Tag Archives: Orlando

Disney World! Part 31: The Season Finale and the Magic Outtakes

August 25, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Cinderella Castle shot closely enough to cut off its spires but far enough away that the dozen or so cast members dancing onstage are tiny. A giant Disney World 50th-anniversary seal is still mounted on the castle.

Alternate shot of the 4:00 Thursday performance of Mickey’s Magical Friendship Faire at Cinderella Castle.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…though we treasured the free times allotted to her in between. Nevertheless, the trip reached its conclusion. Before we leave Orlando behind, let’s take a look back at a selection of outtakes that didn’t make the cut in our previous thirty chapters for various reasons. I’ve arguably posted too many pics as it is, in this epic-length vacation slideshow carousel that didn’t quite hold its audience captive. The average internet user has likely been to Disney theme parks multiple times in their lives and may chuckle at the expense of us starstruck bumpkins who’ve gone on and on about this. Congrats on your affluent first-world upbringing that we didn’t quite have. To us the Disney World trip was like a one-in-a-billion lottery win minus the devastating tax burden. And I’d wager our ending credit card balances were smaller than yours.

Anyway: last call for Disney World photos! And an epilogue.

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Disney World! Part 30: The Last Sunrise and the Character Breakfast

August 7, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
A Princess Tiana cast member in a yellow ballroom dress and tiara poses regally while Anne and I do jazz hands on either side of her.

A royal meet-‘n’-greet with Princess Tiana!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…but the rest of the time was ours for frolicking around Disney World and our Disney Resort. Sadly, the magic eventually had to end. We had one more bit of mixed business and pleasure on the itinerary before takeoff.

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Disney World! Part 29: Magic Meals and Mouse Food

August 4, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Two Dole Whip floats sitting on a shaded wooden shelf, refer to caption.

Disney World superfans love Dole Whips! At left, the basic pineapple soft-serve float. At right, the Tropical Serenade — pineapple-orange-guava juice, coconut ice cream, and a pineapple upside-down cake pop.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and the handlers kept the winners well fed during the employees-only Tuesday night meet-and-greet beach party, Wednesday morning’s mandatory hours-long business-related seminars, and the Wednesday night company dinner party-trap. As you can imagine, we were much more excited to sample concessions and cuisine from the actual Disney World parks on our own recognizance.

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Disney World! Part 28: Magic Kingdom After Dark

August 3, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Disney's Cinderella Castle lit up all over at night, lots of blue and mostly purple.

Color me floored by Cinderella Castle’s surprising nighttime resemblance to the current Walt Disney Pictures title card.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…and time was running out in her one free day. We had less 90 minutes to spend before we had to leave the Magic Kingdom for an appointment. We tried to make them count.

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Disney World! Part 27: The Magic Kingdom Beyond the Castle

July 20, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Bronze Lincoln bust on a pedestal in front of a black-and-white painting of Walt Disney.

We found their miniature American history museum! And you can’t have one of those without a bust of Lincoln.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t have to, so we could do actual tourism together in this supernaturally fun place where our families could never afford to visit in childhood, unlike all the other, more well-off whitebread kids who outnumbered us tens-of-millions-to-2. Thus we spent our afternoon in the Magic Kingdom wandering more than riding, gawking more than waiting in lines, and feeling dumbstruck at sights that surely would’ve blown our minds if we’d come here as kids. It was impossible to hold onto our Gen-X jadedness here.

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Disney World! Part 26: It’s a Small, Small, Small, Small World

July 14, 2024 By in Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Three cutesy singing animatronic figurines with tribal face paints, two mushroom-shaped and one shaped like a thumb. Everything's blue and purple.

Welcome to animatronic Africa with mood lighting!

I ask you, what better time than right now for a shiny happy feel-good gallery of an alternate Earth in which everyone sets aside their differences, concedes they were all cranked out by the same animatronic manufacturer, celebrates mutual captivity on the same indoor canal, welcomes outsiders without fear of mass shootings or assassinations, and drowns out any concerns by singing the same catchy jingle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

…sorry, what were we talking about?

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Disney World! Part 25: Adventure Friends Cavalcade

July 5, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Disney World parade cast members: Mary Poppins and Stitch, dancing. Mary's eyes are closed. Bert the chimney sweep is nearly offscreen, aghast at something.

If Mary Poppins thinks those Banks whelps were a handful, wait’ll she gets a load of Stitch.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except the one day she didn’t. We didn’t leave ourselves a lot of time to explore the Magic Kingdom park — i.e., the one with the world-famous castle in it — but we encountered plenty of surprises in the short time allotted.

