“Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire”: Back to Basic Behemoth-Bashing

The yellow-and-black IMAX movie poster for "Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire". The title monsters are running in shadowed profile. Tiny fight jets zoom alongside them. The 'A' in "IMAX" is replaced with a Pyramid thinner than any real Egyptian Pyramid.

Bad beasts, bad beasts, whatcha gonna do?

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: the MonsterVerse is a thing! Once enough time had passed since Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla and Peter Jackson’s King Kong, the blockbuster peddlers at Legendary Pictures decided America was ready once again for rude giant animals to crush everything in their paths and possibly dominate theaters. Their Avengers-style interconnected saga began with 2014’s recycle-titled Godzilla, which delivered one truly mighty monster melee after two hours of ordinary humans reminding us what we didn’t like about the previous five decades’ predecessors. Pop culture’s most popular overtall simian returned in 2017’s Kong: Skull Island, a period-piece prequel that shamelessly embraced kaiju camp, OD’d on steroids and let its creatures run amuck through Apocalypse Now backdrops and chase some of the best character actors in the biz. The humans were suspiciously more entertaining and having way more fun than usual, as monster toe-jam ingredients go.

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Yes, There’s Foreshadowing After the “Godzilla Minus One” End Credits

Japanese woman on a train looking out the window, which hazily reflects a rampaging Godzilla heading her way.

Warning: objects in reflection may be scarier than they appear.

In 2019 writer/director Takashi Yamazaki’s historical-fictional The Great War of Archimedes voiced a younger generation’s righteous anger at the hawkish military statesmen who may have deceitfully goaded Japan into World War II and examined the question, “What if one lone hero had risen up to expose their lies and tried to avert the war? Also, what if he were a math whiz?” After their country’s resignation from the League of Nations, officials who oppose elder colleagues’ proposal to build the ultimate super-battleship — clearly the herald of a forthcoming offensive rather than an ostentatious precautionary defense — recruit an antiwar savant to prove the mega-boat would be wildly more expensive than they’re letting on and hopefully foil their plot. The filmmaker best sums up the hubris of those would-be conquerors in a chilling boardroom debate where one contemptuous admiral dismisses the will of the people that is so beneath him: “Without the state, the people are nothing.”

Currently available for streaming on Amazon Prime and some ad-supported services, Yamazaki’s fast-paced high-stakes calculus melodrama expresses regret over the arrogant leadership of yore and proves their audiences are far more open-minded to supporting niche sub-subgenres than Americans are. But it’s especially striking for its opening set piece, a flash-forward to the final fate of the Yamato — a harrowing, five-minute ocean-disaster modern-CG epic mash-up of Titanic and Pearl Harbor bloodier than both films combined. Viewers will know The End going in, yet watch in escalating horror how some dissenting officers might’ve foreseen that outcome but played along anyway.

Four years later Yamazaki’s American theatrical debut follows the same train of recriminating thought as he shifts focus from pre- to post-war Japan. Amid the remains of its decimated cities — not just the two commemorated in all “NEVER AGAIN” speeches and essays ever since — he reemphasizes the past sins of the ruling class and celebrates the indomitable spirit of the Japanese people who rise up to defend their homeland against a flagrantly aggressive common foe. They band together not with their government but despite their government. As it happens, that foe is a famous giant lizard.

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“Godzilla vs. Kong”: When Humanity’s Doom Was Super-Sized, Not Microscopic

King Kong Waits.

“Waitwaitwaitwait — they signed me up to fight WHO?”

Once upon a time at the cinema, the deadliest monsters weren’t lurking in our own airways, weren’t infiltrating nursing homes to murder our loved ones, and weren’t other humans screaming in our faces about their hallucinatory conspiracy theories. In our shared realm of pure imagination, creatures fifty feet tall or more threatened our lives, our livelihoods, our close-quarters societies, and our very infrastructure that is the ultimate status symbol of superior lifeforms. In each rueful tale humankind was brought low by its hubris and its denial of its own frailty, screaming at the heavens as our deathblow came not from ironically itty-bitty microorganisms, but from amazing colossal oppressors who deemed us just as squashable as ants. Though they were arguably empowered by humanity’s sins, at least we could see them coming from a mile away and escape them if we had a cool enough car. In those days, dire threats to our entire species were much more fun.

Blame nostalgia for old-fashioned monsters, as opposed to today’s monsters outside our windows, as the primary motivation that drove me to see Godzilla vs. Kong in theaters and break my own rules.

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Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” End Credits

Godzilla King of the Monsters!

Turn on your heartlight! Let it shine wherever you go!

Previously on the Godzilla and Friends Cinematic Universe: in 2014’s Godzilla reboot we got seven (7) minutes of Our Hero and two hours of Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch hiding and moping. 2017 brought us Kong: Skull Island, the big ape’s cheesy yet awesome comeback that delivered on its promises of MONSTERS FIGHT! though any human actors who didn’t arrive tongue-in-cheek looked pretty lost.

Now it’s sort of a trilogy as Legendary Pictures perpetuates the American GFCU with Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Hopefully this time Toho isn’t ashamed of what our country has done to its favorite native superlizard.

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If Godzilla Won’t Rush to Appear in His Own Film, Why Rush to Write About It?

Elizabeth Olsen!

Elizabeth Olsen plays the obligatory Concerned Wife role and has more screen time than the King of the Monsters. Her agent must be one tough negotiator.

I saw the new Godzilla reboot over Memorial Day weekend, but we’ve had so much going on here at Midlife Crisis Crossover over the past few weeks, from my birthday road trip to the Indy 500 Festival Parade to Indy PopCon 2014, that its writeup remained relegated to the MCC reserve-topic list until those events were past. (Mostly, anyway. Officially I’m not done with one of them.) Four weeks into its American theatrical run, I figure why not get on with it.

So, monsters, then. Eventually.

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San Diego Comic Con 2013: the Best and Least-Best News as Seen from the Cheap Seats

Godzilla movie teaser poster, America, 2014Anyone who followed the entertainment news as it flooded out of 2013’s San Diego Comic Con found themselves shocked and surprised by two or more bombshells dropped from above, as the movie and comic book companies kept trying to top each other with the Greatest Announcement of All.

My general impressions follow of what stood out to me most, whether good, bad, or both.

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