Movies are fun to look at, even when they’re boxed up and stacked on shelves. I enjoy writing down my thoughts about them — whether inspired or incredulous, amazed or aggravated — before too much time passes and the details vanish (if not the entire movie, in some cases). But I’ve grown to despise my self-imposed assignments of constructing an English-class essay every time I come home from the theater.

When something that’s supposed to be fun isn’t, then something needs to be done differently to rediscover the fun in it.

Some of my intended goals for Midlife Crisis Crossover from inception include finding uses for the talent with which God seems to have blessed me in a few respects; figuring out strengths and weaknesses that hadn’t already occurred to me; seeing the results if two or more readers gather around them; and discovering what I don’t want to do with my life.

I figured out months ago I’ll never be a paid movie critic. And yet I kept approximating the typical movie-review format anyway, with each and every theatrical experience, even though those entries on average take me twice as long to write and are procrastinated three times longer.

Some deconstruction is in order, then.

For the next few movie entries, I want to switch to a list/questionnaire sort of format and see if reorganizing and compartmentalizing my thoughts helps make them simpler to capture and less of a chore to wrangle. If I boil down previous reviews to the essentials — i.e., the parts I genuinely liked nattering on about — this may make for a cleaner, poppier experience. If nothing else, it should reduce my adverb count.

Those six parts fit into an outline like so:

Short summary for the unfamiliar: A quick summary wouldn’t hurt, nothing requiring dozens of pages. I try not to assume that everyone is up-to-date on new releases, especially overseas readers.

Hey, look, it’s that one actor!: My wife and I are constantly picking out people we recognize from other TV shows and movies, especially obscure character actors. Her mind is a virtual Twilight Zone guest-star database in itself, and I award unfair bonus points anytime I see someone I know from The Wire.

Nitpicking? Logical loopholes, twists that bothered me, idiot plots, things that clash with my faith — this one’s a sort of negative-potpourri section.

Meaning or EXPLOSIONS? I like pulling out themes and metaphors when I sense them. That’s not always gonna happen, and I mean to note it for the record when I’m clearly in one-dimensional Popcorn Flick territory, whether voluntarily or otherwise.

So did I like it or not? Sometimes even I don’t know my own bottom-line answer. Many of my conclusions read as “Well, yes, I liked it, but…” because a big chunk of my mind is geared toward process improvement and loves brainstorming ways in which some things could be better. That’s hard to shut off, but if I can express a final verdict without being wishy-washy, this section is where that rare magic will happen.

How about those end credits? Because the world demands it, Midlife Crisis Crossover is always on the lookout for scenes after the end credits, even when the ushers tell us there aren’t any and keep trying to wish us out the door before the final reel has run its course. Those end credits cost me about 75¢ out of that ticket price. Someone gonna watch ’em.

This isn’t set in stone, remains a work in progress, and is subject to change without notice, unless the act of writing a notice seems worth the effort. Maybe this will help me find a way toward a more naturalistic style in the long term. If a particular movie inspires an entire essay in the future, I’ll gladly skip the format, chase that impulse, and see where it takes me. My site, my rules, my whims.

(Well, those are the guideposts as long as things look readable to anyone outside my own head, anyway.)

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Surprise survey questions for You, the Viewers at Home:

1. Which parts of the above sound dreadful?

2. Off the top of your head and without cheating, do any of my past reviews stick out as being particularly memorable? At all? (I always welcome input, but I forget that sometimes I should maybe ask for it instead of assuming everyone knows the suggestion box is always open.)

3. Historically, whenever I’ve written about movies I watched at home, the Likes increase but my traffic dies. I’m torn on whether or not to indulge in those more often. Thoughts?