What to Do with My Free Yellow Cape?

free yellow cape

Behold the freebie I received for running the Norton Symantec promo gauntlet at Wizard World Chicago 2013. Five minutes of minimal effort toward a game meant to sell a product I’ll never buy, and this was my reward. My wife and I normally avoid any booths huckstering software or any other merchandise we’re unlikely to buy on impulse, but when the doors opened at 10 a.m., not all the guests or exhibitors were in the house yet. We had to find something to do until they did.

Enter Norton’s promotional game, which involved using cell phones to locate hidden hotspots inside their truck maze littered with ad material for Man of Steel, who doesn’t even wear a yellow cape. For our noble efforts in this children’s activity, we received a packet containing some pieces of paper with Norton’s name on them that are lining the bottom of my backpack, a Hardee’s coupon, and said yellow cape. Superman wishes he were this loaded every time he saves a Metropolis skyscraper.

Considering how past Norton products were relentless memory vampires on my old PCs, I’m not tempted by their offer, but I’m still deciding what to do with the bright handicraft they clearly spent months designing for this special occasion. Possible uses so far include:

* Cosplay as Dr. Fate

* Tablecloth that goes with none of our furniture

* Pretend I’m a dashing member of the Sinestro Corps

* Really clumsy apron

* Make first donation to urban charity startup Cosplay 4 Kidz

* Backyard grill cover

* Christmas tree skirt (we may have some matching garland)

* Plan a Curious George reboot in which the Man in the Yellow Hat has radically different sensibilities

* Hang on front door to make salesmen think twice before knocking

* Attract moths to use as fish bait

* Tie around dog’s neck, rename him Super-Norton, use graphs to measure his plunging self-esteem

* Cosplay as new hero Sun-Pope

…or I’m open to other suggestions. Little help? (And no, you can’t have my Hardee’s coupon.)


5 responses

  1. Hmmm. You could sew it into Spongebob, I’m sure there are patterns to be found. Or maybe put some black stripes across it and dress up as Yellow Jacket. You’ll still need a yellow jumpsuit to make that work, but once you have one, options are endless– Bruce Lee, male version of April O’Neill, man in the yellow hat, male/white version of Vixen. 😉

    Ooh, or you could turn it into a flag! I’m sure there’s some cause or community out there that needs a flag…


      • I’ve even written a partial theme song:

        Sun-Pope! He channels the sun’s bright rays!
        Sun-Pope! He protects anyone who prays!
        Sun-Pope! Sun-Pope! Sun-Pope! Sun-Pope!

        …there’ll be more lines as soon as I can find something that rhymes with “liturgy”.

        Of all those other great suggestions, I’m most enamored of caped Bruce Lee, though I imagine I’d draw a LOT of stares.


        • Ha! I love it. You could change the form of the word… ie, “His words are quite liturgical. His precision’s almost surgical! Sun-Pope!” 😀

          Super Bruce Lee wouldn’t be bothered by stares. You’d just have to embrace the character. 😉


  2. Pingback: What to Do with My Free Yellow Cape? | West Coast Review

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