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Comic Book Company Resurrection Scorecard, Part 1 of 2: the Valiant Return of Valiant

June 26, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Two months ago at the third annual C2E2 comics/entertainment convention in Chicago, I had the pleasure of attending separate panels celebrating the return of two different comic book publishers that collapsed in previous decades. Each company had a comeback plan, an experienced staff, and creators ready and willing to create. I didn’t write about my experience at the time for a few weird reasons, even when I shared my C2E2 photos with friends, but I’ve kept it in mind as I’ve followed up on their respective results.

Of the two panels, Valiant Comics drew the better attendance. Back in the ’90s, while Image Comics stole the spotlight with superstar artists and characters made of action lines, Valiant offered a more writer-driven approach and built a large following over time through rock-solid storytelling fundamentals and consistent new material every month. That was my understanding, anyway. I avoided Valiant during its prime because every book I flipped through looked pedestrian. (As opposed to Image, where so much looked exciting but read pedestrian.) In its later years I jumped aboard for the Kurt Busiek/Neil Vokes revamp of Ninjak, Fabian Nicieza’s Troublemakers, and the ultimate buddy-hero odd-couple series, Christopher Priest and Mark Bright’s funny-cerebral Quantum and Woody. Naturally, as soon as I became a fan of Valiant, Acclaim Entertainment bought the company and dragged it into the grave when it filed for bankruptcy.

Valiant has shed the Acclaim label and returned to the living with the intent to reboot and make up for lost time. Left to right at the panel were: our humble moderator; Chief Creative Officer Dinesh Shamdasani; X-O Manowar writer Robert Venditti (co-creator of comic-turned-Bruce Willis flick The Surrogates, who was very gracious at their exhibit booth — he came out from behind the table and offered to autograph my Valiant Sampler before I realized who he even was); Executive Editor Warren Simons (formerly of Marvel); and Publisher Fred Pierce (a previous Valiant VP). Also present but out of camera range was Assistant Editor Josh Johns.

C2E2 2012 Valiant Panel

Much of the panel was devoted to projection-screen previews of their first four titles, all of which looked fantastic on screen but will understandably be printed at less grandiose comic-book size in the final product. I’m not the intended audience for some of their plans, such as smartphone interactivity, variant covers and eventual crossovers, but I did understand their decision to set their titles at an initial price point of $3.99 per issue. I wasn’t the other guy in the audience booing them about it. I figured booing the inevitable crossovers wouldn’t change their minds, so I kept it to myself. If they’re too pervasive or catch me in the wrong mood, I reserve the right to abandon ship immediately.

Their launch title, the new X-O Manowar, began in May. For the sake of comparison and for a great price, at C2E2 I also found a bargain-bin copy of an old trade paperback reprinting the first four issues of the original version. Venditti’s new version is paced more deliberately — by the end of issue #2, our hero Aric has just now donned the alien exoskeleton that will allow him to become the one true protagonist. In the original version’s first issue alone, Aric had already been kidnapped from his backwater point of origin, acquired the suit, escaped his alien captors, relocated to the strange new world of present-day Earth, and befriended his first supporting character. His grasp of English was’t up to kindergarten level yet, but he was working on it. The written-for-the-trade approach to today’s version does allow artist Cary Nord more room to show off, with grand visions of attacking armies and alien ship environments and such. (By comparison, maybe it’s cruel hindsight or poor printing to blame, but the original X-O art appears to be Barry Windsor-Smith on rushed, cramped autopilot.) I did, though, have to raise at an eyebrow at a scene where our powerless, atrophied, crippled hero somehow dodged a healthily wielded point-blank laser despite years of incarceration. This still has a way to go, but I’m curious enough to keep tabs on it for the time being.

Their second title, Harbinger, began this month with a disturbing sort of cat-and-mouse game between Toyo Harada, evil businessman with abnormal history, and an amoral runaway teen with mind-control powers and a deadbeat best friend who’ll doubtlessly make everything worse. It’s more engaging than I can make it sound. Writer Joshua Dysart last impressed on the DC/Vertigo title Unknown Soldier (setting aside the revenge-fantasy aspect that grew too disturbing for me after a while) and builds up a great start with artist Khari Evans (from Image’s Carbon Grey), portraying what it’s like for a telepath whose powers are constantly on, and who finds it hard to resist the temptation to abuse his talents for selfish, young-stupid-male gain. So far I’m on board, albeit without knowing how this stacks up against the original Harbinger, whatever it was about. I assume there were super-powers.

Two more titles arrive later this summer: July will bring the revamped mercenary Bloodshot, which Warren Simons described as being “like a house on fire, and the house is rolling down a hill, and it’s filled with dynamite.” Count on explosions, then. And I have to wait until August for the new Archer & Armstrong from Fred van Lente, co-creator of the wondrous Action Philosophers! and former co-writer of the once-divine Incredible Hercules. Van Lente’s name alone was enough to guarantee my purchase, even though the first issue promises to have at least four different covers by series artist Clayton Henry, David Aja, Mico Suayan, and The Neal Adams. A preview of the first five pages is now online, but I dislike reading previews of comics I already know I’ll be buying.

The promo art at C2E2 also teased the return of other old characters like Rai and the Eternal Warrior, but Valiant is taking their time with their world-building instead of releasing fifty-two new series at once and waiting to count the casualties. June figures are obviously not in yet, but the May sales for X-O Manowar #1 estimate a healthy 42,700 copies, which in these days of our waning hobby is positively gargantuan for anything not Marvel, DC, or The Walking Dead.

I look forward to seeing future results, unless Valiant becomes all about crossovers, crossovers, crossovers. I might even forgive that if a cataclysmic in-story event can serve somehow to bring back Quantum and Woody, and their little goat, too. I’d pay at least a good $4.99 for that.