Case in point: the Disney Adventure Friends Cavalcade! There we were, wandering toward the northern border of Frontierland when we ran into a newly formed roadblock, which made way for a slew of Disney characters to emerge from a gate on our left. An even mix of popular favorites and deep-dive obscurities merrily danced, pranced, strolled, fed upon adulation, and maybe taught us a lesson that sometimes there are good reasons to stop traffic.

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Disney World! Part 24: Dance Party at Cinderella Castle

June 30, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Hundreds of guests walking up to the fancy magic castle on a bright spring day.

This was the wallpaper on my work computer for the next several months.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, free of company business and responsibilities, so we could at last spend quality time together at The Most Magical Place on Earth™. After indulging for a couple hours back at the resort to recuperate from our intergalactic morning at Hollywood Studios, we followed our Park Hopper pass to the one place where sixteen billion Disney World blogs say you’re supposed to start your travelogue, rather than holding it back till Chapter 24: at Disney’s Magic Kingdom park, starring the iconic Cinderella Castle.

(My stubborn insistence on burying the lede in its exact position in the narrative might explain why this miniseries’ traffic has been demoralizingly negligible, which in turn is why I haven’t bothered rushing it. Or maybe it’s because everyone on Earth already read those first sixteen billion Disney World blogs and has zero interest in giving pity-clicks to #16,000,000,001. Or everyone’s richer than we are and you’ve already been there six times and I’m boring you with what you’ve already seen for yourself. Nevertheless, here we are!)

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Disney World! Part 23: Hurray for Hollywood Studios

June 25, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Disney World cast member in Daisy Duck costume standing on a picnic blanket in the grass, pointing way off to our left. Behind her is a large square arch with a Disney's Hollywood Studios sign.

Daisy Duck doing her best Babe Ruth impression.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, which we began at Hollywood Studios because, apropos of us, that’s where Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge was. We didn’t ride any more rides that morning, but we found plenty to photograph beyond the worlds of Star Wars, Toy Story and the Muppets. ‘Tis a magical place!

(Especially the palm trees, which were everywhere we turned. We don’t have those back home in Indiana, but judging by these pics, you’d think they were the only things we were excited to see.)

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Disney World! Part 22: It’s the Muppet Show!

June 20, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
On the side of a colorful exterior hodgepodge wall is a large clock with Kermit's face in the middle and twelve circled stars instead of numbers. The hands point to 2:00.

It’s Kermit o’clock somewhere!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, when we ran straight to Disney’s Hollywood Studios and went crazy Broadway-style. Several blocks’ worth of Star Wars bazaar and flight simulators had taken our breath away, and the Toy Story section had turned Andy’s bedroom floor into a veritable sculpture garden, but deep down in the geeky grade-schooler in me, all of them take a back seat to the Muppets, who were first to plant their freak-flag in his heart

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Disney World! Part 21: Toy Story Land

June 13, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Roller coaster shaped like Slinky Dog rides 20+ feet in the air over a walkway that looks like a video game racetrack. It has circular arches; the front one says "GO!"

The Slinky Dog Dash coaster! No, we aren’t on it.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day to do whatever we wanted in Disney World vicinity, whether it was riding rides or just wandering around them. Other options included Disney Springs or just wallowing at the Grand Floridian’s spa facility. Some options were more tempting than others.

We’d dallied for so long in Galaxy’s Edge that everyplace else in Hollywood Studios had crowded up in the meantime. We next sauntered north to Toy Story Land, Star Wars’ next-door neighbor geographically and corporate-family-wise. Much of the area is for the kiddos, but grown-ups have options, too. After escaping the First Order and piloting the Millennium Falcon our inner whirligiggish sens-o-meters were at max capacity for a while. We middle-agers were plenty entertained walking around this alt-universe showcase of what Andy’s bedroom might’ve looked like at worm’s-eye-view if he’d been jointly cloned from Frank Lloyd Wright and Pee-Wee Herman.

We loved the designs of the rides, the buildings, the statues, the muchness of it all. We were intoxicated with that long-lost sensation we used to get every time Pixar made a new film.

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Disney World! Part 20: The Museum of Star Wars

June 9, 2024 By in Movies/Films/Flicks, Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Full Rey desert costume including goggles and face mask, plus big fictional speeder parked behind her. Exhibit backdrop is a nighttime desert with a rich, bluish-purple sky.

