Tag Archives: blogging

Your Handy Spam Comment Inspection Checklist

August 16, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , 12 Comments

MasterSpam Theatre

Random spammer, welcome to This is Your Life! And might I say, you have much to rethink.

Each day the ol’ Midlife Crisis Crossover spam filter catches a few would-be advertisers and funnels them into a gravity well for handy reevaluation and inevitable permanent disintegration. For my first depressing month on WordPress it was simple to discern spam comments from real, live comments: if it was a comment, it was a spammer. My undying gratitude remains perpetually owed to those longtime followers who wrote real, live comments in subsequent months so that I could eventually form a basis for comparison between sincerity and superficial salesmanship.

Nowadays my daily spam dosage tends to be the same few varieties over and over again. It’s quick to flush but boring to glance at. It’s rare to see one of their lowly kind be creative enough to merit more than four seconds of my time.

When one of them fails at their quote-unquote “job” in spectacular fashion, then they have my undivided attention for all of a minute, the equivalent of an eternity in their world.

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The Official MCC “Not About” Page

June 30, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

Randall A. Golden, Midlife Crisis Crosssover

Shirt probably from Kohl’s; shorts probably from Wal-Mart. Wristwatch definitely from Wal-Mart. Most expensive item: ticket to visit Manhattan’s Top of the Rock. (2011 file photo.)

Consider this another hearty greeting to the continuing influx of new subscribers, real or otherwise, to this humble blog of mercurial intent. If you have no idea what we’re doing here on MCC, feel free to check out the official “About” page for a vague explanation festooned with a smattering of concrete details. Would-be MCC historians unaware of this site’s early days can check out the original, full-length version before I was overcome with a rare rewriting impulse and vaporized several hundred words.

For those who find both versions no help whatsoever, the following is a new companion piece to clarify the broad MCC mission statement by confirming some of my areas of weakness, insufficiency, disinterest, and/or mild anitpathy. It’s my hope that outlining the opposite of me should help manage expectations for future passersby who might be tempted to tap the “Follow” button with misguided hopes for the future of our reader/writer relationship.

For those tentative visitors, please be aware Midlife Crisis Crossover is 99.99% guaranteed to be not about:

* Fashion. No one wants wardrobe tips from a guy who flinches at a thirty-dollar price tag on a shirt. Occasionally I’ll feel a twinge of jealousy at those men who have the clothing budget to wear suave, name-brand outfits from classy outfitters whose newest offerings are featured in men’s-magazine pictorials before they reach upscale store racks. Even if I reconfigured my mindset and funneled all my comics/movie funding into a new monthly allowance for fabulous clothing, the best-looking items are never manufactured in my size anyway. The best you could possibly see from me here is a column called “New T-Shirt of the Month”. (For the record: my most recent acquisition was a Hawkguy T-shirt. See what I mean? And it’s even worse if I have to explain a joke.)

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An MCC Reader Survey for Every Man, Woman, and Spammer

June 25, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

Once again I’m reporting live from the Department of Trying Something Completely Different and extending this opportunity to YOU, the Viewers at Home, to share your feedback about your Midlife Crisis Crossover reading experience. This may be an imperfect structure (I’ve already encountered one unresolved bug), but I beg your forgiveness and your willingness to humor me in this flighty endeavor.

Assuming I didn’t break anything, embedded in this entry should be a simple survey — two pages, five questions in all — providing statistical info on the MCC readership at large to satisfy my curiosity, to help me think a little harder about what subjects to incorporate here in future entries, to show me whether or not the PollDaddy survey function is worth reusing, and to determine once and for all how many of you are real and how many of you are Matrix holo-henchmen.

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New Rule: Never Write Grumpy.

May 11, 2013 By in Meta, Mundane Tags: , , , , , 12 Comments

Baby Midlife Crisis CrossoverBehold the author at age two, picture taken by a professional photographer circa 1974. To this day I can’t believe my mom agreed to pay for copies. I do understand the parental compulsion to save memories and moments of our offspring’s precious childhoods. Judging by my scornful expression, I gather this was a day in my life better off forgotten. I’d hate to see the rejected takes.

This expression also sums up my mood for too much of today — a poisonous mixture of mandatory overtime in unhealthy, sleep-depriving amounts; stupid chronic muscle pain; a block’s worth of trudging through a nasty downpour without rain gear or even a jacket; and capped with a surprise medical bill from an office visit fifteen months ago. It was the kind of day that inspires little creativity and copious moping if I allow it to consume me. Ibuprofen and caffeine in varying doses soothed to limited extents, as did my wife’s usual daily abundance of kindness. She’s nifty like that.

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The Fable of Why This Blog is C2E2’s Fault

May 9, 2013 By in Conventions & Events, Meta Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

Midlife Crisis Crossover, Randall A. Golden

Portrait of the would-be writer at C2E2 2012. Appropriate soundtrack: the theme from Laverne & Shirley.

Once upon a time there was a guy from Indiana who wrote a lot in college, took classes for it, thought that majoring in a related field would be the right choice, dropped out without credentials, stopped writing, but never stopped reading or wishing he would make time to think of reasons to write.

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Midlife Crisis Crossover Celebrates 1st Birthday, Threatens to Begin Repeating Itself

May 8, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , 6 Comments

Midlife Crisis CrossoverOn April 28, 2013, the blog you’re presently skimming celebrated its very first birthday. Strange but true! I would’ve marked the occasion sooner and in a timelier fashion, but longtime readers might’ve noticed I had a hard time shutting up about that blasted C2E2 event for a few minutes. Even though our official six-part photo gallery is completed, I still have at least three posts’ worth of C2E2-related material in store from a different angle. Out of respect to my readers who might not be as enthralled as I am by local comics conventions, a broader, general-audience digression seemed in order. Also, I’d like to mark the occasion sometime before next New Year’s.