The Only Four Titles That Still Connect Me to DC’s New-52 Universe

June 21, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I was fourteen when DC revamped its entire universe in the wake of Crisis on Infinite Earths. I was impressed that a major comic book company would be willing to toss out decades of continuity and start anew for younger readers like me who had no use for the imaginary stories of the Silver Age and thought that the doldrums of pre-Crisis DC paled compared to Marvel’s output at the time. John Byrne’s Superman and Action Comics, Frank Miller’s “Batman: Year One”, George Perez’ Greek-myth-infused Wonder Woman, and Mike Baron’s Flash were all right up my alley and frequently atop my reading pile.

Twenty-six years later, DC has cycled back around, but now I’m on the other end of the demographic scale. Other than lingering, festering, unwholesome bitterness at the unnecessary cancellations of Secret Six and Xombi, I don’t begrudge them their willingness to indulge in the tremendous gamble of reinventing the wheel for whatever generation replaces me, if one is duly willing to do so. In the spirit of renewal and multiple second chances, in September 2011 I generously ignored my monthly comics budget and tried eighteen of the New 52 series, all while holding fast to other companies’ output as well. Needless to say, that was an expensive month for me, even after rejecting DC’s other thirty-four new titles outright for myriad reasons.

Ten months later, I’m now following just four DC titles.

The winners are:

1. Demon Knights. I miss Paul Cornell’s lively Captain Britain and MI-13. This isn’t too distant a cousin — both are teams of disparate British super-personalities united for one cause, resulting in strange bedfellows, encountering explosive action, and inclusively allowing one Muslim member. Instead of present-day Marvel, our setting is DC of the Middle Ages, home of old characters Madame Xanadu, the Demon Etrigan, Grant Morrison’s Seven Soldiers version of the Shining Knight, and Vandal Savage. Tagging along are new characters Exoristos (an Amazon in exile), the Horsewoman (great with a bow, but cursed to remain forever seated atop her trusty steed), and Al Jabr (the afore-mentioned Muslim, fighter and hoarder of the more whimsical dialogue). Besides Cornell at the helm, its other distinguishing quality is that its time period makes it virtually crossover-proof. For me, this is key.

2. Dial H. The best of the New 52’s second wave that launched in the spring after eight underperformers were escorted off the premises after eight issues. The original Robby Reed version of “Dial H for Hero” was years before my birth, but as a kid I was a huge fan of the Chris King/Vicki Grant incarnation that ran in Adventure Comics (and was later relegated to ignominous backup status in The New Adventures of Superboy). As promised by the ad tagline, “The Hero Who Could Be YOU!” Robby’s successor dial-bearers turned into heroes created by Us, the Readers at Home, without benefit of complicated work-for-hire contracts. I didn’t care for the later New Teen Titans story that turned Vicki evil, but I was largely pleased with Will Pfeifer’s 2003 H.E.R.O. reboot, even if it was underrated and bypassed both Chris and Vicki. Alas, the closest thing for today’s consumers for some time has been Ben 10, whose own Omnitrix and resulting army of do-gooders owes a massive creative debit to the H-dials.

When DC announced the return of the concept at the hands of acclaimed author China Mieville, I was on board immediately. Admittedly, I haven’t read any of his novels in full yet (two of them are on my enormous reading pile), but the samples I’ve read were convincing enough. So far it’s spooky and very much off-the-wall, but I’m hoping the constraints of the dial’s current form as an archaic phone booth are only temporary. If dumpy protagonist Nelson Jent has to take a cab to the same magical phone booth’s deserted alley location at the beginning of every single issue, this may grow repetitive quickly, despite the outlandish single-use heroes popping out of every issue. (I’m sure I would pay good money for a Rancid Ninja one-shot.)

3. The Shade. Not strictly a New 52 title, this twelve-issue maxiseries began in the New 52’s second month, but could very easily be set in the previous timeline for all we know. I’m following along as a former big fan of James Robinson’s classic 1990s Starman series, hoping for glimmers of that old Jack Knight magic, but not yet 100% reveling in it, as the ex-Starman is still in permanent retirement and Robinson isn’t the same writer he was a decade ago. He arguably shouldn’t be, but I’m not in the same place I was, either. Somehow reader and writer aren’t quite as in synch as before. It doesn’t help that the capriciousness with which the Shade has changed alignment over the years as needs and continuity dictated hasn’t endeared him to me as a main character, largely because I can’t remember in which eras he was evil, and in which eras he eased down on the murdering. The guest-starring new heroes from other countries have been creative, so there’s that.

4. Batman Inc. Also a second-wave title; also not really in the New 52 timeline. Clearly these criteria really spoke to me.

I only sporadically followed Grant Morrison’s lengthy Batman run, so I’m ignorant of half the details of his long-running Leviathan storyline, and forgotten most of the other half. Throwing nuance and Easter eggs entirely to the wind, all I know is I enjoy seeing Batman’s exotic analogs in action, I find Damien to be irritating and entertaining at the same time, and I like watching artist Chris Burnham as he tries to keep up with Morrison’s scripts, with overall impressive results.

* * * * *

Setting aside other imprints, that’s my entire monthly DC list for the moment. My capsule reviews of my first round of New 52 sampling are buried elsewhere online, but ten months into the relaunch, I’ve allowed all other contenders to fall by the wayside as a result of the following misdemeanors:

The reboot paled before a previous incarnation that I truly, vastly preferred: Blue Beetle; Fury of Firestorm, the Nuclear Men; Static Shock; Stormwatch.

Unlikable main characters: Batwoman; Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E.; Red Hood and the Outlaws.

Heroes weren’t quite awesome enough to overcome how much I actively disliked their villains: Resurrection Man, Swamp Thing.

Artwork went to the dogs: All-Star Western.