One of Daisy Ridley’s Rey costumes and her speeder.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off to enjoy together from dawn to dusk. Galaxy’s Edge was of course our feature presentation and favorite part of the entire vacation, but it wasn’t the only place to find Star Wars in Hollywood Studios. Up on the northwest side of the park, their Animation Courtyard section held Star Wars Launch Bay, a low-key gallery of props, vehicles, posters, miniatures, and other arts sprung forth from the collective Lucasfilm imagination. The building itself was removed from the main thoroughfares and a bit depressing with its all-black walls and minimalist adornment apart from the objets d’art themselves. It was a stark contrast from the rest of the uniformly eye-popping park and sparsely attended. It was arguably a good place for a time-out for guests who could use mental-health intermissions away from overpopulated theme-park hubbub.

On the “pro” side: it was more sights to see from, of, and about the Star Wars. Consider it extra credit to the interactive Galaxy’s Edge experience, albeit a few blocks down the road from all those superior, more lavishly exhibited areas.

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Disney World! Part 19: Postcards from Galaxy’s Edge

June 8, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments
Anne standing in front of the Galaxy's Edge area that looks like a bunch of alien shops influenced by Asian designs.

A bazaar of the bizarre!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…but we absolutely made the most of her one day off, starting with the fabulous space neighborhood of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. We never thought we’d see it person, yet here we were. The Millennium Falcon ride was pretty great and Rise of the Resistance was THE BEST, but Galaxy’s Edge is more than just a souped-up space carnival. It’s…well, okay, it’s an extremely souped-up space carnival. It’s an opportunity for Star Wars fans like us (rather noticeable on this site throughout the years) to feel transported to that one galaxy out there and explore its worlds up close like a window-shopping anthropologist.

Well, some of its worlds, anyway. We saw no signs of Dagobah, Kamino, or Mustafar. Sand was in far shorter supply than on Tatooine, though the architecture was similar. Maybe they hired the same design firms as Jakku and Scarif. And the buildings were a little too short and scruffy for Coruscant. I also doubt Florida would’ve been the proper place to recreate Hoth, unless this was a faithful rendition of Hoth in summertime. We’ve all just assumed the entirety of Hoth was Space Antarctica for however many months its years have, but what if we only saw it in wintertime and it in fact offers some wondrous tropical vacation climes in some other hemisphere that Lucas didn’t bother to show us? Then again, maybe there used to be a Hoth section, but they pulled the plug on it sometime before March 2023 because it was using too much freon and Disney needed some funds freed up to hire more lawyers to punch Ron DeSantis in the face. I’m sorry we missed it.

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Disney World! Part 18: Star Wars: Millennium Falcon – Smugglers Run

June 6, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
My wife gesturing wildly at the life-size Millennium Falcon parked far behind her. In the background are massive canyon walls. A few other tourists mill about.

It’s the ship that made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs! Usually it takes fifteen unless your ship can handle the Vogon hyperspace bypass!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

…especially not on our very special Star Wars date-day!

Sure, Rise of the Resistance may or may not have been the greatest theme park ride in world history, but it wasn’t the only Lucasfilm tribute that Hollywood Studios offered. After our honorable discharge from the Resistance and some overdue breakfast (which we’ll cover in a later chapter), our next obvious stop was Millennium Falcon – Smugglers Run.

The intergalactic flight simulator lets fans pretend they’re Han and Chewie, or Lando and Nien Nunb, or Rey and Finn, or Rey and Chewbacca, or Ralph and Alice Kramden going bang-zoom to the moon. It’s up to you whatever role-playing you can manage jointly in your heads while you’re being buffeted by lights and sound effects and stomach-churning vibrations, and managing the interactive tasks assigned to you. Every rider gets to be a Millennium Falcon crew member!

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Disney World! Part 17: Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance

June 3, 2024 By in Movies/Films/Flicks, Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Shiny Death Star chamber with vaulted ceiling and dozens of Stormtrooper mannequins standing before a fake bay window viewing space.

I’ve got a great feeling about this!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

…except on Thursday. That was her one free day, all play and no work. She’d be asked to suffer no business meetings, no HR-mandated activities, no coworker chitchat, and no miss-you-SO-much text exchanges miles apart juxtaposing my solo adventures with her expertly catered drudgery. The Wednesday evening captive dinner was the nadir of our trip, but the next morning was The Best.

