This book came close to changing my mind. So, so close.
(Yes, that’s me front-loading the piece with an unwieldy headline and a nearly irrelevant disclaimer. If I were a film director, I clearly wouldn’t be the breed that insists Act 1, Scene 1 must be all about exploding cars. Between those and this bonus meta-parenthetical, I hereby declare the tone Properly Set.)
If you search the MCC archives for “no smartphones” you’ll find an old entry in which this author grouses about his issues with our world’s favorite communication tool and/or babysitter. Since humans retain the enviable privilege to change their minds as circumstances warrant, I’m invoking that privilege to give WordPress’ QuickPress app a whirl on the new phone I bought last weekend.
For the record: with my son leaving for college in the fall, setting up a means of keeping in touch and/or sending emergency notifications seemed prudent. This tiny, cracker-sized gizmo won’t be usurping our PC anytime soon, but eschewing it merely because of other users’ disagreeable behaviors is no longer an option on the table. I’m proud to report that so far I’ve yet to succumb to any temptation to use this while driving, working, or having dinner with my family. Knock on wood.
I don’t expect to use QuickPress too often, but it’s nice to have an option in case inspiration strikes at the oddest times.
Gonna need lots more practice typing on this dollhouse keyboard, though. Seems to be a device better suited for shorter thoughts and much, much shorter words. With the way I talk and think, AutoText is only getting me so far. Argh.
[UPDATED, next morning via PC: added link to last year’s entry in question.]
Behold the author at age two, picture taken by a professional photographer circa 1974. To this day I can’t believe my mom agreed to pay for copies. I do understand the parental compulsion to save memories and moments of our offspring’s precious childhoods. Judging by my scornful expression, I gather this was a day in my life better off forgotten. I’d hate to see the rejected takes.
This expression also sums up my mood for too much of today — a poisonous mixture of mandatory overtime in unhealthy, sleep-depriving amounts; stupid chronic muscle pain; a block’s worth of trudging through a nasty downpour without rain gear or even a jacket; and capped with a surprise medical bill from an office visit fifteen months ago. It was the kind of day that inspires little creativity and copious moping if I allow it to consume me. Ibuprofen and caffeine in varying doses soothed to limited extents, as did my wife’s usual daily abundance of kindness. She’s nifty like that.
Portrait of the would-be writer at C2E2 2012. Appropriate soundtrack: the theme from Laverne & Shirley.
On April 28, 2013, the blog you’re presently skimming celebrated its very first birthday. Strange but true! I would’ve marked the occasion sooner and in a timelier fashion, but longtime readers might’ve noticed I had a hard time shutting up about that blasted C2E2 event for a few minutes. Even though our official six-part photo gallery is completed, I still have at least three posts’ worth of C2E2-related material in store from a different angle. Out of respect to my readers who might not be as enthralled as I am by local comics conventions, a broader, general-audience digression seemed in order. Also, I’d like to mark the occasion sometime before next New Year’s.
It was a singular event that inspired me to launch this humble site out of a combination of frustration and curiosity. (Expect the story behind said event in an upcoming entry. Enough time has passed, I think, that I can share it with fewer sour grapes.) I set forth on this strange journey to discover the answers to a long list of questions for myself, including but not limited to:
1. How many consecutive evenings in a row can I find a reason/excuse to write about something before I stumble and fail?
2. How much am I willing to sacrifice for the sake of writing?
3. Can I start such a project without a preexisting audience?
4. Is it possible to build an audience from the ground up? Not counting spammers?
5. What sorts of writing will I like best? And what kinds might become a dreary chore?
6. Is there a question #6?
7. Can I enjoy myself without being jealous of those who do this regularly for money?
8. Will anyone I know even care?
9. Am I alone in this?
10. Do I really like writing? If not, what am I supposed to be doing with my life?
Now taking requests! Anyone wanna hear “Edelweiss” for the 300,000th time?
Two slight problems:
(1) I already did a Liebster Award entry previously, and probably shouldn’t repeat myself any more than I already do. Unless that somehow draws more readers, in which case I suppose I can spend the upcoming MCC Year Two simply reblogging my previous twelve months’ entries one by one and live the high life at the corner of Easy Street and Lazy Boulevard.
(2) According to the Liebster Award rules set forth in myriad versions by the mysterious governing body that refuses to step into the spotlight and claim authorship of their works, it was my understanding that the Liebster Award nominations are permitted only for bloggers with a limited number of followers.
Thanks to MCC’s social media connections, a growing number of live readers (for whom I remain humbly grateful, and from whom I always welcome input), and an even more rapidly growing number of spammer followers (about whom STAB STAB STAB STAB), I believe my current Follower count, though still puny by the standards according to pro bloggers who earn a living at this (in front of whom I remain consistently humbled), still disqualifies me from the Liebsters based on the limits I’ve seen in other Liebster Award entries (200, 500, 1000 whatever).
