Excerpts from “The Grand Jury Jokebook”

Jury Duty!

“Ha! I can do this grand-jurying thing with my eyes shut! In fact, I think I will!”

Q: How many grand jurors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The bulb is burned out, but they’ve ruled it doesn’t need to be changed

Q: Why did the grand jury cross the road?
A: To get to the wrong conclusion

Q: How can a grand jury tell that an elephant has been in their fridge?
A: Those giant footprints in the peanut butter could belong to some other animal, so we have no idea

Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A: The grand jury has heard insufficient testimony proving that suspenders are a thing

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: Grand jury.
A: We’re not home.
Q: Oh, okay, bye.

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A grand jury with a checkerboard

Q: Why is a raven like a grand jury?
A: Both invoke sadness, grief, and parody

Q: Why is a grand jury like a writing desk?
A: You can use both to write whatever narrative you want

(If you think these are terrible jokes, by all means, let us speak of things that are like a terrible joke…)


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