It was a singular event that inspired me to launch this humble site out of a combination of frustration and curiosity. (Expect the story behind said event in an upcoming entry. Enough time has passed, I think, that I can share it with fewer sour grapes.) I set forth on this strange journey to discover the answers to a long list of questions for myself, including but not limited to:

1. How many consecutive evenings in a row can I find a reason/excuse to write about something before I stumble and fail?
2. How much am I willing to sacrifice for the sake of writing?
3. Can I start such a project without a preexisting audience?
4. Is it possible to build an audience from the ground up? Not counting spammers?
5. What sorts of writing will I like best? And what kinds might become a dreary chore?
6. Is there a question ?
7. Can I enjoy myself without being jealous of those who do this regularly for money?
8. Will anyone I know even care?
9. Am I alone in this?
10. Do I really like writing? If not, what am I supposed to be doing with my life?

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MCC Q&A #4: Because Blogging Award Disqualification Can’t Stop Me

April 19, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , 8 Comments

Christopher Plummer, The Sound of Music

Now taking requests! Anyone wanna hear “Edelweiss” for the 300,000th time?

Though I don’t post gigantic blinking .GIFs begging for it, Midlife Crisis Crossover maintains an open policy of Ask Almost Anything (because in my lifetime, AAA has been far more beneficial to me than the AMA), provided I’m aware that I’ve been asked questions. Thanks to a moment of well-timed stumbling, I discovered eleven questions aimed in my general direction from C.v. Heerden from Bridging Worlds, who was actually bestowing upon me the honor of a nomination for the Liebster Award for meritoriousness in the field of blogging. I’m much obliged for the nod.

Two slight problems:

(1) I already did a Liebster Award entry previously, and probably shouldn’t repeat myself any more than I already do. Unless that somehow draws more readers, in which case I suppose I can spend the upcoming MCC Year Two simply reblogging my previous twelve months’ entries one by one and live the high life at the corner of Easy Street and Lazy Boulevard.

(2) According to the Liebster Award rules set forth in myriad versions by the mysterious governing body that refuses to step into the spotlight and claim authorship of their works, it was my understanding that the Liebster Award nominations are permitted only for bloggers with a limited number of followers.

Thanks to MCC’s social media connections, a growing number of live readers (for whom I remain humbly grateful, and from whom I always welcome input), and an even more rapidly growing number of spammer followers (about whom STAB STAB STAB STAB), I believe my current Follower count, though still puny by the standards according to pro bloggers who earn a living at this (in front of whom I remain consistently humbled), still disqualifies me from the Liebsters based on the limits I’ve seen in other Liebster Award entries (200, 500, 1000 whatever).

Regardless of my heartless exclusion from the proceedings by that Mysterious Governing Body, the nominating post did include questions for the nominees. If the MGB would like to emerge from the shadows and try holding me back, I welcome the chance to meet them face-to-face in the light of day.

Anyway. Mrs. van Heerden’s questions, answered in order:

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Welcome, New Bloggers! Your Default “About” Page is Showing.

April 11, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , , , , 18 Comments

Far be it from me to convince myself that 350+ consecutive daily MCC entries and fourteen years of Internet participation experience (dating to the era when Usenet was ebbing but not dying, and “social media” wasn’t a labeled thing) are sufficient credentials to hoist myself upon an ornate pedestal and begin dispensing wisdom from above to fellow WordPress users about The Correct Way to Do Blogging. For reasons that would require a separate entry altogether, I don’t even like dispensing constructive criticism to other online writers, let alone have the ego to declare myself in the sensei business. One glance at MCC’s minimal visual design should provide evidence enough that I have a multitude of lessons yet to learn for myself.

Regardless, longtime bloggers can agree on a few of the most basic of basics. Today’s message is about one of those super-basic basics.

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“Very Inspiring Blogger Award” Nominee Considers It an Honor Just to Be Allowed Internet Access

April 7, 2013 By in Meta Tags: , , , , , 5 Comments

Very Inspiring Blogger AwardI’m well aware that my scattershot topical approach, my avoidance of narrow specialization, my complete lack of millions of share-happy friends, and my refusal to curse probably sabotage the chances of Midlife Crisis Crossover ever being seriously considered for the sort of major awards that have committees, budgets, perks, or multiple voters. I appreciate it, then, when another writer in the Internet trenches takes the time to send an encouraging gesture in my direction.

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award is one of many such gestures available to us. It’s not an official commendation with a nomination process or a governing body or a brick-and-mortar hall of fame that our family could visit on our next road trip. Quite the contrary, the VIBA is a pass-it-on pick-me-up that comes when least expected, means no harm, and provides opportunities for networking and paying forward to others.

Special thanks are owed to Tony Roberts at A Way With Words for this duly acceptable nomination. It’s especially noteworthy to me because Tony is one of only three other WordPress.com users from Indiana that I can recall encountering in MCC’s eleven months of existence. If I include WordPress.org, the head count expands to a whopping four. Truly we Hoosier bloggers are a mighty, tiny army. (If any other Hoosier bloggers are out there, that’d be nifty to know. I can’t even hear you breathing.)

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…Every Word Handwritten.

March 8, 2013 By in Meta, Mundane Tags: , , , , , , , , , 12 Comments

Note 1 of 13
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