Tonight’s new Revolution episode is titled “Captain Trips”, another in the show’s long line of references to Stephen King’s The Stand, which in turn referenced Jerry Garcia from the Grateful Dead. It was also the name of a drug-fueled super-hero from George R. R. Martin’s Wild Cards shared-anthology series, which blew me away when I was a teenager, even though I might’ve been grounded for a decade if my mom knew about the content.

I’d much rather rattle on about that etymology chain than cover tonight’s main story about the town of Willoughby suffering from the heartbreak of widespread typhus. As I previously complained when it was Sleepy Hollow‘s turn to use the epidemic plot device back in October, “Diseases can be a really dull antagonist.”

Every TV incident of Man v. Disease follows the same outline, nearly shot for shot. People sweating on beds. Medics in surgical masks wiping brows and fumbling with syringes. Stern squinting through microscopes. A suspenseful score trying to assure us we’re watching something suspenseful. A main cast member catching the same illness. Our Heroes will need to hurry because someone Doesn’t Have Much Time Left. We know they’ll either discover the cure by accident or force the villains to hand over the cure. It’s predestined. There’ll be no scenes of the virus growing to human size and revealing itself as a sentient menace. We’ll see no one punch a virus in the face. The perfunctory lab-analysis montage will be populated with characters holding still, hunching over tables, glaring at beakers and Bunsen burners. I’m never clear on which part counts as “suspense”.

Nevertheless, my self-appointed recap task goes on. How did our cast fare this week? Follow along:

Gene, Charlie, and Rachel as Team Race for the Cure: Once our Mexico team returns from last week’s mission, Rachel switches teams and hooks up with Charlie and Grandpa Gene in the quarantine camp to team up with the Patriots against their mutual enemy — the dreaded, alleged typhus. For those of you with money in the Sick Pool, the winner of “Which cast member will be the one to get sick?” payout goes to whoever picked…Gene! Be sure to call your bookie and double-count your winnings.

For artificial emotional stakes purposes, a dying Gene confesses that typhus killed Rachel’s mom. I think it was supposed to be touching, but I was instead reminded of Phoebe Cates’ speech about her dad in Gremlins.

This typhus outbreak isn’t behaving as textbooks say typhus should, but Patriots seem keen on assigning everyone to nonstop nursing duties and disallowing any time for confirming the diagnosis. Rachel steals some time away from prying eyes, conducts a few primitive tests without benefit of electricity, and determines that the virus contains chemically tagged proteins. Presumably the microscope revealed a tiny fine-print copyright notice. Whatever a chemically tagged protein looks like, it means the virus was intentionally manufactured, not a nasty natural surprise like the savage flu that struck The Walking Dead last fall.

Miles and Monroe as Team Drastic Measures: Everyone realizes there’s a 101% chance that the Patriots created the virus themselves (surely administered via free oranges, if we’re to add two and two) and most likely have an antidote as well. Miles (with Rachel’s assistance) kidnaps Patriot officer Ed Truman, jabs him with tainted typhus blood, and demands he fetch the antidote. Bass can’t help smiling because he’s missed watching his former best friend, former employee, and former mortal enemy torture someone for a cause.

Aaron and Prisclla as Team Nanobot Pawns: Aaron has his first nanobot vision in weeks. This time they take Cynthia’s form and strongly recommend he and Priscilla walk south to Lubbock, Texas, with no lucid explanation forthcoming. Priscilla refuses to play the nanobots’ tedious game of cryptic follow-the-leader and will leave Aaron again if that’s what it takes to secure her freedom. Before she can take three steps, a lone firefly buzzes in her face and the nanobots knock over a very tall tree in her direction. Aaron and Priscilla wonder if Lubbock has gift shops.

Tom and Julia Neville as Team Neville, as always: In flashback, two years after the blackout, Tom hadn’t yet become a manly man who can kill an armed opponent in face-to-face combat. Julia remained the faithful wife while li’l Jason hovered near death from starvation. When Tom’s attempt to acquire food from two burly guys got him stomped, Julia reasoned that they need to stick to their strengths, which at this time were smarts rather than fists. When they return to the camp, Julia distracts them with sex while Tom murders each of them behind. It’s lowly and cowardly, but they refuse to argue with results. And oh, those loving looks they give each other.

In the present in Washington, DC, adult Jason has been spirited away to Kenilworth Prison for espionage crimes against Chief of Staff Doyle, Julia’s new “husband”. Tom and Julia agree that getting their son back trumps any and all other causes. Curiously, one of their planning scenes is a secret rendezvous held on DC’s National Mall, where the grass is now tangled overgrowth, the reflecting pool is drained, but the Washington Monument still stands. They agree they don’t stand a chance of infiltrating Kenilworth on their own. Their only hope: force Doyle to get them inside somehow, even if it means blowing their cover.

At the house where Doyle is scheduled for lunch with friends, Tom sneaks in the back with malicious intent. Waiting for him inside are Doyle, several Patriot guards, and Julia held captive at gunpoint. Doyle knows full well who Tom is and allows Tom one last anguished look at his wife before they’re each escorted away by force in opposite directions.

Grace Beaumont, who was right there a few minutes ago: Fled Spring City in the night without telling anyone. Either she really meant it when she said she wanted to be alone, or the supporting-cast budget needed trimming.

Connor, mostly on the bench: Walked with them all the way from Mexico to Texas, wearing all black without dying of heatstroke. I must know his secret.

Connor spends much of the episode snarking in the background because he refuses to accept Willoughby as his cause. Dear old crazy Dad reminds him that they’ll need Miles for their long-term father/son conquest goal, and that Miles wants to help Rachel save Willoughby. The syllogism concludes the two of them need to do their part to save Willoughby. Connor doesn’t question Dad’s assumption that Miles will ever happily be their conquering assistant.

Connor is finally invited into the game when he’s assigned the task of disguising himself as a Patriot and escorting Truman to wherever they’re keeping the antidote. They enter the correct office. Truman opens the safe. Connor orders Truman aside so he can’t grab the gun lying inside (finally someone averts a cliché). Connor digs several vials of antidote from the back. Several armed Patriot guards stroll in and surround them. Connor turns Truman into a hostage.

To be continued!

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[Updated 1/23/2014: Twelve hours later I realized out of the blue that I missed a major plot point: during all the typhus forensics, Rachel also notices that all the victims share one commonality: they were old, crippled, or otherwise deficient people from a eugenics standpoint, thus pointing toward the likelihood that the Patriots targeted those victims with their spiked oranges. I wonder if this means they kept two batches of oranges that were portioned out accordingly, or if healthy residents simply were denied the orange privilege…]

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If you missed all of last season and would rather read about Revolution than spend hours playing TV catchup, the MCC recap of the season 1 finale has links to MCC recaps of all first-season episodes, in all their uneven glory. MCC recaps for the current season of Revolution are listed below as handy reference for whatever reason. Thanks for reading!

9/25/2013: “Born in the U.S.A.”
10/2/2013: “There Will Be Blood”
10/9/2013: “Love Story”
10/16/2013: “Patriot Games”
10/23/2013: “One Riot, One Ranger”
10/30/2013: “Dead Man Walking”
11/6/2013: “The Patriot Act”
11/13/2013: “Come Blow Your Horn”
11/20/2013: “Everyone Says I Love You”
1/8/2014: “The Three Amigos”
1/15/2014: “Mis Dos Padres“