Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: we guided you through our seven-day trip to Baltimore, Maryland, in forty-four episodes —- July 8-14, 2017, with stops along the way at two Civil War battlefields and a series of smaller but no less intriguing sights by the roadside.
It all comes down to this: one final collection of alternate scenes and quick blips in between the larger sights. Baltimore may have set a new homicide record year in 2017, to say nothing of headline-making protests, but our trip there and back again belied all that. Any large city has its issues and its areas you’re not supposed to visit — some worse than others — but they also have their bright sides and their reasons, great and small, why the locals stick around and don’t just all flee to Canada.
Four states. 1400 miles, including the 100 miles wasted on a bad Avis rental. Three hotels, two top-notch historical and one incompetent. Two Civil War battlefields. Two toy museums inside former school buildings. Two important locales from the secret origin of the American flag. Three Madonnas of the Trail. Two mountaintop constructs in honor of George Washington. One sighting of shots fired in Baltimore. One fearful moment that had nothing to do with street crime. Two high-quality Baltimore diners As Seen On TV. Three great places for frozen treats. Four Pez dispenser collections. Several mountains, over and under. Four rivers, one creek, one harbor, and one flood. Clusters of jellyfish and elephants. Metric tons of Old Bay seasoning.
We’re the Goldens. This is who we are and what we do.
The End. Thanks for reading. Lord willing, see you next road trip, once we make up our minds where that’ll be.
[Link enclosed here to handy checklist for other chapters and for our complete road trip history to date. Follow us on Facebook or via email signup for new-entry alerts, or over on Twitter if you want to track my TV live-tweeting and other signs of life between entries. Thanks for reading!]