Disney World! Part 16: Prisoners of EPCOT

April 21, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
At night Spaceship Earth's giant golf ball turns indigo with white lights on each pinpoint.

“THERE IS NO WAY OUT!” I imagined an evil alien broadcasting telepathically to me from the very core of Spaceship Earth.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

When I began my one-man tour of EPCOT with awkwardness and a little anxiety, I’d asked myself going in, “What’s the worst that could happen?” We found our answer there Wednesday night.

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Disney World! Part 15: EPCOT’s Harmonious

April 19, 2024 By in Meta, Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
blue purple fountains lights silhouettes of zebra and elephant in profile

The Circle of Life…after dark!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Before we recount what happened with the company dinner at EPCOT, it’s important and calming for me to focus first on the most breathtaking part of that long Wednesday evening. At 8:30 p.m. all of us guests were ushered from the banquet facility on the park’s west edge to a centralized, gated party space on the north shore of World Showcase Lagoon. Snacks and booze were offered while we were treated to the 9:00 showing of the park’s resident closing-time light show, a 30-minute program called Harmonious. A synchronized, beauteous onslaught of fireworks, fountains, spotlights, kaleidoscopic effects, oddly shaped screens on floating platforms, songs familiar and unfamiliar, and a barely discernible narrative. It’s all you could want from the end of an amusement-park day and more.

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“Late Night with the Devil”: Time Now for Stupid Host Tricks

April 14, 2024 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment
1970s TV show host holds a mic and side-eyes stage right. Behind him is his house band, led by a chubby bald guy wearing red devil horns and a cape for Halloween.

“Our next guest needs no introduction…”

Horror hasn’t been a primary go-to genre for me as I’ve aged, but I’ll check out a given work in just about any genre if it can sink a hook into the elusive target that is my set of aesthetic peculiarities. (And by “hook” I do not mean I award imaginary brownie points for use of the empty “elevated horror” label.) In the wake of the Hollywood-wide restart after last year’s dual WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes, some 7,000 new, quick-bake horror flicks will be coming to theaters over the next several months as studios catch up on their precious blockbuster assembly-line schedules. Amid the flood of recent blood-soaked trailers — from high-concept to lowbrow to “the plot is a spoiler!” — one pitch spoke to me from the fray: “Starring David Dastmalchian!”

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Disney World! Part 14: The Last Worlds of EPCOT

April 12, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Shiny ride entrance with giant metal plants sitting outside it. The largest one is purple and over 30 feet tall. The building is made entirely from curved metal, including one arc that ends in midair above the roof.

Mission Space, one of many rides I skipped.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Touring EPCOT solo felt less lonely and awkward as the day wore on and I got used to it. I couldn’t linger too much longer, though. Anne’s company had scheduled a celebratory dinner for all employees and their plus-ones at 5 p.m. The exact location was TBA, traditionally kept secret every year until hours beforehand. One of Anne’s coworkers was a previous winner whose shindig was held in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. There was no guaranteed hers would do the same, but if it were, that would mean we’d indeed get to see all four Disney parks in Orlando on the same trip. We crossed our fingers and hoped for the convenience.

In the meantime, I had a few more sections of EPCOT to see.

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Our Modest View of the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse from Indianapolis

April 8, 2024 By in Indiana Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments
Me doing jazz hands on our sidewalk while the eclipse looks like an ordinary sun overhead. Skies are bluish gray.

3:09 p.m. EDT: Darkened skies during the window of totality here in Indy.

First things first: no, we didn’t catch any super awesome photos of the total eclipse itself looking like a cosmic coffee ring or the old Armageddon teaser poster. 600 million Instagram users got you covered. You did check with them first, right?

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Disney World! Part 13: The EPCOT World Showcase Showdown

April 7, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Statue of a blue knight and a gray horse atop a tall, narrow pedestal in the center of a life-size replica German town square.

St. George and his horse prepare to fight an unseen dragon in the middle of EPCOT’s German Pavilion.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

My tour of the southern end of EPCOT kept going and going as the walkways took me through one simulated country after another in their World Showcase — more exhibits, more gift shops, and more flashy architecture that’s either iconic or stereotypical depending on your emotional relationship to the subjects at hand.

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“Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire”: Back to Basic Behemoth-Bashing

April 6, 2024 By in Movies/Films/Flicks Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
The yellow-and-black IMAX movie poster for "Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire". The title monsters are running in shadowed profile. Tiny fight jets zoom alongside them. The 'A' in "IMAX" is replaced with a Pyramid thinner than any real Egyptian Pyramid.