I didn’t quit; DC canceled it out from under me: OMAC.

Quit because of crossovers, regardless of quality: Animal Man, Batgirl, Batman, Justice League Dark, Nightwing, Superboy. (Seriously: not in the mood. At all.)

Again: in general I’m not as bitter as the average over-40 message-board troll. DC desires an audience that doesn’t necessarily want what I want. I wish them well with that. I’m not out of comics to read yet. And I’m perfectly willing to revisit the New 52 as creative teams change in the future, such as when possible rising star Matt Kindt takes over Frankenstein. I may also check out Christy Marx’s new take on Amethyst (sometimes I do love odd choices) that will be one of several third-wave titles to emerge from the September Zero Hour rehash event.

For now, though, this is where I’m at. Also, I have one question I don’t think they’ve seriously considered:

How does the Horsewoman go to the bathroom?

Two Panels to Show Why “Journey into Mystery” is My Favorite Marvel Series

June 18, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

The Marvel’s The Avengers film series may have turned Thor’s half-brother Loki into a sinister household name (beyond those households who knew a thing or two about preexisting Norse myths, anyway), but in my book the eminently watchable Tom Hiddleston takes a back seat to my favorite Loki of the moment, the young reincarnated star of Marvel’s Journey into Mystery.

After the events of the 2010 major crossover event Siege, Loki was dead and gone after one final, uncharacteristically heroic act. As one would expect from Norse gods and their closest family, this condition was temporary. Through machinations of his own, Loki was quickly reincarnated. Through machinations not of his own, his new form is a younger, more naive version of himself with no magic power and no memory of the pain and suffering that his past self’s countless treacheries have inflicted upon others over the years. Kid Loki has spent his new life in a series of misadventures, saving lives, worlds, and entire Marvel crossovers through his uncanny knack for duplicity and shrewd deal-brokering for the greater good, despite the fact that no one trusts him and too many would love an excuse to kill him again.

In the current status quo, Kid Loki is now in the service of the triumvirate of All-Mothers who rule earthbound Asgard while Odin is occupied elsewhere. Along with him for his escapades is Leah, servant of Hela, who’s close to li’l Loki’s age, has magic power a-plenty, and pretends to hate his guts even while she reluctantly ensures his continued survival. Watching over his shoulder is an Asgardian blackbird named Ikol, who acts as an enigmatic, disturbing sort of Jiminy Cricket. Occasionally there’s also Loki’s li’l puppy Thori, a mixed-breed hellhound/Hel Wolf who breathes fire, speaks entirely in Grand Guignol death threats, and is as cute as a button.

The latest arc, which just began this month, tasks Loki with a trip to England to assist its current pantheon against an invasion from a new would-be pantheon called the Manchester Gods, who exist as enormous walking cities (think Howl’s Moving Castle) that draw believers to them and away from their previous beliefs. What seems by my crude American understanding to be a fun riff on intense soccer fandom begins with Loki and Leah journeying at the All-Mothers’ request as a godly covert-ops team to assist the elder British powers behind the scenes while Asgard’s public rulers pretend to follow the Prime Directive and abstain from direct meddling.

Their arrival is England happens like so:

Herne the Hunter waits patiently for his prey. I mean, passenger.

I’m a big fan of Kid Loki’s merry sense of adventure and unbridled optimism, staples of the series under the guidance of writer Kieron Gillen (whose creator-owned Phonogram was epic and whose first Marvel series S.W.O.R.D. was unfairly kneecapped) and artist Rich Elson (with the occasional guest artist). With mythic grandeur undercut by frequent bouts of sharp wit, Loki’s crew traipses across dimensions, infiltrates the realms of dreams in a respectable homage to Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, and even makes Marvel events like 2011’s Fear Itself more enjoyable by filling in their much-appreciated backstory. (If you wanted to know why Odin’s brother the Serpent was subjugating superhumans and laying waste to Earth, nowhere but in Journey into Mystery were we offered keen insight as to just why.)

For certifiable proof of how attached I am to this series, I can add only this: “Exiled”, the recently completed multi-part crossover that JiM shared with New Mutants, will be the only crossover I read in full this year. I bought and enjoyed every chapter even though I’ve avoided X-Men titles for years. I’ve dropped some Big Two titles as a result of crossovers, and intentionally skipped chapters of other crossovers on similar fussbudget principle. Only “Exiled” earned a pass from me as I grow weary of such needless marketing complications, because I suspected it would raise the bar. When it instilled new relevance into the lost myth of Sigurd and wrapped up the tragic arc of the man-hating undead Disir, I loved seeing my hunch pay off.

In the wake of Siege, all throughout Fear Itself, and on into “Exiled”, Journey into Mystery proved itself so exceptional at what it does, its magic touch makes any other comic next to it even better.

Help Fund “The Garlicks” on Kickstarter, and Famous Comics Writer Will Eat Bug

June 15, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Not a joke headline! Not a hoax! Not a dream! Not an imaginary story! Fans of entomophagy, lend me your ears!

The Garlicks: Pandora Orange, Fail Vampire promises to be yet another fun romp of a graphic novel/webcomic from writer/artist Lea Hernandez, previously seen on such past projects as Killer Princesses (with Gail Simone) and Clockwork Angels. The official Kickstarter campaign page describes the all-ages story much more lucidly than I could hope to, but it centers around a young girl named Pandora Orange who fails at vampirism and decides to create comics instead. Imagine the fame and fortune to be had if only she could learn to juggle both, but suffice it to say hijinks will ensue with a colorful cast of characters and none of the doom or gloom that permeate 90% of what’s on comic shop shelves today.