Regardless of my heartless exclusion from the proceedings by that Mysterious Governing Body, the nominating post did include questions for the nominees. If the MGB would like to emerge from the shadows and try holding me back, I welcome the chance to meet them face-to-face in the light of day.
Anyway. Mrs. van Heerden’s questions, answered in order:
Far be it from me to convince myself that 350+ consecutive daily MCC entries and fourteen years of Internet participation experience (dating to the era when Usenet was ebbing but not dying, and “social media” wasn’t a labeled thing) are sufficient credentials to hoist myself upon an ornate pedestal and begin dispensing wisdom from above to fellow WordPress users about The Correct Way to Do Blogging. For reasons that would require a separate entry altogether, I don’t even like dispensing constructive criticism to other online writers, let alone have the ego to declare myself in the sensei business. One glance at MCC’s minimal visual design should provide evidence enough that I have a multitude of lessons yet to learn for myself.
Regardless, longtime bloggers can agree on a few of the most basic of basics. Today’s message is about one of those super-basic basics.
I’m well aware that my scattershot topical approach, my avoidance of narrow specialization, my complete lack of millions of share-happy friends, and my refusal to curse probably sabotage the chances of Midlife Crisis Crossover ever being seriously considered for the sort of major awards that have committees, budgets, perks, or multiple voters. I appreciate it, then, when another writer in the Internet trenches takes the time to send an encouraging gesture in my direction.
The Very Inspiring Blogger Award is one of many such gestures available to us. It’s not an official commendation with a nomination process or a governing body or a brick-and-mortar hall of fame that our family could visit on our next road trip. Quite the contrary, the VIBA is a pass-it-on pick-me-up that comes when least expected, means no harm, and provides opportunities for networking and paying forward to others.
Special thanks are owed to Tony Roberts at A Way With Words for this duly acceptable nomination. It’s especially noteworthy to me because Tony is one of only three other WordPress.com users from Indiana that I can recall encountering in MCC’s eleven months of existence. If I include WordPress.org, the head count expands to a whopping four. Truly we Hoosier bloggers are a mighty, tiny army. (If any other Hoosier bloggers are out there, that’d be nifty to know. I can’t even hear you breathing.)
In the wake of recent conflicting headlines regarding the revolving-door employment status of its longtime participants, ABC’s The View announced a new initiative to move forward into a bold new era by hiring Internet sensation Tardar Sauce, star of the massively popular “Grumpy Cat” meme, as new co-host to represent for furry, nonhuman, and hatemonger minorities. The arguably photogenic Ms. Sauce will replace outgoing co-host Joy Behar and has sinister plans to drive out the three survivors until none remain. ABC executives are on board with this dramatic plan in hopes of boosting viewership in the precious young-adult-male demographic from its current double-digit negative ratings share.
Viewers who were Grumpy Cat fans before Grumpy Cat was cool are cordially invited to share her official site or her official Facebook page with bandwagon jumpers to show how superior you are to them, even though she hates you and newcomers equally.
This 2008 file photo taken at Historic Jamestowne, Virginia, captures a very rare moment of the author in a pulpit.
Confession time: when I launched MCC eleven months ago, I didn’t expect that aspect of my life to receive such short shrift here compared to the other parts of my life. Truth is, writing about my faith is challenging because the majority of examples set before me from other writers, family, and friends (in writing or in simple conversation) are either memorized Bible verses, Christian song lyrics, or common quotes that sound so much like real verses that everyone assumes they are and keeps passing them around. For the purpose of self-expression, I have a hard time settling for that.
Years before my life took a conscious turn toward a new spiritual direction, I was once an English major who had one critical writing lesson drummed repeatedly into my head : “Put it in your own words.” While the Bible contains a wealth of advice more useful to me than Bartlett’s Quotations or Twitter, I’m not sure what I’m accomplishing — either for the Kingdom or for myself — if all my writing and speaking consists of recycling the exact phrases and paragraphs of everyone who came before me. Becoming a living, walking re-blogger holds no appeal to me. I’m hardly the most original guy in the world, but I’d at least like to try to form my own sentences into useful structures. Problem is, all the best wisdom and aphorisms are taken, leaving me to cobble together what I can from my own odd experiences and pale talents in hopes that it doesn’t reek of copy/paste plagiarism. More often than not, my frustrated approach is if I can’t say something different, I don’t say anything at all.
I don’t recommend that mindset to anyone else. I’ll concede that’s me being stubborn. Arguably, I’ve set the bar too high for myself. We’ll see how my thoughts on the subject progress as I age and hopefully keep growing. Until then, here I am, doing the best I can with what I have. That usually means I end up focusing on my other specializations here, those that predate my faith, originated in my childhood, and are sometimes at odds with it. Thus is the conflict that fuels some of the fight scenes in the Midlife Crisis Crossover.
Midlife Crisis Crossover! 