction dalliances, and so on. Due to the way I structure my media-consumption time blocks, the list will always feature more graphic novels than works of prose and pure text, though I do try to diversify my literary diet as time and acquisitions permit.

Occasionally I’ll sneak in a contemporary review if I’ve gone out of my way to buy and read something brand new. Every so often I’ll borrow from my wife Anne or from our local library. But the majority of our spotlighted works are presented years after the rest of the world already finished and moved on from them because I’m drawing from my vast unread pile that presently occupies four oversize shelves comprising thirty-five years of uncontrolled book shopping. I’ve occasionally pruned the pile, but as you can imagine, cut out one unread book and three more take its place…

Yeah, this is beyond late and into the realm of “why bother now?” It isn’t even the only “year in review” post still on my to-do list. The stacks have cluttered the area around our computer desk this entire time and really need to be moved so I don’t start mixing them up with the books I’ve read so far in 2024, but in my mind they can’t be moved till their capsules are finished. I hate to post an abbreviated entry simply to get something “over with”, but the time has come, gone, lapped around and come again. In the spirit of spring cleaning before summer begins this very week, here’s everything else I read last year but with (mostly) shorter capsules than usual. Longer capsules could be provided upon request, I guess?

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“FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA” IN SUPER AWESOME DOLBY CINEMA ALL-CAPS-O-RAMA! (Well, Kinda!)

Post-apocalyptic warrior woman with black paint around her eyes gets out of a monster truck holding a sawed-off shotgun.

GET IN, LOSER! WE’RE GOING TO THE MOVIES!

PREVIOUSLY ON MIDLIFE CRISIS CROSSOVER: MAD MAX FURY ROAD WAS THE WINNER OF SIX ACADEMY AWARDS, A BEST PICTURE NOMINEE, ONE OF MY TOP 5 FILMS OF 2015, AND THE GREATEST MAD MAX MOVIE OF ALL TIME! I WATCHED IT AGAIN THE OTHER NIGHT AND IT WAS STILL LIKE BOBBING FOR GRENADES IN A BARREL FULL OF ADRENALIN! IT WAS EXTREMELY LOUDLY MIND-BLOWINGLY EXTREEEME! I WISH I COULD LEGALLY DRIVE LIKE THAT! AND I WROTE MY REVIEW IN SCREAMING MODE JUST LIKE THIS! IT WAS ONE OF OUR TOP 5 MOST POPULAR POSTS THAT YEAR! SO HERE WE GO AGAIN!

EVERYONE LOVED FURY ROAD SO MUCH, GEORGE MILLER MADE A PREQUEL! FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA IS NOW IN THEATERS! BUT THERE’S NO CHARLIZE THERON OR TOM HARDY OR THE ONE CANCELED GUY THAT HARDY REPLACED! NO ONE REMEMBERS HARDY’S PART ANYWAY BECAUSE FURIOSA WAS AWESOME! SHE DROVE A TRUCK AND HAD A RAD HEAVY METAL BIONICLE ARM AND SHE STOLE THE MOVIE! BUT NOW SHE’S ANYA TAYLOR-JOY! WHO ISN’T CHARLIZE THERON! BUT SHE SURVIVED THE MENU AND SHE WAS MAGIK IN THE NEW MUTANTS, SO SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SOME STUFF!

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Proclaiming the Good News of the “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes”

Smart ape holds a falcon on its gloved arm.

“So, eagle, you do for apes what you did for dwarves and hobbit?”

Previously on Planet of the Apes: apes rule Earth now! Andy Serkis’ Caesar led apes to victory but died for ape sins! Virus strike whole planet, make humanity stupider! Humanity also mute now! Lucky apes not have to hear human stupidity! Unless apes reinvent internet! Movies not say humans can’t type! Maybe ape moderators ban humans from simian media!

Everything’s coming up monkey-house as we continue with the prequel/reboot (preqboot?) series that’s been among the most consistently entertaining of its kind in this era of I.P. recycle-overdrive. (R.I.P. those once-cool X-Men preqboots whose producers turned their last two flicks into shiny dumpster clutter.) So far we’ve had nary a clunker in the new bunch, more than we can say for the original Apes pentalogy. That’s including the latest release, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, which box-office pundits are dubbing a failure because its opening weekend earned “only” $58 million domestic, nearly twice as much as all other May 2024 blockbuster openings. Guess it’s hard out here for a chimp.

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“Abigail”: Bunhead of Blood

Tween vampire ballerina bursts through a white door, large wood fragments flying, murder in her eyes.

Black Swan but with slightly less agony.

Horror hasn’t been a primary go-to genre for me as I’ve aged, but I’ll check out a given work in just about any genre if it can sink a hook into the elusive target that is my set of aesthetic peculiarities. (And by “hook” I do not mean I award imaginary brownie points for use of the empty “elevated horror” label.) In the wake of the Hollywood-wide restart after last year’s dual WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes, some 7,000 new, quick-bake horror flicks will be coming to theaters over the next several months as studios catch up on their precious blockbuster assembly-line schedules. Amid the flood of recent blood-soaked trailers — from high-concept to lowbrow to “the plot is a spoiler!” — one pitch spoke to me from the fray: “From the directors of the last two Scream movies!”

