“Ready or Not 2: Here I Come”: Sisters Are Slayin’ It for Themselves

Two blond women tied in chairs in a mansion ballroom. One is dressed normally and confounded, the other is in a bloody wedding dress and screaming.

Movie Team-Ups present Ant-Man’s daughter AND Bill S. Preston, Esq.’s daughter!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Radio Silence is here for all your action-horror needs! The joint sobriquet for the directing duo of Tyler Gillett and Matt Bellinelli-Olpin, their slickly paced, tongue-in-cheek set-pieces — often flooded in literal gallons of blood — caught my attention with the fifth and sixth Screams and the vampire-kidnapping murder-mischief of Abigail even though rivers of carnage aren’t a go-to for me (…he said in an era when over half the films in theaters are fiscally modest horror flicks). Curious for more, I eventually went back and streamed their 2019 crowd-favorite Ready or Not, in which the impressively put-upon newlywed Samara Weaving learns the truth behind the old joke about how in-laws are the worst and is forced to survive “The Most Dangerous Game” by her new family’s regional variant rules, which include old-timey weapons, demonic rituals, and EXPLOSIONS. She survives to see dawn and overcomes one of modern America’s worst fears: spoiled one-percenters who were totally out to get her.

Weaving, the directors, and the first one’s writers R. Christopher Murphy and Guy Busick (who also worked on Silence’s last three films) are back with Ready or Not 2: Here I Come, which naturally has to double and triple every quantity: higher stakes, more killers, more recognizable costars, and overall super-sized Hunger Games with larger industrial hoses hooked to those same chemical-factory-sized blood-vats.

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“Abigail”: Bunhead of Blood

Tween vampire ballerina bursts through a white door, large wood fragments flying, murder in her eyes.

Black Swan but with slightly less agony.

Horror hasn’t been a primary go-to genre for me as I’ve aged, but I’ll check out a given work in just about any genre if it can sink a hook into the elusive target that is my set of aesthetic peculiarities. (And by “hook” I do not mean I award imaginary brownie points for use of the empty “elevated horror” label.) In the wake of the Hollywood-wide restart after last year’s dual WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes, some 7,000 new, quick-bake horror flicks will be coming to theaters over the next several months as studios catch up on their precious blockbuster assembly-line schedules. Amid the flood of recent blood-soaked trailers — from high-concept to lowbrow to “the plot is a spoiler!” — one pitch spoke to me from the fray: “From the directors of the last two Scream movies!”

If the preceding sentences sound familiar, it’s because they’re largely lifted from my previous write-up of Late Night with the Devil. If horror flicks have taught me anything, it’s that recycling is cool. Sometimes old parts can be reused in a new contraption without collapsing. Sometimes the contraption is pretty nifty, like folding a newspaper into a sailboat, or making an omelet with leftover taco filling, or lifting the one-line concept from an old Universal monster movie but throwing away the rest of the movie because no one remembers it anyway.

Hence, directors Matt Bellinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (d/b/a the team “Radio Silence”) present Abigail. The 1936 work that inspired it is a spoiler. Its entire trailer is a spoiler. Fortunately it doesn’t spoil the whole runtime, as more twists abound and a crack ensemble makes up the difference in their performances whenever the writing withholds too much.

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Yes, There’s a Scene After the “Scream VI” End Credits

Most of the cast of "Scream 6" looking straight at us viewers.

I will not drop spoiler hints in the caption, I will not drop spoiler hints in the caption, I will not drop spoiler hints in the caption…

Previously on Scream: I’d given up on Kevin Williamson and Wes Craven’s meta-horror series after the trilogy-capping Scream 3 sunk into chaotic, anti-postmodern soap-operatics back in 2000 sans creator Williamson. In recent times the horror genre in general hasn’t been a frequent go-to for me, but in 2022 curiosity about the fourth and fifth ones got to me when they showed up in my streaming subscriptions and outshone #3 by a wide margin. Thoughts regarding the fifth one:

The meta-META-prologue neatly and hilariously resets the stage and tone, the stabby-stabby is not always kind toward those we assumed were untouchable, and once again the killers’ motives are perceptively Too Real. My chief nitpick is one character’s sad attempt to make the term “requel” happen. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. A “requel” is a just a sequel that had to wait a decade or more for another generation to pick up the baton and sprint with it. Now that Craven is no longer with us, successor directors Matt Bellinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett are more than poised to hold that baton high and poke some eyes out with it.

The same directing duo returns with Scream VI, another round of dancing with one or more devils in the pale moonlight, who may or may not have favorite scary movies. The scenery is all-new and the knives are sharper than ever, but the meta-commentary that makes or breaks every episode’s whodunit solution could’ve used a few more strokes against the whetstone.

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