With only five frantic days until the Dreaded Deadline Doom, the campaign has amassed a little over 25% of its funding goal. To sweeten the pot above and beyond the generous rewards Hernandez has already offered, one of my longtime favorite comics writers, Kurt Busiek (creator of things I’ve really truly liked such as Astro City, Thunderbolts, and The Liberty Project, in addition to splendid Marvel works such as Marvels and Untold Tales of Spider-Man) has now stated for the record that if the reading public makes The Garlicks a reality, he will personally ingest one (1) bug. No details have been forthcoming regarding species, condiments, or broadcast rights to this once-in-a-lifetime event.

Here’s that link one more time if you’d love to see Kurt Busiek, co-creator of Marvel’s Triathlon and one-time writer of Night Thrasher, to ingest an insect for art’s sake. Better yet, if you have a friend of a friend who happens to be a trust-fund-raised one-percenter with a million dollars just lying around, do the medium a favor and persuade them to help bring Pandora Orange to life and give current Kickstarter comics-projects record-holder Rich Burlew a run for his title!

(Please be warned: if this project is unsuccessful, I hear Sarah McLachlan will record a depressing, doe-eyed new TV commercial in support of bug adoption charities. No one wants to see that, now do they?)

* * * * *

Department of Full Disclosure:

1. I’ve been an official Supporter of The Garlicks since before the threat of bug-eating made it cool. I’ve become a modest Kickstarter junkie over the past several months, donating here and there to several different projects varying in quality from very-promising to obviously-awesome-even-before-completion. I could quit the habit anytime I wanted if talented people would stop using it.

2. I still cherish the warm memory of a 1999 Usenet incident in which Hernandez and I wound up on the same side in a heated debate over whether or not strollers should be permitted at conventions. Good times.

Adventurous “Snarked!” Deftly Reboots Walrus, Carpenter Despite Objections from Bitter, Bedraggled Lewis Carroll

June 2, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Without mentioning either Wonderland or that pesky Alice, Roger Langridge’s Snarked! breathes new personality into peripheral characters from Lewis Carroll’s famous works, including but not limited to the two that have been most adapted to death. For once, the spotlight shines away from li’l blond whatshername and her complaints about nonsensical hallucinations.

Wilberforce J. Walrus is a schemer always on the prowl for free food and fortune. His old pal the Carpenter, now named Clyde McDunk in this post-Crisis continuity, is his partner in mischief because he doesn’t know any better. Imagine the mismatched duo of J. Wellington Wimpy and Lennie Small, if you will. The two hapless friends find themselves in over their heads when adventure comes a-calling in the form of the Red King’s young children, plucky Queen Scarlett and toddler Prince Rusty. The royal advisors are staging a coup, and Walrus and McDunk are the only ones who can help the royal kids find their lost father, who’s been spirited away to *gasp!* treacherous Snark Island.

Our recurring cast includes the Bellman from “The Hunting of the Snark” (now a ship’s captain missing some of his marbles), the annoying and unhelpful Cheshire Cat (worse than any given Watcher or Observer), and Our Heroes’ most relentless arch-nemesis the Gryphon, an intimidating mercenary employed by the bad guys but failing at every turn to recapture those meddling kids. Previous issues also refit the White Knight as a kindly puppeteer, the mad Tea Party attendees as pretty lousy pirates, and treacle as something worth eating.

Published under the BOOM! Studios kiddie imprint called kaBOOM, Snarked! is by no means watered down for preliterate wee ones. This frequently disadvantaged duo engage monsters and henchmen alike in the rollicking spirit of Floyd Gottfredson’s Mickey Mouse adventure strips, with the zeal of Carl Barks and the best rhyming narration since Sergio Aragonés’ Groo the Wanderer. Roger Langridge already proved with his twelve issues of BOOM!’s erstwhile Muppet Show series that he can alternate between slapstick and arcane literary references with enviable ease, so I had no reservations giving this a try, even if some of the references are flying over my head uncaught. (I like how one ostensibly young reader put it in the lettercolumn to #7: “Every time I read Snarked!, I need to have a dictionary handy. Sadly, all I have is one for Scrabble players.”)

I appreciate that my local comic shop has gone above and beyond in ordering a copy of each new issue for me every month even though I’m not strictly a pull-list customer. #8 is new in stores this week and pits Our Heroes against the enormous Bandersnatch, whom you can be sure is more frumious than ever. Individual issues are available directly from the publisher’s site, including the issue-zero intro that’s only a buck. The first trade collection is available from Amazon now; volume 2 is scheduled for October. If you’re looking for an all-ages action yarn to share with your younger relatives, or to hoard all to yourself while you decode its Easter eggs, Snarked! fills the bill most indubitably.

Comics I’m Not Reading: “Avengers vs. X-Men”

May 24, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I recall a time from the 1980s when it was joked that too many chance encounters between Marvel heroes proceeded in identical fashion. Heroes meet; heroes fight and fight and fight; heroes pause to recuperate and compare notes; heroes team up against the real villain. I’d wager this was the premise of at least 200 of the 250 combined issues of Marvel Two-in-One and the original Marvel Team-Up.

Sure, fans loved debating the old “Who’s stronger?” arguments. Having two heroes meet and fight was a great way for writers to present their position, however skewed the answer would be, depending on whose series was hosting the showdown. After decades of Hulk/Thing and Hulk/Thor cage matches, we still don’t have an ultimate, decisive victor for either comparison, but fans love ’em anyway. They’re like literary sports. Since the teams are different each year, there’s every chance that the game’s outcome will be different than their previous face-off.

I can understand how younger fans might hop aboard the Avengers vs. X-Men company-wide crossover train. Not since Marvel vs. DC/DC vs. Marvel have we seen so many good guys pummeling each other senseless for no-stakes us-vs.-them excitement. That was fifteen years ago, though. Times, heroes, secret identities, continuities, pasts, and artistic preferences have changed. Just because it’s been done before doesn’t mean it deserves to be written off as a retread.

