Five Days, Five Big Trailers, Four Sequels and a Reboot

Star Wars: the Force Awakens!

When blockbuster trailers come, they come not as single spies, but in battalions!

It’s been busy, busy times these past five days in the world of watching previews for mega-budget movies that won’t be here for a while, speculating on same, prejudging them all and assigning our Tomatometer ratings in advance so our opinions won’t be skewed later by the movies themselves. If you haven’t see all five of the latest hopeful super-sized moneymakers, now’s your chance to catch up and revisit worlds we haven’t seen in a long time. There’s a world where dinosaurs are reborn and man is the least dangerous game; a world where “hero” is a word they keep using, but I do not think it means what they think it means; and that one rediscovered world with the lightsabers and the Force and whatnot.

1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Just in time for Star Wars Celebration Anaheim, JJ Abrams and co. showed off new characters and designs, old lines brought back to life, familiar faces alongside new companions, spaceships, weapons, creatures, and that music, familiar yet revitalized at the same time. Of the five trailers, this one’s easily Best of Show. My wife the hardcore Star Wars fan watched it many times and will probably watch it many more till the next one arrives.

2. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

On the other end of the best/worst scale comes Zack Snyder’s emotionally caustic dismantling of the World’s Finest team using elements adapted from Frank Miller’s thirty-year-old The Dark Knight Returns. Whereas The Force Awakens promised us new hopes as well as new challenges, Batman Bleeds Superman: Dawn of Punching reminds us that super-heroes are no better than us and it’s cool to watch them suffer and writhe and hate and not actually do anything heroic. Unless this is all part of a ten-movie story arc that will conclude after my retirement with Superman and Batman having learned at long last how to be true Super-Heroes and becoming the inspiring role models they used to be. But after that we still won’t get to see them in a single new film where they’re actual classic Super-Heroes because by then it’ll be time to reboot the whole series and watch them become young, dark, brooding, killer antiheroes all over again. And again and again and again.

Thus was my annoyance on Twitter the other morning after making the mistake of watching this more than once:

…next.

3. Terminator Genisys

The previous trailer was a greatest-hits recycling of all your favorite concepts and catchphrases from the first four Terminator films, so far with no signs that the greatness of The Sarah Connor Chronicles will ever be approached again. This time around, new ideas enter the fray, lending credence to rumors that the film will be juggling more than one timeline, not just one Past and one Future. Think somewhere between Fringe and Back to the Future II, optimistically speaking.

4. Fantastic Four

Last time I read and enjoyed any FF comics was six years ago during the unjustly forgotten Dwayne McDuffie/Paul Pelletier run. Last time I enjoyed the FF on film was probably in a childhood dream, because those two previous extended chintzy sitcom episodes didn’t impress me and I’ve never thought of a single good reason to hunt down a bootleg of the even chintzier Roger Corman fiasco. I’m not really attached to “my” version of the team anymore, so from my perspective Fox can do whatever they like with the concept as long as they don’t remind me of Galactus the Killer Space Smog. I think going with younger characters (cf. Ultimate FF comics) works well enough here, their powers look suitable rather than silly, and I love that Norman Wilson from The Wire is Sue and Johnny’s dad. I’m willing to grant broad leeway to the director of Chronicle, but Josh Trank better not let us down.

5. Jurassic World

New online today! Starring Bryce Dallas Howard as the glum scientist who sees nothing wrong with breeding giant killer super-dinosaurs for wacky carnival fun, and Chris Pratt as the Raptor Whisperer. The animal attacks and screaming tourists remind me of every Jaws sequel trailer ever, as did the Jaws-like Jawsosaurus pulling a Jaws move on some helpless Jaws-bait. I assume Pratt will make this fun to sit through regardless of whether or not the movie itself is any good. If Mouse Rat plays a song after the end credits, I’ll pay double to see it.

2 responses

  1. I am slightly more optimistic seeing the Star Wars trailer again.

    I didn’t realize FF had the same director from Chronicle. Now I know I will end up seeing it if kidlet is in town then.

    Jurassic World and Terminator will probably go straight to netflix on my priority scale. B vs S, still undecided if I want to see it in the theater to say I did, or wait and MST3K it at home.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m still stuck in that mode where some immature part of me thinks I’m obligated to see every big-budget superhero film or else I lose geek cred. I have no problem skipping the midsize ones — to this day I’ve never seen Punisher War Zone, Catwoman, either Kick-Ass, or some of the really tiny ones like Super (I did catch the last ten minutes one night on cable, and my plan now is to avoid all the other minutes). So I have no idea what our household’s final verdict on BvS:DoJ will be, but sooner or later I expect I’ll reach a saturation point on these.

      I’m not planning to camp out for FF tickets, but I seem to be the only person I know who’s genuinely interested in it. Maybe everyone else is right and I’m wrong, but time will tell, I guess…

      Like

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