Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken one road trip to a different part of the United States and seen attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. After years of contenting ourselves with everyday life in Indianapolis and any nearby places that also had comics and toy shops, we overcame some of our self-imposed limitations and resolved as a team to leave the comforts of home for annual chances to see creative, exciting, breathtaking, outlandish, historical, and/or bewildering new sights in states beyond our own. We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.

For 2023 it was time at last to venture to the Carolinas, the only southern states we hadn’t yet visited…

…which are now crossed off our list. We enjoyed our stroll around downtown Asheville, North Carolina, though we had no idea of the dark events in its future. At the time, all we know is we had fun and found quite a few eateries to our liking — two local establishments and one eastern-U.S. chain we’d never encountered before. After Hurricane Helene hit in September 2024 their staffs scattered to the four winds as they had to seek refuge elsewhere until things got better. More than one of them had GoFundMe campaigns going for a time while they waited weeks for power and water to be reconnected. As of March 2026 I’m happy to see all three are still going strong today.

Our southbound walk down Broadway Street led us to Mellow Mushroom Pizza, a psychedelic purveyor of pizza pies and fungus-forward fun. They originated in Atlanta back in 1974 and have expanded to over 160 locations as of this writing. We were totally unaware there’s one up in Carmel, a half-hour from our very own home that we’ve yet to lay eyes on. All we knew was their exterior was freaky and we hadn’t had any pizza all week.

This wouldn’t be our last Mellow Mushroom trip. Three months later we had late dinner at the one in downtown Atlanta after a long Dragon Con weekend. It seemed less decorated than the one in Asheville, but I was pretty punchy at the time, so maybe I just overlooked all their pieces of mushroom flair.

2024 just so happened to be Mellow Mushroom’s fiftieth anniversary when Helene disrupted any celebration at the Asheville location. They reopened nearly a month later, when the water was running again but not yet potable, so they had to keep bringing clean water in containers from elsewhere until the boil order was lifted in November. In the interim, they spent weeks post-Helene dishing up free pizzas to any and all comers still in town, and en masse to charities and organizations — not just in town, but also to community centers in Barnardsville, Swannanoa, and other neighboring areas. A combination of MM home-office assistance and local donations helped repay their kindness.

(What didn’t help matters was an incident involving some out-ot-town bozo who showed up one day, looking for YouTube diatribe-cred by harassing folks in line about some conspiracy theory involving Helene, FEMA, space weapons, and North Carolina lithium mines. Just…wow. Never grow up to be THAT GUY, kids.)

Later during our walk, we stopped for snack-drinks at Double D’s Coffee and Desserts, a double-decker bus converted into a coffee shop. They weren’t offering to let anyone inside that day, but we dug the whimsical format. Luckily for us there was virtually no line, partly because their “CASH ONLY” sign turned away more than a few would-be sippers. We only had to wait behind a single other family, whose obnoxious teenage son was berating Mom for trying to order a plain black coffee that he insisted they could buy anywhere. Because how dare she buy something that brings her joy without his approval.

While we waited, a nearby busker ran through his repertoire, which included covering “Sympathy for the Devil”. I’d plug him here, but the hashtag on his signage appears to have been scrubbed from the ‘net.

After Helene, Double D’s was closed for weeks until clean water returned to town. In the meantime, owner Jeff Lazzaro spent weeks of that downtime walking around town with a portable setup, handing out hundreds of free cups of coffee and collecting donations for a local food bank. They were back up by the end of October, joining other businesses in the collective Doors Open Downtown initiative that hopefully helped restore some sense of normalcy in time for Halloween.

We were exhausted by the time we walked the full length of downtown back to our hotel. We sorted the day’s purchases, including what we bought from the gift shop at the South Carolina State House — a jar of F.R.O.G. jam and an empty vial, which Anne had hoped to fill with beach sand as a souvenir for her mom. By nightfall we were still shaking remnants from Isle of Palms Beach out of our socks and shoes. It more than sufficed.

DAY SIX: THURSDAY, June 29th.

We skipped the hotel’s breakfast, checked out, and instead fetched our favorite form of travel vittles: local donuts!

Vortex was located on Asheville’s “south slope”, a bit beyond downtown in a neighborhood where streets changed name every few blocks and abrupt turnoffs frightened and confused Google Maps. After Helene they had no power or water for days, among other unspoken complications. They didn’t reopen till the following February, under new ownership. We can definitely vouch for the previous owner’s wares, at least.

Then Anne realized she’d forgotten her favorite lumbar pillow back at the hotel. It’s quasi-knitted and all-white, and easily blends in with generic all-white hotel sheet sets. We headed back that way, made countless wrong turns, and faked it till we made it back. Fortunately housekeeping had recognized it as a foreign object, tucked it in a bottom dresser drawer, and let her come in to fetch it.

We regrettably had to take our leave of North Carolina, though it’d be nifty to return some day. Last call for Tarheel State sightseeing on the way out:

To be continued!

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[Link enclosed here to handy checklist for other chapters and for our complete road trip history to date. Follow us on Facebook or via email sign-up for new-entry alerts, or over on BlueSky if you want to track my faint signs of life between entries. Thanks for reading!]