Odds are a small portion of the audience may also have changed. It stands to reason that somewhere out there are a couple of newer fans who missed out on that event and want some hero-boxing to call their own. They wouldn’t be opposed to something more recent, something composed by today’s well-regarded talents, and something a little more imaginative than their local HeroClix tournaments.

Here’s my issue, simply put: I have no vested interest in a large-scale skirmish that is the moral equivalent of policemen versus firefighters. When it comes to teams whose purposes and goals frequently intersect, I’m not interested in knowing which brotherhood is stronger, faster, better, or more awesome. After decades of coexistence, successful team-ups, and countless tragedies in which they’ve mourned each other’s losses together as one big Marvel family, you’d think at least one hero among them would have the common sense to raise a hand, suggest there might be a better way, and prevent a few dozen tie-in issues from taking place.

(I’m generously assuming, of course, that the entire conflict isn’t predicated on a simple, stupid misunderstanding along the lines of every episode of Three’s Company. As every bad writer knows, such misunderstandings are an unstoppable force of nature that no amount of effective communication skills could possibly hope to resolve. Can’t be done, don’t try, and don’t bother blurting out the plain truth, because making things even more awkward and excruciating is always the nobler way to go.)

(While I’m thinking parenthetically: this setup has given me one horrid mental image I can’t shake. Imagine if a bevy of surviving 9/11 responders were conscripted into the Hunger Games. Whee?)

As it is, I’m already inundated with all the us-vs.-them stories I can handle. They’re called “the news”. I can read real-life tales every day of good people in heated disputes with other good people over what “good” should look like. Most of the combatants wouldn’t consider themselves evil, but they’re fairly certain the other side is. At the very least, the other side’s sheep are the unwitting, helpless pawns of Big Evil. I have no doubt this is true in select cases, but good luck persuading both sides to agree on which cases. I don’t enjoy watching, nor do I seek out allegories of same, intentional or otherwise.

I firmly believe the writers and artists involved in this project are talented folks. I’ve bought works by most of them, and hope to buy more in the future. In this case, I don’t care who’s responsible or what the premise is. They lost me at the title, and kept me fenced out when the Big Picture was revealed as a widespread crossover. Ten times the story I’d prefer not to read is still a story I’d prefer not to read.

Even allowing that AvX might be intended as nothing more than mindless, literary sports, it’s worth noting that I generally don’t like sports, either. Gave up my man card years ago over that.

Worst thing about all this: when it’s over at long last and the rubble has settled, I bet we still won’t know which team is stronger.

Tomorrow’s Publishers Mine Yesterday’s Concepts for Today’s Freebies (FCBD, Part 3 of 3)

May 11, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Thus the trilogy concludes:

Donald Duck Family Comics (Fantagraphics) — After previous stints with Gladstone, Hamilton, and BOOM!, Disney relocates their American reprint license once more. Fortunately Fantagraphics knows a thing or two about quality reprints. The FCBD trial offer is a satisfying dose of Carl Barks’ classic Duck stories for the next generation. Funnier than Archie, more inventive than Harvey Comics, frequently smarter than the super-heroes of their time — Barks’ works deserve perpetual reintroduction to every incoming class of freshman comics fans.

Green Lantern/Young Justice Super Sampler/Superman Family Adventures Flipbook (DC Comics) — Art Baltazar and Franco, the minds behind Tiny Titans, open Side A with a done-in-one Hal Jordan tale that’s a basic fight scene with an oooooold foe name Myrwhydden, who’s like Mr Mxyzptlk minus pranks. At least it’s a complete story, unlike the other two shorts: a five-page Young Justice excerpt pitting them against burglars who can’t hit a target point-blank with a semiautomatic; and a five-page excerpt from a Baltazar/Franco Clark/Lois/Jimmy story for kids. The Young Justice show is in a bad time slot for me, and I’ve no interest in the new GL cartoon (viewed superficially from outside, it seems to turn the Lantern factions into squabbling space gangs), but I appreciate what they’re doing in the comics versions for wee would-be readers.

The Infernal Devices: Clockwork Angel (Yen Press) — Manga about a stupid girl who follows the orders of complete strangers and can’t believe it when they bring her a world of hurt. She finds surprise accompaniment in a fellow captive who’s fortunately a homicide detective. Also, she can shape-shift into another girl. Walking into this blindly, I lost out on any nuance and was disappointed in the naive protagonist. If you know the names Cassandra Clare or The Mortal Instruments, some or all of this may mean much more to you.

Worlds of Aspen 2012 (Aspen) — The lead feature, Homecoming, is about a teenage boy whose life changes when a naked space blonde appears in his shower, aliens smash up his school, and his best friends receive super-powers that leave them deformed but happy. He’s the perfect Mary Sue for the book’s intended audience. Also enclosed are promo pinups of breasts and characters from other series, as well as a preview of a genuinely promising new series called Idolized with surprising emotional heft to its superhero-reality-show premise. Despite the decompressed storytelling, it may be worth monitoring.

The New 52 #1 (DC Comics) — A vivid sampler of appealing, professional artwork from several upcoming titles. Then I went back and read all the word balloons, and now I’m bewildered, lost, and not the least bit curious about what happens in any of them except China Mieville’s Dial H, the first issue of which I already picked up last Wednesday. The thrust of the book seems to be heroes pounding on heroes, not terribly dissimilar from Marvel’s own Avengers vs. X-Men crossover event of 2012, which I’m equally not reading. If you like Justice League pinups in which they attack each other instead of any bad guys, here some are. Personally, I lament a comic universe where every hero’s Rogues Gallery is simply a list of all the other heroes.