Five years ago we attended Star Wars Celebration Chicago, where the exhibit hall featured a sneak preview of Disney World’s extravagant, then-upcoming new attraction, Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge at Hollywood Studios. An entire corner of that park was terraformed into a full-scale recreation of that world-famous far-faraway galaxy. Rides! Ships! Shops! Props! Merch! Environments! Cosplaying “cast members”! Long lines just like at the theater! The convention preview was fancy and entertaining, but we kept our enthusiasm in check. We’d already been to Florida once, visited the other Orlando theme parks, and didn’t plan a Florida encore anytime soon. Of course we dreamed of one, preferably before retirement while we could still walk under our own power, but it seemed pretty doubtful at Disney World prices. We figured by the time we did come back, Galaxy’s Edge would be long gone and replaced with, like, Doc McStuffins Village or whatever.

A lot can change in five years. And, to our shock, did. Their overpriced Star Wars-themed hotel was history, but Galaxy’s Edge was still there, waiting.

Pretty much within the first minute of our trip planning, we’d known where and how this day would begin: STAR WARS!

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Disney World! Part 16: Prisoners of EPCOT

April 21, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
At night Spaceship Earth's giant golf ball turns indigo with white lights on each pinpoint.

“THERE IS NO WAY OUT!” I imagined an evil alien broadcasting telepathically to me from the very core of Spaceship Earth.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

When I began my one-man tour of EPCOT with awkwardness and a little anxiety, I’d asked myself going in, “What’s the worst that could happen?” We found our answer there Wednesday night.

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Disney World! Part 15: EPCOT’s Harmonious

April 19, 2024 By in Meta, Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
blue purple fountains lights silhouettes of zebra and elephant in profile

The Circle of Life…after dark!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Before we recount what happened with the company dinner at EPCOT, it’s important and calming for me to focus first on the most breathtaking part of that long Wednesday evening. At 8:30 p.m. all of us guests were ushered from the banquet facility on the park’s west edge to a centralized, gated party space on the north shore of World Showcase Lagoon. Snacks and booze were offered while we were treated to the 9:00 showing of the park’s resident closing-time light show, a 30-minute program called Harmonious. A synchronized, beauteous onslaught of fireworks, fountains, spotlights, kaleidoscopic effects, oddly shaped screens on floating platforms, songs familiar and unfamiliar, and a barely discernible narrative. It’s all you could want from the end of an amusement-park day and more.

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Disney World! Part 14: The Last Worlds of EPCOT

April 12, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Shiny ride entrance with giant metal plants sitting outside it. The largest one is purple and over 30 feet tall. The building is made entirely from curved metal, including one arc that ends in midair above the roof.

Mission Space, one of many rides I skipped.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Touring EPCOT solo felt less lonely and awkward as the day wore on and I got used to it. I couldn’t linger too much longer, though. Anne’s company had scheduled a celebratory dinner for all employees and their plus-ones at 5 p.m. The exact location was TBA, traditionally kept secret every year until hours beforehand. One of Anne’s coworkers was a previous winner whose shindig was held in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. There was no guaranteed hers would do the same, but if it were, that would mean we’d indeed get to see all four Disney parks in Orlando on the same trip. We crossed our fingers and hoped for the convenience.

In the meantime, I had a few more sections of EPCOT to see.

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Disney World! Part 13: The EPCOT World Showcase Showdown

April 7, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Statue of a blue knight and a gray horse atop a tall, narrow pedestal in the center of a life-size replica German town square.

St. George and his horse prepare to fight an unseen dragon in the middle of EPCOT’s German Pavilion.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

My tour of the southern end of EPCOT kept going and going as the walkways took me through one simulated country after another in their World Showcase — more exhibits, more gift shops, and more flashy architecture that’s either iconic or stereotypical depending on your emotional relationship to the subjects at hand.

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Disney World! Part 12: EPCOT’s World of Japan

March 29, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
A Japanese gate and dragon sculpture in front of a lagoon. EPCOT's fireworks setups are visible on the horizon and would become important later.

Japan’s share of the World Showcase Lagoon shore.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Most of my EPCOT experience was spent dawdling in the World Showcase, a combination outdoor international shopping mall and museum complex, subdivided into eleven nation simulations across four of the seven continents. Guests can learn about their cultures, sample their cuisine, buy their merchandise, and decide for themselves which bits are authentic carryovers and which are fun stereotypes. All the artifacts, curios, and souvenirs were doubtlessly vetted by multiple committees, but opinions will nonetheless vary among subscribers to the “Death of the Curator” interpretive theory.

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