Bad beasts, bad beasts, whatcha gonna do?

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: the MonsterVerse is a thing! Once enough time had passed since Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla and Peter Jackson’s King Kong, the blockbuster peddlers at Legendary Pictures decided America was ready once again for rude giant animals to crush everything in their paths and possibly dominate theaters. Their Avengers-style interconnected saga began with 2014’s recycle-titled Godzilla, which delivered one truly mighty monster melee after two hours of ordinary humans reminding us what we didn’t like about the previous five decades’ predecessors. Pop culture’s most popular overtall simian returned in 2017’s Kong: Skull Island, a period-piece prequel that shamelessly embraced kaiju camp, OD’d on steroids and let its creatures run amuck through Apocalypse Now backdrops and chase some of the best character actors in the biz. The humans were suspiciously more entertaining and having way more fun than usual, as monster toe-jam ingredients go.

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Disney World! Part 12: EPCOT’s World of Japan

March 29, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
A Japanese gate and dragon sculpture in front of a lagoon. EPCOT's fireworks setups are visible on the horizon and would become important later.

Japan’s share of the World Showcase Lagoon shore.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Most of my EPCOT experience was spent dawdling in the World Showcase, a combination outdoor international shopping mall and museum complex, subdivided into eleven nation simulations across four of the seven continents. Guests can learn about their cultures, sample their cuisine, buy their merchandise, and decide for themselves which bits are authentic carryovers and which are fun stereotypes. All the artifacts, curios, and souvenirs were doubtlessly vetted by multiple committees, but opinions will nonetheless vary among subscribers to the “Death of the Curator” interpretive theory.

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Disney World! Part 11: EPCOT’s World of England and Her Favored Subject Canada

March 28, 2024 By in Travel Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
A Shakespeare bust on a 5-foot-tall pedestal standing in the middle of a garden and manicured bushes along walkways. Flowers are purple and yellow-orange.

Fun trivia; English citizens use Shakespeare busts in their gardens the same way we Americans use scarecrows.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Most of my EPCOT experience was spent dawdling in the World Showcase, a combination outdoor international shopping mall and museum complex, subdivided into eleven nation simulations across four of the seven continents. Guests can learn about their cultures, sample their cuisine, buy their merchandise, and decide for themselves which bits are authentic carryovers and which are fun stereotypes. All the artifacts, curios, and souvenirs were doubtlessly vetted by multiple committees, but opinions will nonetheless vary among subscribers to the “Death of the Curator” interpretive theory.

Continue reading →

Indiana Comic Convention 2024 Photos, Part 2 of 2: The Hayden Christensen Experience and Incident

March 25, 2024 By in Conventions & Events Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
us doing jazz hands while Hayden Christensen stands behind us in a black ball cap with the second Death Star on it.

Us hanging out with the rather tall Anakin Skywalker. This time he had the high ground.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time again! This weekend my wife Anne and I attended the tenth edition of the Indiana Comic Convention at the Indiana Convention Center in scenic downtown Indianapolis. They’ve stopped calling themselves “Indiana Comic Con” on paper for tiresome legal reasons that aren’t their fault, but to us they’ll always be Indiana Comic Con. This year the showrunners reserved more than twice as much space as they did for last year’s edition, a noticeable attempt to scale back up to their pre-pandemic size. Geek life had more space to thrive, but we still had no elbow space in the aisles on Saturday…

…which we could’ve dealt with as we normally do, if anything about this weekend had come to pass exactly as we’d hoped or imagined. To be fair, I can’t blame all our travails on the show. Adulting obligations overruled our original plan to attend Friday, which we thought would be a great day to speed through most of our to-do list amid smaller crowds. We were later told by a fellow attendee that Friday was in fact not a desolate cakewalk. The Indiana Convention Center had anticipated 30,000 attendees this year, but apparently a much greater number showed up on Day One than usual.

Our primary objectives centered on special guest Hayden Christensen, an unsurprising choice to longtime MCC followers or anyone who searches this very site and sees how many times “Star Wars” comes up. We ended up moving all our other wants and photo-op appointments to Saturday and Sunday, trying our best to work around his narrow Saturday-only schedule and gritting our teeth a little because we almost never do cons on Sundays. ICC 2024 joined our short list of exceptions. Given how Saturday ultimately flew off the rails, there’s absolutely no way we could’ve done it all in a single day.

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