Even Bilbo sleeps through his bonus scenic tour of Rivendell.

With NBC’s Revolution skipping this week and my Wednesdays otherwise free, I spent tonight wading through the extended edition of Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey, which was released last November for enthusiasts who wanted to make sure none of the deleted scenes were from the best obscure nooks of Tolkien canon. Although the Extended Edition only includes 7.7% more footage than the theatrical version, the resulting saga feels twice as long.

Other websites have annotated the bonus moments to exhaustion, but I’m pretty sure they missed a few things. I can’t blame them for napping, letting their phones distract them, or immediately forgetting what they just saw. That’s why little guys like me exist: just in case the pros are slacking.

From the home office in Indianapolis, IN: Top 10 Worst Additions to The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition:

10. A hobbit-puppet singalong to teach viewers the names of all the dwarves

9. Gandalf’s tantrum when Bilbo encases his staff in green Jell-O

8. An alarmed Elrond delivering news of the murderous orc raids to kindly old Chancellor Sauron

7. Twenty-minute flashback tracing the ancestry of the bird that pooped on Radagast’s face

6. Bofur’s loser tryout for Middle-Earth Idol

5. Haldir banging at the gates, upset that they let everyone else back in the series except him

4. The mile-long end-credits extension listing all Lord of the Rings Fan Club Production Babies

3. Surprise cameo by a very confused Stan Lee

2. Gollum’s 27 uncensored F-bombs

And the number one worst addition to The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition:

1. Sean Bean plays Boromir’s great-grandfather; dies in the first ten minutes.