The Academy Award nominations are in! But you already knew that because chances are you’ve had more time for internet than I have today. You’ve already been surprised at how many of the nominees you’ve seen, not surprised that the theme of the 88th Academy Awards will be the Year of the White Guy, and probably up in arms that Star Wars: The Force Awakens wasn’t nominated in nineteen different categories including Best Foreign Language Film on behalf of the one scene with the two guys from The Raid. Ha! Sorry you got your hopes up, you FOOL. The guys from The Raid weren’t nearly white enough.
(If you had to work today like I did, here’s the complete list in showy poster format, or you can do like I do and skip to the “Printable List” button on the right side of that page for a handy PDF. I have zero interest in copying ‘n’ pasting the entirety from someone else’s site, or in typing every single title from scratch. It’s not like I’m paid by the word.)
Momentary pause here to signify my disappointment that Creed likewise failed to be nominated for all the awards ever. I’m sincerely cool with Stallone’s nomination and expected no less, but much more love needed to go out to Michael B. Jordan, director Ryan Coogler, Ludwig Goransson’s score, screenplay, editing, the works. I already went through this frustration two years ago with Fruitvale Station, and yet here we go again. A few things went my way, but seeing Creed seated at the kiddie table wasn’t one of them.
(Same goes to a certain extent for Inside Out, my favorite film of 2015, but I’m used to Hollywood underrating its animated films. To its credit, it received nods for Best Animated Feature and Best Original Screenplay, which means it got twice as many nominations as Creed did. Congrats?)
The following lists and other thoughts popped into my head throughout the day while I mulled over this year’s honorees:
Best Picture nominees yet to come, ranked from “Want to See Most” to “If I Must”:
The Big Short
Bridge of Spies
Movies with most nominations:
The Revenant – 12
Mad Max: Fury Road – 10
The Martian – 7
Spotlight, Bridge of Spies, Carol – 6
The Big Short, Star Wars: The Force Awakens – 5
Lowest Tomatometer ratings for movies nominated in the big six categories:
Joy – 60%
Trumbo – 70%
The Danish Girl – 71%
The Hateful Eight – 74%
The Revenant – 82%
Showdowns I wish could end in a tie:
Stallone vs. Mark Ruffalo
Four of the five Best Visual Effects nominees
Films not nominated for Best Visual Effects:
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
Things the Academy is required by California law to nominate:
John Williams scores
Steven Spielberg period pieces
Best Original Song nominees, better to less better:
1. Sumi Jo featuring Viktoria Mullova, “Simple Song #3” — Classical and exquisite. A rare kind of nominee.
2. Lady Gaga, “Till It Happens to You” — A fierce response from the viewpoint of a rape survivor. Old-school vibe like Adele’s new stuff, but better.
3. Sam Smith, “Writing’s on the Wall” I hated it the first time I heard it, but in the world of Bond themes it beats “Die Another Day”.
4. The Weeknd, “Earned It” — Kind of mild, as songs about sex go, but I’m not inclined to award points for anything originating within 500 yards of Fifty Shades of Grey.
5. J. Ralph & Antony, “Manta Ray” — The tinkly yay-animals ballad Steve Irwin never had the chance to write. It’s about time someone worked the word “biodiversity” into a song, but they didn’t even try to rhyme anything with it.
Smaller nominees available now on Netflix:
Chau, beyond the Lines
Last Day of Freedom
What Happened, Miss Simone?
Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom
World of Tomorrow
The Hunting Ground (DVD only)
Total screenplay nominees written or co-written by women:
Straight Outta Compton
Marvel films nominated for anything:
Major films with any nonwhite nominees for acting, directing, or writing:
Movies with as many nominations as Creed:
Straight Outta Compton
Shaun the Sheep Movie