If the preceding sentences sound familiar, it’s because they’re largely lifted from my previous write-up of Late Night with the Devil. If horror flicks have taught me anything, it’s that recycling is cool. Sometimes old parts can be reused in a new contraption without collapsing. Sometimes the contraption is pretty nifty, like folding a newspaper into a sailboat, or making an omelet with leftover taco filling, or lifting the one-line concept from an old Universal monster movie but throwing away the rest of the movie because no one remembers it anyway.

Hence, directors Matt Bellinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (d/b/a the team “Radio Silence”) present Abigail. The 1936 work that inspired it is a spoiler. Its entire trailer is a spoiler. Fortunately it doesn’t spoil the whole runtime, as more twists abound and a crack ensemble makes up the difference in their performances whenever the writing withholds too much.

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C2E2 2024 Photos, Part 5 of 5: And the Rest!

Me doing jazz hands inside fake Alien webbing beneath a looming Alien Queen statue at least 15 feet tall.

Hi, I’m a xenomorph host!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

My wife Anne and I just got home from the latest edition of the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Exposition (“C2E2″), a three-day extravaganza of comic books, actors, creators, toys, props, publishers, freebies, Funko Pops, anime we don’t recognize, and walking and walking and walking and walking. We were undecided for months because this year it was scheduled the same weekend as one of our hometown shows, Indy Pop Con. Ultimately Chicago lured us back…

…and we had a great time pushing ourselves to the brink of exhaustion and possibly over its curb. We’ve shown you costumes, celebs, panels, jazz hands, and Artists Alley comics. But wait! There’s slightly more!

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C2E2 2024 Photos, Part 4 of 5: Artists Alley!

A dozen new comics and graphic novels, one bagged Star Trek back issue, and a tin sign with Fallout's Vault Boy handing you some Nuka-Cola.

My Artists Alley loot pile, plus a few freebies, a Fallout tin sign, and a back issue Anne really, really, really wanted.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

My wife Anne and I just got home from the latest edition of the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Exposition (“C2E2″), a three-day extravaganza of comic books, actors, creators, toys, props, publishers, freebies, Funko Pops, anime we don’t recognize, and walking and walking and walking and walking. We were undecided for months because this year it was scheduled the same weekend as one of our hometown shows, Indy Pop Con. Ultimately Chicago lured us back…

…not just with actors, but with their promise of comics! Lots and lots of funnybooks and graphic storytelling narratives for all ages, temperaments, and cliques. C2E2 consistently has the best Artists Alley of all the cons we attend regularly. Though the pandemic reduced their ranks a tad even for a while after the vaccines came around, this year’s lineup felt like its strongest in years. The Windy City once again welcomed hundreds of creators to the festivities — a mix of returnees and new faces, pros and wannabes, purveyors of handicrafts and sellers of reading matter. Longtime MCC readers know the latter is always my primary objective. It’d been a while since my last major book-spree. I’d missed the splurging.

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C2E2 2024 Photos, Part 3 of 5: Actors!

Us doing jazz hands with Mads Mikkelsen! He wears a gray cap. I crouched down to Anne's height, so he leaned down to meet us there.

Hey, kids! It’s Mads Mikkelsen!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

My wife Anne and I just got home from the latest edition of the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Exposition (“C2E2″), a three-day extravaganza of comic books, actors, creators, toys, props, publishers, freebies, Funko Pops, anime we don’t recognize, and walking and walking and walking and walking. We were undecided for months because this year it was scheduled the same weekend as one of our hometown shows, Indy Pop Con. Ultimately Chicago lured us back…

…where they brought in new actors for us to see in person from stuff we’ve watched!

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C2E2 2024 Photos, Part 2 of 5: Saturday Cosplay!

Two characters from Fallout video games: happy blonde mascot boy who gives everything a thumbs-up, and one-wheeled robot with no head and a black-and-white TV in its chest.

Fallout-mania is sweeping the nation, and Vault Boy and Yes Man are here for it!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

My wife Anne and I just got home from the latest edition of the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Exposition (“C2E2″), a three-day extravaganza of comic books, actors, creators, toys, props, publishers, freebies, Funko Pops, anime we don’t recognize, and walking and walking and walking and walking. We were undecided for months because this year it was scheduled the same weekend as one of our hometown shows, Indy Pop Con. Ultimately Chicago lured us back…

…and we took more cosplay pics! Please enjoy one more gallery of cosplayers who brightened our second day around the show floor. We regret we can only represent a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the total cosplay wonderment that was on display this weekend. We’re clearly not professional photographers, journalists, costume designers, or Oscars red carpet commentators. We’re just an aging geek couple doing what we can for happy sharing fun. Please feel free to identify any characters we failed at recognizing!

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