Intrinsic #1 (Arcana Comics) — Chapter one of the company’s major summer crossover event that will feature prominently in over two dozen different Arcana series, costar potentially hundreds of Arcana characters past and present, and change many an Arcana life forever. And I don’t recognize a single one of them, except possibly one series called Scrooge and Santa that may or may not be what its name implies. This reminds me of the comics I created in junior high that starred lots of my own super-creations, who had adventures cloned from my favorite comics. Each of my many characters meant something to me, but it’s hard to imagine anyone outside my own head appreciating them, their crude artwork, or their derivative nature.

Zombie Kid (Antarctic Press) — A send-up of Diary of A Wimpy Kid whose title tells you everything else you need to know. All the jokes should write themselves. Alas, if only they had, perhaps I might have finished reading this.

Select highlights from the companies whose offerings I failed to pick up:

Marvel’s selections. I procrastinated them at our first two stops, then forgot all about them at the third stop, which was nearly out of everything and put on their game face by restocking their freebie table with leftovers from previous FCBDs. If anyone needs a copy of 2010’s Shrek FCBD comic, I know a place that will hook you up.

The Valiant relaunch. I assumed (wrongly? No idea) that the contents were identical to the Valiant 2012 Sampler that I previously picked up from their C2E2 booth. X-O Manowar writer Robert Venditti cheerfully autographed my copy before I could figure out who he was.

The free Mouse Guard hardcover. How was I supposed to know that all those stacks of 48-page hardcovers were free? Seriously, though? Who gives away hardcovers? They can’t possibly be generous and shrewd, so I can only assume they’re mad.

Barnaby and Mr. O’Malley. I’d normally brake for Crockett Johnson (better known to normal folks as creator of the original, delightful Harold and the Purple Crayon books), especially under the Fantagraphics name, but I shamed myself by somehow not grabbing this at my first stop. Sure enough, the other two stores hadn’t bothered to order it. My loss.

Barry Sonnenfeld’s Dinosaurs vs. Aliens Written by Grant Morrison. Um. Er. I see. For now, pass.

Hey, Kids! Free Comics! Ask Your Parents What Those Are! (FCBD Results, Part 2 of 3)

May 8, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Continuing my look at comics publishers’ attempts to lure new readers into their white vans on Free Comic Book Day 2012. For historical purposes, my previous years’ FCBD reviews can be found online for 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011. The fun part is seeing which past participants are no longer in business.

Onward with more entries from this year:

Yo Gabba Gabba! (Oni Press) — Never seen the show. I haven’t kept up on today’s kid-TV because my son’s era ended right before Steve Burns exited Blue’s Clues and caused the show to jump the shark. From the cover alone, I expected this to be a two-minute shot of toddler-fodder that I’d later pawn off on one of my nephews’ Christmas stockings. Then I opened the cover and was ambushed by names I recognize and respect such as Michael Allred (Madman), Evan Dorkin (Milk and Cheese), and Sarah Dyer (Mrs. Dorkin). Three of the stories teach lessons to tiny children in cute, Dadaist ways that I’d happily share with my tykes if I ever planned to have any more. The fourth story, by Dorkin and Dyer, stars one Super-Martian-Robot-Girl, with whom this is my first encounter. It’s exactly the kind of quality irreverent hijinks I’ve come to expect from the two of them. Google tells me this is not an isolated incident. Now I want more more more more MORE because it will fill the void in my heart left by missing issues of Dorkin’s Pirate Corp$ that I was never able to track down. My nephews will have to go buy their own copies on eBay.

The Hypernaturals (BOOM! Studios) — Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, writers of several of Marvel’s cosmic-themed titles from recent years, set out to create their own mythos. In a future where the remnants of humanity are ruled by an unseen all-powerful AI, former members of their premier super-hero team look askance at their successors, embarking on their inaugural mission and at first glance not faring well. The whys and wherefores of this new future are left unexplained from the start, but the tantalizing glimmers of imagination and tragedy hint at grander sights ahead. This one might bear watching when it launches in July.

Image Twenty (Image Comics) — The proud independent celebrates two decades of success with samplers of six new series. Quickly run down: G-Man is normally fun all-ages fare, less appealing when it takes itself seriously; Guarding the Globe is a super-hero spinoff from a series I stopped reading years ago (though I do dig Todd Nauck’s art here); Crime and Terror, from the creator of 30 Days of Night, is essentially a one-page EC tale ballooned out to fill four; Revival seems promisingly spooky, about a resurgence of various undead species; It-Girl and the Atomics is a continuation of Michael Allred’s quirky super-hero team by other talented hands (so far, so good); and Near Death, whose series I’m already following, is not-bad crime drama about a former L.A. hitman trying to save lives as atonement for all his past victims. Overall, the batting average is favorable, as has been the case for much of Image’s output of late.

Transformers: Regeneration One #80.5 (IDW Publishing) — A lengthy text piece inside the front cover helpfully explains the odd title and numbering. The creative team of Marvel’s original Transformers series have now reunited to pick up where they left off 21 years ago. Several flashbacks succinctly sum up What Has Gone Before — i.e., there were these alien warrior robots who were supposed to be friends, but then they fought and fought and fought, but then the good robots won, but now some leftover evil robots want a piece of them. This sounds dismal, but it’s rather efficient and less vertiginous than the recent films. The new settings and characters are up and running in short order along with some old familiar faces, and the vague cliffhanger ending may entice the average robot-loving boys to want more. Glory days might be theirs once more if the team can recapture the 70,000 fans who were still aboard when the original series ended due to what was considered “low sales” in the 1980s. By today’s standards, 70K would place them squarely in Diamond’s Top 10 charts and easily merit half a dozen redundant spinoffs.

