Because nothing good can remain untarnished and self-contained:

Variety reported Tuesday a small movie company that doesn’t own It’s a Wonderful Life is planning an official sequel — somehow, for some reason, possibly because greed minus self-awareness. Tentatively titled It’s a Wonderful Life: The Rest of the Story, the superfluous production will show George’s grandson being taught a lesson by his aunt Zuzu, now transformed into an angel. The company is hoping for a holiday 2015 release so it can compete against Star Wars Episode VII and look that much more foolish.

Sure, theoretically every story can be continued, but should it happen to every story? Besides, where else could the Baileys and their fellow citizens of Bedford Falls go after that happy ending? Do we really need to see Clarence’s works undone, just so the same concept can be rehashed for a new generation that’s allergic to black-and-white films?

Assuming this sequel follows in the footsteps of all other cinematic cash-grab ploys, I imagine IaWL2 may or may not show us any of the following possibilities:

* Clarence isn’t an angel. He’s an alien equipped with advanced science.

* If George had never existed, WWII also never would have happened. That minor detail slipped Clarence’s mind.

* If Mr. Gower the drunken pharmacist had never existed, a jobless young George would’ve joined a street gang, then later gotten shot dead as an adult while trying to rob his own family’s bank.

* In the newly revealed original timeline, Zuzu never existed. She was an incidental side effect of one of Clarence’s first “fixes”.

* Old Man Potter can’t walk because he’s a merman. An evil merman.

* Bailey Building and Loan was bought out in 2008 by PNC.

* After George’s thoughtless screaming, Janie later took a sledgehammer to the piano and never played again.

* Bert and Ernie stand revealed as two of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, whose long-term agenda won’t be revealed till Wonderful Life 3: the Destruction of Bedford Falls.

* After an uncredited rewrite by Shane Black, the sequel will still take place on Christmas, but the grand finale will be a rousing gunfight at Potter Mansion.

* When the Baileys finally took their first European vacation, it was a wacky nightmare of lost luggage, espionage, and mistaken identity.

* Harry Bailey’s “Navy career” was a cover story for his stint as a USO dancer.

* When Uncle Billy “lost” the eight grand, Potter had promised him half if their scheme worked.

* In the alt-timeline where George existed but his suicide succeeded, that life insurance money really did come in handy.

* Giuseppe the bartender? Actually a Venusian.

* Wonderful Life: Episodes IV-VI will be an interconnected trilogy of ABC Family original movies starring David Schwimmer as George Bailey.