Finding Gossamyr/The Stuff of Legend Flipbook (Th3rd World Studios) — Side A is another entry in the burgeoning young subgenre of malfunctioning-child-math-savant sci-fi. A young woman forced to care for her “special” little brother signs him over to an evil boarding school who enlist him to solve an evil equation that will open a doorway to evil aliens from beyond. That sounded silly while typing it, but the brother and sister are introduced with heart, depth, and digital art that pops nicely in a faux-animated way. Side B is another FCBD alumnus best described as “Toy Story Goes to Narnia”. The short sample is an argument between two characters about their past failures that might be better appreciated if you’ve read the full tales of said calamities instead of just a summary. I’m guessing, anyway.

Bad Medicine (Oni Press) — Fringe minus familiar characters and alternate settings. Mostly harmless.

My Favorite Martian (Hermes Press) — A new publisher plans to reprint Gold Key Comics from the ’50s and ’60s such as Dark Shadows, The Phantom, and this one based on Ray Walston’s “classic” TV show about a one-alien sleeper cell conducting secret experiments and failing at exfiltration. Fans my age might appreciate seeing long-lost art from the underrated Dan Spiegle, but I get the impression their target audience is fans twice my age. I’ve never endured a full episode, but my wife promises it’s no My Mother, the Car. To its credit, unlike much of the FCBD competition, this is a complete done-in-one story, benign if poorly aged.

To be concluded!

New Readers: Threat or Menace? (FCBD Results, Part 1 of 3)

May 7, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Free Comic Book Day 2012 was hectic yet rewarding. My wife and I enjoyed our annual routine, purchasing items at three different stores and assembling a review pile to see if today’s publishers, old or upstart, like new readers. The second half of the day was Marvel’s The Avengers and subsequent family discussion group over dinner. And Sunday went as our Sundays go.

This means I’m only through one-third of the pile. The results so far:

Atomic Robo/Neozoic/Bonnie Lass (Red 5 Comics) — Atomic Robo is no stranger to FCBD, and here outdoes himself in a team-up with his arch-nemesis, the intelligent and stupid Dr. Dinosaur, in a tale of impossible biomechanical evolution, the Hadron Collider, and saving the day with spreadsheets. Full disclosure: any and all Atomic Robo comics are fun science adventure worth the admission fee.

Of the other two stories, I faintly recall Neozoic as another FCBD vet, but I don’t remember their previous installment(s). The sample resembles Terra Nova with a sword, some ESP, and unexplained backstory that kept the plot in the dark. I have no idea, for instance, why one character wallops another with a triceratops head. Bonnie Lass explains its pirate-based plot, but not its characters or an explanation for the inclusion of elevators and interrogation rooms in its settings. Extra points lost for misspelling “breach” as “breech” at a crucial moment, to considerable amusement on my part.

Bongo Comics Free-for-All 2012/Spongebob Squarepants Flipbook (Bongo Comics/United Plankton Pictures Comics) — Select reprints from Simpsons Comics are a FCBD staple, but this is their first time sharing their space with squatters. The just-okay lead story is Homer, Lenny, and Carl forming a bear patrol; its backup is a great non-Simpsons autobiographical Sergio Aragonés tale about his first earnings as an artist in third grade. On the other side of the flipbook, the inimitable Mr. SquarePants ably multitasks, reading an adventure of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (not the same without the voices of Ernest Borgnine and Tim Conway) while annoying Squidward at the same time. Indie comics fans might also dig the single page of gags by the unique James Kochalka. In all, SpongeBob fans will be more content with this flipbook than Simpsons fans, but Aragonés fans are the true winners.

Top Shelf Kids Club (Top Shelf Publishing) — Six original black-‘n’-white done-in-one tales for kids by unusual talents. Best of show are Andy Runton’s whimsical Owly (whose volumes are a staple of the 741.5 kids’ section at my local library), James Kochalka (him again!), and Savage Dragon letter Chris Eliopolous, whose “Okie Dokie Donuts” finally gives kids the ultimate role model — a strong-willed woman who owns and defends a donut shop. Kids who like comics and don’t require super-heroes would do well to have a copy of this sampler in their li’l mitts, provided they don’t freak out at the lack of color. Invite them to add their own.

Star Wars/Serenity Flipbook (Dark Horse Comics) — Joss Whedon’s brother Zack writes one short story for each galaxy about spacefaring scalawags having deals go wrong on them — Han and Chewie in one, Mal and River in the other. Quick and simple enough for casual readers, and agreeable fluff for longtime fans of either, though the Serenity voices didn’t sound twangy enough to me.

Buffy/The Guild Flipbook (Dark Horse Comics) — The Buffy tale is set during Season 9 and will make no sense to any Buffy TV fans who’ve never picked up a Season 8 or 9 comic before now. (Why are they in space? Why is Spike commanding bugs? What’s a zompire? How the heck did that surprise guest-starring movie creature happen?) My dedication to Season 9 has been wavering of late, so I found this inessential. The Guild, on the other hand, was in top form as usual, failing hilariously at spending quality time together at the beach. I can totally relate to such anti-outdoors awkwardness. Again, though, if you’re not a preexisting fan, I’m not sure their reactions will mean much to you. (Tinkerballa is never even named in the story.)

As a reward to FCBD completists, picking up both Dark Horse FCBD offerings gave you a “complete” four-page story starring Caitlin Kiernan and Steve Lieber’s Alabaster. It’s complete in the sense that it has a beginning, middle, and end. After four pages of small talk with a bridge troll, I still know nothing about the main character except her name and skin tone.

Adventure Time/Peanuts Flipbook (KaBOOM!) — The Peanuts material was released months ago as a standalone one-dollar Peanuts #0 sampler, which I already tried and found to be dumbed-down recycling of Charles Schulz’ original strips by new hands, not unlike the latter-day cartoons. I’m not sure if the same is the case for the Adventure Time shorts. They read like the kind of cutesy, disturbing surrealism that usually finds a home at Fantagraphics. I’ve avoided the Cartoon Network series, but I confess I laughed at this more than once. It’s a rare comic that finds a context for concepts such as bacon-based microorganism housing and fart fairies.

Burt Ward, Boy Wonder/Wrath of the Titans Classic Flipbook (Bluewater Comics) — Side A stars the erstwhile TV Robin, living in peace with his wife and several dogs until he’s sucked into a zany black-and-white future world where Robin fashions are all the rage, newspapers still exist, and Ward’s dialogue keeps avoiding contractions like a formal book report. Side B is an excerpt from a comic-shaped illustrated kiddie prose novel starring Harry Hamlin’s Perseus and our old friend Bubo the chirpy robot owl. Eight-year-olds whose nostalgic parents forced them to watch the original Clash of the Titans will be most pleased to have a sequel to call their own. I don’t imagine that to be a large demographic.

To be continued.

My Geek Demerits #1: No Midnight Showings

May 3, 2012 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

As I write this, millions of hearty moviegoers in the EDT zone are high on anticipation of tonight’s midnight premieres of Marvel’s The Avengers. Part of me wishes I could join the party and stay ahead of the curve on the online chatter and spoilers. Unfortunately, the majority of me has a full-time day job and a finicky attitude toward use of my vacation time. I’m weak like that.

Even if I’d taken the time off, my family would also like to see it, but they aren’t in a position to drop everything and go nocturnal. Sure, I could hit a midnight showing solo and plan my second screening with them at a later, mundane hour. That would be a boon if I love it enough for multiple showings. That worked for Chronicle, but what if something goes wrong? What if the movie is constructed entirely within the framework of the common Joss Whedon motifs of All Fathers Are Monsters, All Corporations Are Evil, and Destroy All Couples, all of which set me on edge? What if I hate it and find myself forcibly sequestered at the shunned contrarian end of the Internet next to Armond White and Cole Smithey?

I shudder to imagine enduring an encore for the sake of family quality time under those circumstances. I’m reminded of my final theatrical viewing of The Phantom Menace, in which I slept through the entire Tatooine sequence, even the podrace, as a defense mechanism. Knowing that I blew actual money on an extra ticket for that avoidable privilege added insult to injury.

Most problematic for me: my body can no longer handle gallivanting around town till 3 a.m. anymore. In my youth, I knew the occasional evening that ended with bedtime after sunrise. Today, retiring at midnight is normal for me (if not for others my age), but if I push too far beyond, the following day is made of regret, stupor, and double the normal assault of old-man muscle aches. Braving those hours of discomfort is not as fun a dare as it used to be.

I’ve had to learn to be patient and resist the temptation. For the sake of recognizing my limitations, I accept my geek demerit and will bide my time till Saturday without grumbling. I wish all the best to those superfans lining up hours ahead of the rest of us to see the best Greatest Film of All Time of the year.

Before you exercise your bragging rights too brashly, keep in mind: if you were a true hardcore Marvel’s The Avengers fan, you would’ve arranged to catch it last week in Australia. Waiting till it’s cordially escorted to your spoiled American front doorstep is weak.

Free Comic Book Day 2012 Invites 300 Million Americans to Crowd into 2000 Remaining Comic Shops

May 2, 2012 By in Comics/Lit Tags: , , , , 1 Comment

My wife and I consider Free Comic Book Day a tradition, an annual date of sorts in which we road-trip around Indianapolis, sample the publishers’ wares, and make extra purchases as a thank-you for each shop’s service to my lifelong hobby. I cross a few items off my trade-paperback want list and pick up a few extra singles, whatever titles I’m missing or curious to sample. She fills the gaps in her own Star Wars collection.

Our 2012 rounds will have a somber tinge to them. Comic Carnival, the oldest chain in town, closed three of its four locations in 2011. One of them was my regular shop back in high school, but had the misfortune of watching the neighborhood around it turn ramshackle over time. One was next to a Wal*Mart and should’ve had plenty of nearby warm bodies to lure inside, if only they were willing to read, or at least buy their Pokemon cards there instead of from the big-box competition. One had just been recently relocated to new digs that I never even had the chance to visit. Given the state of the print market and the precedent set by Borders’ collapse, the closures stunned and unsurprised me at the same time, if that makes any sense. The last Comic Carnival is itself a transplant of their flagship Broad Ripple store, still flying their banner high in a part of town I rarely visit.

Other than them, we’re left with three Downtown Comics locations, Comic Book University (always the best FCBD selection when it comes to indie company representation), and a couple of mom-‘n’-pop joints with whom I’m out of touch. I know of Dee Puppy Comics only by their frequent appearance in Google results. I lost track of Collector’s Paradise when they moved out of the Liberty Bell Flea Market to somewhere I failed to find even when I had Mapquest directions in my hand. Last winter we stumbled across a hole-in-the-wall joint off the Martinsville town square, but we could only peer through their locked door because it was Saturday morning and their day wouldn’t begin till 2 p.m.

That we have any comic shops remaining at all is a blessing, far as I’m concerned. As I understand it, more than a few major American cities (not just small towns) are now without benefit of brick-‘n’-mortar service. Despite what some six-year-old Google results claim to the contrary, such shops are nearing endangered-species status. I’m sure the Internet reaches those lost, diehard souls just fine and the digital revolution has brought comfort and supplies, but I’m not convinced it replaces the physical community, or the leisure and surprises to be found in shelf-browsing.

This year’s titles are listed here, and are aimed at various ages. Genuine newcomers will be more interested in Marvel and DC. Those are all yours. I’m aiming to nab copies of Atomic Robo & Friends, Buffy/The Guild, Star Wars/Serenity, Image 20, and samples from some of the upstart indie companies to see what they’re up to. Hopefully we’ll see them around next year, celebrating their first year of success.

Get ’em while you can, I say. Keep my hobby alive!